The Mitch-hiker's Guide to the Galaxy | David Mitchell's FUNNIEST Moments, Outbursts & Rants!

Okay, David, if your pet, yes, I have a problem, what do you have? I brought my pet, it's a torch, why did you bring a torch? and it's good luck, good luck in a power outage and it's good luck if you want to murder. someone masturbates a torturer maybe for other people maybe this is the normal way to masturbate what's your 5 sugar sugar I'm not I'm not flirting put on your voice I would have said it sexier well give me an idea of ​​what it would have been Okay , I'll try, this is going to be embarrassing, oh, thank you, okay, get in the time.

I'm still a little embarrassed, but it will get easier. Sorry, Jimmy, I think because Big Ben says bomb right when they bring her back, in case they get her. to say Ben, why don't you take a seat on this show? I mean cookie, although I'm going to say I'm eating a cookie neck. CCTV footage if we don't have snacks here and you're going to be I'm going to let a posh audience turn left. I'm not sure you understand me. Would you be my urban translator? So I have some words here. These are some of the lines from series 1 and 2 that Nassif says, so I want you to say.

Damn, I don't know what that means, so the man can't rap because I guess that could mean that man can't rap because, am I right? I don't know, they don't have Guinness or come back juice dead sex game you have that mixed in something that something David Mitchell said about me they don't have guinea so I understand what they have in the pubs with it so what you say they don't have Guinness what's wrong back- juice back right here what I'm saying you're a real OG so what do you think that means here what I'm saying means here what I'm saying this you're a real accomplished oh I'm saying you're G, you want a real OG, look at my body language too, no, I'm saying your rule G, it's not real, I don't understand why someone says I'm a regional gang, Oh, G stands for original gangster, yeah, okay, what?

Does that mean that, as a criminal who has a lot of good ideas now, it wouldn't be a series of discussions about some food disasters, but whose food disaster in February resulted in calls for the police to contact the MPS and a public apology in the press yeah okay I know I don't know so Richard there's no shortage of KFC chicken David Michelle what are you doing? KFC ran out of chicken. Were you aware of this? Michelle no, I mean, it sounds like an American problem. This is actually a pretty funny story. because they had a company that had delivered all their chicken for years and years and years and they and another company said no, we can do it for less than that and they and the other one, the first poultry company, laid off a bunch of staff and was very sad and all and then this other company didn't come forward, it was almost like they thought, well how much chicken do you need?

Would it be like a chicken on a branch? Okay, when there is a chicken, super tilters, when you need another, you need another. four thousand now an unimaginable amount of chicken that we have to deliver to hundreds of places and now how the hell are we going to do that we used to make packages of chickens when we gave them to them they broke immediately they turned out with five chickens that you love that's all from Jessica God David, do you have a pet? Yes, I almost got my pet, it's a fondue game, it brings you good luck, no, it's contractual, frankly, I've accepted a terrifying amount of money from the Swiss government to be the face of fondue, you know, the bottom line is. in terminal decline would you be eating fondue all the time?

I could try I mean, it's very I shouldn't probably shouldn't say this is very very very cheesy cheese oppressively cheesy there anyway I would suggest that maybe you shouldn't say oh my god I have to talk sometime so GZ anyone else I would like you to help me use different forks? Otherwise, those germs, there is no germ on the planet that can survive that boiling. I thought it would be some kind of showbiz fondue, but it's so hot. Steam comes out of real funds. I love pickle. Don't know. He's from Cornwall. Everyone knows where they were from.

She gave him a cholesterol test before talking about Game of Thrones. Yes a lot. Yeah it's pretty rumpy-pumpy you do a lot of that too cows unfortunately you can't watch tell each other come this come look I don't think it's not the way a big film set works that when there's a scene of sex happening with the actors of all the other scenes we should go and we should go and look really it would be really a lot of electricians come out of nowhere that's a lot of boom operators a lot of carpenters have the electricity yes yes it's densely populated yes they all drill with enthusiasm in one hand, yes, in the other, something I can do to help, we used to do that at my girls boarding school, we spent a lot of time looking at a pamphlet called Men of Alaska, have you ever heard of that?

It's as if. Alaskan loners keep making out that some of them weren't, so some of them, yeah, they were very, very lonely like us, yeah, no, I don't know what we're doing up there, but they were very lonely on the Cooper. The women masturbated. They were in the cart. We were masturbating to this, what a beautiful Christmas picture, "My Christmas appears on the front", which could be your Christmas single, masturbating to the sleigh bells in the snow after each pull. Irish actor Liam Neeson said in an interview this week that after discovering that a friend of his was raped by a black man years ago, Neeson walked the streets for a week with a club waiting for a black person to approach him so he could kill him. , in his own words, and also specifically asked his friend what color the attacker was.

So many questions raised by this, why does the person's color matter, why mention all this in an interview for your film and what is a cosh, if this were the end of your career, there has never been a time in the history of humanity speaking on a topic has been more universally welcomed, what was your opinion on what he said? because he said that? I think that was my thought. Yes. Why did he say that? Yes. Why didn't he say that? He doesn't say it right away. No? I don't think they would have strangled someone if they stopped talking a scenario like speed, you know, you keep driving, you stop with the lights and then you go, it's a speed, yeah, because I was just promoting a movie, yeah, me.

I mean, yeah, if there was someone who would die if he stopped talking and that was the only thing he could think of: David, do you have masks tonight? Oh yeah, what do you have? I have these because I thought that if I brought these it would allow other people to make sexual jokes comfortable making sexual jokes, myself a little repressed, uncomfortable, but I know that people enjoy sexual jokes in some way, tribute by bringing them and it is an opportunity for other people to go, oh I hope I don't. I didn't know you were. I thought it would be wonderful because you loved making sexual jokes.

I'm saying it, I'm saying something sexual, okay Susie, what have you been digging into recently besides glory holes? It's no longer necessary now, have you been searching? For you recently, I think this is the whole effect of your Magnum, oh, accompany a magnet. I know you've had a Magnum, you know, sir. cut the big chocolate, girl, it doesn't work the same on girls, I don't think it has the same effect, I like it, but it's a medicine, right, one just gave you another 50 million swimming soldiers on the TV show and someone It just happened to me. a brown bottle without the label.

I'm afraid, it's like cough medicine, but something strange is happening downstairs. Something very strange is that the initial taste is unpleasant, but then there is an aftertaste that is a little more pleasant than the initial taste. It's like having a blanket that's too small for the bed, I can't buy a bigger blanket because the supermarket is closed but the blanket is made of Kashmir, so what are you talking about? I think he has a squad and they are fantastic, they are like Kashmir, but I would like a The Biggest Fool if that is possible, but you can't obey right now.

More lol episodes. Oh, you're absolutely right, Gabi and Mickey, you got it right? I was talking about the player crisis at Chelsea in 2007 at the end of the January transfer. window yeah, well you see, I'm a Chelsea fan and here's the special, why did they call him that, what does he call himself, how can anyone do that. I'm the dog's idiot, you know, I'm the best lover in the world, isn't it. The special one when he was re-appointed Chelsea manager in June 2013. They asked him if he was still the special one. He responded by saying that now he was the happy one and added that I'm not the special one anymore.

Now I am one of you. You realize that David during this part of football doesn't even bother to look at us from all sides anymore, those cripples over there, yes, they don't know it well, not like us, they just use their inhalers, ladies, gentlemen, please give him a big welcome to Thor. Black Widow, Spider-Man, Black Panther and the Incredible Hulk, okay, all of these guys have had a great year at the box office. Half of the world's ten highest-grossing movies had Marvel characters, but how well do you know them or all I want you to do? is to write his real name oh no you can't have a child in him he can't talk look inside make him move okay let's take a look and see what you have so what would you look for Theodore Roosevelt Theodore Roosevelt is is not the right answer, what did you/Claudia, fat or close enough, Jake Olsen, jegos, etc., or this trick question, is it actually called Thor Thor Odinson?

I would also accept dr. Donald Blake, how cool, real name is Thor or enemy, why would he be crazy to also accept dr. Donald Blake, will you accept dr. Donald Blake to all of them, yes, the whole quote was all I need to make a comedy. Yes, the full Pope was all I needed to make a partition. You're starting to make me look like I'm Maura. Yes, yes, the whole quote was all I needed. I need to make a comedy like a park, a policeman and a pretty girl too yes, the whole quote was all I need to make a comedy of the park, a policeman and a pretty girl, also everything that is needed to finish a promising career as a policy, miss. read it all, pretty girl politician, would pretty girl Eason catch him and then that's Bo laughing in the wrong place, although think about where you would have laughed if it had been a surprise?

No pressure, thanks yes, the whole quote was all I needed to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl, plus, everything it takes to finish a promising career as a politician. I do, yeah, this actually cost me a lot of money on eBay and this is something from the Duchess of Cambridge or Kate Middleton like she was then some I've heard toenail clippings there we go, you see, there's a little nail clipping from a very, very real person, what do you mean genuine?, but I mean, it cost me £25,000, they just can't all be ordinary, right?

Definitely, for her, the best thing about this is that as DNA technology advances, what I have here is her DNA code, which means that in the next few years I will be able to make another one and then she will have no legal rights, she will simply should be My Creature, it's just the cuts in the tap at the end of the show, so it's time to spit some clothes in the bars, some clothes in moss, get my team right, so what are we going to do ? Let's go this way. Listen. look, you know what I mean, come every meal in the store, Oh, Gilligan, next to our big nasty, I mean, you know, I mean, what's a, you know, I mean, these six guys They can grow and achieve what you want me to choose or choose on stage.

Meet me, I have a note from my wife, dear sir. unpleasant the stick I'm just writing to inform you that David will not participate in today's closing bars, thank you