How To Be Confident In Any Situation

For many men, Don Draper is the epitome of confidence. You are happy with your agency. You are not happy with anything. You don't want most of it, you want it all and I won't stop until you get it all. But what most people don't realize is that confidence actually comes in two flavors. There's the external confidence you project, which can make closing deals, making friends, or seducing more natural. But there is also inner confidence, that you feel how comfortable you are in any

situation

, so in this video we will analyze what Don can teach us. about both levels of confidence and how mastering each level can take you from nervous to completely

confident

in any

situation

.

Now, at the most basic level, we have the way Don behaves. Obviously. He's a handsome guy. He has nice suits, but it's the relaxed body language of him. That's the most interesting thing, for example. He almost always sits asymmetrically and spreads out comfortably. In fact, he will relax you if you do it yourself. Don also moves freely in most environments, indicating a sense of comfort and ownership wherever he is, acting like the boss everywhere. Now, you don't need to take him that far, just have your feet apart at the same time. at least shoulder height when standing or leaning with your arm over a chair so that it does not prevent another person from sitting.

He goes a long way toward projecting confidence. Additionally, you'll see Don unconsciously indicate that others need to work to get his attention. He leans back in his chair Even when he's in a position where you'd think he'd want to win someone over. Just like with customers, this changes the dynamic and makes them work harder to win you over. Not bad in winter. It's a big shock to come back. Well said, but it could be any vacation. This was very, very different. Don creates a similar effect with his eye contact at the beginning of many interactions. He simply makes limited eye contact, almost uninterested in what is being said.

I'm going to stuff myself with drinks and convince myself what a terrible mistake I'm making. It was quite a drink. If you are sitting in front of him. This will make you want to try to gain his attention. It feels good to get the person who isn't paying attention to you to do it, and when the other person has done it, Don gives his full, penetrating eye contact on special occasions. Like when he's making a comment, what you call love was invented by guys like me, without nylons or clear speech like he does in this lipstick campaign.

She wants to tell the world. He is mine. He belongs to me. You do not. She marks her man with her lips. Or seduce you like he does all the time on the show. My name is Don. The most important thing you can incorporate into your life thanks to Don's variable eye contact is not that you need to ignore people to be cool, but when you make your key points. You want them to pay attention to perfect those narrow, piercing eyes that keep people captivated and show confidence in the words you say while emphasizing your most important points.

Now you can do everything he's talked about so far quite easily, but a much more difficult element of body language to master is what you don't do and he pays attention to the sunrise. You will notice that he does not fidget and that takes us to the next deeper layer of trust, which is non-reactivity. This is something we actually talked about in our video with James Bond. This is much harder to fake because our emotions often get the better of us in these high-stress situations. And this is an area that we are lacking and competition can really be a detriment: you overreact to your own mistakes and end up making things worse, but when you can remain non-reactive, it shows that you are not pressured by what is happening around you and that It makes you look more powerful, for example.

Watch out, Don reacts to two men flirting with her wife in Rome and how he calmly interprets that he doesn't even know her. Contrast that with his insecure overreactions to him. Can I join you? Yankee, go home *Speaks Italian* Are they making fun of me? A bit. I'm only in Rome for one night. The sense of comfort and power that Donne conveyed simply by not reacting is surely part of what attracted Betty to him in the first place. This same level of low reactivity is especially important if you are a leader. In times of crisis, it is now important to feel your feelings, but if they are not controlled, they can hinder the joint effort to get out of a serious problem.

Keeping emotional expression under control actually inspires resolve in others, plus simply staying silent when things go wrong is a good buy. You have valuable time to think without exposing yourself as someone who is totally confused and lost. Don is so good under pressure, not just because he is quick on his feet. Actually, that is an illusion. It's because he slows down enough to think calmly and react in the best way possible. Watch how he responds when a customer doesn't like his speech. I'm going to have to speed it up a little bit because he gives himself away. 20 seconds to think Gentlemen before you leave.

Can I say something? As a general rule? We demand quicker responses from ourselves than from others. People give themselves only 30% of the time to respond that they would give someone else, which is why many of us find it difficult to pause when giving a public speech, even though we know it is a powerful tool. So when you're in a stressful situation and you feel like you need to do something right now, pause, you'll almost always be better off from a presentation perspective and a decision-making perspective to breathe deeply and slowly. below Otherwise, you will look frantic and out of control.

Now, the next sign of more deeply internalized confidence is not trying to convince other people and that may sound strange because when you think of Don Draper you might think of salespeople who are all about persuasion, but being persuasive in general is very, very different from Trying to convince any specific person, so paradoxically, Don makes many of his sales without bothering customers and instead presenting himself as an equal partner in a negotiation. He is examining them as much as they are examining him. Call it a day Gentlemen, thank you for your time. Is that all? You're a non-believer.

Why should we waste time on Kabuki? Sit down? No, not until I know I'm not wasting my time. This is effective because one of the ways we determine if we want to partner with someone is by how much they seem to want and need us, of course we like people who are interested. in us But not too much. It's much better to share your interest, whether with a date or a client, but walk away if it's not reciprocated. Now a caveat here is that if you walk away emotionally angry you are not indicating confidence or power. .

You are showing signs of petulance and that makes other people just happy to get rid of you. Don is guilty of this from time to time when people don't like his ads. I hope you enjoy looking out the window. Give me a minute, go. Don, excuse me? Pick up your things and leave my office now. Resist the temptation to yell or tell a date or client how sorry you are for blowing the opportunity and instead adopt the mindset that says, "Well, it looks like we're not." a match. Wish you all the best. Now this finally takes us to the deeper layer of trust.

And that is the belief that it doesn't matter what you are. Well, when you have internalized this confidence it will be easy for you, now everything sounds good. But how do you develop this belief so that you feel it in any situation. One of the fastest ways to build any situation. to believe is to live it. So you prove to yourself that everything will be okay by doing exactly the things you think you wouldn't be okay doing and you don't have to jump off buildings, in this case I mean socially. stuff, so this is what Don does in the later seasons and I'll have to quickly catch you up on the Madmen plot so the next few clips make sense for those of you who don't know that Don's real name is Dick Whitman. he stole his identity as a lieutenant when he was in the Korean War to escape his old life and get out of the war and has lived under that false name and even a sort of false persona since displaying the outward veneer of stoicism and confidence while At Door closed, his family and sometimes even his career and emotions are falling apart, but in the final seasons of Mad Men Don tells the truth at great personal cost.

He first tells his Hershey's client the truth about his orphaned childhood, which causes him to lose count and gets himself fired I was an orphan I grew up in Pennsylvania In a brothel Do you want to advertise that? If it were up to me, you would never advertise. He then confesses his moral failings to Peggy while she was at a retreat in California. I broke all my vows. I scandalized my son. I took another man's name and finally, after being honest out loud, he has the courage to reveal it. the emotions that made him abandon his old life and everything is set in motion.

Where a man in retirement confesses to feeling invisible and unlovable. I had a dream where I was on a shelf in the refrigerator and someone closes the door and the light goes off and I know everyone is out there eating and then they open the door and you see them smiling and they're happy to see you but maybe they don't. They look straight and maybe they won't pick you and then the door closes again. The light turns off. Don is sitting there shocked by his conversation with Peggy, but as he listens, he goes from completely ignoring it to fully understanding where he's coming from despite the validation of business success and affairs with many beautiful women.

Don still feels unlovable and when he finally acknowledged that same feeling of being invisible and unlovable, he is able to authentically connect with his man *Crying* This is the deepest layer of trust It's not about always looking good or saying always the right thing and it's not even about getting other people to do it. respond to you in a favorable way. It's living your life at least socially as if you're fine no matter what and that means you can tell the truth. Even if it makes you lose a client, you can tell the truth, even if it makes you feel weak, because when you live the truth you believe you will be okay, no matter what.

Instead, you won't feel weak for long. You'll stop feeling like you always need to say the right thing and you'll stop worrying that someone else might reject you. Because you know you will never reject yourself. And when you combine this. Deep inner confidence with the ability to project outer confidence, every interaction becomes easier and more fun, and you may even begin to look forward to situations that previously stressed you out now. If you are interested in the fastest way I know of to build both deeply. Confidence and that external demonstration of confidence. I put together a video program to quickly get you to the point where you feel centered in any social situation.

So you don't feel like you're hesitating or searching for what to say to make the interaction work. Surprisingly, this is our flagship program called Charisma University, it is a six-week program and every day you will receive a step-by-step action guide to make confidence your default way of being and it focuses on both the presentation aspect and inside. aspect of the game Which is good because it takes the guesswork out of everything. Just follow the guide and you will get the results. So if you want a fast track to greater confidence and more charisma, you can learn more about the course with the button on the screen or the link in the description.

We have had thousands of members who have followed it. This course and make the most of it. I hope you decide to join if this is an area of ​​your life you are looking to improve. Either way, you're fine and you'll be fine. I hope you enjoyed this video. and I hope to see you next time