How To Make Small Talk With Anyone

We've all had conversations that feel forced or boring or that are full of awkward silences, it can be almost painful like the clip below, so you like country music or you like country, yeah, cool, so in this video we'll go over five steps. To

make

small

talk

with

anyone

, we'll do it by breaking down some tricks that Joe Rogan uses on his podcast to connect with everyone from academics to athletes to celebrities, some will be mindsets and some will be word-for-word questions, you can steal these habits. they're a big reason why a lot of joe's conversations end like this bob sagan i love you i love you thank you man thank you it was so much fun it was great this was great thank you so much thank you so much I really enjoyed this man I really enjoyed it tell people always I appreciate you, man, I really appreciate you and I really appreciate you too.

Most people have their guard up when they first meet you, they're not sure if you're going to be competitive or try to bring them down. In some ways, the first trick you can steal from Joe is to grease the wheels early with a compliment. This isn't something you have to do to

make

small

talk

go well, but it helps you start the conversation on a positive vibe. There are many things. of possible compliments you could give someone who said there are three easy types you can focus on for small talk their work their energy or a platonic physical complement with those three options you should be able to complement almost

anyone

you meet here is an example quick of every thank you Thank you so much for being here, I'm a big fan, so it's an honor, I love being around people like you, my boy, the people around you, people like you, you're going all the time and it's contagious.

It's you, you emit energy. Nice to meet you, nice to meet you too, by the way, congratulations on the mustache, the bottom piece of the mustache combination, that's the anarchist guy with that guy, who's the mask, oh, the fawkes guy, that's it, yeah , perfect. People make three common mistakes when giving compliments that you'll want to avoid. The first is to make the compliment too sexual. The second is to give a compliment that you don't mean and that makes you seem manipulative. The third is to insist on the compliment. A compliment is great, but. Especially with high-status people who hear compliments all the time, you'll want to make the transition fairly quickly.

In general, going from a presentation to an interesting conversation is one of the most difficult parts of small talk, the best way to do it is through the transition between topics using reminds me to think, for example, with josh barnett joe starts the conversation in his usual way by complimenting his beard how long have you been drawing? that's real after josh replies joe does what most people would do and starts talking about his own hair but very quickly uses it to dismiss a potential new topic probably 35 i started growing like a serious hair on the back, I'm not like who is that Russian fighter, is this, oh well, there was this guy, uh, victor zangief. who actually did pro wrestling that guy was just covered in it oh yeah right there's another guy solomon hashemica most people make the mistake of thinking too linearly during small talk so they just comment on their own hair and then look at you hoping that you would take the conversation somewhere interesting just by saying that his back hair reminds him of a Russian wrestler.

Joe and Josh can spend the next four minutes talking about various MMA fighters and wrestlers. It is a simple habit to develop and generates great benefit. difference in the quality of their small talk here's another quick example with rob lowe rob asks joe a question about baseball that joe doesn't seem interested in talking about most people here would just say something like no, not really and I would let the conversation stagnate instead Joe uses lateral thinking to transition to something else Are you a baseball fan with crowd noise and crowd noise? No, I'm not a fan of fake noise.

I hate that some cars do that and play fake engine noise through the speakers. Jesus exactly because not only did he answer the question, but he wondered what fake sound in a ballpark reminds him that they were able to transition to cars, a topic they both happen to love, so next time they're chatting and they can I can't think of anything to say, it's as simple as asking yourself what this reminds me of and then taking the direction that first comes to mind. In both cases, you see another common habit of Joe's: he seeks out topics of mutual interest, Joe. he is famous for doing this by mentioning dmt in every conversation. good dmt dmt dmt dmt emt dmt dmt when a guest doesn't know what it is, he just falls by the wayside, but when they do, it's an immediate connection, this will keep him genuinely interested.

In conversation, Joe is a master at doing this in the other direction and he also has two tricks for getting other people excited about the conversation. They are both very easy to do, but most people don't do them, so it feels like small talk. so painful sometimes for example here's a little common conversation from where are you from originally im from wilmington delaware wilmington delaware i don't know, i don't know many people from delaware thank you yeah what's wilmington like nice town yeah its cool Where are you from? It is nice? These are boring questions that no one will be excited to answer unless they already like you.

It's very similar, but look what Joe asks. Why Utah man? Why do you live in Utah? What's this about Joe Peels? onion, goes a level deeper by asking why questions that get someone to talk about what they value may seem difficult to integrate into a conversation, but it's actually pretty simple, you just do it in two phases, where do you live? That's cool, why do you live there? What do you do at work? Interesting why you decided to do that, even if the person doesn't like where they live you will be able to hear what is important to them, maybe it is their job, their family, a passion, whatever it is, now you know what it is . important to them and you can ask a question about what they are much more likely to want to talk about.

This ties directly into the second trick Joe uses. He asks questions that are fun to answer, for example, a problem he might run into during small talk. is that some people don't have anything interesting in their lives to share about one way to overcome that block is to ask a fun question that removes the restriction of having to be realistic here are some examples if you had a magic wand and someone said you can Do whatever you want to fix this, what would you do? If you were the king of the world, Ed said, what are we going to do?

Let's say you become president, putting both tricks together, a big decision tree with questions to get an answer. An interesting conversation could be what do you do and then as a follow up, do you like it? If they say yes, you can ask why and get their values. If they say no, you can ask well, if you had 100 million dollars, what would you do instead? Joe also has two habits to create a connection with people while he listens. The first is that he laughs easily. This makes him more fun to talk to because it makes you feel good about being funny even when you're not trying to be, like, look at him. reacts when elon musk talks about selling flamethrowers through the boring company how many did you make twenty thousand and it's gone? here's another example where joe laughs at what dan balzerian says even though dan isn't trying to make a joke and I was single and I was like, you know what I am, like making a bucket list like I do. that it's like whatever he wanted to do as a kid, I'm just going to do it, he's able to find the humor in the absurd. and in both cases you see the other person light up a little while Joe laughs.

For another example, look at David Blaine's big smile after he accidentally makes Joe choke out like euphoria, yeah, exactly, except this one is even better and then you have all these dreams no, no, that sounds exciting, the point here isn't is faking a laugh, what you want to do is allow yourself to laugh every time you find something funny, laughing is a habit that gets easier the more you do it, so if you have difficulty laughing when you go out with friends or chat with strangers, a good habit is to look at something that you know will make you laugh just before leaving, this will help you be in a better position to laugh in a conversation, the second habit that Joe has when listening is to reflect, there are several ways to reflect, but Joe's is more similar to former FBI negotiator Chris Vos' method, the mirroring method I teach is much more simplistic and, interestingly, has a big impact on how the other person interacts with you and is just repeating the last one to three words. who have said word for word one to three words or are repeating one to three selected words here is a quick example where it is reflected to make you feel heard it's not like I want to take over the world alone I want to make a living doing what I love , that's all I want, you know, and it's hard, I know it's hard.

Here's a different example, this time reflecting on establishing a rapport with Jordan Peterson before taking control of the conversation or King, what is it? you call him prime minister trudeau, that guy the pitcher lover the castro lover I was just going to say that this guy doesn't do this after every sentence, but if you find that you want to make someone feel heard or you want to interrupt without making the person stop Feels ignored reflects his last three words It's also worth noting that while Joe reflects people's words, he's not a chameleon, he stays true to himself and his style, for example, Jordan Peterson is a polite guy who uses suit and choose his words carefully, but you just saw Joe chatting with him in a hoodie dropping F-bombs in the first minute, so you should mirror someone's last words as a quick trick to establish some rapport , but you don't want to copy everything about someone, stay true to yourself. and be confident in who you are if it's something you'd like more help with.

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I hope you enjoyed this video and I look forward to seeing you next time.