George Carlin on some cultural issues.

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thing else I don't understand motivation tapes motivation books what happened here suddenly everyone needs to be motivated it's

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thing quite simple either you want to do something or you don't want to do something what is the big mystery also if you are motivated enough to go go go the store to buy a motivational book, are you not motivated enough to do it? Then you don't need the book. Return it. Tell the court. I'm motivated. I'm going home. I'm going home. Can someone explain it to him? I have an hour left to finish the photo. You just saw the thing.

How is it possible that you feel nostalgic for a concept like the one from a while ago? Another complaint: too many vehicles. There are some families in this country that own too many vehicles. You see them on the highway in a motor home, but that's not enough for them, harvey is not enough behind them, they are towing a motor boat, a go kart, a buggy, a dirt bike, a jet ski, a motorcycle of snow, a paraglider, a hang glider, a windsurfing team, a hot air balloon and a small two-person deep water dive. bell, no one just goes for a walk anymore, the only thing these people are missing is a lunar excursion module, too many options, America, it's not healthy, another abomination, white kids over 10 wearing their baseball caps to the Upside down, guys, let me tell you something.

You're never going to be as cool as black people, that's not going to happen, you're white and you're lame, it's a law of nature, turning your hat and learning a complicated handshake is not going to make you cool, and you black people, since then. You started it all. I'm going to let you keep the hats on a little longer, but I think really once you qualify for social security it's time to turn it around again. Another tip. Another tip for men. Earrings. The earring thing is over It's over a long time ago It doesn't mean anything anymore It was supposed to piss off the squares The squares are wearing them now It doesn't mean anything They're just jewelry unless you have an earring with a live baby hanging from it They're just jewelry and I want you to know that I am in favor of self-mutilation and personal disfigurement.

I've always said there's nothing like getting your skin pierced and pierced in a dozen places to show off your tall self. -esteem when I see a young man decorating his scalp with a soldering iron I say that he is a happy guy who thinks very highly of himself and haven't we gone a little overboard with these colored ribbons for different reasons, each cause has its own color now red? for age blue for child abuse pink for breast cancer green for rainforest purple for urban violence I have one brown you know what it means to eat eat and what we can do to silence these Christian athletes who thank Jesus every time who win never mention their name when they don't lose a word you never hear them say jesus made me drop the ball the good lord made me trip behind the dirt of the line of scrimmage according to these guys jesus is undefeated while these guys are in last place must be another one of those miracles and Speaking of delusional people, what about a guy who hears a voice in his head telling him to kill his entire family and does it?

It is this? The only thing a voice tells these people to do is kill others, isn't it a voice? Have you ever told a guy to go to the salad bar at Wendy's? He doesn't always tell a guy to take his dick out on the merry-go-round once in a while. Well, some guys take their dicks out on the merry-go-round. merry-go-round but it's usually your own idea something else I can do without aftershave and cologne and this disgusting thing that men put on their bodies just what I need in the elevator a guy standing next to me smells like a pine tree I said go away.

Go home and wash your smelly penis. You smell like a Portuguese cat house potty. Damn guys, they're stupid. The guys are very stupid. They think they're going to get laid with these things. You know, oh yeah, they wear them at home. I'm going to bed tonight I'm going to bed tonight You're not going to bed with green coming out of a bottle, okay, and the only smell that will help you have sex might be your own natural scent. You have pheromones, it's secondary. sexual characteristic people in America oh nervous about sex they want to cover it up and disguise it guys in Europe know how to live the guy gets on the elevator there he smells like a lot of dog those people are sophisticated and are getting quite tired of these guys walking around and hats cowboy and cowboy boots have you ever seen these idiots, can't we kill some of these walking around in a cowboy hat grown man?

It's not even Halloween, for God's sake, I say, hey, Tex, grow up and get yourself a wardrobe of the century. You're living in Why do certain men feel the need to dress up as mythical figures You don't see anyone walking around in a pirate costume Once the last guy you ran into was wearing a Viking outfit the closest fantasy cowboys to them? I once got to some cows when they stopped to pee at an arby's and the camcorders here there's technology gone crazy everywhere you go now there's a penis, a yo-yo, some putts with a camcorder and he's going to record everything, nobody in this country you just stop and look at things, you'll sort of take it in, maybe even remember it, it's just a strange notion that experience has to be documented, taken home and saved in the program and people actually see these are the lives of people, so bankrupt they sit at home watching things they already did these guys are so intense, you know, it's always guys, they don't let women touch the cameras, it's a very technical skill, they look through a hole , they press a button, great skill and it's them. everyone thinks they're federico fallini low angles, close ups and pans and it's the same three ugly kids in every damn shot all the magic of

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lucas in hollywood is not going to change the unfortunate genetic makeup on these kids' faces keep these unfortunates away young people from the public eye now many of these hold out for a second many of these

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crimes I've been complaining about can be attributed to baby boomers something else I'm a little tired of hearing about baby boomers whiny narcissistic self-indulgent people with a simple philosophy, give me what's mine, give me what's mine, these people were given everything, everything was given to them and they took it all, they took it all, sex drugs and rock and roll and they stayed loaded for 20 years and they had a life free. ride, but now they're looking down the barrel of middle-aged exhaustion and they don't like it, they don't like it, so they become self-righteous and want to make things difficult for the younger ones, they tell them to abstain from sex, they say . no to drugs in terms of rock and roll they sold it for television commercials a long time ago so they could buy pasta machines and escalators and soybean futures you know something they are cold and bloodless people it is in their slogans it is in their rhetoric there is no pain doesn't win just do it life is short play hard it happens deal with it get a life these people went from doing their own thing to just saying no they moved on from love is all you need whoever ends up with the most toys wins and they went from cocaine to rogaine and you know what, they're still counting grams only now they're fat grams and the worst thing about this is the rest of us have to watch these commercials on TV for baggy Levi's jeans and fat ass Docker pants because these yuppie boomers degenerates don't They keep their hands off the croissants and the haagen-dazs and their big fat butts have spread everywhere and they have to wear fat pants, these boomers, these yuppies and all, now that I think about it, sometimes in comedy you have to generalize now there is one thing you may have noticed I don't complain about politicians everyone complains about politicians everyone says they stink good where do people think these politicians come from?

They don't fall from the sky They don't pass through a membrane from another reality They come from American parents and families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American companies and universities and they are chosen by American citizens, this is the best we can do, friends , this is what we have to offer, this is what our system produces. garbage in the garbage, out if you have selfish and ignorant citizens, if you have selfish and ignorant citizens, you will get selfish and ignorant leaders and term limits will do no good, you will just end up with a new group of selfish and ignorant Americans, so so on maybe maybe maybe it's not the politicians that suck, maybe something else sucks around here, like the public, yeah, the public sucks, there's a nice campaign slogan for someone, the public sucks, hope, hope, because if It's really just these politicians' fault, so where?

Are all the other people bright with conscience? Where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans ready to step in and save the nation and lead the way? We don't have people like that in this country. Everyone's at the mall scratching their butts, picking their noses, and taking off their clothes. He took a credit card out of his fanny pack and bought a pair of light-up sneakers, so I solved this little political dilemma in a very simple way on Valentine's Day. the elections I stay at home I don't vote for him I don't vote for him two reasons two reasons why I don't vote, first of all, it doesn't make sense, this country was bought, sold and paid for a long time ago, they are shuffled every four years no it means nothing and secondly I don't vote because I think if you vote you have no right to complain, people like to twist that, I know they say, they say well, if you don't vote you have no right to complain, but where is the logic that if you vote and elect dishonest and incompetent people and they come into office and ruin everything, well, you are responsible for what they have done, you caused the problem that you voted them into, you have no right to complain, I, On the other hand, who did not vote, who did not vote, who in fact did not even do so.

Leaving the house on Election Day is in no way responsible for what these people have done and I have every right to complain as loudly as I want about the mess you created that I had nothing to do with, so I know that a little later this year you are going to have another one of those really wonderful presidential elections that you like so much, you will really enjoy it, it will be a lot of fun, I am sure that as soon as the elections are over, your country will improve immediately, as far as I'm concerned.

I'll be home that day doing essentially the same thing as you, the only difference is that when I'm done masturbating I'll have something to show you guys, thank you very much.