George Carlin: Talks Government, Language, Race, and a bit about himself

ladies and gentlemen, let us warmly welcome mr. George Carlin I am not here to promote any political, social or environmental cause. In fact, fortunately I am free from an agenda. I don't want to save the river. I don't want to save the bay. I don't want to save the canyon. the whale the wetlands the rainforests or the flying spotted midgets something or another I don't want to save the children most of all frankly frankly I don't care about many of those things and I win them between you and me those battles were lost a long time ago I don't care free someone by boycotting something or preventing something.

I'm interested in keeping my lunch in my mouth if I can and I don't want to do something optional. I refuse to wear ribbons of any color, you could say I am. I'm just here to help define deviance. To be honest, there aren't many things I believe in, but among them would be friendship, family ties, and romantic love. I think those things can take you very far, for the record, the only worthy cause. I've spent time in a little-known place that does wonderful work. San Antonio's house for the visually unpleasant. It is run by the little sisters of the atrocious and in fact they operate several facilities.

Rochester's home for the permanently unkempt. England Haven for the occasionally coherent and the Catholic refuge for those who until a year ago seemed fine. I thought today it would be good for me to come to you with some of my linguistic complaints, certainly not to blame you. although of course you are involved and it's not like you can help it, I mean the problem really is with the people you cover, the politicians, the celebrities and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still being fun to listen to them talk in particular. It's fun to hear talk in Washington whenever the topic of term limits comes up.

I always tell people that the only term limits I'm interested in would be limiting some of the terms used by politicians; They speak, of course, with great caution because they must take, they do not worry about saying anything. Proof of this, according to their own words, is that they do not actually say things. They indicate them as I indicated yesterday and as the president indicated to me, but sometimes they do not indicate, suggest, let me suggest that as I indicated yesterday I have not yet determined that. Look, they don't decide. They determine if it is a really serious matter.

They pass a judgment. I haven't made a judgment on that yet. When the hearings conclude, I will make a judgment or I could make an evaluation. I'm not sure I haven't figured it out yet, but when I do, I'll let you know. They don't say, they advise. I informed him that I had made a trial so far. He hasn't responded, no. they do not answer they respond they have not responded to my initiative an initiative is an idea that goes nowhere when they respond to my initiative I will review their response take a position and make a recommendation see they do not read they review they do not have opinions, they take positions and do not give advice, they do recommendations and so, finally, after each has responded to the initiatives of the others and each has reviewed the responses of the others and each has taken a position, made a judgment and offered a recommendation, now they have to do something, but that would be too direct, so instead they address the problem, we are addressing the problem and we will proceed soon.

That's a big activity here in Washington. They are always proceeding or advancing while that. continue senator, have you solved that problem? Well, we are moving forward on that and when they are not moving forward, they are moving forward on something else, like the process, we have to move the process forward so that we can implement the provisions of the initiative to face these challenges no one has problems anymore challenges that is why we need people who can make tough decisions tough decisions like how much soft money I can expect to charge in exchange for my core values ​​so I can continue to work in

government

, of course no politician would admit to such a humble position as working in

government

serving the nation.

I am serving the nation. Another favorite distortion is public service. I am in public service. I like the United States, don't you? The food is excellent. but public service is terrible now folks, a question for you: do you think it is possible that from time to time one of these politicians whose judgment is so poor that it is honestly considered service to the nation to indulge in a little of patriotism? Think about it, of course, it is not only possible, it is inevitable and that is when you are at your best, that is when you bring out the really good things in all this great land of ours, the greatest nation on earth, the nation largest in the history of the world and In times of military crisis, you can be sure that someone in a suit in this city will eventually get in front of a camera and talk a lot about the most powerful nation on the face of the earth.

Now normally, in peacetime, politicians will do it. We refer to people in the military as our young men and women stationed around the world, but in times of war they quickly become our brave young fighting men and women stationed on the other side of the world in places whose names they cannot pronounce and They wonder if they will ever see them. their loved ones again for greater emotional impact, sons and daughters can always be substituted for men and women, so I think we can summarize this by saying that when it comes to the military, the extent of the insincerity of A politician can be measured by how far away the world is from our station our soldiers are stationed and whether any of them can pronounce it or not, by the way, another way to express this sentiment is to say that we are sending our young men and women to places that the average American can't find on a map.

I've always thought it was funny and somewhat out of character for a politician to go out of his way to point out the low level of American intelligence when, in reality, his job depends on it, it would seem to go against that other rhetorical device of his, the American people. is much more intelligent than they are credited with, this is said with a serious face, although it is obvious, of course, that the proposal is expressed precisely the other way around, but the politicians may God bless them or something like that. they are more entertaining when they are in trouble when they are in trouble their explanations usually begin simply with words like miscommunication, what did you do wrong and senator, well, it was a miscommunication or they quoted me out of context, better yet and more ironically, they misrepresented my words, what a nice touch, a person who routinely spends his days torturing the

language

complains, they twisted my words and then as the controversy continues to heat up he moves on to the next level of complaining, the whole thing has been blown out of proportion. the whole thing is always all apparently no one has ever claimed that just a small portion of something was exaggerated it has to be the whole thing because now you are feeling the pressure and as time goes on and more evidence comes in you suddenly change direction and us He says we're trying to get to the bottom of this, now that he's on the Jujitsu side of law and order, we're really trying to get to the bottom of this so he can communicate the facts to the American people. that's always a nice touch, American people, in fact, at this point, I might even say I'm willing to trust the justice of the American people, he's clearly setting us up for something, and so when all the facts finally come out light and our subject looks quite guilty. he employs that sublime use of the passive voice mistakes were made mistakes were made don't look at me probably someone in my office things are moving faster now mistakes were made is quickly overcome by no evidence no one has proven anything eventually I will be exonerated I have faith in the American justice system and that sure sign that things are coming full circle on whatever happened to an innocent until proven guilty, well, he's about to find out and we know this must be true because the next thing we hear from him is that I just want to put this behind me and move on with my life.

I just want to put this behind me. That's an expression we hear a lot these days in all walks of life from people from all walks of life. Usually, the person in question has compromised someone. Spoken act, yes it's true, I strangled my wife, I shot the triplets, I set the house on fire and I sold my little boy to an old man on the train, but now I just want to say that's the problem in this country, with so many people getting along. their lives I think what we really need more of is their ritual suicide, you know, never mind the press conferences, take the big knife out of the drawer personally, what I want to do is leave this, I want to leave this behind and move on. my life behind me and get on with my life I'll repeat it for you personally I want to leave I want to leave this I want to leave this behind me and get on with my life behind me and get on with my life and just to complete this section, hopefully there's a special place in hell reserved for those who have recently decided to take responsibility for their actions, that is the most important thing, now take responsibility for their actions as if it were a recent discovery.

He is taking responsibility for his actions. Well, isn't it wonderful? Ask him if he is willing to take responsibility for my actions along with my alimony, car payments, and gambling debts. Now I continue with more complaints in more general

language

to forget the Washington angle for the moment. to mention America's love affair with euphemisms and euphemistic language, I think Americans have some difficulty dealing with reality and have invented a kind of soft language to protect themselves and their tendency to euphemize if that is a verb increases, it seems with every generation here is an example, there is a well known condition in combat when a fighter's nervous system has been stressed to the breaking point it means it broke or is ready to break in World War I that condition was known as shock simple, honest, direct language to syllables shock almost sounds like the weapons themselves, that was over 80 years ago, then a whole generation passed and in World War II the same combat condition was called fatigue battle four syllables now takes a little longer to say fatigue doesn't seem to hurt as much a nicer word than shock battle fatigue then we had Korea 1950 Madison Avenue was high and the same combat condition was called operational exhaustion now we have up eight syllables and the humanity has been completely squeezed out of the sentence, it's absolutely Barren operational exhaustion sounds like something that could happen to your car.

Finally, of course, there was Vietnam and, given the lies surrounding that war, I suppose it's no surprise that the same condition was called post-traumatic stress disorder, still eight syllables, but we've had it. – and the pain is now completely buried under the jargon of post-traumatic stress disorder. I would bet that if we had still called it shock, some of those Vietnam vets might have gotten the care they needed at the time they needed it but it didn't happen and one of the reasons, I'm sure, is because of that soft language, the language that It sucks the life out of life and continues to get worse over time.

I'll give you a few less. more but Lessing a dramatic example sometimes during my life toilet paper became toilet paper I was not consulted about this it just happened sneakers became running shoes moccasins became slip-ons motels became hostels motor trailers became travel trailers on-site travel plazas truck stops became travel plazas and used cars became previously owned means of transportation; Manicurists evolved into nail technicians around the same time that store clerks became product specialists and sales associates; employees became staff uniforms, they became professional attire; maids became room attendants and room service became meal information in guest rooms became directory assistance medicine became medication the landfill became a landfill gambling dens became in game centers living together living together reruns encore presentations forgive me monkey bars pipe-structure exercise units wife beating became intermittent explosives disorder and constipation became occasional irregularities rainforests and wetlands appeared existence because environmentalists discovered that people were not willing to give money to save jungles and swamps and all this happened in the last 30 years when I was young if someone got sick they went to the hospital they went to the doctor now health The maintenance organization sends them to a wellness center whereconsult a health care professional.

Poor people used to live in slums, now the economically disadvantaged occupy substandard housing in city centers and we can't really talk about euphemisms without mentioning that last taboo. Death used to be when an old man died, the Undertaker put him in a coffin and we sent flowers to the funeral home where they kept him awake and then after the funeral the dead man was taken in a hearse to the cemetery and his body was buried in a grave now, when an elderly person passes away, the mortician places them in a funeral container and we send floral tributes to the bedroom where the bereavement coordinator oversees the wake after the memorial service, the funeral carriage transports the department to the Garden of Remembrance where their remains are buried in their final resting place.

Some of this language may make you want to vomit, well maybe you'll engage in an involuntary protein bill now if all. This starts to remind you of so-called politically correct language or critical, politically correct speech. Excuse me, so you and I are on the same path, so let's visit that playground of guilty white liberals, the land of the politically correct of late. For years, PC people have found new ways to shade the truth to make people feel better, especially minorities. One of the newest phrases going around is that he happens to be black. I have a friend who happens to be black.

Oh me. Look, yes, as if it were an accident. You know, he happens to be black. Yes, it turned out this was black. I see, I see, I see that he had two black parents. Yes, that's right, two black parents. Yes, I see, and they had sex. Oh, actually, yes. I see. So where's the surprise part about Kamila? I think it would be more unusual if she was simply Scandinavian. Another recent favorite term. Favorite term is openly openly gay. I have a friend who is openly gay, but that's the only minority they used that on, you know? you wouldn't say someone is openly black, well maybe James Brown is or Louis Farrakhan Louis Farrakhan is openly black: Powell is not openly black Colin Powell is openly white, he just happens to be black and while we're at it, when was it made The word urban became synonymous with the word black.

I slept through all of this. Maybe bourbon. Styles. Urban trends. Urban music. I was not consulted about this at all again. I didn't receive an email. I didn't receive a fax. I didn't receive a postcard. Alright. they go, so I'd like to tell you how I handle some of these discourse issues related to minorities. First of all, I say black, I say black because most black people prefer a black. I don't say people of color because it's dishonest, it means precisely the same thing as people of color, which is an insult, so if you're not willing to say people of color, you shouldn't be willing to say people of color, and besides , the idea of ​​color seems a little misleading to me.

I mean, what should we do? Call white people colorless, this is not a pink color and in fact white people are not really white at all, they are different shades of pink and olive in beige, in other words they are colored and black people rarely They are black. I mainly see various shades of brown and ten and in fact some light skinned black people are a little darker than the darkest whites. B shades are lighter than darker whites. Look how dark people are in India. They are dark brown, but are considered white. Can I see the color chart?

Please, people of color. It is an awkward phrase that obscures the meaning rather than enhancing it. What should we call fat people? People of size. I don't say African Americans either. I find it cumbersome and confusing which part. from Africa, are we talking about Egypt? Egypt is in Africa, but Egyptians are not black, they are like people in India, they are dark brown white, but they are African, so why wouldn't an Egyptian citizen become Z I? Sorry, an Egyptian who becomes an American citizen can be called an African American. The same would apply to South Africa.

Suppose a white racist from South Africa becomes an American citizen. Couldn't he call

himself

African-American if only to be annoying? blacks and what happens to a black person born in South Africa who becomes a US citizen? Is he African American or South African American or just a South African American? Afro-American. You know, it's much more tedious to label liberals as liberals. It should be taught that labels divide people and I think we could probably use fewer labels, not more, now one more group. The Indians. I call them Indians because that's what they are. They are the Indians.

There is nothing wrong with the word, first of all, it is important I know that Indian that word probably does not derive from Colombia I think that Columbus believed that he had arrived in India in 1492 India was called Hindustan more likely the word derives from the description he made Columbus of the people he found here was an Italian who spoke very bad Spanish and in his written accounts he called the Indians a people in God of the people in God in God in God Indians are something perfectly noble and I simply cannot justify this uncomfortable phrase Native Americans first of all are not natives they came here from Asia the Bering Land Bridge, in fact there are no natives anywhere in the world, everyone is from somewhere else, all people are refugees, immigrants or foreigners, if there are natives in somewhere, they would have to be people who still live in the Great Rift Valley in Africa, so everyone is just visiting the natives so much as to call them Americans, well how can I say this?

We stole their hemisphere, destroyed 500 cultures, killed 20 million, stuck the rest in the worst land we could find, and then, as a special bonus, named them. after us it's embarrassing it's just embarrassing the truth is that most indians feel insulted by the term native american the american indian movement will tell you that if you want to please the indians try calling them by their traditional names pawnee mohawk navajo seminole and so on successively now just To round out this topic and to make you feel a little more uncomfortable, here are some more examples of tortured modern language designed to soften reality, make people feel good, and generally dress things up a bit.

Somewhere over the years, the word cripple has been lost. We no longer have cripples it turns out we never had them all this time they had physical problems it is an attempt to make people with physical problems feel better and how come this one has different abilities and if you insist on using people with different abilities then you should include us to all of us we all have different abilities each of us can do things that the other cannot do different things the word cripple is not a dishonorable word there is no shame in it jesus healed the crippled he did not participate in rehabilitation strategies for the physically disadvantaged and we So I have this ongoing problem with the word fat.

I use that term because that's what fat people are, they're fat, that's why we call them fat people, they're not big, they're not corpulent, they're not stocky, they're not chubby, they're not big-boned dinosaurs, they're not they are necessarily obese obese is a medical term and they are not overweight overweight implies that there is a correct weight there is no correct weight heavy is also a misleading term an aircraft carrier is heavy it is not fat just people are fat and that is what they are Fat people are fat, they are not exempt, they are not, for example, at a gravitational disadvantage.

I do not apologize for this, by the way, it is not intended as a criticism or a solution. simply descriptive language I am not comfortable with euphemisms I prefer to see things as they are not as some people wish they were dwarfs and dwarfs are dwarfs and dwarfs are not small people babies are small people elves are small people dwarfs and dwarfs are dwarfs and the dwarfs no longer grow up calling them little people. I wish their lives were different. I wish they didn't have to walk around looking at crotches all day, but I can't fix that and I'm not going to lie. about what they are there are some people who jokingly refer to them as vertically challenged and not vertically challenged the Flying Wallendas were vertically challenged the people who built the Empire State Building were vertically challenged there is no shame in midgets and midgets I'm a man for the digital and smoke-free millennium.

I have been entered, obtained, linked and downloaded. I have software on my hard drive and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond. I am returnable, factory authorized, fully equipped, built to last and I am definitely biodegradable. My output is down but my income is up I'm tanned, rested and market tested, user friendly and lactose intolerant, a diversified multicultural postmodern deconstructionist, I'm a rage junkie, edgy and high concept, and I have a son love you send me hate mail I'm an alpha male with beta blockers, a bottom feeder and the top gun, a Bigfoot Rainmaker.

I give soft money with cash and my income stream has a cash flow of its own. I'm ahead of the curve riding the wave and pushing the limits I'm on board, on message, but no drugs. I take power naps. I take victory laps. I have a personal trainer, a personal shopper and a personal planner. I'm a totally continuous no-brainer with proactive outreach I eat junk food I get junk mail I buy junk bonds I watch junk sports I've been stupefied with smart bombs I'm in denial I'm in recovery but I'm out of the loop also in the bubble a high-tech criminal anatomically green and politically incorrect an entry level man with no exit strategy low rent but high maintenance upscale but simple I bought a minivan with a microwave from a mega store in the mini mall I I have been to outer space I have been to outer space through of the Internet I am a non-believer and I am an emotionally private and market oriented achiever I have hard software because I use the F word and my email is old school new wave and if I am not at ground zero you can contact me on the starting point about genre specific, voice activated, capital intensive, heat seeking, faith based and work related, but I'm definitely not group oriented. online I'm online most of the time I'm offline I'm cocked and ready to rock hard and hard I put the pedal to the metal at the metal party and for me lunchtime is the moment of truth, thank you.

There really are already seven dirty words that are unacceptable as many of the original lists are now common in the media and what would you say is tipper gore? Seven dirty words, yes, those seven words of mine still hold up pretty well. pretty tough one of them the one that starts with the letter P and is four letters long can be used now depending on whether you use the preposition off after it's okay it's okay to get angry they say all the time just don't use it with the preposition follow it and and I would imagine I'm sorry, I would imagine Tipper Gore's seven bad words, well they could be more than mine, there could be seven raised to the seventh power, I really don't know, I'm sorry, could you comment? in seven words or so about the Internet Communications Decency Act, yes, here we go again, the original case that I was only peripherally involved in, it really wasn't my case, it was the FCC v.

Pacifica broadcast which was when this word indecency as far as I know first entered the legal lexicon which before that was an issue of something being obscene or not obscene and then they found indecent another small area to strictly restrict transmission. I think the Internet could be powerful enough and have qualities for it. that are vast and elusive enough that they will never be able to achieve it. I don't think, I don't think they do. You will understand it as well as a wordsmith and the author of seven dirty words, that losing restrictions on speech cheapens our cultural discourse no, I don't know if I could say that I think euphemisms are probably euphemistic language is more harmful there will always be taboos Linguistics in any culture there are aspects of our bodies that certain religions have as being put beyond the limits and those parts of the body that deal with those functions will always be something.

I think a little about this, if not in what correct band, I don't think it has cheapened our speech. I think it limits people. I always said. I enjoy using all the language with human beings invented through all this language and when I was little I was told to look for two police officers and two sports stars and to admire the military and we all know how they talk. We all know the language they use apparently hasn't corrupted them morally, so I think these words are overrated for their power. You mentioned the military. We have several questions about Kosovo.

Let me do them all together and see what you come up with.What are we doing in Kosovo? A war or something else? What advice would you give to President Clinton on solving the Kosovo problem and what is his reaction to a president evading the draft leading our UN forces in Kosovo, especially photos of him shaking hands with the troops? Well, first I must tell you that I take most of the public events and things that happen that I read avidly. I rather don't take them seriously. It's nice to see that they were up to that humanitarian blitz again and I used to complain about all of us.

Those who were once bombed were people of color and I have now had to revise that, although I imagine we have justified that the Serbs are far enough east of Western Europe to classify some semi-brown group. I really don't have much of an opinion. In this, I observed, I see that I see that this culture is going around the drain and in faster and tighter circles, and I just watch it and enjoy watching. I support the disappearance of this culture. I support the disappearance of this species. It just happens to be my hobby is to root for all these things to go away and give another species a chance, maybe I support the big comet, I support the big asteroid.

Honestly, I do and I did before those movies came out. Honestly, I think we just had to let someone else have it, the only thing there is now is the search for dollars in the search for the things that dollars buy and there is very little of core humanity left. It happens to work on an individual level. and on a small scale, on a large scale, everything is a human comedy, everything is a joke and I try to treat it as if I don't do much politics. I don't do current events on any of my shows.

I just don't think it's trivia, so I just go ahead and root for it all to go away. You have topics that are taboo and therefore not Joker material, for example, John Cleese He has commented that he would never joke about cancer. Well, I think that in the right context, if the comedian, the writer or the comedian prepares the context enough for the audience, they will go with it, depending on what you know, you can say that the most horrible things, as long as they are not say cold, as long as you prepare people and bring them.

I don't have any topic like that. I think these recent shoots in Littleton I felt really proud of myself because I had an existing piece. about this need to send in all these psychologists and after all these school shootings, the first thing we hear is that psychologists and psychiatrists grief counselors and trauma therapists have rushed to help kids cope. situation and I made the observation that we are They also told me at the same time that these children are killing each other because they are desensitized to violence, they have been desensitized, well, if they are desensitized, why do they need all this counseling?

And I was very happy to make that observation that night. of filming and the next night because I enjoy having the audience a little nervous and that's why I have no taboos. I don't talk about things that matter to me, so I usually prepare them in context. where they are acceptable to people who don't expect them and what I always do is meet people individually who might criticize it as a group. I always tell them well, I will give them a special dispensation because honestly I am in love and I enjoy people one by one and I see the universe in their eyes when I look at each person I can see something that I have never seen before is when they start to group themselves into groups that I'm starting to get offended. some spirit some experience with substance abuse, but now sober, what advice would you give to policymakers in this regard?

Well, I'm one of those who believe that taking the premium off of narcotics and other drugs that are illegal, would you know if there were if there were no profits, I think part of that problem would go away and I think nature has a way of weeding out those that they are not going to achieve it ultimately and I think it should be up to each individual whether or not. he will eventually make it mine to quit drugs and I was a cocaine fanatic, that was my weakness at the time. I saw it as a strength.

I guess the way I quit smoking was to just stop, but I didn't go to a program. I didn't join anything with steps or anything. I was lucky in that sense because I was able to reduce my consumption slowly. Same thing with alcohol, I just cut back slowly, less and less often and for shorter and shorter periods. until one day it just disappeared. I feel like there's too much reliance on people holding hands and wishing for things. I think you have to look and see the relationship between pain and pleasure. These things are It's always pleasurable when you start doing them and as time goes by the ratio of pain to pleasure changes and pretty soon it's mostly pain and very little pleasure and that's when the intellect should take over and say, you know this is kind of stupid and it's costing a lot that's what happened to me and I don't have a prescription public policy is not my area I would say that maybe legalizing these things would help us help the Darwinian side of things to order us all. where are the future side of George Carlin or Henny Youngman where you would know this is a strange thing, this is a career that is not chosen for itself, most people choose to get into comedy now too, especially to get their sitcom is a place to prepare.

Another step towards sitcom or movies or whatever. I went into this hoping to be an actor and hoping to be maybe something like Danny Kaye or Jack Lemmon and I found out that I couldn't act at all and I was forced to stay on the path and I figured out my life and as I I stayed on the path, I got better and better at what I did. I found that it was an honest trade and, in fact, that art was involved, I said well, art was a friend for many years, so why not? But I Without sounding pretentious, I like to point out that there is an artistic process involved in observing the world, interpreting it, and then writing something about it and interpreting it.

It is the lower end of the scale, perhaps in art it is not art, but it is art. and I discovered it and it gave me a purpose and it gave me some strength and a nice stay in my comedy because I found out it was a lot better than I expected. I act a little bit, but I love writing comedy and I'm delivering it so I don't know where the new ones are because they don't choose to do this for a lifetime beforehand, it happens that way or it doesn't and I'm happy that it happens to me that way, What should Al Gore do?

Calm down, I just want an observation about Al Gore. I think he will never be president because he pronounces the indefinite article as if to say there is a plan, we have a plan with a provision in the plan and there is a person who you know he is just. very, very unpleasant, I don't think the American people will tolerate that, can a candidate for president of the United States be funny and presidential at the same time? Well, Dole didn't make it and Stevenson didn't make it, and they had genuine humor, I mean, they had humor that came from within.

John Kennedy was as close as we could get to the perfect combination of a little wit and style and then the great power of the White House. Don't know. I think everyone is afraid of Bob Orban, right? They would know a little more about that. Having written things for many presidents, politicians and aspiring presidents and politicians. I think they're fun enough that they don't need to add anything. You've often talked to Larry about your Catholic upbringing on a more serious note. Have you found any lasting value in attending Catholic schools? I attended a rather strange school in the 1940s.

I attended a school that still exists in Corpus Christi in New York. York City and it wasn't a typical Catholic high school education, it wasn't a typical experience, on the one hand we had boys and girls together, we didn't wear uniforms, all the desks were mobile and there were no report cards, there were no grades or reports. cards of any kind we were right across the street from Teachers College at Columbia University where John Dewey had promulgated most of his theory and our past was a fan of John Dewey's educational approach and insisted that the nuns who taught us had master's degrees from secular institutions I didn't want them from Catholic universities I wanted those who had apparently been out at least in the world for a while and were wonderful there was no corporal punishment and it was a garden it was a place of that let me bloom I don't know what I would have done or how would have been if I had had that rigid discipline and, in fact, when I got to high school and I was confronted by the Irish Christian Brothers after I left these wonderful, kind Dominican nuns for the Irish Christian Brothers and I think they were instrumental in my leaving the school.

I left school after the night or Agnon in ninth grade sentimental, so I think the brothers and the Stern discipline were what helped abort my formal education. Do you have something good behind you? -the scenes stories about filming television series that girl with Marlo Thomas that's when I discovered that I couldn't act it was incredible for me I just thought it was a birthright I thought well, I do that's what I do now and I'll just be that , I'll just go and be that and I found all these extra things that you had to do. I had memorized my lines but now they tell me things like when you go down the stairs you remember the divorce. is in progress and the phone rings, it could be the lawyer, it could be your wife, keep that in mind and by the way, stay on the left side of the staircase and don't stand in its light when you get to the bottom and try to grab some of those lines are a little bit slower and if you could take your hand out of your pocket and then put it back there and turn it once, you just know I was a nervous wreck, I just did it wrong, I deserve it and that's the way it is. one of the things that drove me, nothing behind the scenes that I can remember, I'm lucky I remember.

What do you regret most about the sixties? Well, the 60s are a bit missed because it lasted until the early 70s and no. I don't really make it to the mid-60s, but what do I regret most about the 60s? Not much. I must tell you that I have had a fortunate life and I have had a very good life in terms of being able to live. I considered my dream as my childhood dream and the '60s were just another good decade for me. I have had many good decades and that was the one in which I went through my own transformation.

I was kind of what I consider. a mainstream comedian for about 5 years with some success on variety shows and top nightclubs and found I wasn't really happy, I was entertaining people who didn't care and had a lot of other things I wanted. to say it, it was the 60's that created that change for me it was because there was a counterculture that I said well, there is another audience, there are people who are a little rebellious like I feel I am and maybe I should entertain them, that is. what changed my life was then when the four gold records happened and that's when everything took off, so can I say a little negative about the 60s, a certificate of appreciation here for you, suitable for framing and right next to the National Rifle Association, wonderful. coveted National Press Club mug, okay, and for our final question, quick, where's Christina?

She should be ready for this. Actually, we are your birthday. Yes, okay, tell us how old you were: sixty. Thank you. We have a surprise for you.