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Weekend Update: Girl You Wish You Hadn't Started a Conversation with on the Coronavirus - SNL

Mar 17, 2020
WELL, THERE'S A LOT GOING ON RIGHT NOW. AND HERE, WITH HER THOUGHTS ABOUT EVERYTHING, IS THE GIRL YOU WISH YOU HAD NOT STARTED A CONVERSATION WITH AT A PARTY [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE MICHAEL IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK WELL YEAH WE HAVEN'T SEEN YOU IN A MOMENT . ALL THIS QDOBA VIRUS HAS BEEN REMOVED BY ABORTION, OKAY IT'S INEXCUSAMAL IT'S A RESPECTFUL INSULT SORRY THE WORLD HEALTH ORGANIZATION SAID THEY ARE OUT OF HAND SYNTHESIZERS? HE'S LIKE, HE PLAYS ANOTHER INSTRUMENT LIKE, SORRY MICHAEL DON'T YOU THINK THERE IS SOME MUSOTOMY IN CALLING IT A WOMEN'S VIRUS AND NOT A MAN'S VIRUS?
weekend update girl you wish you hadn t started a conversation with on the coronavirus   snl
NO, I THINK IT'S WUHAN. WUHAN. WOW, AND YOU ARE DOING THE VOICE. LET'S DO A SCIENTIFIC EXPERIMENT OK. ROYAL WHITE OPEN. I'M GOING TO PUT MY WHOLE HAND IN NO. MICHAEL, YOU NEED TO WAKE UP, OPEN YOUR EYES, EARS AND MOUTH. THEN I CAN PUT MY HAND NO. COLIN WOULD LEAVE ME. YES, BECAUSE I AM A FREAK. OKAY LET'S CHANGE THIS EVERYTHING IS RIBBED FOR NO ONE'S PLEASURE. IT'S LIKE EVERYONE'S SOCIALISM NOW BUT HOW DID THAT WORK FOR VUVUZELA LOUD SORRY I'M NOT JUST FOLLOWING ALL THE OTHER LEPERS AND JUMPING OFF A CLIFF. YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND, MICHAEL, THERE ARE NEWBORN BABIES WHO CANNOT EVEN READ OR WRITE WHILE IT'S LIKE THE BRAZILIAN RAIN FOREST IS BURNING.
weekend update girl you wish you hadn t started a conversation with on the coronavirus   snl

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weekend update girl you wish you hadn t started a conversation with on the coronavirus snl...

IT'S LIKE, YEAH, IF YOU KEEP WAXING IT'S GOING TO BURN WELL, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK IS THE SOLUTION? WHY WE HAVE A TWO PARTY SYSTEM WHY WE CAN'T HAVE A PARTY. AND ALL THAT DO NOT MISS THE OTHER. GIVE HOMO TO EVERYONE YOU MEAN FOMO SINDA. SINDA. THAT'S MY FRIEND SINDA WE'RE SUPPOSED TO GO TO A JOE BIDEN RALLY LATER AND LIKE ACCESS HER WIFE. [ALERT SOUND WHAT? OH I JUST PAIRED WITH MOHAMMAD BIN SALMANARIA. LISTEN THE POINT IS PEOPLE ARE SICK OF THE HYPOCRISY MICHAEL MAYBE STOP WATCHING THE 28/7 CABLE NEWS AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING LIKE WHAT I'VE FOUND A LOT OF TIME WITH JOAQUIN PHOENIX I RECENTLY WROTE HIS SPEECHES FOR THE OSCARS , THE GOLDEN GLOBES AND THE NAMBLAS MAYBE STOP LETTING COWS FLY PRIVATE PLANES TO PALM SPRINGS OH SO WHAT SO JOHN JUNIOR CAN LIKE RUN THE TRUMP COMPANY?
weekend update girl you wish you hadn t started a conversation with on the coronavirus   snl
BUT HUMPER BIDEN CAN'T WORK AS A BARISTA? THAT'S NECROPHILISM, MICHAEL JUST TELL US ONE PRACTICAL THING YOU WANT PEOPLE TO DO. I DON'T KNOW, WHAT IF YOU STOP WORRYING ABOUT TOUCHING YOUR FACE AND START TOUCHING BEHIND YOUR MOUTH NO. JUST STOP PLAYING - EVERYONE IS, LIKE, SO SENSITIVE. IT'S LIKE, WHAT, JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A HIGH FEVER AND I'M COUGHING ALL THE TIME, AND I HAVE DIARREAKA, LIKE, DOES THAT MEAN I SHOULD NOT GO OUT? YES YOU SHOULD NOT BE HERE WELL WHAT IF I WEAR A MASK? WELL, THAT'S AT LEAST BETTER. BUT -- [ LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE OH MY GOD, PARTY GIRL, EVERYONE.
weekend update girl you wish you hadn t started a conversation with on the coronavirus   snl
DO NOT BOARD THIS TOM CRUISE SHIP FOR THE "WEEKEND UPDATE", I'M MICHAEL CHE. I'M COLIN JOST. GOOD NIGHT [ VIDEO AND APPLAUSE ♪

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