UNHhhh Ep 81: "Personal Hygiene" with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova

I think we should do a political episode where we both wear all purple and we can call it making America great again Fanta Fanta, don't you want to want to? and I do Fernando. I think my favorite Abba song would be taking a risk, without a doubt. Mine is um, oh my gosh, look, I look like in Norm's journey, what people are like, how you open a jar of Jell-O, my kind of theme, I need just because your teeth are white doesn't mean they're whiter. healthy, no, they're white because you're dead inside and empty like a shell look white and empty like a shell okay, this person hello, I'm that golden retriever who used to shoot basketballs but then lost his leg and now he's dead Trixie Mattel and I'm so stupid that she won Don't close the house yet and welcome, let's talk about whatever we want because it's our child and not yours, so what are we talking about

personal

hygiene

?

Personal

hygiene

. So I would have a mostly one-sided conversation about

personal

hygiene. Okay, because this. It's more of an intervention for you. Are you finally going to take a pickaxe to the thick crust? That's two verbs. You can throw your entire body in the washing machine with your clothes. Do you know what I've thought about hiding in the washing machine like one of the? you know, those stackables, oh well, people with people you know, uninvited guests, there's a lot of that, so drag is disgusting and disgusting. Oh, have you ever worked on a drag show where, for example, the show director has to hang like a public service announcement that's like Queens, Please Go On? your stinker stinked at a low level or they'll ask you not to perform on the show because i've worked with queens i smell like cat pee balls did you ever get in the shower way we can put a hairnet on you oh girl i've had days just for the day I was in costume all day and I have a few hours between the evening and the afternoon and the morning commitment, so I went home and did it, you will take this shower and Greg Noyes, safe at home, oh yeah, I used to do it .

Do the after show of him before the trick so he could continue with the outfit. I imagine your bony limbs with a touch of Turbie and I think the song playing is like nothing compares to you and pushing Nate O'Connor and I think you're sitting cross-legged with a cup of coffee with nothing on a computer Dell HP type desktop like opening your mail and you're examining the headless torsos of people's parents in Boston very close very close high collar dress straight to the floor, it's full, but I like these guys to come up and say yeah and you're like a monk, no, they get it, but they have, you know, the crotch always has cutouts like a bump. a-mole you have the areas that need to be exposed or exposed.

I know this is the funny thing. I'd go in the shower and instantly pull my wig up, you know, like in a banana clip or whatever, and then I realized it wasn't coming down. I could have taken it, but I felt like a child. I believe in hygiene. I like to take two showers a day and a bath, yes, and I bathe every other day. It is a full bathroom. blow bath where I sit in bath water up to my neck for an hour, mile an hour. I like candles, okay Duke, no, no, how do you take it easy?

No, and water, no, you don't. Oh, you want to know, buddy, and check one. for yes, two for no and three if you want, but you are the Wicked Witch of the West and you die, it's too much resistance. I'm not looking for a weight shaking situation, I'm not looking to tread water, just maybe you could, um you. I know you might know, maybe if you had jets in your bathtub. I want to have that feminine experience. I would like a boy to have hygiene, but not too much. I'm not looking to go to the city because of your pollution and be like vo5, but I see you.

I know I want you to want to soak, yeah, well, because I live, welcome to the stage, so the experience I don't like, um, eating, but that's dirty, yeah, I don't, I don't want visitors, but I like you. I know I would like some I would like to be able to take a sample I would like to be able to identify a body, okay, the natural, any natural aroma or whatever forms on the way to my house afterwards. a full shower, yeah, like there's a waiter that said guys always say my taste like a penny that means blood that means blood Penny's bad blood Oh what's up what's her Penny it's me, but have you ever had hemorrhoids?

I really do not know. What are there in number and you take small pieces of thread and wrap them around the hemorrhoids. Her mornings, wait a minute, have you ever had a bowel movement that was really hard to pass and then you cleaned it up and it was just because I? I'm going to miss it a lot, sometimes you have to push it out of the nest, nest email, so you clean it up and then there's blood, yeah, oh yeah, well that's part of what makes sex so dangerous. There is a certain amount of risk involved.

There is a certain amount of knowing that breaking your porn would mean there would be blood. I'd like to become one of those gays who has a career throwing soda and water bombs being like a bath bomb, that's me trying to SH in the bathroom, okay that's a bath. bomb I have a cat sitter no I'm not coming home let's go back you don't have one I was in school I used to do pedicures oh you hate feet that's right I just don't like people like me. that, but pedicures are the extreme home hygiene change, you know, I imagine your feet are the big toe, the size is maybe half an inch and then for the other four toes, just a little baby , but they are not bad, let's delve deeper. like I thought, trash, oh that's nice, they're pretty good, it's got a perfect lake, you've got a perfect slope, did you ever get an ingrown toenail infection, no, I mean, I'm lucky, I guess you haven't lived, oh, this It's disgusting, almost never.

Wash my hands, ah, I have to be there with you, lie to me, sometimes it's a theatrical experience like I know someone else is in the bathroom, I mean, of course they wanted me, but at certain times, like when I'm dressed as a woman . and like, I feel like my nails are going to fall off, what am I supposed to do? Yeah, also Mike is probably the cleanest thing on my body, I mean, he's a piece of cake, do I have to tell you what he was doing, press on a certain specialty? press release I did an article and sat down to pee because they didn't drag me out, so I pulled down my socks and everything and peed my pants so hard that I later realized that none of the people in the bathroom went to the bathroom. bathroom. in front of the toilet bowl, down the leg of my stocking, down my Pamela Anderson heel, and when I finished peeing I was sitting in a pool, you could have electrocuted me and I'm grabbing a paper towel and I'm on my knees stopping.

So I walk out of the bathroom and I see someone in the hallway and the first thing I say is someone peed on the bathroom floor because what I'm saying is the only thing you can do is accuse someone else, that's true. I melt back into the landscape, so I enter the back of the shoe with only one leg covered with the mask of Trixie Mattel perfume. This is still soaking wet, yeah, and I just had to compromise, just be careful when you're peeing. make sure you're really in the bathroom about what i pee now. I only understand the hygiene thing.

Try not to urinate on yourself. You should wash your hands at least for posterity, yes, and don't believe that about the first freshness of the bathroom. The day on your face will lighten your skin. Have you seen the video of the woman who drinks and bathes in her own urine as a cure for cancer? Mom, that was my quick side note once I was on a long trip, this was before the drag race. I was driving my 2008 smart car down the highway in Wisconsin and I had to pee and I took out a Gatorade bottle, yeah, and I went to pee in it, yeah, and I totally missed a hole and I had to get out and use the floor mat to remove.

I got out of the car and then another time I successfully peed in the Gatorade bottle and then forgot that I peed in the game bottle and took a sip. No, yes, I did. I can't, I forgot about this. I'm sitting. all these stories are because I try to be like them, the hierarchy here and now you're more disgusting than me, that's true anyway, we never did an episode about waiting so I guess it'll all come out now, hygiene, yeah, hygiene, hygiene, that's fun, roommates. Oh, owners, rentals, piece rentals, I want a goose that will put in gold the first thousand a day.

I once had an owner and she walked with a heavy iron, oh I guess I let the ball on my feet hit the ground and so she always would. come yell at me cause she would say I can hear you walking up the stairs every day but she was under you yeah and she said I walked too hard she was like you're up here stomping cause you're trying to be mad I'm not mad you just go somewhere you got my feet I guess flat butt Oh, his name is Deborah and I remember one time he was on a date, I had that date at my house, I remember one time he went up knock-knock, wait, his name is Deborah, Thanks no, her husband's name was her husband's, yes, my first owner's name was lazy in the middle.

I love it, yeah, lazy in the middle, and remember I was moving in with my boyfriend. They were both about 18 years old and he. Well, you know, when people are young and stay together, they break up, they still have to pay the lease and I remember we were in love, how dare you? And you see we broke up.