The Funniest Greg Davies' Moments on The Graham Norton Show

that scene in episode one, the doctor thing, yes, that really happened, yes, my mom will kill me for telling this because they were my uh uh, our family doctors and I, he had been our family, my doctor since I was a kid but I went like an adult because I was, something's wrong with my butt when you said bum you looked me right in the eyes I'm sorry I'm turned on and I said something's wrong with my butt and he went fine and I went So what do you think? He's doing well, he'll probably be fine, and I said, Well, I'd really like that.

I would like you to do it. If you could make me feel better, if I feel better, everything will be okay. He said, um, it'll probably clear itself up and I said yeah, but is there any way to know for sure? And he said: Oh, you want me to put my finger up there, don't you know if it's not magically necessary and the other one? I think maybe there's a reason, but what's the reason you filmed it at the school you used to teach at? I think it's therapy. I'm probably in the classroom where I'm speaking because I just wanted to keep the topic real. teacher for a long time, yes, I taught for six years at the school, we filmed it in the classroom I'm going crazy in and that's very good, that was my class, yes, but you did it, did you ever enjoy it?

There was a time when you thought, "Oh, I like this, I don't know, okay, look, I met some really nice people there and the kids must have liked you, you were nominated for teacher of the year, weren't you? Yeah, I did." I was". Great, yeah, you know, yeah, I've told this story many times. Teacher of the Year is a very prestigious award that the working teaching community takes very seriously and rightly so and my principal called me and was laughing his head off. He couldn't stop laughing for the first 10 minutes and said, I said, why did you call me?

Here goes, have you been, um, have you been known, I have this, the teacher of the year awards have been nominated and I said, oh, okay, and it was written by a very sweet girl called Gemma, who I have put down many times. and it's a six-page document that people have to fill out to explain the reasons why you should be nominated for teacher of the year. It was blank. from a sentence she had written, which was one of the reasons why you think he should be teacher of the year and she had written that he is a lot of fun and that he doesn't force us to work, just recently we were at a party the bbc

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ed us that glass of wine, it was fun between us and we met that lovely lady.

Oh, I'm surprised you mention that lady. Can we mention that lady? Well, tell me what your program is. Well no I don't know but it happened to you not me so tell them what's okay this lady came up to us we're at a BBC party she came to the tour we were chatting sharing our straws of wine and she went, I did. disability on the bbc, whatever that means and then she looked at it and what did she say to you, well she said I qualify and it was an exaggeration, it wasn't good, what a challenge since we had that meeting when the lady told me that I he was Technically, as far as the BBC was concerned, disabled.

I had a council member. Do not know where. Tell me I could get a parking card. The rest of the couch is so jealous right now. Parking pads. Thanks for that, I won't do it. I forget the day Ryan Gosling high-fived me because I'm officially disabled. It seems that the school trip is when all the rules go out the window for the students, everyone and for the teachers. I think so, I think you have to remember when I started. teaching I was 21 21 years old, you know, and you said I was sent to Paris on a school trip, three of us, all of us in our twenties, in charge of a bus full of children, I mean, it's downright amoral, is it? what did you do?

Get up, you know it's horrible, I can say it now. I'm never going to teach again now. And I got really drunk with two friends in a hotel room when the kids were all in bed, like we were really drunk. a bottle of tequila between the three of us and um then I heard the kids running around it's so bad isn't that your kids running around and I'm pretty good at pretending to be sober when I'm not so I said I'll do it. I'll go out and deal with this with my friend Tony, who's still a teacher.

Hi, I walked out and there were these 90 year old kids in their pajamas, all laughing and I walked out of what's going on here. Sorry, sorry, sorry, I said you should be in your room, it's absolutely embarrassing and I was doing a beautiful job when Tony came out of my room and I don't know why he was just in his boxers, a really big pair of pants. the boots start to make a sound like that you should be in bed and I grabbed him by the face he was so scared I grabbed him by the face I just pushed him into my room I closed the door one of the boys went, it's Mr.

Stephen, yeah, he's not there. . Feeling very good, I accepted it. You are quite a romantic man, right? I gave up. The romance stopped for me when I was 22 when I bought a girlfriend when I came back from university, so my parents had a really nice garden and they were far away, so I thought this is perfect, we'll go sit in the garden and I made you a picnic. I took some food, not pig nipples, but they hadn't been introduced to me yet. I think there's some food out there and in the sun and there was grass and sun and one thing led to another I love that line she was wearing it was very romantic I don't want to go into details I don't want anyone to mention her pig nipples but um, she had a long flowing skirt and she sat on top of me and things started to look like a toilet roll holder, yeah a bit like that, yeah okay, like a really romantic bathroom, so she was there and it was really romantic and the breeze and lovely and and I thought, well, this is incredible, this is one of the most romantic things that has ever happened between two people, then my grandfather came around the corner, honestly, I'm not making up and he I had never met her before, so she came over, hello.

Also she couldn't get off because it was happening and you could see him thinking that she is very rude to both of them. It's a very separate room because he's never met her before. Surely you should stand up. He couldn't, so it was a complete fight. 15 minutes oh yeah, with her like that, I mean, that's not Vince. I wish Liam would fall in love with her. My grandfather had a polite conversation. That was the day I gave up on the romance that would end the romance. Yeah, okay, here we go, so I hit that. Yes that's fine.

Don't talk this afternoon. What happened? Be quiet. Do you have any advice because you wear high heels? Should I take it off? No, I'm not sure we're taking this very seriously. He is talking to me. I mean, there is no progress yes. You want to take them off, whatever it is, you weren't even thinking about running, so Rachel, do it, no, no, no, don't take your shoes off, yeah, I just hit like a girl in these, yeah, so competitive that slippery, right? left or right handed, uh, right, right, so you know, right leg back, so you actually get the whole right leg back and the goal is to just hit it so it goes away, you do that, you go boom and it comes back up, OK?

Honestly, mine was so bad, so let's see what Rachel gets and then I'll decide if I'm going to do it. Yes, you get a score, you get a score, you have to score with your left leg forward, yes, yes, are you in range? you're in range, I don't know, I should find out, it's just go a little bit, go a little bit because you want to remember that your goal is to get through the bag, so I want to go like this, yeah, I like it, just hit it in the middle, come on, okay, here we go, here we go, okay, we got what I need two 182 to beat 182 I love it does it terribly when you don't care and then yeah, yeah, can't I just look at it? down and he's the one who laughs first, right, um, okay, oh, here we go, here we go, here we go, wow, okay, what was yours? eight, I think it was three thousand, that was six, seven, two, was that what six, seven, two, six, three, two, so if not?

Don't beat that hard, I mean, look at this, okay, okay, here we go, here we go, this same technique, the world champion, were you channeling the god of love when you took this gorgeous photo? That is incredible. Do you think I look magnificent? Yes, I think it's beautiful. I can put that on my posters. Personally I think I look trivial. I saw my two nieces this weekend who just left and are six and two and the first things they both said to me before. Hello, the first niece. Uncle Greg said, we can't talk about your fat belly anymore and then it was a moment and the three year old said, you're fat, this is the best, pure honesty, we're taller, we're taller, yeah, it's okay, it's okay and now maybe he'll

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up to get us in the mood you have to say the mood uh ken brown is going to give us uh just a little bit of shape before we do this okay make your face make your face come on come on Well come on , ladies and gentlemen on the left, they call him the postman because he always delivers.

He is the undisputed world heavyweight champion. Anthony Joshua. How does he look? Because sometimes he delivers unless he gets stuck in traffic. This is Greg Man Mountain. David, so here we go, here we go, so ah, yeah, you go first, ah, well that's not that heavy, I thought it was going to be heavier, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, first, you go for it, keep the cameras in mind, here we go, it's all golf, oh dear, thank you. you come