Keith Eats Everything At Burger King

- In 1953 a restaurant chain was born. It would grow to have 15,000 locations in 100 countries, and in 1953, in a small town in Florida, it was born as Insta

burger

King. A year later it would be called Burger King. (real music) Today I'm eating

everything

at Burger King, America's second favorite

burger

restaurant. (driving music) Burger King and Jack in the Box have cornered the market by scaring their consumers into buying their food. Especially Burger King, they had that silent demon mascot for so long. It was like loo

king

through the windows and it was scary. (woman screams) I've eaten three fast food menus, so this is number four.

At this point, I'm probably 90 or 95% vegan, so I'm going to keep ma

king

this video because I want to see how that affects me now. Now that I'm healthy, how much do these unhealthy things hurt me? Here we are at Burger King, let's order too much food and send it back. Let's start with breakfast; the pancake platter and the double croissan'wich, the fully loaded croissan'wich, the king croissan'wich, a rodeo king, a crispy chicken sandwich, fries, hash browns, onion rings, yes, I'll take the tacos. That's it, that's all I need. Thank you very much, I really appreciate it.

I feel like I'm breathing in calories. Can you feel it? - It's like heavy - It's heavy air. In fact, I'm going to eat the fries right now because fries obviously have a very short shelf life. I want to give them the best chance, because you know Burger King's fries are unremarkable. Wow, they're not good. It smells like Funyun. I mean it tastes a little like Funyun. But it's much better than French fries. I love the little hash brown discs, I have nothing to complain about it being a good hash brown, can I have another hash brown? - Yes of course.

I trained for today by getting a little drunk at Buffalo Wild Wings last night (trumpet blaring). Let's start with the coffee, it smells good. (sips coffee) It's not good. This is just an egg and cheese croissan. It's great, the cheese and egg are very balanced, I'd say it's a top-notch breakfast sandwich. It is a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit. Fuck yeah, that's a buttery cookie. This is bacon, sausage, I don't know what the fuck that is, it's ham. Oh Lord! It's every flesh. The cookie breakfast, screw me fully loaded (laughs). Sometimes less is more, I know kings rarely say that, but sometimes less is more, and this is more.

This is much more, three or more pigs. Let's give these pancakes. To me, this is proof that those sandwiches that are all of these things together are much better than individual ones. The double croissan'wich, I can feel the heartburn knocking on my door. They are French toast sticks, very sweet, almost like a churro. It's cake, it's fried cake. It's not bread, it's cake. Wow, that's amazing. Isn't this the same? Isn't this the triple triple that pisses me off? Oh, it's the croissan that pisses me off triple. It's better than the cookie. This is bacon, sausage, fuck.

Burger King should do what KFC is doing and just make weird non-food products. The Burger King air freshener. This is what I expect a king to eat. Two eggies, two sausages, two cheeses and two pieces of (smell) sourdough toasted with butter. All this is too much, too much. Only my mouth is tall enough to do this, who is your market? Look at the little penis next to this cabin, that's not a silo, that's a penis, they got you Burger King, your graphic designers put a penis in. Oh, these are the funnel fries. It turned into chewing gum.

So that's breakfast, now I know people have been worried about food waste, you know, I only had one bite of each of these things. So we'll show you pictures of our employees eating the food. (laughs) - It's so soft - Oh my God, they're so bad. (trumpet blaring) - We have all the burgers they have here, but we actually forgot two things from breakfast, so we'll finish them quickly. That's the first oops (burps). This is the fully loaded burrito, and this is the baby loaded burrito. It's good, yes, that bite was great. I mean, look how many gobs of cheese are in there, it looks like a rat got in there or something.

Look at the little baby. This is the number one breakfast item at Burger King, it's great because you get all the flavor of the innards without the extra oil and fat of the croissant or biscuit. It has a really good texture, I think this keeps the moisture throughout the meat and ingredients much better than the other stuff because it's nice and soft and chewy. I think this is going to get the first double bite. It's time to be the king of burgers. I already have my trusty cube, it's back. Hello. What does it say? Well, I'm going to be making buckets all day (laughs).

I bet he moves the K (laughs). Here we go, bucket, bucket king. This is it, this is probably what they started with, like McDonalds, it looks exactly the same. But they are fire-roasted burgers, I've always loved that about Burger King. I don't like fried burgers, I like grilled burgers. - Flame roasted We do it like you do it and we do it like we would at Burger King. - Definitely too much bread here it's a bucket burger. Let's try the cheeseburger, it tastes exactly like a cheeseburger. Oh. Now, the bacon cheeseburger, I mean, it has a little more bacon flavor, you can spend another 30 cents and that changes it a little bit, but why?

Let's eat this damn thing, this is a King Burger, this could be Lord Burger. That's why the rodeo burger is known for its bacon, two beef patties, barbecue sauce, and onion rings. Yes. Do you want to see how big this beef burger is? Onion rings flavor - excellent, barbecue sauce flavor - excellent, meat flavor - a little too much, but the buns don't overshadow anything here, you can't even taste the bread. It could also be wrapped in beef. Its sweetness means it doesn't taste like other burgers, so I'll leave it there for now. Oh, it's so wet at the bottom of this.

Burger King has tacos (bell rings). They are crispy like a hamburger, but underneath they are soft like tacos. I think it's a chopped burger, that's what I would make if I was running the restaurant chain. (crunch) Good crunch. It's not a taco, but it's good. So what they sell is a beef product, which is nothing like hamburgers, so it's unique, it's a new offering. It made me sweat a little. The girls are going to eat the taco. Alright, this is SBK, the king of spring break. Sourdough Bacon King, yes you did it right. Too much bread, but the sauce, onion and bacon together are actually very good.

This sourdough bread is garbage, Burger King get it out of here. Just use your buns, your buns are great. OMG, the mustard. Oh, this is the double quarter pounder. A staple at McDonalds, they're like we stole it. Make the burger I want, it's mine. I'm Burger King. It just tastes like a grown up version of your basic burgers, so this guy is a bucket. Going into the bucket (burps) Oh my God. Big king XL, I'll be honest, it looks like a complete car. He's not just a burger king, he's a bacon king. Fuck tons of ketchup and mayonnaise (laughs).

So much meat that tastes like the rest. The king of double sourdough is a lot of meat. It's perfect timing, which means it's Becky's time. Everyone welcome to the stage Becky Habersberger. Welcome Becky - Yes, thank you, thank you - How are you my beautiful wife? - I'm fine, I'm a little hungover so I thought this would be fun. - Yes, I brought you for whoppers because whoppers are a star dish at Burger King, and you are like my signature. - Okay - You might notice that there is a scale on the table, this is because I have a theory that I am going to test right now.

Boom boom, it's Shane Dawson. Oh Lord. So the whopper weighs three hundred and twenty-seven grams and costs five dollars and ninety-nine cents for the junior whopper, which is one ninety-nine and weighs one hundred and sixty-five grams. With the price of a huge amount, you could buy three huge juniors and that would equal approximately 480 grams. Much more food, same price, same flavors. They are trying to get us to pay more for this, even though it is the best deal. Okay, let's try this, Lady and the Tramp, anyone? Whopper is my favorite fast food burger, so it will live here.

Let's try the junior whopper, take a bite first because it's very small. I'll try to find you the place with the least mayonnaise. - Why don't you take off your top bun? -Euf - That's bad, dry. - I'd say the bread overpowers this a bit, so you should probably buy three junior buns, remove the top buns, and squish them all together into a ball. Put them in your mouth and be happy. And I think it will go to the bucket. These are the two meat sausages, with the little pieces on top, very good. I also eat upside down so my tongue finds the flavor before the meat. - That's disgusting - Yes, that's too much meat Oh my god!

This burger looks soaked in blood. I thought they had just put a human organ between the buns. (slurping sounds) - Ohh - Tastes like eating barbecue sauce. But it's a different flavor profile, so it won't go into the bucket. The king of bacon, look at these tomatoes too, it just sticks out like a tongue. - Blehh - Doesn't that seem pretty publicity-worthy? It's probably the prettiest burger we've had all day. It has that problem that Taco Bell lettuce has, where it tastes weird. Then we learned that so many burgers taste pretty much the same. These are the four burger profiles they offer, a whopper with a lot of barbecue, a regular burger with a lot of barbecue, a burger with frisco sauce and a traditional whopper.

Let's move on to some chicken, thanks Becky - It tastes funny when you go from beef to chicken - Mhmm - It's kind of a weird transition - Let's start with the fish (laughs) It's been a long journey since it was swimming. I don't know why you order this sandwich at Burger King. And to help me get started on chicken, I'm bringing along my long-time best friend, Marc the shark, Businsky. Let me get you a chair-Oh yeah-Careful Marc, come back Marc-Oh, I'm watching-You may have seen Marc in a few videos here and there, obviously he was one of my groomsmen. -I come from Burger King, I buy chicken and I think it's great. - Fried chicken, we're going to try all the sauces here, we have sweet and sour, honey mustard ranch, spicy garlic, I think, buffalo sauce and barbecue.

We will try all of this on the different chickens we are testing. This is fun for kids, because kids like to pretend that they love cigarettes. - I did it constantly with Pretzel Logs. - Of course I do - Hey Jimmy, do you want to go get me some chicken fries? - Yes, I'll bring you something from Jimmy. What is one word to describe fried chicken? - Sticky - Oh shit, look at this - Wow - Hold the fucking phone - Just for the finger appeal alone, this feels better than fried chicken. - It's like a high-heeled boot. - Pretty much

everything

I want in a chicken nugget. - Actually? - Yes, having a lot of crunch feels for the most part like a real tender. - Mhm, how is the spicy taste? - Oh, pretty weird, if you had a lemon and then rubbed it on a mop bucket. - It's so much better than fried chicken, I know people are raving about fried chicken, these chicken tenders destroy their dicks. - Well, we have the nugget, what is your description in a few words of the chicken nugget? - Chalky - Look how fine it is.

Leave it for Marc (applauding) Here's the junior chicken, it's a junior chicken. Fuck that. We have a chicken sandwich, it tastes like pork, although I like it a little. It looks like salmon, why is it orange? This is the crispy chicken club. This is great, it's very fatty, it's very luxurious, the crunch of the chicken is really great. The bacon goes well with the flavors, the cheese is good, it's a balanced chicken sandwich. (burping) Fried chicken sandwich. It's very disappointing, I don't know what this is called, it's probably like a fucking rodeo chicken sando or something.

What is it? Is it cheese? What is it? (screaming) Oh, it feels horrible, it feels like jelly. Let's eat this, let's eat this junior chicken. This is oh I hated this when it was spicy so I don't think I'll like it this way. No. Oh, this is the one with onion rings. Wait, no, that's an onion ring. It is? - Yes, there is - Oh, I thought there was fish in the cheeseburger - I don't want to try it - Sweet, salty, meaty, crunchy, it has it all. And this one also has something strange going on.

What is it? Especially when it comes to the chicken, it seems, but there were mostly women working and this looks like male ejaculation. And they couldn't have ejaculated all over these sandwiches, no one can cum that much. Alright everyone, it's time, you've been asking for Korndiddy time. - Hi, thank you, thank you - Ba ba ba ba ba bam bah - Thank you - Zach Kornfeld - I'm so excited to be here Keith, I was a Burger King kid through and through. I feel like there's a turf war on the playground. Definitely. - Were you Team McDonalds or Team BK - Definitely. - I'm a BK guy. - Let's start with the veggie burger. - Yes, let's start. - Okay, here we go. - The consistency is horrible (laughs) - It has whole vegetables inside - Well, that's good. - I mean it's actually reliable - That's good, it's real, you can see that there is, although I hate that it isyou have investigated.

You like to scratch yourself with your finger, that's it, this is horrible. - Wrap it up again for the girls. - Are you going to make them eat this now? - No no no, they want to eat it. - Oh my - The spicy chicken sandwich, it's one of those that dances on your tongue as it sits. I'd say it's a pretty good chicken sandwich. - It's pretty good. - This is it, this was my childhood right here, wow, it seems much smaller. The chicken sandwich. Too much bread. Damn butter dough again. I think this just needs something. - Something to compensate for the salt.

It's like the ocean drowned a chicken and then you found it a year later and licked it. - Very good, goodbye Keith. - Goodbye Zach, thanks for stopping by. You can dump it, thank you, watch the bucket, you can take the chips, yeah, whatever you want. Everyone welcome to the stage Eugene Lee Yang Ba ba ba ba ba ba (applauding) - Do you want me for salads? What the fuck happened here Keith? It's so unpleasant. Let's have some salads Eugene. This is grilled chicken salad. Oh, and that's that chicken that looks like salmon. - You can see the fat accumulating in your eyeballs. - What do you think of the taste? - Mm, chicken helps - It tastes like cat food - How do you know what cat food tastes like? - This is the Chicken, Bacon and Cheddar Sandwich Salad. - Let's see how this tastes, no, I think I prefer other fast food salads. - Are you OK?

Where did he go? - I'm just taking a little nap. - Oh my God, well - There's only one - Are you done? - No, the only thing I have left are your fair desserts. (rock music) M&M's vanilla shake, of course. Very satisfying after all the oils and salt I've had, my body is like this, it's incredible. So I think this is a hot fudge sundae. It's good. Yes, ayeeeeeeeee mini cini. Let's eat this nightmare, maybe this was at the bottom of the chicken. It's like eating a manila folder. And I think everyone wants to know what this Twix cake is all about.

Ice cream, peanut butter mousse, chocolate chips, it's a very mousse-based cake. In fact, I would really recommend this. And all the girls say I'm too good for apple pie. Let me tell you which dessert ending gives you that sugar power to go all the way. Probably 20 tablespoons of sugar in my system and I'm ready to kill someone. The apple pie was good, a little too soft and a little too sweet. They're no better than the stuff in the freezer section of the supermarket, except maybe this. This is actually pretty good. So that's it for dessert, we ate everything from Burger King, now what do I think is the best and what do I think was the worst? (real music) Obviously I have to hand it over to the whopper, the whopper is perfection, it's still my favorite thing.

I didn't really like any of the chicken sandwiches. But the chicken strips were good. The worst thing I ate was that little spicy chicken sandwich. Fuck off. There was no meat, everything was breaded and then there was more bread, there was that horrible mayonnaise and that horrible mysterious substance that maybe it was butter, maybe it wasn't at the bottom of all the chicken. That sandwich could go to hell. I still like Burger King, I just think they're overreacting. I think they need to downsize, they don't need all that meat, but I'll be making this a few more times this month, I hope you enjoy it.

I'm Keith, I ate the menu, see you next week. (drums) That's what everyone is tweeting, they're trying to be very original with their fucking trash joke with some commentary. - Do you want to hug him? - No, i do not do it. Fetch, keep looking at me. I prefer dogs to babies. (driving music) - All I see is cinnamon swirls, baby.