Rodney Dangerfield on the Tonight Show

what crow, what CR, I'm telling you, I'm telling you, I'm fine now, but last week I was in bad shape, you know, I mean, last week I bought a swirl of my F, so far I lost three of my best boats , OK? The week nothing went well. I bought a waterbed, there were two Cubans swimming in it looking for Florida. I'm telling you, people are crazy. You know my dentist. Another beauty from my dentist. She found a new way to hide the bad breath from her. arms, I tell you, I mean, it's the Three Wise Men, well, my check at the hotel I asked the bellhop to handle my bag, he started feeling up my wife, I told him, I told him, hello, friend, who told me that you could play with my wife?, he said that all me.

Tell my wife I can never relax. You know, I told him our son is spoiled. She told me that many children smell like that. She is also a terrible cook and she doesn't know how to cook. She left dental floss D in the kitchen. Cockroaches hang themselves. wife, she doesn't go for me either. I'm not a handsome guy. Well, Halloween I open the front door. The children give me candy. Are you kidding? I know I'm ugly. My dog ​​discovered that we look alike and committed suicide. I was an ugly child too, my old man took me to the zoo, the boy at the door thanked them for bringing me back and I was a very ugly child, every time my old man wanted sex, my mother

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ed him my photo, a very ugly child in my sandbox, he cat kept covering me all the time, you know well, when I was a child, no one was nice.

He was 6 years old. I found out there's no such thing as Alpo baby food, I mean, and no one was friendly. My mother never breastfed me, she told me that she liked me as a friend, I mean, I had a problem. I told my old man I'm sick and tired of running in circles. She got angry, she stuck her other foot in me. I mean, that's the destruction of my life. I have no respect. no respect at all respect everything well when I was born the doctor told my mother I did everything I could but he pulled through anyway you know well I don't have any respect from anyone well last week my house caught on fire my wife I told them to the children to shut up, wake up, dad, Hollywood, that's a game in me, I'll see you now, mus mus.