Three Presidents And One Colbert | Trump’s Easter Message | Stealing From Air Force 1

welcome one and all to The Late Show I'm your host stepen colar I hope everyone out there I hope everyone out there everyone had a good Easter weekend uh Church Ham gummies mine was, you know, basically low key, everything What I did was moderate a record-breaking fundraiser with Bill Clinton, Barack Obama and Joe Biden, no, no big deal, it was the most presidential power in one place since those four guys posed for Mount Rushmore. It was an honor to be part of the evening where we had a wide and varied fascinating discussion about the challenges facing our nation, but one big question was left unanswered why none of them were wearing ties I was wearing a tie I think that means I am now president wow wow thank you thank you the work really works The evening was a great success.

The Biden campaign said the event raised over $26 million, and I would say what's even more impressive is that they did it without selling a Bible. Now many people have asked me what it was like to moderate the evening. and I can tell you that there were

three

presidents

,

three

communication teams and zero catering. Oh, I asked a Democrat party person for a Diet Coke and after a long delay they gave me a Diet Pepsi, so now I'm voting for Trump. I know I know the death of democracy, but I have my limits. There was also a funny moment when I asked President Obama why I can call his wife Michelle but I can't call him Barack, he said and I quote his wife can. uhoh uhoh a lot of people enjoyed that joke, for example my wife yesterday was Easter like she was saying and Joe Biden had a beautiful

message

for the nation by posting Jill and I send our warmest wishes to Christians around the world who celebrate Sunday of Easter.

Easter memories us of the power of Hope and the promise of the Resurrection of Christ is classic Donald Trump also had a beautiful Easter

message

April Fools, hey, I almost couldn't get that one out, he posted this message full of caps, happy Easter to everyone, including the corrupt and corrupt prosecutors and judges who are doing everything they can to interfere with the 2024 presidential election and put me in the presidency, including those many people that I completely and totally despise and also you, uh, and your spirit, I guess we say now, yeah, uh, the annual Blanca. House Easter Egg Roll was held today and it was big with around 40,000 participants 40,000 or as the hands that laid those eggs put it, an entire generation was lost and why, but as with everything in our politics, the magga crowd found something to be false indignant.

In this case, Fox News complained that religious-themed designs were banned from the White House Easter egg contest due to guidelines specifying that the submission must not include any questionable content, religious symbols or religious themes. how dare they dishonor the true Spirit of Easter when Jesus laid out colorful eggs for his apostles to find, but here's the thing and this is true. The same guidelines have been in effect under every president since 1976, including Donald Trump. My God, those poor guidelines had to be in the worst place in the world! world under Donald Trump, but in the world of made-up outrage there is always a plan B over the weekend Trump also attacked Biden for the fact that this year's Easter coincided with Transgender Visibility Day and Biden had nothing What to do with it since 2009 International Transgender Visibility Day is celebrated annually on March 31, meanwhile the date of Easter changes from year to year, of course everyone knows the formula to set the date of Easter to the first Sunday after the first full moon.

Look, I have bad news for people who are upset that something else was celebrated for Easter this year because it will still happen in 2029. Easter will fall on April Fool's Day. Oh, so my religion is a big joke to you. What is it? Or are you stating that? Jesus didn't actually rise from the dead, it was all a big joke on the apostles, you shot Jesus and smoked him if you caught him because next year Easter falls in 420, there you go, oh the liberals want to convert Jesus in long hair sandals with a bearded hippie was all about peace and love, wonderful man, forgive your enemies, all these messages he posted were on Truth social and there is some financial news about his lack of finances according to Truth's new SEC filings. social in 2023 with revenue of only $4 million, social truth lost 58 million, but how come they have such a strong business model? old rapist yells on Easter now this is the first one right this is April 1st so it's officially April which means it's time for March Madness and if you're like me your parenthesis is completely broken and, uh, You also have only a vague idea of ​​what it means to break a parenthesis, it's a sex thing because it sounds like a sex thing starting tonight.

The men's and women's tournaments have been narrowed down to the final four, but the most surprising thing that happened on the court this weekend was the court because five women's G games were played with three-point arcs of different lengths on each side of the court . in that you can see the difference it's a glaring mistake it's the most obvious mistake in sports since they accidentally played the '86 World Series with the live chicken oh here's a weird conversation about strange things happening there's some news from Florida governor and caveman describing his dream Rock Ron DeSantis late last week Dan Santis signed a bill that will allow the sale of bottles of wine in Florida up to 15 lers 15 lers is almost 4 gallons we have breaking news Rudy Giuliani has already moved to Florida G thank you, this is a big change until now Florida law prohibited the sale of wine in bottles larger than a gallon, of course there is a legal exception for bachelorette parties because there are no laws about a fan boat Gator Mike in the middle of the bride kisses Gator Mike.

The man behind this new law is a representative from Florida and a guy who buys his formal wear at Spirit Halloween chip lamara Lam Mara's motivation for introducing this bill was to reduce government regulation and he says this legislation has been a priority for me for the last five years. I got divorced years ago, there is some news from Washington and also from the air about Washington. Journalists have been told to stop

stealing

Air Force One memorabilia. No wonder those journalists have sticky fingers every time Wolf Blitzer comes to my house. On the way out the door, a full cavity search See you at the Christmas party, Wolf After Biden went to the West Coast in February, the team found several items missing from the Press section, including pillowcases from brand, glasses and plates with gold rims, so the White House Press Correspondence Association sent an email to reporters explaining that the thefts reflected poorly on the press pool and that they needed to stop them.

You will surely forget the bedding. Go for the cutlery, that's where the real money is or just take the door. It's a Boeing. It is not screwed. It's not me. I'm sorry for the press here. I helped myself get a small five-finger discount before

stealing

Bill O'Reilly's microwave, former Senator Jeff Flake's rug from his office, and a glass from Barbara Strand's house, but that is already a thing of the past. when I met with the three

presidents

on Thursday I didn't steal a single thing I stole three things we have a great show for you tonight I'll talk to Hannah W Inham and I'll give the C Bear quiz to Matt Damon when we get back in the meantime join us we love you