Try Not To Laugh on The Graham Norton Show | Part Four

Was it a couple on a honeymoon on a plane? Yes, there is a couple who were on their honeymoon and the plane had not yet taken off and the woman who had just gotten married became violently and horribly ill on the plane. I'm serious. It wasn't like some kind of pretty sick bag, it was like I was going to paint with my organs like it was crazy and people were going crazy all over the plane and there they brought down a stretcher and they put her on the stretcher and they're taking her away. and like, uh, her new husband is just walking along with the thing and he sees me and he's like Deadpool, there's no way to high five and I you know like you know he's like, let's touch each other's eyes, no, no, and by the way your wife is half dead, she helps her man so it's a very surreal moment, I'm sure they're fine, I'm sure they're on their second anniversary now. yeah, just kicking it somewhere, that's such an embarrassing thing that happened to me yesterday on the subway, so obviously I was like, oh anyway, right, basically, what happened else, so I stood on the subway platform from Oxford, yeah, and I always have um, so you. you know like a glass, put away the cup, you know, instead of going to a coffee shop and buying a new cup, I bring a glass one that I then wash and go back to my latte, so I got my empty cup and I just I stood still. down and stuff and an older man was walking towards me on the platform and I just, uh God, I just want to get on the subway, I hate being recognized, he started walking towards me, but then he extended his arm. and his arm went into a space and on the platform tube it's full and it's a little bit, I don't know, I just got the kind of light, oh, what are you doing a little bit unnecessarily aggressive? and actually what he was doing was he left.

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you wanted money and he was stuck. Oh, I just sat there and thought someone made eye contact so I could tell this story. I thought he understood. Now we have a really good story because presumably Dwayne. you can't hide you can't put on a hat I've seen you in a gym like a public gym so they bother you all the time all the time yeah but how do you feel outside the window how do you work? at the gym, if people constantly give up on you, uh, just be nice, say hello, make them move, watch the movie, lift them up, but fame is a fun thing, so that story for you will be like a constant reminder of anchorage.

How cool is fame, but I never like it when I don't have the stress that you have because I think the thing is if you're five or six years old and you're wearing a hat and you're dressed like a man most of the time. a teenager in a baseball cap and headphones on with his head down I take the bus and I take the bus on the subway every day because I'm not in anyone's line of sight that way, but you can imagine there's something about whether If you are you can't you're not you're seven feet tall so yes, but Kevin Kevin has had weird fans you've had weird fans what happens if you're five foot two like that how do you do it what are you talking about right?

How do you deal with that? You know hey, I'm not thinking straight, first there are two, we're skipping some points here. The first thing she says is that she's dressed like a teenager and for someone to put money in your cup it has to be a lot worse than that something inside your parents said I need to help this person make sure they eat today something happens uh for me I mean it's bad um and because I'm a big deal uh it's just it's the The guy followed was in a restaurant where he followed you oh my gosh I had a guy actually follow me into the bathroom it was a true story.

I'm in a cubicle, you know I have to go and you know, yeah, while I'm. I'm in the bathroom, Kevin, can I take a photo? And I say, you know, because I'm obviously a very big guy. I immediately defend myself and say, "Hey, not here, wait until I'm done." go outside I take it with you when I go out um and I go to the cubicle you close the door and you know you would hope that whoever is gone is gone and I you know I do what I have to do and It was one of those situations where I had than being there for a while, you know I'm there, uh, and you know, literally, when you get comfortable, you start taking your time and I move on. my phone I'm scrolling, you know, it's just it's a it's a comfortable inventory what you do with the mall that's all I finish and I like to get out of the cubicle and close the door he's there can we get the? photo, it was like, I meant outside the bathroom, man, outside the bathroom, I'm not taking a picture with you in the bathroom, but the fact that he stayed there really nice the whole time made me feel obligated and I was like, hey , just come on selfie real quick don't tell anyone you saw me here friend of jason statham every day but i'm distracted by the ingredients of a cocktail oh yes, it's a cocktail at christmas y'all yes, i must do it, yes please, Now what's good?

I like to give Britain a little tip every now and then, so you need to find yourself a case now. This is just a minute. Wait wait. I don't know if I want that drink if you go to really fancy cocktail bars. get these amazing hand carving ice cubes oh no no, let's go find a water bomb, and we just split it up, take it off and get a beautiful little round bear with me, bears with me, this is what they do at the fancy places , then we're going to make a Christmas negroni. I consider myself a Christmas negroni. um, so negroni, I want you to think of it as medicine, okay, okay, if you have each of us, it has someone a little bit boring, a little bit like that. doubtful who comes to the Christmas

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y there is always one, so what you do is take this negroni well, also known as medicine, medicine and it turns people who are a little problematic and boring mm-hmm into interesting people. serving three drinks, this is 20 campari meals 20 mils of rosso vermouth that we've scented with a little bit of cinnamon and christmas fair, yeah, and then we've got some gin, a little bit of clementine to get you started, are you ready for this ?

I said, come on man, once you said this, if you don't get more interesting, I don't know what's going to happen, okay, okay, lovely, pass it on, it's like school, yeah, go home, we have

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. we have

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we have four no no where are we cheers merry christmas merry christmas this is a bit like a carol and we're stingy because like merry christmas everyone is like 600 tiny tims okay oh come on come on oh that's how the world is changing though I can't judge if it's delicious or not. No, I like him to have enough Christmas.

Here's the thing. No, that's very good. That's how it is. You want to sit, you want to sit. Wait here, come on, oh, I drank from this side. so you can drink from that side you can drink from the other side you have to understand it you know you see what you think is this like feeding an elf after midnight how is that? that's good that's good cocktail yeah a christmas to remember that was christmas oh the underwater sequence yeah yeah that looked difficult oh boy that was pretty hard that was very technical probably about a week in Pinewood , because we shot the movie here in London, and everything was underwater, it's a sequence in which this sphere. falls off a cliff and she and another actor named justice are trapped inside the sphere and I am on the outside of the sphere trying to rescue them as it sinks and water is filling the gyrosphere and at one point we are completely submerged in water and yes, we spent what I don't know uh a week or eight days or nine days we spent in water yes and it was small, I will tell you that they put a lot of chlorine in the water because you have a team of 85 people urinating in this pool as if no one had gotten it never no, no, no, no, no, we didn't have time for people to pee, so you knew people were peeing, oh I'm sure, although suddenly people would.

I just don't have senses, that was good, that's good, yeah, I don't mind doing that again, yeah, she just made me pee a little because it made sense, yeah, I jingled a little when I mean it, you pee yourself. We're not supposed to pee in the pool, but no one came out and I know because I had to be underwater with my eyes open, of course, uh, like I could see with my eyes open underwater, Chris, did you pee on me? In fact? time is money in a movie like this Chris, you were in the waterhole, I was trapped in this gyrosphere, right, your defense, it makes sense, I felt this freedom while I was working, you know what I mean, I was just like really present um, you didn't I don't feed Claire p yeah, Claire Claire panicked, yeah, every time you said that for the last seven months, I feel like I wasn't happy, I'm just so deeply ashamed, and that's when we bonded and we order. of becoming best friends on and off screen and uh, and we fought these elemental creatures, but now filming together as Jake Tom seems like he was pretty unfriendly to you while you were filming, when didn't you get a little spicy?

Oh well. uh, yeah, we were filming well, we were filming a scene and I, uh, I have a, I got sick, I was very nauseous all day and in the middle of one of the takes, I threw up in the middle of the take and uh. I carried on, you know, but that's what acting is all about. I was sitting across from him and I thought, how is he doing? It's so good that he looks so tortured and so sick and so and so hurt and then he basically just had a stomach bug and they actually cut the vomit out of the shot, but if you watch the movie in the movie my mouth is

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ially open in a Moment, I'm kidding, you know?