UNHhhh Ep 89: "Shopping Part 1" with Trixie Mattel and Katya Zamolodchikova

they look like the swiss miss what is that tea cold tea drags her slave sitting on that tract hunting gag those I love the lifestyle that's the lifestyle hello I'm your winter weight Trixie Mattel and I still can't believe how much for that can fit in this bladder Katya and welcome to the program, we will talk about whatever we want because it is our program and not yours. I wish that could be my ringtone. Eve, children are the future, yes, teach them well and let them break me. own lawn you love

shopping

you know what I do you know what I do I said and you know what I like to go to the stores I want to touch it you know well I'm like air in practice yes like Marie Kondo says to like, you know, pick things up and see if you want them and if they give you joy, get rid of them, yeah, I'm the complete opposite, okay, I want to pick up things that I don't even care about and just be like, what is it, let me touch it, smell it and I'm like, I don't I want, let me rub it all over my body.

Yes, I love people who go too far with trying it, oh God, you're going to say. You work in retail. I have never worked in a clothing store. I have had many interviews. The dressing room that my sister worked at Fashion Bug and there's always in mom's store, yeah, yeah, there's always shit in the dressing room, that's how you knew. That's how you knew and you would like shit, how was that to adjust the size, what kind of person leaves shit in the locker room, what do you think, what's the profile? is it someone who can't help it or someone who went there planning to do it, I think the latter, yeah, so I think the letter, especially because it was like don't you just deposit shit because it wasn't an area, no, it was heard that They could have brought it from home. could have been smuggling the poop into one of them organ donors, yeah, a fresh little frozen poop Fashion Bug, just trying to cross the trust state lines without being one, yeah, well, you know what a fecal transplant is , something real, they put poop in your butt from 7:00, but I wonder if it will be like a blood transfusion where it will be like oh, I'm self negative or whatever now, what are the types of food?

Yeah, it's like um, there's this nice nice blonde and then, oh, oh, I had enough. Damn, I have it right now, yes, but it's not like it's not enough. I don't want to call the doctor because it's not like turning all the water red, you know what you mean? Okay, I was checking my phone the other day and One day I was traveling and I guess I don't like to talk about going to the bathroom, yes I know, and one time I woke up and had diarrhea and diarrhea with farts, again I successfully peed in the Gatorade bottle and then I forgot I peed in the game bottle and took a sip, no, yeah, I know, but I guess I went to the bathroom and the rest of us will say the product is fine.

Prada Weymouth is so long I guess I needed to take a photo. the becoming, something like that happened with your body, we thought: I'm never going to show this to anyone, but I need to know what happened, yes, I could feel steam and up to six months, but I look at the ones I need. a witness to my experience came out of the bone it was like coming out of the wrapped ball write your name in the sky surrender to the grout yes I had to do it UM I know you don't want to talk about it I have to hate I don't know I know I know but I had I have to cut it with a Q-tip because several times wait a minute ok and we're going up like spanakopita my toilets have overflowed in many places on your little body I know what and it's once you push yourself like a prison meatloaf, well, it feels like when it happened, I always felt like, oh, that's too much for me to go out, you know, they made it feel like the lock feels too much like that, you can balance it out hard.

I'm down after one word, it's a lot, the best is when it's flushed and it goes around like clockwork and then the holes here and it just does this, like a dog trying to get through a door with a stick, yeah, I just won. You didn't move and that's when you had to roll up your sleeves, get the swab, okay I'll go bowling, this is even more disgusting, okay I had to go

shopping

, I had to hand it out, oh that was that place shopping. I worked at, I just wove my microphone, wait a minute, wait a minute, remember shopping at the place I worked at, at this sword, the retail establishment I worked at, it was like a forever job, baby, like my fourth or fifth day at work and they had a toilet, but a little finicky and didn't have a big pole, long story short Mary, I cycled everything.

The toilet overflowed and I said yes, and I've done it like three times. There was like my first birthday and I was like oh god, oh god and then the

part

s that waste was about to know, you like the karate kid fishing in a Greek, you're like, oh Mike, it was so what? did? Then just wait. I just put my hand on it and looked at it. I threw it in the trash and then took out the trash. It's not a bad dress, okay, it's not a bad strategy, anyway, shopping, okay, do you like high? Do you like a competitive price?

I love a bargain, yeah, oh okay, most lipsticks are a buck ninety-nine. I've been with you, haven't I at some point? The woman I soon found myself in was like the nouveau riche experiment like, "Oh, well, making a big purchase makes me feel great. Do you feel fancy or special or are you feeling? Oh, yeah, panic. No. I've spent about four or five hundred dollars. I felt like I was at Sephora and was fine for the next week. I can't, no, it was a real rush. I thought, look at this in my size, whatever you are, yeah, me too, give him my credit card, my heart was pounding like they were going to find out, wait a minute, yeah, oh, can you afford it?, oh , we got a poor thing, you almost caught us, you're a piece of shit sucking on a tumbleweed, yeah, and it happened, I felt euphoric for about 25 seconds. and then it's over and then you're like overwhelmed like you're doing the $9,000 Gucci pink leather Gucci suit, why not?

I used to work at an Ulta everyone calm down and there was this lady oh my god she used to wear big linen cotton pants with an American flag on it okay marry you yeah she would blow it and we had pictures of video of her pulling down her pants, putting perfumes on her pants and walking out like Merry Christmas couldn't do anything, that's a national hero bucket. that's supposed, yeah, convenience stores, I love them, like viral YouTube videos, a shotgun, an owner jumping, yeah, yeah, if you rob a 7-eleven, it should be Steven Seagal's martial law, yeah I He works at a 7-eleven and you try to rob him.

You'd see me mopping and then I'd see you steal and you'd see me unscrewing the Asscher and what's his voice like Steven Seagal's. He rises like no, it's like the little one has a little Godfather II. Are you going to take this? yeah, I have to be, I'm literally going to put my pants on anyway when it comes to shopping, do it, yeah, don't be afraid and do it with Trixie Mattel products, that's it, and you go to Nordstrom, you can return anything. a cash account, so say Marvel you ordered your kitchen island redone, bring it back to Nordstrom.

I want to, yeah, bring it back to Nordstrom. You know, I want my marble. You move to a new place and they have a lot of old stuff. What do they do? you call them Oh, smoke detectors, bring them to the noise, get cash back, yeah, every time you move to a new place, there's always like a box of your Nalgene bottle filters, Branson North, you took a poop from your bare hand, I felt it in my hand, was it happy? no it's so light floating Orange Julius I love orange that's half the point of going to a mall girl you go to a mall this is what you get you get the Orange Julius you get the Cinnabon you get the Saguaro real Italian food Italian Cucina questo The VAR and Cooper made a perfect Oreo dr.

Filardo that was the best

part

of working in a shopping center is every day the melodrama of the lamb of how a lunch is approaching where am I? The only thing you would talk about all day is where everyone will click on the food for the food court that's like hey Rachel, what do you think you're going to do? They should be like sticks, you'll be like you better work Rachel siani, one for a bowl of 1300 calorie Panera bread, absolutely anything for an hourly wage, my family and I used to drive to the mall to go eat at the food court that's not depressing that's garbage garbage in depressing Pam pat pat yeah garbage