UNHhhh Ep. 111: A Very Mary UNHhhhliday

Can I just say this? I'm glad you're pushing me to change. I feel

very

good. Thank you. You had a manger in your head. Yes, it's Halloween or whatever Christmas is. Okay, boomer,

very

good. You know why, because they dress so badly. All the time when I wear a nice dress people say oh my God, but that's good, that's a good strategy, keep the expectations of those around you very low. Yeah, I also feel like we should make a concerted effort to stop pronouncing soft cheese and make them all hard as a good strategy Dina Martina is real, the jiff she keeps giving Peter I want to do the show now oh I'm Britney's new fragrance Spears from the curious Trixie Mattel and I also want to go to the bathroom, my panties are falling off and welcome to the program where we talk about whatever we want with our program and not yours, just kidding, there are times when I think about the holidays, I think joy, joy, joy with a capital G lemon-scented in the second on the clock that Thanksgiving ends I just started and we won't We won't stop until December 26, holiday cheer, do me if you're on the rag , no, if you are, if you are ovulating, don't come see me, oh, yes, miss, because you will get pregnant, you will be a way to make her angry, no. cradle for bed little Lord Jesus laid his sweet head on him never say it doesn't fit Abraham Lincoln Christopher hear both filmed in a theater where's your daddy?

Where is my dad? José was not your dad God was your dad God was the dead guy mom, Gaga consulted with Mary, yes, before saying: Can I get you pregnant? The angel visited her and said: listen, this is what is going to happen to your womb model. Did that really happen? Yes, angel hello, when an angel visits you, the first thing that happens is what they say. Don't be afraid, well, it depends on what the Angels will look like, if the Angels will be like, you know, Glick Casper's mom likes to shine and float, I'm fine, you know, I don't want to roll over and end up with these clothes . looking normal in my house I'm a voltage angle your kitchen table with wings Michael no no if an angel will come to me I need other people to be like oh yeah that angle yeah yeah yeah okay, there will be Trump, will this be it? a big bright light and it will be Emma Thompson with a sword, she has no blind spots in America.

Oh, I love it when people get so stressed about their Christmas shopping. I think it's fun. I like getting things for people who believe them, you know? I mean, kind of like trolling them. I know you're not married yet, so I bought you his and hers towels. Enjoy. Do gay guys get like him and her? She is already finished. She had hers. I thought it was funny to say that you could even give it to me. the holiday gift of laughing at one of my jokes I'm allergic to I'm addicted to honesty now nothing says holiday like good old American consumerism, check out these gift ideas that might be of interest to you, so what do you do?

If you have a boyfriend who maybe likes it, it's not the best information to keep all the grass mowed, let's say you like bully shaped balls. Yes. I do it because I don't want to put it in my mouth when I was in beauty school. trying to be classy, ​​I was doing, you know, scissors over comb, perm rods, oh, I love it, this has a masculine design and this product is called the lawn mower that we're testing is not a real life person and Pete, they're thirsty for you, they're going to measure. Okay, I can, yes, my God, it's very comforting to me.

I could do this at work. I mean, this is like when I was a young kid in college. Check it out. Wow and then you just straighten them out. You never felt it. closer to who or what we're not going to brew today maybe tomorrow maybe tomorrow get those nasty wiry hairs off that Pringle II Dingley ding dong ding dong get 20% off and free shipping with promo code bitched out manscape calm down eye shape that guy in Australia remember I remember how you pay me Rob nayeth stole your ass I shaved his ass he stole mine happy holidays Merry Christmas do you remember hearing it was the first time and thinking damn why isn't there a whole album of that?

It's time for Katya's spooky Christmas album. You want to get in the Christmas mood but you also feel like you could be murdered at any second. This is the album for you with hits like Oh God, rest your soul, merry gentlemen, with nothing here to stay. Jango Belgium the Belgian over haha, enemy of Rex, who does this anywhere, sweet eyes and a low price, first, what a conscious and creepy business album today. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, my mom is like a one hour drive to work every day. That prostitute consumes audiobooks that I bought. she, the novel about doctor sleep, she had already heard it, we are talking about audible, yes, audible, but you can listen to books.

I think this would be a very good gift for parents. Also eliminates. Well, I know he's a reader, she's a reader. book Do I have 120 days of sodom by the mark? Up to you. I'm reading Stephen King right now. I'm doing Trixie's makeup. I'm hearing about a clown who hates children. There are some similarities there. Dolores Claiborne. I love that one for me. walking into a listening concert is a healthy environment for me to keep my hands busy so I can just yes, wash your makeup brushes, that's how you listen to an audiobook, scrape the grout off your bathroom towels or your toothbrush, yeah , right now, for a limited time.

You can get three months of Audible for just 695, which is more than half the original price. pick up an audiobook in original audible absolutely free, just go to audible.com forward slash for etext uh - 500 500, which is my personal number, listening is reading from audible ears I just heard yes and they paid the rent. Let's see that in a commercial and you'll be home. Did you know that it occurred to me that my little nephew had his birthday? I heard everything the other day. guess what I gave him $1,000 listen boy I said your ball now baby bye what did he say your period what you like I don't like him much did you really get this baby anymore I gave him $1,000 baby I love gay events when just make a guy with a beard white sit in a chair and be Santa and I also love anything with kids where mom and dad's family makes sure the kid has a good time, like you're the kid and you're using it. like a Christmas parade I like it when moms like it it's not so funny don't you think it's cool?

Wow and the kid says yeah, I have eyes, I have closed ears, he's not that cool, don't you want that Santa? I'll get out of that laugh. I'm going to say, oh God, why do you want to make coffee. Do you remember something when you were young that you really wanted for Christmas? Yes, and you want to share it. No, just, yes, yes and. I wouldn't like to talk about that. I had a very long list of things saying you have to go to the witch shop, this book on archaic esoteric mysticism and it has to be this edition and today they are coming to the pub. t your Catholic parents like I don't know what book Tommy or whatever your real name is you know like we were very poor but like the year I wanted a gameboy color so I could play Pokémon, I have one, but if you're a parent and a kid want a video they want to make games they offer you freedom they will leave you alone for days and hours that is true my children will have anything good, they will not be, they will be dead or none, yes, they are not boring at all. they want, that'll keep them away from me, huh, like mom wants me, yeah, I want a trip to, you know, go to Bali, yeah, look, look, Tommy, I bought you a trip to Jamaica for one, even if it is a one way trip.

It's not that? You do not like? Yes, we exchange gifts. Yes, my God. I feel like I should go first because yours might be better. Probably yeah, that's fine and I also don't want people to see that you're rapping first. You're easy, it's easy to buy and you say, yeah, we'll look at that weird old box. I love this box. It shows the camera look and also look, look at the look, it's very similar to a chain. in it will be a great bag not only is it hard to get oh there we go ok it doesn't smell like bread I love it I would really let him talk about hearing with my ears it's a leather band with uh it's a faux leather band with a fake eyeball little girl little girl you are so much yes free no I love it I thought it would look good with your black leather gloves that you always wear yes my gloves Madonna yes it's okay Mary chrimbus this is really amazing it's almost like someone isn't you a I'm going to keep this is just a part of them just to show it below oh is this a decoration? yes, says Playmate of the Year 1997 Victoria's Silk Step, oh my gosh, she's a 16-inch Playmate of the Year fashion doll. in 1997, look at her, this is really sexy, yeah, where did you find something like that in a pawn shop?

Really, yes, it drills, yes, it looks a little masculine, that's fine, yes, it looks a little suspicious, well, it's a fish, well, maybe it really was. groomed, you know, sometimes there are women who are really fit, I mean, look at the BOD. I know we're not supposed to be like the BOD, but look at the link, oh yeah, a very fit woman, she'll look great in my house. I don't know where, oh. oh, it will look so good in my office, yes, all the holidays do is suggest that you do something nice for yourself and your friends, that's literally all it means, oh, the Christmas spirit, yes, you don't need a tree or nothing you have to put there. a little love in your heart go with two friends and go to the mall and buy yourself something and stare at the tree it's literally that easy to direct the tree I'll watch the movie Scrooged so Marie if you don't want to see your family don't go home, you don't know anyone, nothing, you stir up something else, if people here are stressed about your racist aunt or uncle, you can physically attack them, how did you go to prison?

I punched my uncle in the name of justice and although yes, have a happy vacation because we will be back in January, that's the eye, we will see you in 2020. Happy vacation. Merry christmas. Happy Holidays. You know what I love. The sun at night loves and you haven't realized it. my sister watches this show my little sister she was like I love you you two shells like no, no, she's like I look, I'm like, no, no, I'm like, try it, she's like, Merry Christmas, I was like Oh God mine, you do look at it, although I will say this could be my sister looking at it.

All her favorite phrases are yours. It's better that she's not here, so yeah.