UNHhhh Ep 66: "Hallowiener" w/ Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova

toppy Halloween huh, okay, like a Honda Civic because my spare tire because of my ability to emotionally slide on cruise control because of my propensity to We weren't high on ecstasy in the car, I think we took it about an hour before to get there and then. We were like tripping or whatever, I know it's God rolling, yeah, have you ever seen Black Swan, yeah, she eats one, she eats a rolling sheep, the roller is the rope, she eats the roll, she just remove the tits? I want to be Mila Kunis and me. I want I want to have that like cathartic self stabbing bloody but ballet not Mila Kunis no um what's her face and Hathaway I don't know I know I know you're thinking about Roseanne no I'm thinking about you Harvard Natalie Portman, yeah Natalie Portman hi , I'm the best side dish, you bring the party monster, the mashed potatoes in the towel tricks and I'm the razor blades and those apples you're about to bite, you can assure, okay, don't beep. okay and welcome to no halloween show where we talk about whatever we want, yeah, you know, we did something spooky last year, we're diversifying our portfolio now we're getting famous, oh my god, he laughs at the movie then, trash From all of high school, yes.

Lisa Kudrow and I are soulmates, well a little known fact is that your role on this show was originally written for There's a Kudrow but she wasn't available, that makes a lot of sense to you because we never clicked, no we never would . from yeah, yeah, if she was weird for a Halloween episode and we're not dressed scary this time, I want to be cute, yeah, I have to be kind of sexual, like people put on a costume on our Halloween, they feel Like another me tonight. It's like you're wrapped in toilet paper you're a mummy but yeah I feel you Danis like that one night anything here I have like I can just be a splat but you're one every other night of the year too yeah you know I wanna be like it's to drag me for Halloween.

I want to be like the girl with the big tits who comes first in all the movies. I want to be the girl who has a giant hole cut in her. pants, you can see her juicy stumbles of her. Halloween is coming and we're all just waiting for Miller to come sing us a song with Kathy Najimy, okay yeah, just a member of Parker, oh my god, I don't care who you are, gay, young, old, which one are you? -pocus is the tea, yeah, subconsciously I like to model my look after Sarah Jessica Parker's striking hair on Halloween and do that number, oh yeah, come on a little, take your word for it again, yeah, that's the song, no Don't you sing Salt, Pepper, Shoop, remember what it is? on that broom and the kids are tracing and she's like a clean young lady Oh, or you're carrying Bret, Carrie Bradshaw on a broom like I can't help but wonder why Bette Midler is like that, what's your favorite Halloween movie, you're opening my hand or my box the boxes, the 13th part of the franchise really put the whole slasher idea on the map, that's kind of the idea of ​​like in the movies, if you're a virgin, you might survive and if you're careless, you'll die , It is always so.

First you would die in a movie. I would do it, but I would probably be the murderer. You know what I mean? He'd probably die first and of course because he'd be the killer, but that's the real twist. I was just coming up, I can't really think about it and then wait a second you said I was actually a little irritated with you, yeah of course it's like a great theory, yeah the truth is I've been the killer all along . Wow and then. I look down, there's been a nice conversation, but in the end it's like what happened to her, she committed suicide, you mean suicide, no, you know, it's funny, I live so deep in the country that when I wanted to go, you know , To ask for sweets.

Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry, Robin, I'm going to steal, I would dress up and the days, anything other than Halloween goes door to door, but demands dad, no, no, I can't. I wanted your money, did you ever do trick or-? Don't treat on Halloween, you know how they do that in some cities? If we do it. I don't think it's right. I don't think it's right. It's not a lie. Is a lie. Are you also against opening a gift? Disgrace Christmas. Yes I am. What about fireworks? It doesn't stop. there are wine fireworks. No, I pay money to make it last.

I love Halloween before I was a drag queen, obviously, you know, dressing up was a lot of fun and I was never scary at all. I'm not fine, it was a mouse like three times. I have sixth grade, third grade, I thought, what are you like for everyone? and I thought, "There's no help for me." He wasn't creative. I was just gay, which is what I do now. I don't like Klenner costumes and I don't like happy costumes I don't like those Chileans my urn had Chilean miner people do that yes Chilean yes I didn't like that I think it's I think it's too soon and in bad taste it's not so creative yes if you are going to dress up as someone Chilean she is an adult oh I have a witch laughs she could have been a witch and what's wrong with her Irma wait a minute people would dress up as a hurricane yes well you have three new ones Janka you have sister José and Katia them Are you Hurricane Katia?

Yes, it is a truck with oppression. At this moment they don't know about us. Did we put Katya moping here for a good year? Yeah, we've been new, okay, we've already made it new, yeah, like a. hurricane that is devastating the international world and knocking people down, we have to say it for yourself, as well as a tropical depression. I like to keep things heavy but also keep a lightness, oh you know what I think. I always wanted to have a boyfriend for Halloween, no. I always wanted to because I'm very Caucasian and I have a shaved head.

I always wanted to be a white head with a red bloody footprint and then for my boyfriend to be Tom Hanks and cows. Wait, we can be Tom Hanks. and Wilson oh that's cute that's a couples costume oh my gosh but every time Halloween comes around I'm usually working and I don't have anyone in my life when it's so sexual okay what if you have a boyfriend ? wearing like a hockey mask for halloween right mm-hmm and he goes to the bathroom and comes back he's someone like everyone else he has that thing he's pretending to be your boyfriend yeah it starts like finger banging you on the dance floor and you're like oh , here I really didn't realize until later, when your boyfriend says, hey, baby, wandering around this, you're like I had Director Bell punching my fingers in my face all night, you know, yeah, he's not Dustin Diamond, lives in Milwaukee, all the people they kill. people are from Wisconsin Jeffrey Dahmer I used to give his day he was participating in small game holes ahead it's always gay guys you know what it was Jeffrey Dahmer killing people or society destroying Jeffrey Dahmer's fragile mind through discrimination is a very compelling point probably him because he killed animals again, yeah, and I'm going to be one of those animals for homine.

Oh, what about the time I was a Ken doll for Halloween? Because I thought Trixie on Halloween I'll make a boy Ken doll, that's a great look, okay? people were not only suspicious, they were sure that I was Martina Navratilova The Yugoslavian lesbian tennis player, literally, come out of the closet with me Mattia Martina Navratilova I had contacts from Lee a blonde wig a tennis racket with like a I was like a man like a and people said I love you Martina as if they weren't just guessing and the only people who didn't think they knew me.

Universal on top, we're like, I love your Ellen, okay, that's me, Nancy Kerrigan, I'd be a guy with a pipe, oh, that's cool, you. I'm just going to say why Almighty walks behind you like waiting for my window or just like yes. I also like a couple on Halloween fighting dressed like something oh yeah, he's like a lobster and she's the Swiss lady that she is. Were you flirting with her or is there something like, come on babe, you know what you mean to me. It would be really fun to see how the Kool-Aid man and then a Girl Scout is like how to get this fight.

Yes, be a good earthquake queen. Halloween is spooky. I will listen to you, the most important thing I am going to tell you is to have fun, be creative, it is more important to be creative with your costume because that is sexier than being sexy for Halloween, sensuality comes from within and Murder is all around us , so don't drink too much and I think if you have the chance, do it yourself, it's more impressive and fun, and if all else fails, just put on a turtleneck, you can be a sexual predator. Hello, my name is Glenn and I play children.

I always like the videos of people who are dressed as scarecrows and then the kids come looking for candy. I love it, but especially if they have a boner because I hate boys. I think listening to children is the only way. to hurt them, that's funny and having your I know I love, I should live as long as I don't, it's good, they'll come out like a child crying after I scared them, I scared them, no, that will give me information about that, yeah. If I guess he calms down and informs her that she's a mommy rat because kids, I mean, kids are cute and watching you get scared is satisfying, yeah, I want to be a babysitter for the dads.