UNHhhh Ep 34: "Kids and Parenthood" w/ Trixie Mattel & Katya Zamolodchikova

Hello I'm the spiral perm chemical burn take send hello the sass you ever didn't know you have a lot of sass that takes courage and I'm the eight foot tall babysitter you can't wait for all that oh oh oh oh Oh Oh I got it and I'm the beautiful blonde babysitter who won't get out of here without singing the blues Patsy, well I miss you oh oh and welcome to the show, we'll be talking about whatever we want, not yours,

kids

, yeah , game for toddlers, meet the twincest, meet the prequel, people, game about amniotic fluid, we're reaching the age for our first, wait, wait, not without my daughter, oh my god, my baby's name It's Janet Janet from another planet. and she always lands on her feet your baby's legs and arms have the same part that you said she has foot and mouth disease fetal lateral fissure don't even talk about it because you know you don't, I'm not kidding I'm not kidding Oh God, look how orange you look girl , so only a normal baby sees skin, yes, I have a cousin who was born without my sternum, what are you lying, I'm not lying, that's not a last name, I don't believe it. for a second show him the receipts for the PBS documentary okay yes I want to have

kids

for the first time in my life.

I think if I'm saving money and building a life for myself, who died? Leave it to me if I'm a gay man who doesn't have children I'm not going to live with me look at me actually it's possible that I will become a hockey mom you will become a willow tree-like granny I'm going to braid my skin into the bark of a redwood tree again oh my god I'm sorry I'm just standing here I can't feel my legs all over the tree I'm thinking about whether I want to have kids I think I like this kid this is TJ Thomas TJ no this is TJ I'm Lo Sorry, TJ, I have a mixed-race baby.

I think TJ is Hispanic, not only because of his beautiful skin, but he looks at this hair. Yes, the Italian could be today. Oh, this hair is beautiful. He is an Italian mother. You think so. It's a Jersey Shore flat roof. You're right. he is the Italian Lamoni Qi Liu ji raja PT oh yes, this e barley Cooper's was a mentor, dr. Philardo my blue sky is fine, I have the father egg for children until I see children and I'm like I'm not TJ, you see the children, you're like, thank God Bob the drag queen says that when the best gift he what they have given him is being gay.

The nice thing about being gay is that you won't run into a kid when you want. A kid requires some work. It requires a $1,000 job. I have many friends with children. I said, I'm saying all my friends from high school have gained 40 pounds. or had a baby, oh yeah, and I haven't done either, if you were straight, you think you already have kids, not at all, no, actually, yes. I think if you're a young heterosexual couple, the pressures are more intense to have children. I would have had these side tube formations like You, I want a baby, people say, "It's okay, honey, if you have a baby, you can't be the baby, that's what happens, man, parenting gives So scary because she's so selfless, there's no parity, but guess what, it's more than scary, it sucks." and this is Calvin, he doesn't have a penis, listen, it hasn't developed yet.

I thought he was a great father. My mother was the best mother. She would take your mother's job whenever my parents let me do anything except they're number one. She couldn't pierce. my face, but one thing I had to do physical exercise, you have to do something physical, whether it's martial arts, which was for ten years, and then gymnastics and any martial arts, my dad is a karate master, karate master as a belt rip and Shikoku grade black. Okinawan Karate anyway I don't know my dad, but I think you live in Omaha, are you laughing? He makes me horny.

I'm just covering it with my hands. Many children. I don't think I can find an extracurricular activity that I resonate with. On the other hand, the danger is when you try to take advantage of your child's talent. What percentage of child actors actually grow up and become fully functioning human beings? Well, it's like the kids at pageants, they always say they're just like us. They would let her quit when they want to go behind closed doors, they like to put it in the way, they are literally stabbing her in the abdomen with a knife, but here's the thing, here's the bathroom, the moms are the ones that's why I want say the mother. had gone good and bad bad she's not sure what she means but she feels strongly what I feel what I feel and that's good enough for me we're the kids you just have to tune out and be compassionate or trust .

Address the problem in whatever way the scenario is. Hi, excuse me, I just wanted you to know that I really need her son to be like this. That's bad, we went to sleep. Oh, I don't see the need for Plan B, he waved his kids to sleep, this is what I Love, have you ever been in stories with kids like mom and the mom comes really close and says, if you don't You're good, I'll take you home and can I make you stay? I knew who, my mom, you tell me this. you're in public if you don't stay close to me someone will take you away and you'll never see me again how about that Lenny?

If you don't behave now I'll tease you and give you a French braid. bath mat I'm going to step on your face everyone I won't choose my cool machine if you don't behave I'll cut off your right - yeah, cut off your rat tail and then I'll clean your eyeballs with my water bag I'll cut off your rat tail and then I will comb the rest of your hair with the rat tail what kind of punishments would you give if you were a father Oh Oh you believe in spanking I don't believe in corporal punishment because I believe that the psyche is the best battlefield for punishment.

I agree with permissive parenting, please don't forget wise permissive parenting, let's take some cards. Hello Kostya. I am a 45 year old woman who wants to take my 12 year old son to a gay bar. - we may or may not have the opportunity to meet you probably at 2 in the morning, could you give us all your time and attention no money, no combo, no no, here's the thing. Here is the combo you have to combine. and do that, that's the combination. I'm having trouble with family confrontation and unflappability because you know what you don't know when your child is that your parents are doing better because they've lived a longer life than you. here's the twist at the time my parents didn't know any better about the subject of confirmation in the Catholic Church, they said it's important.

I said why this is the only imperfection my parents had, the only one, everything else good as rain, but this one I said. Why is it important and they couldn't give me a straight answer because they didn't really know each other exactly? They know this, but here's the interesting part: we're adults now with my parents and we can investigate the complexities together. of religion and spirituality holy trinity Holy Trinity K Bonet you are welcome if you decide to have children organs I do not have children I think the most important thing is to be compassionate mm-hmm yes and if not you can help do not harm them and you can positively affect the lives of the children you do not have none own yeah I hate your volunteer call or write to your local representative to make sure some monster doesn't take away your reproductive rights yeah just happy to be involved Calvin Calvin okay thanks guys and don't forget to subscribe to Wow presents Deborah, what? what have you done, my baby, wait, look at me with those hands, oh my god, that was amazing?