UNHhhh Ep. 132: Texting Etiquette

Can I ask a very honest question? Who can take me? It takes two to make time. I can't define pornography, but I know it when I see it. They said the camera adds 10 pounds. They didn't mention that it's all free. Do you listen to me, does the quality of my voice inspire erotic feelings? Yes, something is burning down there. Hi, I'm the guy who didn't text you back, who did you catch, left you at Trixie Mattel red-handed and I just found out that dipping your toddler in a dirty lake is an alternative to vaccination katya and welcome to the show where we talk about whatever we want because it's our show and not yours, that's right, I guess I finally have a confession to make please, while acknowledging that

texting

is important.

I hate it, what do you think about friendly technology? It depends on the mood. I guess sometimes it's like what are you doing? I say, don't worry about it, but sometimes I say, um, you know what's funny because I usually don't want to be if you're not going to make me laugh or cry or leave, then don't even honestly bother. The way you and I text, I mean, let's bring the receipts, wait, no, I'm not going to show up. what you just texted me today could you show are you talking about this? I'm talking about that too-hot-for-TV baby.

She was squatting admiring me and I noticed that a small piece of gum had traveled outside the perimeter. and I got the text and I was like oh this is the perfect example of a text I got from Trixie so I haven't heard from her maybe for a day and then she said can I ask you something important? The first thing is like, okay, responsibility, I need to be responsible for my actions, okay, and I said, shoot, she said, should I do porn with a picture of herself looking great? Really if? What about this? Sometimes Katie has interesting typos.

This says I just made blueberry ice cream. It's good? I sent it. one picture that she says looks amazing is those white horror chocolate chips, i meant white white chocolate chips, she said it's those horror chocolate chips, oh that horror juice is okay. I recently watched a short documentary by Verna Herzog about

texting

and driving. three vignettes about car accidents, I mean I was sobbing, have you ever been to one of those Christian haunted houses? No, I'm dying to wish. Debbie thought it would be cool to text and then she's like a teen actress like the skin on a finger.

Like dead in a way that no car would ever do the devil's dance on her stone body today yeah, it doesn't make sense I guess Debbie didn't know she'd be skinned alive Phil thought a drag on a marijuana cigarette would be fine so he was decapitated . Toby thought being in a gang was cool. He is now head of the United Nations. They showed a suicide. A teenager committed suicide. That is like the great sin and I will never forget it. She was a girl with a gun in her mouth. We're watching, we're watching a girl do this, this is a haunted house for the Wisconsin family and a gun in the mouth, a gun pulled out and they hit, they turned off the lights and the water splashed down so that you as a viewer feel like you have blood on your face.

Oh, I was 16 years old. Oh my God, that's traumatizing, it was very traumatizing and at the end you meet Jesus. Oh, we agree with the great God if I have to go through everything I need to be free for Jesus and then take it to a Good dinner, you know, what I find fascinating is that I have been reading a lot of articles on the web and the Most of Gen Z considers cold calling completely hostile and aggressive to some of you, you know what they like? send a text like hey are you available to chat or whatever and then call which to me is crazy?

It's me, me and my close circle of friends are pretty. Sometimes I will face it coldly. in their neighborhood I'm just going to walk by and I said oh no, it's okay, don't just knock on the door, it's a matter of respect, you might as well kill my whole family before you do that and guess what it was really like when I was. Growing up, my mother had to deal with our neighbor, super nice people, very nice, but they were the type that wanted to show up when they were having tea, you know, without warning. My mother was like, "No, we don't do that, you're not coming here." which then started a risk, so we became like, you know, don't talk to us, the moody white yoga family and we loved, oh, what's your favorite emoji?

Let me see your wait, grab your phone, let's see your most used emojis, I want the truth. It's going to be interesting to see the boots that mine will probably identify a psychopath, yeah, like what's the last ten, let's say, okay, so thumbs up, applause, I use applause and then this one, oh, really, yeah, and then the hands in prayer, the sun and then. a check mark, I'm very positive, I love the check mark, yes, I'm fine too, I don't know if I'm a murderer, but mine are skulls, aha, I have that knife, yes, my head is exploding, okay? ?

It's pride, so rainbow, ugh, no, okay, oh, I don't want to be a perv, but the water spring, I think if you're gay and you're talking about sex, it's like why don't you come sprinkle water , girl? Do I ever remember being confused by something like hahaha brbe? I remember originally thinking lol it was a lot of love oh me too yeah yeah a lot of love yeah me too which is I'm an idealist I guess the world is so full of love what's up with the people who send text messages? lol when you know they're not laughing they're sitting like that yeah it's best for people with normal laughs to be like I'm laughing and as someone with a difficult laugh I'm like I know you're not very hard I know you're laughing and it's probably very attractive when you do it okay, I have a personal question sexting no, absolutely not, I like it, I like cheating the system, I used to have a picture of me blowing bubbles, if you'd be like I had a picture of me of a guy, it would be me blowing bubbles, I thought that was really funny or the chimpanzee bubbles, although yeah, absolutely, oh my god no, I was going to say I don't have many. of time I have a lot of time but my time is precious I love my time I love my life and I love myself like I'm not going to sit here and try to write a third rape, damn young, like a romance novel for you, I'll go on my computer do that and I'll sell it do you like to improve yourself do you like to get funny do you say that absolutely not absolutely not I'll just send you a link to my website do you like jokes? well yeah I do it because that's pertinent information I need to see that the area I'm about to stick my face in for 45 minutes is to my liking it's too legit to leave it yeah because if it's time to hit there down, I'm not going to bat, no, seriously, so like I need to know, I don't care, it doesn't need to be clever, I just want to see a clearly well-lit picture of your brain right now in five four, yeah, you have three seconds , I love photos, I love art. of that, um, I heard a background, well, there was a website that I followed and I loved where they would judge the kicks, not only not the composition, the lighting, yeah, the lighting, oh, they are notoriously bad photos than the straight ones, oh , straight, the deal, guys.

It looks like the last photo of them taken alive. I ship things without my face and I don't have any tattoos. You have tattoos, but I don't send nudes. You love it so you want to see her whole butt, but you won't. I don't send nudes, I probably don't want people, yeah it's three inches long on a good day, you know what I hate, but thanks, it's just showing so wait a minute, do you ever take the photo? People want the photo and it's you. everything back and I have it I'm just asking that it be a very specific request I love sending a photo and although I am passive, it's just not my vibe to send ass or ass, it's a big dilemma if someone comes to my house and they are again, It's the Amazon down there, I won't go near it, yeah, I won't go near it, even if they come from the jacuzzi, I won't go near it, you know, yeah, well, sometimes.

You know like you've been dancing all night It's like, let's take this to the shower, oh, where can I clean you up, you're dirty, I know I love that you word it like, Let's get a little more comfortable and get it wet, let me brush it rubber yours I'm going to shine the pad, yeah, your epidermis off, yeah, energy, you should use a pressure washer, just stand against the brick wall, the fire hose, well, I'm a different person now, sometimes I just don't respond, you know how? a thought think about it and if it's me you probably won't send it like i'll think twice oh yeah ask what the question is in french please civilized use of the game wow help me with a fair and tweet some tweets the ones you are referring to. each other like trixie and katya, which is brian, is that weird? having the same name hashtag will help me uh she calls me and I call her that's a very good question if I'm in public I'll call you brian and always in drag drag names yeah yeah outside of drag we say boy names right yeah , you are the only person I do that with and we are also the same manager.

Sometimes I say like the other Brian, yeah, check with the other Brian, yeah, like in public, even if I'm trying to impress a guy and someone says tricks that aren't like castrating, yeah, except for boys, I'd also say tricks yeah tricks or um bry brian yeah and tricks are foreign and no one's name is trixie so that's it It's not even embarrassing either it's not like you're calling me pamela right susan good question I love that question oh my boyfriend he's been using trixie's swedish voice since the clarinet episode how can i get him to leave the hashtag?

Well help me, it's a gift, sorry, yes. I mean, you say trash, I say treasure, so you need to flip the script. Can I share a little information about that? We actually did something with some of the Klarna people and they liked it, they liked it and I was like, What did you guys think of the Swedish accent? And they said we liked it. Even though I wasn't Swedish, yeah, yeah, like I was German, but whatever, yeah, they said it was fun, but you couldn't play my accent like me. I love a tank thank you people say that all the time what do we say um oh the people uh they want you to do the shop yeah once or twice the face yeah I said okay um I don't know what act I am I'm going to go to a country in somewhere and start a country and they'll say what accents they're speaking, yeah, pedestal, it's like I smoke weed and watch Bull Rat and then listen to Abba because I love, like Abba, how they speak English, but even when singing it's like um you can hear the accent singing so there are some Russian singers that I do if they have a song in English I delete it from my phone you're not here for the lips I don't listen to it's a every night and every day put it out from here it's horrible apple it would be like um it used to be so cute it used to be everything is fine and that's where I think I understand it I like that yes I do it anyway I think your boyfriend is very lucky to give you entertainment, yeah, kill this newspaper, I haven't, I still haven't seen Greece, the pl, the musical movie, it's funny, that's the hill I'm going to die on, yeah, it definitely holds up, it's eternal, eternal and olivia. newton-john is transcendentally beautiful and her voice oh my god remember how soft she was on panel i was literally 10 feet from her she's like next olivia newton she was safe i didn't hear a thing yeah It's like what, yeah, well, good to see. you, this could have been a text message, this could have been an email, it should have been a text message, it should have been, you know, I was telling Pete the new thing, this could have been an email , this could have been nothing, this could have been this.

It's never happened, I could never have met you.