UNHhhh Ep. 125: Toxic Masculinity Part 1

oh oh listen, this is my hawk hair, the never ending story, I don't know what it is, I think it's because I lost two pounds and got veneers, this is my tinplate smile, wait, where is it? I love you too if there is one more person on this channel mentioning that you miss my old teeth. I want you to go back to one of your comments where she said: I wish she would fix her brown teeth. Choose Elaine. Hello. I have bread, bacon in this oven. Mattel Taxi. And my yogurt has gone bad. weeks and welcome to the show where we talk about whatever we want because it's our show and not yours and later we're going to answer your questions, all those hot, sizzling, sexy, horny questions from your trembling genital mouths, have you ever personally felt? victimized, socially stagnant or completely oppressed by the specter of

masculinity

that lurks in every corner of our society, I must tell you that without delving too deeply into my own relationship and our own boundaries, I have recently reared my ugly head in the world of apps and in 2020, it surprises me that we are still surprised that people keep saying calm mask, low key friend, who is a friend, what is the gym friend?

What gym do you go to? That it doesn't have enough people and in the end, fine, oh, we. I look a little disgusting in this lighting just as I started tearing up the massive community, some construction worker up there not on my watch, not on my watch, by the way, Jeff and Ron, I know they're rollin', I know they They're going to have to watch all of this, oh yeah, and I just want to give you something to enjoy the moment you walk by, oh, should we do a sweet charity look at this pregnant teen? Well, it's not a team, but no, I think there's a pregnant teenager there with teeth I made.

I don't know that she was pregnant with a 16 year old boy. I love that we're talking about being a mask and Pete had to go get a ladder. You better go up there. If there's a problem, you know producer Pete has it covered because he's the world of bums. Man number one, yeah, this external performative drag that's a mask, it's gross and funny, yeah, and we know you're ugly under that beard. Admit it, you're okay with that. There is the acceptable heterosexual type of work. I was like I was gay and I wasn't. I don't watch drag racing or listen to Katy Perry or whatever.

I'm, well, the first half of that is you. You are a master mask crusher. You would just choose them. I want an elf. I want a skeleton man who won't make a list when he. It scares me, but you're right, you're a mask for Mass Grinder, you just take the photo from down here and people think you're too blurry, look at this, I'm in a wig, look, do it, make a good mask. I'm sorry he's a construction worker. I look like Annie Wilkes from Misery. She is called limping. Ed Manny Wilks. You can come back? It's my crooked widow's peak.

Boy oh, she's really sliding back too. Ooh oh, I don't want to glue on wigs because. I'm too masked, but yeah, do you want to be someone who was like, oh, what was I doing in 2020? I was telling people that I was masked by the mask, yes you are going to be so embarrassed, that is the equivalent of being behind any civil rights movement, yes you are one step behind everyone else and that is very sad, it's very sad, but I mean, I grew up feeling like I had to do it, so you got over it, you're an adult, yes, but it persists, I guess.

I'm not being understanding enough because yes, you really hurt my feelings. No, I mean, I obviously have my own hang-ups, like coats, scarves, things I hang, I appreciate you, I'm going to hang you with a collar, finally, oh, wait, wait, wait. I'm not done, okay, let's continue. I want to talk about Madeleine Ashton. See, the mask for mass homosexuals is the people who can still quote that death becomes her. I think, although I feel like a lot of these people don't know who. they're okay and think about it we're colorful characters that I've been in the past I've been accused of being too much, which is crazy, too much of one's

part

y and um, when there's a real methodical um performance of

masculinity

like I remember trying to do it by calling like oh hi this is mr cook calling whatever you know that's my performative voice if I'm trying to invite someone from grindr like hey what's up you know what I mean like and then what's your drag voice?

Um, my drag queen, can I get you a glass of water that turns green? You need something? whatever, that's destructive and counterproductive and not good, yeah, it's okay to say extra points if you have a deep voice or like body hair, there's a way to say you like it, how about this? However, describe yourself, I don't understand, so on. a logistical thing in an app, why would you say no, I don't know this, no, no, that was just not clicking on those non-Asian messages, it's like, I mean, it's incredibly direct, okay, well, This person you know you'll never do it with, that's cool? they're telling you they're aspirational no women guys no fanatics don't stand up and know what you like is there another way to say mask other than um why don't they just say cartoon pilots yeah cartoon lumberjacks please yeah , squares? with the jaw, uh, groundhog, in uh, investment bankers, studs also stop saying friends, what's a hanging bud, but I think for these masks for mass gays they just need to take a chilling pill, relax a little, relax like me. master mouse really who is your favorite actress jennifer coolidge it's like yeah okay you're gay you're like you're suffocating yeah and you can too no need no one's acting which i had no idea oh. wait, that's what the name says, oh, I thought there was some kind of no to be able to identify the body, yeah, just in case, while you're down there, you know what your uh, what should they do?

The master mask is like this first. Everything, you have to stop saying it, stop saying it because all you have to do you might as well be saying that skinny girls just keep that stupid thing to yourself, even if you're sorry, you should be ashamed of it and not tell anyone, right? how about this? well I'm just being honest no no that honestly has nothing to do with it when it comes up in conversation you might be one of those people who says oh I stopped saying that because I felt like it was

part

of the problem yeah , like oh yeah, I used to use that word when I was a jerk.

I used to get messages when I didn't have a profile, a photo, or any description. Some people want the famous mystery fantasy door number three, really in Des Moines and now. It's time to answer your burning questions. I can not wait. I have a friend who thinks I'm too obsessed with musicals, so my question is how can I effectively hide the body hashtag? Will help me. What is too obsessed? A good question What is the level is it prevents you from eating or drinking musical theater is a connotation is annoying is nerdy yes great theater musical theater classy is theater do you love live performances and you like to sing I don't think there is anything wrong with that listen boy you're a Hofer you're a belt you love life don't be ashamed of it she's a prostitute and she loves her life wow yeah this is okay okay you've got rhythm you've got jazz you've got blues you've got I mean yeah he's doing like three point turns , you know, like in the grocery store at Gelson's, it's a little jarring, yeah, but that's my shirt, so your friend, what does your friend like?

These are probably the same people who are like, I can't believe this. you like musical theater but then they watch like every season of real housewives what's the difference people like what they like why can't you just let people live your piece but hey where do I hide the body? Although that's the second second question, where? It's the body that is kind of proof of a friendship although it's like if you would help me hide the body I would say what the plan is first um if it was like not to tell mom about the babysitter's dead situation yeah um oh yeah your babysitter is falls dead what are you doing?

I hate being I hate being pumped while she's hot I hate being Pollyanna I think it's a useless exercise to think that you're going to outsmart everyone who's looking for the killer of that person you did it go say you did it say you're sorry accept statement read a book in prison yes tag out I feel like a fat old man walking around my house sometimes I feel like the old man I feel like the supreme because we Live together in front of the camera The fatter you get The thinner eye Here up she's winning I'm losing She's going to bend your butt in half You're going to be invisible very soon People like it It's going to be great and so will it like if you're big and I'll be like that too wait, why am I am I shrinking?

Oh I have rickets in this scenario, I have rickets anyway, if you want us to help you, you can use the hashtag wow, help me on worldofwonder on twitter, serious inquiries only. suitable for demanding gentlemen who call, could I get you to speak with an Italian accent when I'm at the gym and uh and uh, and what if I, who first of all is the master of the mask, is disgusting, but pretending to be Italian is completely fine, so yes I have a gym buddy. I will do it and would you like to tell me to do something like no dewey no want no just no the words no no dewey no one