These Are the Signs of Dating a Psychopath

Dating someone new always starts with a first impression, but even if it's the best first impression ever, what will the relationship be like if that person is a clinical

psychopath

? How much can you read from that first impression? Here I really tell you how to detect. The

signs

of a

psychopath

when it comes to relationships and yes, sex, it's Dr. Seth Meyers Dr. Meyers, what is a psychopath? So a psychopath is someone who would test positive on a psychology test called the psychopathy checklist-revised, which was developed by someone named Robert Hare, so it's a specific psychological measure that includes many different areas of a person's functioning in life that will help evaluate if this person has psychopathic traits.

Many people use the term sociopath thinking that it is an appropriate term. I have spent years educating and training myself in psychopathy to get to the point where I understand that sociopath is not a clinical term when people use that what they are referring to is antisocial personality disorder, so antisocial personality disorder is a personality disorder meaning someone shows no remorse of guilt, has several factors that make relationships and functioning in their life in general difficult, someone who is a complete psychopath is even more severe than that so again they would need to be evaluated for something we call PCL or P CLR and there are several distinguishing characteristics, one of them is something we call callous contempt, so in their relationships with others they show a callous contempt they really don't care about the feelings of others, but it's not like an offensive form of anger of not caring it's like that it just doesn't compute, you know, so they show callous contempt they don't show remorse they're impulsive they're hostile they can be very aggressive keep in mind though, psychopaths aren't always necessarily murderers, there may be someone who is a psychopath who extorts millions of dollars in a banking scheme from someone.

I'm not going to name any names here but there. There are psychopaths of all kinds, but at the end of the day they don't care about exploiting others because all they care about is meeting their own needs. I have talked to other doctors about psychopaths and even in this example I hear them referred to them. Since men tend to be men, are there more men in cycles who are psychopaths than women? The research that we have on psychopaths is generally based on studies that have been done among incarcerated people, so we get those data sets from jails and prisons and all that, so yeah. research says there are more psychopathic men than women, what I would say is that there are more psychopathic women than we probably currently believe hmmm, no one thinks of a woman who isn't a psychopath, plus when you think about the way she looks men and women are socialized, children are socialized.

Get it on the football field. Girls are socialized to play well with other girls. I know, so at the end of the day, both men and women are human beings and have many of the same core elements. Let's absolutely talk about a hypothetical scenario. I'm at a party and someone comes up to me to start flirting with me and he's a psycho, but I obviously don't know what that flirting looks like. There are

signs

here in a social setting that this person may be a psychopath, so they flatter you. don't just flatter yourself you look great it's too much flattery they can't make you feel better they can make you feel like there is this connection between the two of you it's who knows where he's from it's like he knows you my whole life they can try to ask you very personal questions, questions that They seem too personal for a first or second meeting, now the person may think that you are doing this, that is a sign that you are really interested, that you really care about what you do.

What you are doing is trying to get a sense of what motivates you, trying to get a sense of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities because then they will use that to their advantage, so the psychopath is motivated primarily by power, life is a chess game, they are the perpetrators. and they are going to win there is no equality or intimacy with psychopaths they don't care it's a game they can be ruthless and they will win and they love playing it they don't know any other way that's the only option there is no options Wow, what would I do, but how do I do it?

Would I know if I'm being hit on by a psychopath or someone who maybe just had three margaritas and really thinks you know there's something like that? When you ask that question you are not taking Kyle into account. the real instincts you have would be at work mmm right so let me give you an example. I might say something to you after I meet you over a couple of drinks with you. I could say something like you're one of the most beautiful people I know. I've seen it in my entire life mmm that wouldn't feel right, that's weird, yeah, if I'd been like you, you're beautiful, yeah, that feels more normal the way I said it, it makes you feel like it's A line. of a movie it's like they've studied it, they're saying the words but they don't feel an emotion to match that, so that's the most important point for the audience to understand regardless of the details or the mechanics. and the interaction something about the interaction left you feeling a little uneasy or a little distrustful so why don't people follow that instinct and say man, you know I'm flattered?

I'm going to go for, you know, because the people who end up falling prey to the psychopath are in a vulnerable place in their life they feel alone mm-hmm they've started to wonder if someone could really be attracted to them maybe they feel too old too fat you know, many psychopaths will They take advantage of the elderly They take advantage of rich people They take advantage of sad, depressed, lonely and isolated people. They are great objectives. You know it, as any of us do, when our defenses are down, when we are not in a place in our lives where we feel really good about ourselves.

In the board, we are more likely to make bad decisions when a psychopath uses sex for power rather than sexual gratification, so sex and the psychopath are a unique dynamic compared to anyone else and the relationship they have. with sex, so when a psychopath has sex it is not for the same reasons, for example, research shows that, as a general rule, psychopaths tend to be more promiscuous, they tend to have more romantic relationships and shorter ones. Psychopaths will be motivated to have sex for any of the following reasons: Boredom because psychopaths have sex. Central nervous systems seek excitement, rush, so psychopaths may seek sex regardless of whether they are married or whatever, because they need the rush to defend themselves from boredom.

Psychopaths may seek sex as a means to achieve something, it is the person they are. have sex with them they know there is a nice place and the psychopath doesn't have a place so the psychopath might want to move to that place so it's always for a reason it's often boredom it's for power it's for money it's for a situation housing is always for a purpose and as much as the psychopath may act emotionally invested in sex and act, I mean, we are talking about circus sex, psychopaths can give you the best sex of your life, but it is a performance, it is a performance designed to achieve. psychopaths something they want and it's not intimacy oh that's the first time I've heard the term circus sex only from a seemingly good psychopath so if you find yourself in a relationship with a psychopath you didn't listen to your instincts they got what they wanted and they left, how do you begin to heal from that well?

Healing after a relationship with a psychopath is not that different from the wounds it takes for someone to heal from a relationship with a severe alcoholic, addict, or narcissist; it takes years to trust again years this type of relationship is a trauma and one of the sad things is that after you break up, even though you didn't really do anything wrong, then you get angry with yourself. I was so stupid, why didn't I see you? telling people so and so turns out he was a psychopath do you know how many people will actually look at you but won't say it and think like you didn't see it, you know, so it's a lot of years you have to do?

If you have suffered a relationship with a psychopath, a severe narcissist, a severe abuser, you must tell yourself that it could have happened to anyone, that you will learn from your mistakes, that you will be in better contact with your feelings. Go ahead and make sure your next partner understands exactly what you went through and what intimacy you will have in your next relationship that you didn't have in your last one. Well, that was my next question. I'm thinking about the person who is

dating

someone who previously dated a psychopath, what do they start doing to let them know?

Hey, I'm not like that. I'm not just using you, this is not for power, especially when psychopaths made it like this. perfectly, I don't know if that happened to me, I don't know how I can trust someone again, so if you're in the position of

dating

someone whose last relationship was with someone like that, you have to understand that that's going to happen. be the white elephant in the room for a good few years in this relationship. Wow, it's like you can start a relationship with someone who is depressed or has bipolar disorder or who just started recovering from alcohol or drugs six months ago.

You can have great relationships. but it will be part of the relationship, you will have to deal with it, you will have to figure it out together when the person you are dating becomes active and tries to turn you into that person who is the psychopath. that's the severe narcissist, etc., you don't need to react emotionally, so just say: I bet I really didn't mean to. I really, really love you. I'm not going to try to hurt you and then they say yes, but you just press pause and give them some space, they're going to be dealing with the effects of that psychological trauma for a long time, so you're going to have to deal with some of that, but it's not Your job to deal with everything and get it. too involved or reacting to every bit of this will drag you down won't be good for anyone yeah that's understandable, really fascinating and I'm sure a lot of people will be a little more aware the next time someone comes and starts flirting with them when they are away from home in our next episode of our series on personality disorders and relationships that we are going to discuss with dr.

Myers, what you can do if you become obsessed or constantly fixated on a person or even one thing and his one quick trick to help you mitigate that problem from dr. Myers thanks for being here we will see you weak