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Narcissist, Psychopath, or Sociopath: How to Spot the Differences | Dr Ramani x MedCircle

Jun 06, 2021
(Kyle) What is the difference between a

sociopath

, a

psychopath

and a

narcissist

? To answer this intense question is Dr. Ramani. Help us here. (Dr. Ramani) Well, there is a lot of overlap, but the fact is that many people use these terms interchangeably. (Kyle) And should they be? No, they shouldn't, they are different things. Well. A general rule to remember from the beginning: every

psychopath

is a

narcissist

, but not every narcissist is a psychopath. Makes sense? That's the key difference. A narcissist is someone who lacks empathy, is grandiose, entitled, constantly seeks validation, and is arrogant. It is a self-esteem disorder and they have problems regulating their self-esteem.
narcissist psychopath or sociopath how to spot the differences dr ramani x medcircle
But when a narcissist does something wrong, he feels a lot of guilt and shame. Frankly, they have more shame than guilt because they worry about how others see them. Shame is a public emotion. So they don't like to be seen negatively by the public or other people; That's where the shame comes from. But they'll feel a little bad, like they cheated on his wife, "uuuh, I probably shouldn't have done that." (Kyle) Yes. A psychopath is a different animal. It's all of those things except: no guilt/no shame. They don't feel remorse when they do something wrong. (Kyle) Wow.
narcissist psychopath or sociopath how to spot the differences dr ramani x medcircle

More Interesting Facts About,

narcissist psychopath or sociopath how to spot the differences dr ramani x medcircle...

So they're, they're big serial killers, (Kyle) Oh! hired killers. People who are going to come in and literally destroy a business. These are your boys. They're like I don't care who gets hurt. They would say that and they would mean it. Well, where the narcissist says, “I hope no one gets hurt.” Well? The difference between the psychopath and the

sociopath

is one that most people get confused about because the sociopath is a lot like the psychopath: he does bad things and they don't care. Well? Here's the key difference: a psychopath is born and a sociopath is made. (Kyle) Mmmm Okay, that's the key.
narcissist psychopath or sociopath how to spot the differences dr ramani x medcircle
In fact, a psychopath, as we know from psychopathy research, which is also called antisocial personality disorder in our diagnostic manual, is people who are actually believed to have slightly different autonomic nervous systems. Our autonomic nervous system is actually the part that contains our sympathetic nervous system, which is our fight or flight system. So when our autonomic nervous system, for a normal person, becomes charged, which would happen if we broke a rule, if we did something embarrassing or rude, if we ran a red light, our heart starts to race (Kyle) Uh mmmm we sweat , our pupils dilate, we look around us because we are afraid of the consequences.
narcissist psychopath or sociopath how to spot the differences dr ramani x medcircle
A psychopath doesn't have that same type of excitement. That's why they can lie on lie detector tests. That's how they get away with it. They don't have that same kind of excitement. So where you or I can ride a roller coaster and feel that feeling of excitement, we should achieve that excitement in a good way. We don't like to feel sorry when we do something wrong. They don't feel it. (Kyle) So they get stressed? No, not in the same way. (Kyle) So if they're driving, (Dr. Ramani) Mm-hmm because if I'm driving and I see police sirens behind me.
I mean it's a complete, "Oh my God, I can't believe they're going to arrest me." (Dr. Ramani) Oh yes, you are not a psychopath. But a psychopath would see that and say, "Oh, they're going to arrest me." Well, this could be, they could have a body in the trunk and they wouldn't show it. And then they stop, they give them the ticket and they don't... care? No, they don't care. (Kyle) And they pay the fine? And believe it or not, they'll probably even get a lawyer to get it out or say yes, you know, as I understand the state laws, you really can't be doing this and they'll be as cool as possible.
And this is, this is a difference in their... composition? They are actually how your nervous systems and brains are wired. In fact, there has been some interesting research done with PET scans where you can see brain function and what they have shown... (Kyle) Just a clarification, not "pets" like dogs and cats, P.E.T scans. No, that's positron emission tomography, brain scans, that show how the brain works, so to speak, and what they see is that the section of the brain that serves empathy, it doesn't light up naturally in them. And you can teach them to be empathetic for a minute, but it doesn't last.
Many psychopaths who commit violent crimes end up in prison and those who commit more white collar crimes, I guess, end up being multimillionaires because they are willing to do very, very hard things in their businesses and get through, for example, a leader poster or something like that, calling for the murder of other people. Now, their interesting counterpart is sociopaths. Psychopaths are born. They tend. . . his belief is that it is very possible that they did so. . . this could be genetic. In fact, psychopaths often have parents who have many antisocial tendencies. It is now a little more difficult to determine how much is learned and how much is genetic.
But we do see that there is that difference in your true psychopath. They also tend to be, they have a very simplistic and superficial charm, they tend to be very intelligent. That's why they get away with it. If they really were. . . (Kyle) So they have learned behaviors to assimilate into society. But there is... it's all a facade. (Dr. Ramani) Oh yes. It's all a facade, they are SO charming. (Kyle) So if they are born this way, wouldn't a three year old get stressed if he got scared? (Dr. Ramani) Maybe not (Kyle) That's amazing. So what we see when we diagnose antisocial personality disorder, which is kind of the equivalent diagnosis of being a psychopath.
To get that diagnosis you have to have shown a pattern before the age of 15 of things like: truancy, violence towards other children, theft, skipping school, (Kyle) AND not feel bad about torturing animals, starting fires. They just do it. They don't care and that's before they're 15 years old. So it's a long-standing pattern. That is what makes us call them psychopaths or with antisocial personality. Now, this is different from sociopathy. (Kyle) Yeah, okay. Sociopathy, they are very similar to the psychopath. The difference is that they were made. So this... some examples here... the kid who grows up in a very, very, very, very tough neighborhood and learns to criminalize to get ahead or learns to be a bully or, you know, gets involved in something like that. like wrong kids and use a lot of muscle because that's survival, but they... it's not always necessarily comfortable for them.
They just learn it. It's the person who grows up with a parent who teaches them the business and teaches them how to break the rules. (Kyle) They, but they, they don't, they, would they feel, would they start sweating and would their heart race if they were stopped? Could. Maybe they won't feel as good about it... they'll feel a little more uncomfortable with it, but over time they'll learn it and that, that... Which is almost like, they, they're trained not to be like it wakes up. . Listen, if you broke enough rules, if you lived under certain conditions of anarchy long enough, you would adapt to that "new world order," so to speak. (Kyle) Um mmm, um mmm.
That's what the sociopath does and that's why he's the person who said, "Actually, he was a great kid until he got to high school and then it seems like he fell in with the wrong kids." That feels more like the sociopath. (Kyle) Wow. (Dr. Ramani) Well, that's almost like training that can happen within the family, within their community, and even within the job that they get. In some cases even, within some type of military training. Have you had sociopaths and psychopaths as clients? No not really. They don't usually come to therapy. They don't see any benefit.
The only time you would tend to see psychopaths or sociopaths come to therapy with any consistency is if they did so under court order. So... I thought you were going to say couples therapy. No God no, no. No, it's because they have a court order, so the judge will make that a condition of their release or they're inside prisons and jails and they're getting some treatment there. This is incredibly fascinating to me. If a psychopath goes to jail, doesn't he mind going to jail? In a way, it becomes a cost of doing business. You know, but it's also... them, no.
They are not happy with that. There was... Psychopaths, and to some extent sociopaths, don't think about consequences. That's why they commit really dumb crimes, like robbing a liquor store. Basically, "I need a hundred and fifty dollars. There's a liquor store here. It's open. Let's go get the money." So it's like they act first and think later. Therefore, they often do not plan in terms of consequences. That's why they have a tendency to lie, cheat, steal, and tend to have very inconsistent work histories, because they can't hold down a job. (Kyle) Yes, of course. They use aliases...
It's definitely more of a scam space. So, we've talked in previous videos about how to cope while dating a narcissist. If you date a sociopath or psychopath, is there a way to deal with it or do you just have to get out? You are in trouble. In reality, it could be a very dangerous relationship. (Kyle) It sounds like this. Yeah, actually you know, even with the narcissistic piece, um, I do, I've researched and worked in the area of ​​domestic violence, or what's also called intimate partner violence, most people who perpetrate domestic violence They are narcissistic or psychopathic and so, then there is a danger there.
In other words, they will get rid of you if you get in their way. I want to share a story with you to get your feedback. A friend told me this and she told me that in college she dated a guy for a year, but the guy started getting a little weird and they broke up. Over the next year, he courted her and did everything she wished she had done the first year: he showed up on time, he brought her gifts, blah blah blah. They started dating again. He was perfect for a year. He...they went to Thanksgiving at her family's house, he was perfect for her parents, he just became the perfect man for her because he knew what she wanted.
And after a year, on her first anniversary, he broke up with her and told her, "I've been playing with you all this time because I wanted to crush your heart." (Dr. Ramani) Yes. Actually, I am not. behave this way." Or: "This isn't real, I've been pretending for a year just so I could crush you." Would a psychiatrist...? That's more psychopathic, you know, or is it more likely sociopath, you know, um. But if they don't have empathy then...why would they want to hurt someone? Because, because, empathy, empathy isn't, empathy is a positive emotion. Okay, wanting to hurt someone is a very antagonistic emotion.
Wanting to hurt someone on some level might even give you some pleasure - power, for sure. It's interesting to me that someone can't be empathetic but then want to hurt someone because to me you'd have to have empathy to even know. what it's like to hurt someone. (Dr. Ramani) No, there's a difference between empathy and understanding: (Kyle) Oh, that makes sense. (Dr. Ramani) That's why psychopaths are great salespeople, because they understand people. person, they can read it and immediately say, “I understood your vulnerability.” I'll make you buy a car. (Kyle) Got it. Psychopaths are great salespeople.
Car salesman, timeshares, all that, all those things where they upsell and sometimes almost take advantage of someone, making them take on more money and cost of something than they really should. But no, no, no, he was capable of being superficially charming. Psychopaths and sociopaths and narcissists are great chameleons. They are definitely capable of changing the situation to get what they want, and psychopaths in particular and sociopaths are, they see the world as an instrument to satisfy their desires. (Kyle) Hmm That's what it's really about, which is what... it's horrible because they often discard a partner when they don't use them much or expect them to have a very specific role.
So, maybe they married her and she had her children, now, she will have to put up with her affairs because they want something else and too bad if you don't like it, this is the new world order and I will destroy you in court. It's that kind of thing. That's crazy. (Dr. Ramani) Yes, it's chilling. I want to leave it right there. I have learned more about sociopaths and psychopaths than I ever thought possible. Be sure to also check out our discussion on narcissism with Dr. Ramani. Thanks again for being here. For more information on all things mental health, be sure to visit

medcircle

.com.
There you can select your own list of your favorite mental health topics. It will be delivered to you exactly when you need it. I'm Kyle Kittleson. Thanks for watching.

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