The Marvel Cinematic Universe - All Movies Reviewed and Ranked (Pt. 1)

Hey guys, cosmonaut uncle, here now, I'm going to be honest with you right now, last year I planned to make a video called why the Marvel Universe sucks or the problem with the Marvel Universe and you know what something magical happened to me. to say I was going to talk about how all these

movies

are the same, how they're so unoriginal but I couldn't do it. You want to know why? because I watched Infinity War four times and you know what I would probably watch. for the fifth time, yeah, if anyone wants to go see it with me, I'm free all weekend, so you know what, I'm not feeling bad today.

I don't feel bitter, no, today we are going to do something different. We'll be nice or we'll try our best to be nice, so you know, today we're going to review every single Marvel Cinematic Universe movie ever made on this little flash drive. I have all the

movies

here, even the ones I really don't like very much now, before I start I'm going to have to set some rules, so listen up. I'm going to go in release order, which means we'll go from Iron Man 1 all the way. to Black Panther no, I'm not doing Infinity War because I literally

reviewed

that movie like a week ago.

Yes, I

reviewed

Black Panther and Homecoming in some of the other movies, but we'll review them to see if my opinion has changed at all because I've actually only seen most of these movies once and have never watched any of them again. You should probably buckle up because I think this is going to be the longest video yet, so let's get things started. dive right into Iron Man 1 Iron Man one actually isn't that bad. I mean, go figure, he's actually pretty good now. I will be honest with you. I never liked Iron Man that much. I don't even like him in the comics.

I'll be reading new Avengers and everything is dark and depressing and Tony Stark is here making jokes and ruining everyone's mood. Listen man, you really gotta grow up. Tony Stark is huge and it took like eight years for the movies to realize this. Now this is before Marvel movies became goofy and goofy, so instead of being funny, Tony is kind of a jerk, you bully them. My God, you are a woman. When I saw this movie, I didn't like it at all, but I also liked it. 15 at the time, I guess I'm not going to do the math, so I wasn't that critical of movies back then, but to be honest, that's not really fair because this movie is actually decent, look at this movie in context today's current is quite nice.

Fun in the new movies Tony is basically invincible, he has robots everywhere, he never seems to be in much danger, compare this to the first scene of this movie where you can clearly see how he reacts when he is in a helpless situation that he doesn't even need . Put on his suit in the new movies because it's kind of grafted onto his skin and just like in the comics, so scenes like this are really fun to revisit. He remembers when it took him a while to get everything done. Remember when he could barely fly. I mean, I think the new Ironman thing is great, but I've also gained appreciation for this movie just because it's so cute in comparison, plus the story is also interesting to a point, the first act takes its time telling the story of how Tony getting out of captivity takes him a long time before returning to the United States and that's a good thing, it makes the situation feel more desperate and terrible.

Tony returns to society with a new perspective on life and offers a little form of character art. We have a lot of scenes where he makes his first costume, I remember in the superhero movies when we had montages of the hero making his costume and training. Yeah, I missed that too quickly. I loved the scene when he returns to the Middle East alone to exactly. his revenge against the terrorists who kidnapped him earlier in the movie as if he went crazy, he is a savage in the scene, however this movie is not perfect and that is because of the third act, it is horrible, the last part of this movie it goes down the toilet.

It's tough, this is because of the giant robot Jeff Bridges, this movie drops the ball by making Jeff Bridges the main villain, his motivations are there yes, but this is not the kind of movie that needs a dumb super villain and big with a giant robot suit in his plan too. It makes absolutely no sense, that's because he doesn't have a plan, he just gets upset and then puts on the suit and tries to kill Tony and Pepper Potts. He also tries to kill a car full of innocent people. Don't know. understand his plan, he wants to take over Tony's company, but doing things like this will only get you sent to prison, what are you trying to do now?

This is a problem that a lot of these movies have if we're being honest. most of the Marvel movies in this video will fall victim to the third act bullshit dilemma, so we'll give it a code name from now on, we'll call it the Jeff Bridges Evil Robot Problem or ER JB. long story short, anyway, despite the shitty last part of this movie, I think it's a pretty fun movie, it has some interesting characters, Coulson is really important which is weird but it's great, Tony and Pepper in They actually have the best chemistry in this movie of the entire series. they are fun action sequences and this movie has probably my third favorite ending in the Marvel Cinematic Universe just because they end this movie with Iron Man from Black Sabbath, they didn't have to do that but they did it, they did it for us 7 out of 10 no it's a bad coupon so the next movie is Incredible Hulk, yes The Incredible Hulk is probably the most out of place movie in the entire Marvel Cinematic Universe, for obvious reasons, it's the only one made by Universal and it has a super tone strange everywhere. the movie that makes it not feel like the rest of the movies in phase one Edward Norton was obviously replaced by Mark Ruffalo as Hulk for the rest of the movies and I think that's probably a good thing now that Norton isn't really bad in this. movie, but it's pretty forgettable, he doesn't really add anything interesting here, his delivery is a bit flat and boring, but for some movies that work, I'll change my answer, in fact, this is my real job as a scout master, true math teacher 55 in On the side of this movie, he just plays a normal guy.

The good thing about Mark Ruffalo is that he adds a little bit of a mysterious vulnerability to the character and adds a little bit of dr. Jekyll to the role, if you know what I mean, but throughout Norton plays a regular guy, you're the man and also Tim Roth is in this movie and he kills a dog. Now we're supposed to believe that Tim Roth is a highly trained super soldier. but then we see him shirtless and he has a serious case of dad bod. One strange thing about this movie that I should probably mention is that the soundtrack is strangely good, while Bruce Banner is hiding in Brazil, the soundtrack takes a lot. of unique percussion during the tense scenes and then there are really nice pieces of the soundtrack that make the film more enjoyable to watch.

It's sad that people haven't seen this movie because the soundtrack is actually pretty good, it's like the only good thing. The worst thing about this movie, to be honest, anyway, let's talk about the actual content of the movie. The worst thing about this movie and you've probably already noticed that the effects now look like garbage. Yeah, I was expecting some of these movies to have pretty dated effects. but most of them actually looked pretty good, except this one. Now the effects are even worse when put next to normal images and I'm not talking about having ugly CGI Hulk next to Arwen, that will obviously look bad, but every time the shot changes between a completely CG shot to a normal natural shot, it's really weird looking, it's super jarring, honestly this movie is at its best when the hulk isn't in it, which is a shame because it's a hulk movie.

It's also a shame because the actors are not doing a very good job. I don't really feel comfortable calling Liv Tyler a bad actress because I haven't really seen her in anything except that movie, you may have heard of her, however she is just horrible in this movie, she likes to whisper everything. his lines in this breathy, airy voice, but then there's this really hilarious scene where he starts screaming out of nowhere, what's so out of character that he likes this is the only time he screams, it's really weird, it's just a Strange movie like this in general. entire movies just weird, this is a really weird scene where the two main villains are talking and no one moves their mouth.

What's up with that? There's also a ton of fanservice and it's a little off-putting, like they thought people were going to walk into this movie and lose if they saw him holding a pair of purple pants, look how long this scene is for now, this movie has some kind of emergency room. JB Tim Roth turns into a giant demon and destroys the city but it's actually justified in the story and builds naturally, I mean he has no motivations because he's just a little crazy so this outcome doesn't even bother me that much However, the problem with the final battle is that it looks so bad that I can't.

I can even tell what's going on half the time, any word, oh seriously, I can't make this up. One last thing worth pointing out: there is no post-credits scene for this movie. This is the only one that doesn't have a post-credits scene. Tony Stark just shows up. like the last scene, I guess they weren't so sure about getting people to sit through the credits, so yeah, this movie is weird, get drunk and watch it with your friends, four out of ten, Iron Man 2 is boring, no I have a lot to say about this one, it's probably the most forgettable movie in phase one, the most important elements are the introduction of Scarlett Johansson and Tony replacing her heart with a new heart.

Sorry, circles, triangles are my new best friends, so Mickey Rourke is in this movie and he's not doing a very good job you want a Burton with my bullet I can get you a Ferengi den Berg Hitting my boy doesn't really happen a lot of things in this movie if we're being completely honest, I really like the scenes Tony is an emotional mess, but that doesn't really last that long. These scenes are a lot of fun, but I feel like the rest of this story should have been more cleanly woven around these elements. This should have been a movie solely about Tony, no. trying to die from heart shrapnel, that was really hard to say, Hart shrapnel, hard heart, instead we get this stupid plot about how the government is mad at him and Pepper is stressed about her new job, no, and Nick Fury is doing something and this guy is being a jerk all the time from Russia, he's the main villain and I hate him, you feel bad because that's how I feel, probably my main problem with this movie isn't the main conflict , let me try to explain it because it's a little weird and it's a little stupid, so the government gets mad at Tony because he owns a weapon of mass destruction, but he says it's okay.

I'm the only one who knows how to make Iron Man suits, so you guys don't have to worry about that. totally sure, then the government is fine, we believe them, that makes sense and then they leave them alone, first of all. I don't know how many of you live in America, but that's not how it works, so Mickey Rourke comes out and attacks. a bunch of people with this little whip machine and the government says, hey Tony, you said no one could make Iron Man's technology, we're so mad at you right now, you were full and now we're mad, except their little whip machine whip isn't really on the same level as an Iron Man suit like Tony, he's basically saying no one will have the resources and ability to do what I do and he was still right so why are they mad at him?

He wasn't lying, so the whipping plan is to get revenge on Tony Stark, so he goes out to the race track to kill Tony Stark, but Tony literally decided to go out on the track at the last minute like it was a spontaneous decision. I didn't know Mickey Rourke knew Tony was going to be out. Then Mickey Rourke creates this big army of Iron Man drones and they attack a bunch of people at Tony's big convention, so realistically people would be really mad at Tony now because it seemed like he was basically endorsing these things before they activated and he went crazy but now everyone thanks him for stopping the evil robot threat and the movie ends.

Why is everyone okay with this now? The government was literally mad at Tony because he lied, so I don't know, this movie is dumb and boring and I. It was like two good scenes, okay, four out of ten, let's see Thor. I like this drink. Another one, please understand. That's what he says. Alright. Whatever. Now this is going to be a personal thing because I really don't like this movie. Thor. one is my movie thatI like it less in phase one and I'm not saying that revisiting these movies lightly has been lovely and fun, but this movie really bored me like I really wanted to turn it off.

In this movie we watch Thor masturbate in the desert with Padmé for two hours while Loki complains about Asgard now you can notice this movie also has dutch angles, y'all know, I hate dutch angles, I hate these stupid ugly tilt angles, just film it like a normal person, look at these shots, even the establishing shots are dutch angles. It looks like an amateur did this. Anyway, let's get to the real meat of this movie. This movie features Thor before he started dyeing his beard, plus a supporting cast of people who aren't even in the movies anymore.

I love this. scene at minute 15 where Thor says: Hey guys, you are all my friends and the audience should really care about you because we are friends like friends, if you forgot to know that we have made Fandral Hogan, who directed. you enter the most glorious battles this movie has a lot to explain to the audience okay, I understand that I'm not saying that exposition is a bad idea, I'm saying that it has to be done right, like look at how they explain teleportation. with the Bifrost you just need to leave the bridge open, it would unleash all the power applied to us and destroy you.

I'm with your opponent, why wouldn't any of these guys know how the main teleporter works? It doesn't make sense for this man. he's explaining it to them they probably know this they're 15 thousand years old they know how the Bifrost works this is bad exposition and this movie is full of stuff like that so in this movie Thor goes around and kills some White Walkers for no reason. although his father told him that he couldn't be a psychotic maniac, so he loses the hammer and is expelled from Asgard for being a bad boy. Now here's the problem with Thor stories.

Thor is really strong, incredibly strong when he has it. The hammer is basically unstoppable, so how do you write a story about an unstoppable demigod? Well, you take away his powers and give him a human girlfriend to worry about, wait, what can a good writer discover, something new for Thor to take on the best. What Ragnarok did was knock Thor down a few levels. The four of the current Marvel Cinematic Universe are very different from the guy in this movie. He's kind of a big, dumb brute, but he also carries a lot of pain and determination with him now in the Captain America movies. and in the Iron Man movies, you see these characters' arc happen naturally in front of you with Thor, it's like they didn't even know what to do with him until Tyka showed up and was like, Amen, you're not doing that right, he's like you. do it, that's as good as that accent is going to be.

Sorry to disappoint you now, once Thor comes down to earth, this movie is completely different because now the movie is fun. I think this movie could be more interesting if they filmed all of them. the earth scenes in a different city New Mexico is not a good setting for an action adventure movie, it is a good setting for Breaking Bad the locations in this movie are really nice in CG Asgard or ugly New Mexico. I understand that's the point. like you're supposed to compare the two and at the beginning of this movie the setting hasn't really gotten annoying but it gets old really fast everything gets old really fast if this movie was like 30 minutes shorter I'd probably like it like this more in this scene Anthony Hopkins gets really bored with the movie and just falls asleep, that's just a test there too.

I think now is probably a good time to mention my favorite cliché in the Marvel Cinematic Universe because this is a cliché that I first noticed in this movie and has remained a staple ever since I called it the obligatory shirtless scene from the Marvel movie facing aboard the normal plane. Seven evokes a collectible pine tree. He will tell the kids 12 butter pens that the man who participates with the most ships will be an American fool. and butter break setup routine so you see if you ever wonder why I say these movies are all the same just check out that montage thank you now it's hard to hate this movie because it's definitely a personal preference for me this movie.

It's everything I don't find funny about these movies. I'm of the opinion that Natalie Portman is not a very good actress, that's just me, please don't yell at me for saying that, I just feel like she's always hiding something. Her performances and this movie, her character also bothers me a lot. She's supposed to be like a smart scientist, but she's really stupid. Any sane person would never talk to or hang out with Thor because he's a crazy person and you think you're just going to do it. come in, grab it Stephanie, come out, no, I'm going to fly like a normal Earthling, this guy would look crazy, but she thinks he's cute, so she leaves it all like an Einstein and Rosen bridge, more like a rainbow fish.

Oh, crazy. baby, he's clearly crazy. I don't know why you think otherwise. I love how jeremy renner is introduced in this movie with a little cameo and he literally does nothing like climb up on his little perch, draw his bow and that's it. That's all he does and I know people go crazy for Loki, but in this movie he's kind of unintentionally hilarious. I don't know, I know this is super personal, but I think he's just as dumb in this movie as he is when he throws himself around. the black hole at the end of the movie.

Now I really laugh. I could nitpick and complain about this movie all day, but I think you get the idea. I just don't like this movie it's not as bad as Thor 2 but it's still not very good 4 out of 10 um next up is Captain America the first guy now I thought I liked this movie I really liked it I thought which I liked when it came out, I remember for some reason I enjoyed it, I think I was high because this movie is really bad, it's not horrible, it's really not the worst movie of the bunch, but it has some really dumb things in it.

The thing is, it has some really impressive elements in the first half, but once Captain America rescues Bucky in the middle of the movie everything goes crazy from there and I know I said that most of these movies end up going crazy in the third act, but this time I'm serious, this movie goes crazy now, the things I like about this movie is that the first half is basically a character study of Steve Rogers. You follow him on this super intimate personal journey. You see his ambition and his frustration. It's that really good scene where he jumps on the fictional grenade because he thinks it's real.

Oh really. it's a natural instinct to just die for everyone else, that's beautiful. I love the scenes where you see him dressing up as a mascot for war bonds, how he gets frustrated by the fact that he can't actually help and make a real difference in his romance with Peggy is kind of cute because you can tell he really can't. He knows how to talk to girls because he doesn't realize how sexy he is now. I tell you that the first act of this movie is so good that I really wish the whole movie was like this, if you ask me, Captain America is the most interesting person in the entire series, he is the only character whose personality never changes because his personality is already perfect, that could be the subject of a really interesting movie, but all these movies are just Action movies are like spy movies or dumb big explosion movies, they never work to focus on your character and that's really disappointing for my.

This movie really has a bad case of ERJ B. This movie is seriously bogged down by the red skull. goes from being a heartfelt, introspective story to a silly, over-the-top explosion movie, it's like they thought it would be too boring if it were just about Steve Rogers learning how to find his place in the world. I mean, I wish this movie also had the same problem as Thor 1, which is the stupid useless side characters. I can't be bothered to worry about these stupid, useless people wait a minute, what was I saying anyway? This movie leads to Cap staying in the modern world, which is still a really cool ending, plus even though this movie sucks for about 50% of the runtime, it still has my favorite ending of the entire In-Universe period.

Marvel Cinematic, that last line gives me chills, it's that good right before Steve crashes, he finally lays out plans. Taking Peggy on a date is really touching because we spend a good amount of time establishing these two as a couple even though we know they won't get together for a week next Saturday at the Stork Club and then when Cap wakes up in the future gets a little crazy and this is how the movie ends you'll be fine yeah it goes black tell me that's not powerful that's the best ending ever and this is the most annoying thing about this movie it has so many good things. in it, but they hide, they hide under fools 5 out of 10 wasted potential, what do I have to see now?

What are the Avengers? Oh, okay, if you ask me, this is when these movies got good. I remember when this movie came out and everyone and their mom saw it it started a revolution it changed superhero movies I think this is probably the most important superhero movie of all time you want to know why Avengers 1 is so good it's good because it's not very well this movie is cheesy Damn, I remember when I was at the theater on opening day. I seriously thought the first five minutes were horrible and I still do. The beginning of this movie is strangely terrible.

In fact, I remember my face when the title card appeared. I was looking at my friends. I was like guys I think this movie I think this movie might be bad this movie is dumb, it's cheesy, it's stupid and somehow it's really awesome look at these boring color grading shots everything is lit like a bad TV show the writing in some of these scenes is abysmal we need a plan an attack I have a plan of attack mm-hmm by all accounts this movie should be bad but somehow it isn't because this movie has the opposite problem the other movies have This movie kind of stumbles in its first few steps, but then picks up speed pretty quickly once the fancy party scene happens.

This movie is much more fun and creative. I like that little scene where that old German guy doesn't kneel. Loki who didn't have to. be in the movie but it's cute, I like it, I like it, the writing is boring most of the time, but it really reminds me of a comic. Cheesy lines and all. I think most of the writing is pretty decent, in some ways it's like my third or fourth time I've seen this movie and there are still lines that make me laugh, he's not that thing, although guys like Stephen Hawking, the actors main actors are also doing a fantastic job, it should be illegal for so many top actors to have such good chemistry with each other.

I love how Bruce Banner paces nervously throughout the entire movie as if he's afraid of accidentally bumping into something and exploding. These characters are what make this movie not shit without them. You have a pretty normal action movie, but these characters. elevating it to the funniest superhero movie of all time. I've always been of the opinion that fight choreography and Marvel movies are pretty bad, they're usually lacking, really lacking. Everyone knows I don't like DC movies, but at least. The action scenes are well choreographed and well filmed. The main thing is that you can really feel the impact behind his attacks in those movies.

You really feel like they haven't been in these movies. The camera moves very fast and the attacks barely connect with you. You can see here that this guy is incapacitated by the floral scent of Scarlett Johansson's hair, but this movie also presents something that the DC movies don't have combo attacks or team-ups, something that these movies lack in individual fight scenes, they shine when the characters are fighting. each other or fighting each other this movie features that and these team fights are always among the best parts of these movies even the movies I don't like have some really funny scenes because of this as a result I'll take that over this any day and that's why this movie works these characters are cohesive they work together we like them because they're fun to watch well there's a bad joke or the story doesn't make any sense people don't care because it's just it's fun to watch these people do things that are the works of a seller for that reason.

I was going to make this video complaining about these movies at the end of the day. When it comes down to it, when they're bad, there's still a lot of fun to be had, just like the comics. It's a lot of fun, so that's it for phase one. I think about 25% of that experience was really good and this video is getting a little long and I drank a little, I drinka lot of things so I think I'm I'm going to take a quick nap, I set an alarm so don't let me sleep for more than an hour okay guys wake me up in an hour and I'll be done.

I'll finish the video. I'll talk about Civil War if you want. Isn't it night night?