The Dumbest Scene In Movie History

You know, usually when it comes to

movie

reviews it's better to focus on the big picture rather than obsess over the small details, but sometimes a

movie

comes along that is so monumentally terrible and the scale of the flaws and problems so vast that it's practically It defies any film critic's ability to adequately convey, unless you're one of those crazy individuals who makes 5 hour long videos talking about a single movie, anyway, that being the case, sometimes it really helps to break down a Terrible movie in smaller parts. manageable fragments of a certain character or event from a particular story or, in this case, a single three-minute

scene

the likes of which I have never experienced in all my years of media consumption, a

scene

that somehow manages to effortlessly coalesce into a soap opera. overloaded with melodrama, horrible acting. baffling creative choices and grandiose illusions of the classic story that feel more out of place than the movie Bob at a Salad Bar and does it all with such pompous, smug earnestness that it actually made me laugh out loud at the idea that the Creator probably considers it. a piece of cinematic art, you don't need me to tell you that the movie in question is Rebel Moon part two and the scene I want to focus on today is a flashback to a pivotal event in the main character kora's backstory because honestly, I think this scene perfectly sums up all of Zack Snider's major problems as a filmmaker and I actually joked at the open bar that you could spend an entire video taking him apart, so here I am making an entire video taking him apart anyway, let me set the scene . for anyone lucky enough to not have seen this piece Kora, our generic strong female character, was once a highly decorated military officer in some sort of Galactic Space Empire presided over by a benevolent royal family because you know super advanced pangalactic civilizations with cultures that have not progressed beyond the level of medieval feudalism is entirely believable, but the scene in question takes place during the commissioning of the newly completed, last and largest warship in the fleet, and the King and His family are there to supervise the ceremony, not knowing that they are actually walking into a trap set by his treacherous right-hand man Baerius and for some reason they have decided to hold the ceremony in the ship's boiler room of all places, I mean.

Call me crazy if you want, but you shouldn't. Can't something like this be done somewhere more comfortable and appropriate like the bridge where flyovers and all sorts of pumping and ceremony can take place or perhaps the emergency deck where there is enough space for the ship's crew to gather for inspect and listen to boring speeches while contemplating the horrible reality that they're all probably going to die in a slow-motion action scene performed by a pretentious aspiring director whose aspirations far exceed his abilities. Anyway, I digress, now you might think this actually makes sense because it all applies to getting the royal family out of somewhere and murdering them with as few witnesses as possible makes sense, right, the thing is, everything else in The scene completely contradicts this idea to begin with, the king doesn't seem even remotely confused about being brought here in fact, he seems quite pleased when he first enters the room, suggesting that he was expecting to come here.

He only begins to suspect that something is wrong when he notices that the ovens are not turned on. Where's Carly? Why aren't the ovens on? Oh yes, this super advanced warship capable of interstellar travel is literally powered by coal boilers. I have absolutely no explanation for how such a repulsion system could work and I bet Zack Snyder doesn't either. It also contradicts what we will see later. The movie where Kora goes to the real engine room, which appears to have a giant head as the engine core, gets even wilder if you're enough to venture into the rebellious Moon Wiki, where you'll discover that the dreadnots are actually powered by interdimensional gods known as khis, yeah okay, also the idea that Belisarius wanted to do this with as few witnesses as possible falls apart when you realize he brought his own orchestra especially for the occasion these guys will be here with the Bags on their heads, you're serious, ah, but Drinker, the bags are there to prevent them from seeing what's about to happen.

No, genius witnesses, well, not really, because if they couldn't see, then they couldn't play their instruments in the first place. and they actually alter the tempo of their music to match what's happening in the room so clearly that they can see what's happening. This right here is an example of someone trying really hard to incorporate diagetic sound into his film, and I'm willing to bet that's the case. something Zack Snider discovered right before making this movie he decided was cool and forced it into the script without stopping to consider if it actually makes any sense, but what exactly is diagetic sound?

You might ask, it's basically a soundtrack that actually exists within the world of the film that both the characters and the audience can hear, as opposed to non-diagetic sound, which is something that is added solely for the benefit of the audience to increase excitement or the drama of a particular scene. The closest example I could give you would be this scene from Titanic. where the ship's orchestra decides to play a final tune as the ship sinks beneath them, is intended to serve as a moment of poignant reflection among all the chaos and drama of the sinking because it is interspersed with several scenes of other characters who have chosen accept their destiny, the elderly couple who has decided to go out together, the mother who puts her children to bed for the last time, the captain who has given up on sinking his ship, the architect whose greatest creation has collapsed around him, people from all walks of life. life tied together by the same destiny and choosing to face it in their own way and in a larger sense, one can see this as the last moments of relative calm before all semblance of order and discipline finally crumbles and the last minutes of the ship become a frantic and desperate fight for survival.

It is a moment for the audience to pause and take a collective breath to step away from the overwhelming destructive spectacle and reflect on the individual human stories trapped within it. All of this is to say that diagetic sound when used correctly can be a quite effective tool in bringing the audience and characters a little closer and effectively establishing an emotional tone that feels consistent with the events taking place and works well in this case because none of it feels out of place or contradictory. We already know that the ship's orchestra is something that exists in this movie because we've seen them playing all night, so their appearance in this scene is completely consistent and logical and, in fact, this really happened on the Titanic when it sank After abandoning their positions the orchestra continued playing until they were swept away by the rising waters and died to the last damn man what a patronizing way to leave anyway I better stay here because I'm doing everything I can to avoid talking about this shitty movie, so Zack Snider obviously decided he wanted to do something similar with this movie because you know classical music is for smart people and he wanted his movie to be smart, hence the orchestra with the bags on their heads, but the question is why The The only reason to bring the royal family here is so that Bis Arus can assassinate them with as few witnesses as possible.

You don't need the orchestra to bring them into the room, they're just an extra complication you'll have to deal with. with later, but man, that sounds great right, Zach, anyway, it's time for bis arus to open his trap extremely slowly for him and the other senators or whatever they are to surround the king and his wife and draw knives in a world where laser guns do not exist. great plan, because Zack Snider probably read about the assassination of Julius Caesar by his own senators right before making this movie and thought it was cool, let's put that in my movie too, honestly I'm surprised the king didn't say they are two Bellis arus. right before he was assassinated, then it's time for Kora to contribute two, so he turns around and shoots what I assume are the king's bodyguards, which prompted another question from me, what were these guys doing?

As a group of men armed with knives slowly surrounded their King, they surely must have realized that bad things were about to happen. Oh, maybe they were enjoying the orchestra too much, so with the King and his wife dead, there's only one loose end left to tie up with the brilliant, magical girl who is the key. All of this work falls on Kora for some reason and leads to what may be the greatest line delivery in film

history

. Do it, no, kill her, do we have to put up with this? I mean, you know, can we get a better actor?

I know it's a small part, but I think we can do better than this. Where did they find this guy? So she kills the shiny, magical girl, but oh, no obvious bad guy does obvious bad guy things and betrays her because she wants to blame the whole murder. on her in her place and that's why he arrested her, oh come on wait, the king and queen were murdered with knives and Kora was armed with a gun, so how was that supposed to work? Why arrest her and take the risk that she might be capable? to get the real story out of her when you could just kill her right there and make up whatever story you want, why do your goons grab her arm but you don't actually take her arm off her?

I mean, you know she's just going to snap. free and ah, you know, I think my favorite moment of this whole scene is the fact that the orchestra keeps playing even though guns are being fired and people are screaming and it must be very obvious that not everything is going according to plan, like if A gunfight breaks out here in such a tight space, there's a good chance you'll get hit by a stray bullet, but no, keep playing guys, the band Titanic doesn't have any of this kind of dedication, so Kora has her dead serum. rights and instead of pulling the trigger and ending all of this here and now, he decides to just run away and leave a dangerous and powerful enemy unharmed for no reason, then he just leaves the room and kills two guys behind the door. because I guess she magically knew they were going to be there still playing music.

Hey? Also, how does a woman escape from a heavily secured warship with thousands of crew on board? Why don't they shoot her from the sky the moment she arrives? Airborne, why is all this happening? Don't know. I've said before that this scene perfectly sums up everything that's wrong with this movie and Zack Snider as a filmmaker, but it wasn't until I started really analyzing it that I began to appreciate the layers of lag. combining it almost nothing makes sense or follows a logical sequence of events and decisions, everything is just a collection of superficially cool but completely congruent things packed into 3 minutes of absolute madness and the fact that I had to spend so much time explaining all the problems Which I believe should give you an idea of ​​what a monstrosity the entire movie is.

It's exactly what happens when you allow shallow ideas and pompous self-importance to take precedence over cohesive writing, and honestly, you could practically use all of this. This is a case study in how not to make movies, take care, who would follow in Snider's footsteps anyway, that's all I have for today, leave now.