Super Tuesday In Space | Biden’s Biggest Competition | McConnell’s Final Act | NY Times’ Lousy Poll

welcome one and all to The Late Show I'm your host stepen colar yesterday for those of you who follow the political calendar yesterday was Super Tuesday which makes today Wednesday and the results are that Joe Biden and Donald Trump dominated Super Tuesday now for a rematch that everyone says they don't want. He is tremendously popular at the

poll

s. It's like the entire nation is ordering takeout and deciding okay, let's make the tie again, even though the new one sticks into a weird cube shaped like the box. come in as long as we all agree we won't have the bittersweet Nikki Haley now it was also Tuesday in

space

because hundreds of miles above Earth two astronauts cast their votes here are Jasmine Mcbell and Laurel O'Hara pointing to their makeshift booths voting and although there are only two, the elderly volunteer took 15 minutes to find their names in the register, let's see here, let's see here I have I have a comma constellation oryan is not okay, jar, comma, banks, no, it was a good night for Joe Biden, who achieved large margin victories across the country.

Well, that makes sense for Biden, everything has to have a big margin, an extra big font. Biden's

biggest

competitor wasn't actually a person. They were protest votes for not committing to his Israel policy, but there were also some people who ended up behind Biden, none other than Dean Phillips, seen here telling everyone who supports him. Phillips is from Minnesota, but lost his home state to Biden in a landslide and then took to Twitter. Congratulations to Joe Biden, the uncommitted Marian Williamson, and Nikki Haley, for proving more appealing to Democratic Party loyalists than me. Then he slammed the door to his room, attacked my chemical romance with Ro, and said he wasn't even hungry for dinner, but he could have chicken wings.

Phillips later added. Another more depressed tweet and Jason Palmer now you may be wondering who Jason Palmer is. The answer is yes, no one knows who Jason Palmer is. What we do know is that President Biden lost the Democratic caucuses in American Samoa to Jason Palmer, a previously little-known Longshot. Challenger yes, previously little known also currently little known I myself just recently found out that Jason Palmer is half Jason half lemonade apparently there you go, why not? I'm not rushing anyone. I'm not in a hurry to get home, take all the time you want. apparently this person Palmer exists because a quick Google image search reveals he's one of these guys, which this November America decides who he is Palmer was able to get 56% of the vote in American Samoa, while Biden got 44% woohoo where my friend Maniacs at I mean, come on, it's electric, this guy makes Dean Phillips look like Ryan Binkley and if you know who those people are, you're too involved in politics, go watch Dune or something now before I get you None of this is even remotely impressive. in mind, Palmer won the caucus with a high school basketball score of 51 to 40, not percent of votes.

The Associated Press describes Palmer as a Baltimore resident who has worked for several companies and nonprofit organizations. What an inspiring biography it reminds me of Obama's Memoirs, the dreams of my various businesses. and nonprofits after thank you, thank you After his victory, Palmer admitted that he had never been to American Samoa, but had been campaigning remotely via Zoom Town Halls, which explains his Palmer 2024 campaign slogan , hello Phil, you're quiet, Phil, can anyone? Unmute Phil Palmer appears to have focused exclusively on American Samoa by courting voters with videos like this. You're probably wondering who this Jason Palmer is.

I had never heard of him before. Well, on the continent I am very well known. Yes, oh, yes. real American Samoa, it is so well known on the mainland why here in New York or as we call it Palmer Vania, tourists come from all over to take pictures with Time Square Jason Palmer's and see the world famous Radio City Paul Mets what is this ? said we have breaking news at 1:00 this afternoon Dean Phillips ended his presidential campaign evidently wants to spend more time with his family reminding them who he is in his announcement Phillips endorsed President Biden's game yes it's over baby Biden Now adding the All Coalition Dean Phillips is also a great sleeping tent.

There were even fewer surprises on the Republican side, where Trump cruised to victory nationwide. He did especially well in the few states where he is not currently on trial after the

poll

s closed. focused their attention on the general election after Joe Biden, what happened with inflation has been incredible, many people say many experts have said that the San Francisco stock market is the only thing that is doing well and it is doing well because Our survey numbers are very high. taller than Joe Biden everything good is cu about me everything bad is cu about Joe the stock market me inflation Joe Taylor Swift me the children's car song Joe the laughter of little children that's me that little Amazonian fish that swims on your penis and shoots quills Jo and of course, said hello to all the interesting people in attendance.

This is an amazing group of people. There are so many celebrities that I'm not going to feature any of them because I'll get in trouble if I do that CU. I'll leave most of you out, he sounds like a high school kid pretending to have been kissed. Oh wow, yes. I've had so many girlfriends that I'm not going to name them all because I'm sure I'll forget someone, but wow. I mean, girl lips, they're like two hot dogs, so sexy and a little slimy if you leave them in the water for too long. Trump was on top, but there were some signs from voters that he won't have it easy. in November in North Carolina, even though Trump won the state, one in four Republican primary voters said they would be dissatisfied if Trump got the nomination really just dissatisfied, we're talking about an existential threat to the Republic, don't click on the frowning face in the airport bathroom, how come Gog ran out of paper towels?

Plus, despite Trump's dominant polls, he didn't get a clean sweep because Nikki Haley won Vermont, yes, Vermont, which means by law she gets her own Ben and Jerry's flavor, so stay tuned for half. well-crafted explanation of how slavery didn't cause the Civil War, but it still wasn't enough, which is why this morning Nikki Haley dropped out of the 2024 presidential race, for so long, America will never forget you oo I mean Ny Stanley nibbling on sticky snack hail Bop now notably Haley didn't endorse Trump but the rest of the Republican establishment is actually falling in line this morning Mitch McConnell endorses Trump that headline again the turtle endorses hair cute cute family joke it's a family joke wake up the kids tell that joke , this is a

final

cynical act of E Vil and the cowardice of a man who has made a cynical career out of it.

McConnell has already resigned from leadership and his parting gesture is to hand over his wrinkled blue ball jacket to the man who launched racist attacks. on his wife called him a dumb son of a bitch and a broken crow, that's right, that's right, Mr. President, it's me, Mitch, your dumb little broken craw, stop, how long was I gone? How long was I gone? What year is it now that the race starts? The country is looking ahead to November and there are some disturbing numbers, for example, this weekend the New York Times published a poll that showed Trump leading Biden by 5% among registered voters.

Well, now I'm less worried about the candidates and more. Concerned about the mental competence of voters, someone should give us a cognitive test, but don't panic because the methodology is so wrong that it led one member of the expert to observe that something is wrong at the New York Times, yes, something is wrong in the New York Times and it's called connections, let me understand this direct traitor and wind sock are words that end in clothes, but demand is not my streak should be 25 and you will hear from my lawyers, bastards, but another thing, but another thing that New York Times poll is a disaster found that Trump won the female vote by 1% when Biden outperformed women in 2020 by 11 points somehow I doubt Trump has won back more than 12% of women with its empowering message I'm a Rapist the poll is so wrong that it says 12% of Democrats support Dean Phillips, prompting Dean Phillips to tweet when a New York Times Sienna poll shows me at 12%, you better believe it's flawed, only 5% even know who I am, that's so sad.

He believes that 5% of people know who he is. We have a great show for you tonight. My guest is Mr. Dr. Neil. Tyson grass. When we come back, billionaires are billionaires. So difficult you won't believe it.