Regina George is my Queen ("Mean Girls" Movie Commentary)
hello and welcome into another
commentaryMonday this week we are doing
Girlswhich are just looking at the description for this
movieraised in the African bush country by her zoologist parents kinda reminds me of that Nickelodeon show with the redhead girl oh my god was that called Nickelodeon redhead girl what's her name this is the girl right here uh ha ha no it's not no it's not The Wild Thornberrys this is what I'm talking about man this girl here would be the Lindsay Lohan character this would be
GeorgeI guess this little rambunctious kid would be the stupid girl these are our parents right here let's give it a wash man I've seen chunks of this
moviebut this is not a reaction it's a
commentaryso it doesn't really matter I do want to go through it from front to back though for the first time and that's one of the big kids where to do that remember your phone number put it in your pocket I don't want you to know she's gonna be an adult right okay I think so yeah yeah this is literally the Wild Thornberrys oh my god the she's literally The Wild Thornberrys daughter with the animals in Africa I'm telling you man oh that's kind of cool cuz I know at the end that chick gets hit by a bus I've seen that part that's a cool Kovac when you watch the game you see that I've never seen the beginning guy this part Tommy oh my god that kid looks like he's man I don't know she kind of looks...
like she's a little bit older she looks like she's like 17 and he looks like he's 12 like oh my god I hope she doesn't smell my fart just hold it Jesus dude well he's every high school
movieit was a character the main character just doesn't know where to sit got no friends lunchroom scene so she eats in the girl who eats in the bathroom all dirty that's gross this is Damien he's almost too gay to function yeah like math Oh what's math for the plastics 13 royalty this is what plastics come from that phrase oh damn they got a map of where all people sits come on give him like Magic the Gathering or something like something really nerdy no one plays you know not even the Nerds it's not no it's not even cool amongst the nurse no one plays you know but you're family when you got nothing else to do you don't feel like dealing with each other's or your problems you just play you know you don't play in the cafeteria with the Asian friends cool Asians varsity jocks unfriendly black bodies black bodies that's a table I could buy into the nerdy Asians hot Asians jocks unfriendly black hottie unfriendly black hotties unfriendly is a part of their category Jason you do not come to 23 you can go shave your back now bye Jason suck on that Jason why are you wait oh my god Karen you can't just ask people why they're White what do we even talk about hair products Ashton Kutcher I love how this is dated by the reference...
no one's talking about Ashton Kutcher he's a cool dude he's a cool dude what that 70 show was like 15 years ago I can actually tell you the last thing that I saw Ashley cooks her in it was the Cameron Diaz one married in Vegas we got married in Vegas horrible
moviethere's something charming about it why am I getting kind of creepy vibes is this girl a lesbian for television what you said let me give you my card okay so Kevin Kevin the poor what high school students has a business card also a
moviefact if you guys don't know this but five five five as the middle number is there that's a number of reserved for Hollywood so if you ever see a number that's five five five and then four digits after then you know that it's uh it's a non-working number I'm sure nobody knew that I'm just flexing my film knowledge now it's in fact that literally everybody knows getting loser we're going shopping to guide you we're sure it's a little bit dramatic as if her character wasn't on the nose enough she has to wear a shirt that says I'm dramatic so really drive it home also it looks stupid all in pink like that where we got highschool
girlsyou're 23 you're going to jail bro I'm calling the cops if he makes a move give me your phone I got one I'm waiting for it I got my own word that I'm trying to make happen it's sanitary synonymous with cool less sanitary man make sure you check out her mom's...
boob job I'll check it out it's actually kind of interesting social
commentarytoo you got this little kid who's doing these provocative dances that she's seen on TV that's not a good thing parents don't even really care that she's doing that it's like subtle social
commentaryit was my parents room Lavigne that's an Africa beam poster you know before she got kidnapped and replaced it's our burn book didn't cut out
girlspictures from the yearbook and I rewrote comments amber D'Alessio she made out with a hot dog what amber D'Alessio she made out with a hot how do you make out with a hot dog I can understand like hot dog hey guys I got a quick little story for you as I'm editing in the middle of the night the reason there was a long pause in the last clip of me in the video was because I was considering telling the story but then the good part of me was like nah shouldn't tell that story it's
meanbut that part has since died off and I'm now gonna tell you a story about the girl in my high school and her hot dog experience don't worry it's a pretty short story but it's also sort of graphic in a fun way so there's this popular girl who was a grayble Oh me one night she was feeling lonely I guess is the right word and she decided to put a hot dog in the freezer and then masturbate to it unfortunately for this girl she wasn't intelligent enough to realize that putting a frozen hot dog into...
your oven your baby oven no that sounds oh my god no into your baby maker oven into your Easy Bake Oven anyways long story short the hot dog broke off in her easy-bake oven and she had to go to the hospital she went to the ER where she had a professional fish a hot dog out of her vagina now normally I would let that slide we all make mistakes all of them aren't hot dog masturbation related but we all have stupid things that we do the reason I bring this up is because a couple months later I was at a football game my friends we were watching the game and for some reason our paths crossed my path and her path they crossed and she gave me some attitude unwarranted completely unwarranted and then she like tried to scold me but her and I both knew that she had to have a professional remove a hot dog from her vagina there's no respect there I don't respect you if you have to call in a doctor to get a hot dog out of your vagina you can never be
meanto anybody ever again anyways back to the video oh my god that's miss Norbert shopping no no how we been shopping in this store for any period of time with no one else around and not see three of your students at the counter talking when I walk into a store I scan I stand for people because if I see someone I know I'm leaving immediately I didn't pulled into your high school conversation oh you just bought a house and you're getting married I don't give a Craig aren't you so mad at Gretchen for telling...
me yeah it was pretty but I'm not mad I
meanI guess she just likes the attention secret I told you she's not mad at you I can't believe you think I like attention see you tomorrow I'd survive my first three-way calling attack we're having a Halloween party my friend Chris's tonight you want to come it's a costume party people get pretty into it okay but flair okay prediction time because she's an outsider she's gonna wear something stupid you know she's gonna wear something funny stupids that are sexy like everyone else one night a year when the girl can dress like a total and no other
girlscan say anything about it oh so she knows okay so Lindsay Lohan's aware that she's gotta wear something sexy unfortunately no one told me about the scent rule so I showed up like this well be careful because she has a huge crush on you really how do you know haha because she told me she's like well why would you think he would he turned off by that oh the girl you like and the girl you invited yeah she likes you back but you don't like her anymore what she like writes all over her notebook mrs. Aaron Samuels and she made this t-shirt that says I heart Aaron but she's safe as Kleenex you used and she said she's gonna do some kind of African booty with it her plan is going really well like I would be freaked out too I don't care if that's true or not I'd be like yo I'm backing off yeah she looks like that what...
she looks so bad that is such a small TV oh oh wait wait wait there's Harry Potter on VHS they rented Harry Potter on VHS that's how all this
movieis this guy right here director comes up to him like hey man you're gonna be an ape for this scene yeah just go ape okay - here you go one for you and none for Gretchen wieners bye thanks for being such a great friend love
Reginathat's a good plan man once Gretchen thought
Reginawas mad at her the secret started pouring out no I
meanI'm a great time I like to get dr. Kevin gee Gretchen switch ties with Katie I'm always on your left and right now you're getting on my last nerve switch you can't just switch up the choreography last second oh he gets kicked in the face doesn't he ah Christmas I love Christmas I've never seen thighs slap this hard I made me sound bad that
moviesound like I don't know what I'm doing such a good gag what a bright time it's the right one that is so fetch Gretchen stop trying to make fetch happen yeah I'm not going to say that Terry said we should totally just stab her Gretchen weiners had cracked if you even knew how
meanshe really is Act transition these transitions between these all bad before this this to this okay actually that was just a regular crossfade I thought they did something with her face but this this is good it's one shot on her and there's movement to it so I think they probably shot this in front of green screen...
because there's no cut or crossfade across her it's just the backgrounds that's changing and then now they cut back to the actual location just for that one shot swim coach car oh it burns carbs it just burns up all your carbs soon as you fall into a garbage can I have the worst memory when I can remember certain specific things now how's the garbage can yo you have to check it because sometimes the product of two negative integers isn't positive oh hey hey hey hey oh wow that happened fast look I and do this okay it's not fair to
Reginashe's cheating on you what somebody told him about chain omen who I'm like afraid of
Georgeshe is like such clouds in everything it was half a virgin when I met him you say you were half a virgin everything I always have a virgin how did you have sex with them really small man no okay but I
meant I could put my whole fist in my mouth Katie all I've been eating are these counting bars they suck first you bloat and then you drop 10 pounds like that ma'am do you have a food next time we only carry sizes 1 3 and 5 you could try Sears oh I've seen that gift before size 1 3 & 5 that's one thing I learned i from oh my god The Devil Wears products and my memory I hate my memory I took me so long to remember the name of that
moviebut Anne Hathway was like I dropped from size 6 to size 4 and I thought that was two sizes and you guys like no it's one size and now I know women's dress...
sizes I use less information in general but I need your parents to sign this so they know their failing you're failing dumb beats I
meanshe's totally failing me on purpose because I didn't join those stupid mathletes you know I bet she sells drugs on the side to pay for a pathetic divorce put it in the book I know this plot point I don't put it in the book so you don't think anyone will vote for yeah yeah yeah again I can with this subtle
commentaryokay she's not pretty people forget about her because she's such a alright I gotta go I'm gonna bet just caressing her own ass the hell oh you can tell me hold on the nightmare of this scene there's four different sets or four different scenes and you gotta like have the dialogue match up through each one and like have the actors speak at the right time oh my god it's so oh my god she's so annoying who is is this Gretchen oh my god she's so annoying
Reginasays everyone hates you because you're such a right - no I can't go out boo you it's the rules and you can't sit with us whatever the plan is diabolical and good that's the point but she's so annoying Wow what car is that rings the doorbell let's come in oh that's Joe Budden this is pump it up oh my god pump it up my bad or get my jump button songs next up as if anyone gives a about which song of Joe Budden's disease you get a little more obvious he's a picture of her as her new form as like...
the plastic version of herself and he's like then he sees a picture of her as a child with like out makeup just being herself and he's like one more time one more time okay stroll through the room ready put it picked up the picture just like shake at the head in the music - he sees the picture of the real hair and then the music starts you smile you look um like a clone of Virgina backgrounds you know the backgrounds are just like a clump drunken wait a minute there's enough vomit to make that sound right your plastic cool shiny hard plastic cursor with you our
meangirl you're a here you can have this what a prop is give me something super
meaningful just a picture of the three of them why are you eating the call teen bar coach car mixes eat those when we want to move up away class its energy Michigan weight like crazy I know she does I know what she does you think that she'd write bad things about Katie she's writing it about herself and then she's gonna wear it saying Katie was the one fugly is this true Tring Peck made out with coach Conor yes she's trying to make it look like we wrote it but really miss weiners why would
Reginareferred to herself as a fugly Gretchen wieners is a right she wants to make it look like we wrote it so he's like why would she write this about herself then I don't know cuz she's a master manipulator you dumb hand broken douche all Yelp y'all be off y'all yo yo mom can you pick me up I'm...
scared yeah I told you that's the guy that was 12 at the beginning of the
movielet's call his mom to pick him up wow that is a freaky shot the
girlshave gone wild I ought to cancel your Spring Fling I'm not gonna do that because we've already paid the deejay but now what the young ladies in this grave need is an attitude makeover I don't care how long it takes I will keep you here all night I'm gonna cut that again but make this whole thing way more sexual young ladies you're gonna get it right now I don't care how long it takes I will keep you here all night I want you to raise your hand if you have ever had a girl say something bad about you behind your back I don't know who wrote this book but you all have got to stop know what you know how I would have handled the situation as a teacher I would have burned the burn book you know have a big powwow and have it on get everything off their chest and then burn the burn book symbolic I'd be a great teacher or the symbolism would have no effect and ever going to just go back to being one of the two though who here has ever been called a I'm sorry I called you a gap-toothed it's not your fault you're so gap-toothed I didn't trust Falls the hell she doesn't even go here sure I think you're doing a great job Thanks okay okay that's foreshadowing right there preacher I think you're doing a great job thanks I think I'm doing a great job - you think the...
Weber's gonna happen next is gonna be great it's not gonna reinforce what they say it's a misdirect I know you know I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me yup yup yup oh no oh no oh my god it's her dream come true diving into a big pile of
girlsand we turned her best friends against her and then oh yeah Katie she made out with Richie's boyfriend and then convinced him to break up with her probably because I've got a big this being crush on me oh okay okay it's happening oh my god okay and that's her Aegina
Georgedied this is the fertility fast I've put in the belly tribe does that
meananything do you know are you the fertility vase doesn't
meananything to you I don't even know you anymore she's afraid of me this guy's been a dad in like 14 things if you are trying to cast a midwestern dad like blue-collar dad this is the guy you're casting every single time he has made a career out of being a Midwest dad all the desk is gone classic don't she's gonna pull the desk back right you had that's easy solution easy they're not like no no I see the leg of the chair or the desk back there it's not like bolted into the ground pull the desk back he's gonna fart on you didn't even sound like a real fart oh no guys I have to fart that was we thought those were all real sounds so with the uno card players back to square one yeah this is good I like the cycle oh hi did you want to buy some drugs...
excellent great turnout this year could be like six people there Weiss the larger of two numbers is three more than five times the smaller every times the smaller is 7176 14 and five that is correct question number two first two digits equals the difference between Saturday for 741 correct I was close holy I'll give me more let's do more quiz where is the Spring Fling going on at the same time as the map let it mathlete the dance is like on a Friday or Saturday night right yeah whoa the math math would what do you call these competitions this math Lathon isn't being held on a Saturday night I would think after school I like 4:00 p.m. or something or like on the weekends at noon spend their Saturday night at math I'm making fun of Caroline Krafft it wouldn't stop her from beating me in this contest might if you destroyed her self-esteem Africa you did oh hey did Tina Fey come from Back to the Future Passed she's Scotty McFly whatever his name is and your Spring Fling
QueenCady heron uh-oh we got a speech coming about everyone is great and then she breaks it off she breaks pieces of the crown I'm really sorry it's just plastic a piece for Gretchen wieners and a piece for a Geena
Georgelaughter she threw it when she threw it a little too far
Reginahad to like stretch for it and what she couldn't hurt it because her spine smoked up so she just flopped over that would be a good job unless dad midbus dad is satisfied with his daughter we...
raised the right in the Midwest so are we still in a fight are you still an probably you heard of all Lindsay Lohan's drug phase she's the plastics broke up
Regina's spine healed okay okay I don't know the cross all that well but I'm pretty sure you can't abuse your opponents with your sticks see that for the bedroom oh yeah I should be going with her
girlsyeah yeah I remember that part 30% chance it's already ratings yeah I thought she was gonna end up being a lesbian like if the rumors about her were true even though they were like unfounded she's with Kevin freshmen trying to disturb that peace by bus let's just say we knew how to take care of it got me I thought I was gonna be ending what did I see that right back farting guy Jeff Moser I wonder if he used an alias because do you really want to be credited like IMDB in fact let's look up his IMDB Jeff Moser farting I
girlswhat else was Ian to catch a Yeti as Wesley sturgeon and then also in a 1995
moviecalled Billy Madison oh but that's Adam Sandler
moviewas he a little kid was he like in the first grade or Billy Madison I loved that he was in Billy Madison and then he was in
Girlsas farting guy and that killed his career every audition he goes to in the future he's like yeah I'm Jeff Moser I'm here to audition what roles have I been in I was in
Girlsreally an automated parts you know my agent put me up for it because I fart go ahead often in...
fact I have IBS irritable bowel syndrome so yeah my agent knew I was great for the role know speaking lines I wasn't given any dialogue but I like to think that my farting did the talking for me this one's dedicated to Jeff Moser he's not dead just his career let's do an in memoriam - Jeff Moses career