IS GOD GAY? | Ricky Gervais Reads NOAH'S ARK | Universal Comedy

I tell you what spiders are always ready, aren't they spiders always ready for action? a spider is always ready like that completely ready all the time I mean some animals are ready sometimes you scare a cat and you do like that okay then they go back to relaxing and then most of the time they're just on their side aren't they cats? Cats simply relax with their head down, all four limbs extended in one direction. You will never see a spider like that. You will never just see a spider. lying on the ground with the head bowed like this and the eight legs like this, they are always ready like this and they are always ready in all directions like the womb, they don't have to go, what was that?

You don't have to do it They have ten eyes and eight legs up They're even ready When you don't think they're ready You can see an empty web You say the spider is not ready Don't touch the web What do you touch the web and it's there I hate them 37,000 different species of spiders 37,000 different species of spiders, I mean, millions and billions of individuals in each species, okay, and that's just one class of arachnid from an arthropod phylum, of which there are many, there could be five million species of animals on Earth, it's best to guess at the very least, scientists say there are so many that we can't get more than five million, and that's one percent of all the animal species that have ever existed. 99 of all animal species that ever existed are extinct and the rest. percent is five million, take one of those species of termites, if you weighed every termite alive now, it would be ten times the tonnage of every human being on earth and it's statistics like that that make me think this book is not totally accurate . um, it's the uh, the book of

noah

, um, the children's edition, um, I got this as a prize in Sunday school, I used to go every week, I believed in all this until I was eight, this was when I was four um, it's an Agnes Sunday. the school showed up to

ricky

gervais

r-i-k-i like a mongoose for his regular attendance he doesn't even do anything good just by showing up oh he's always there give him something he'll be back thank you let's look at the evidence long, long ago when god made the first time earth, I'll let both points slip, we don't have time, okay, it's been a long, long time, I should just say, um, it's 5,000 years according to the bible, according to the old testament, the earth is no more than 5,000 years old. , okay, which puts us in the time of the agricultural revolution, it's actually 4.6 billion years old, let's say 4.6 billion years ago, when God first made the earth and the sky, okay, don't pick it up, I mean, it comes as a package, not really. if you couldn't, heaven was never an optional extra, could it be that I built your planet, I can't breathe, you'd like an atmosphere, of course I would, so everything was peaceful, everything beautiful, God made beings too human and wanted them to be. well like him arrogant but very soon they wanted to get their way they didn't listen to god they became evil and did evil things look at them doing evil things there look you can't be more evil than that really oh he was evil he was evil God look, yes, carry on, look what happens, look what happens, dude, they're running away with a big bag of money, don't put it in a bank.

God looked at them and said to Himself: They are so evil that I will have to clean them up. eliminate them from the face of the earth, really that is your only option, it is you, you will have to go straight to genocide, without verbal and two written warnings, not just straight to the annihilation of the entire human race because the greasy yellow trails have chosen tosomeone. Nose, that's your solution, I mean anger management, relax, I read this book to Carl Pilkington, right, who yes, he is an absolute yes, yes, he's a friend, yes, head like an orange, he I know, but I got to this point and said they're so evil I'm going to have to wipe the dirt off my face and Carl says it sounds gay I went, what do you mean it was? some gays are a bit like that they thought god was having a fit like god was going to look at what they've done no they're treating me like a condom I'm going to treat them like a god look I said carl god He's not gay, right, he

reads

the Bible, he hates them.