Ricky Gervais Takes On Hitler, Churchill, Gandhi and Anne Frank | Universal Comedy

i love quote books i saw them i read them um for pleasure i have some of these compilations and uh one of my heroes is winston

churchill

and when i read it give us the tools and we will finish the job i thought inspiring and when i read never in the field of conflict Human so many owed so much to so few I thought how patriotic and when I read it it's good for an uneducated man to read dating books I thought you're a cheeky fat man people say that oscar wilde is the greatest genius that ever lived let's try that except which is one of his all women become like their mothers that's their tragedy no man does it that's his that sounds a little gay to me it's just that there's no other way right?

I could not avoid it. I can resist everything except temptation. That also sounds like a boy. I want to start with an o. I wanna go. Oh, I couldn't get dressed. i can resist everything but temptation the chance to be something good you know what i mean and when he went through customs all those years ago in new york and the customs officer was doing his job he said do you have anything to declare? oscar wilde said nothing but my genius ain't witty he pl

anne

d i bet the first time i went through customs in a foreign country it was all yes sir no sir anything declare no to go thanks oh i thought something brilliant say excuse me i can go but no no oh god had to wait weeks in those days back on a ship to england planning It's nothing to declare anything with my genius.

I'll be in an appointment book. Why not. So he gets there again. He finds the same guy. ask me if something is clear random random back on the boat three weeks we are planning something today no jesus gets there again ok he gets on the same guy sign this time he looks all sly so they call him and the guy says what you bought something? that's not the question just save you something to declare you have something to declare nothing but my genius which is butt plugs they are mine so why the politics? because I want to give something back to society. to see injustice suffer inequality and i want to live and necessarily dive by morals i hold dear like martin luther king and

gandhi

and ben elton people have a problem with ben owen now they think he sold all his principles and just made as much money as he could and it's just a little annoying, that may be the case, but they never tried

gandhi

, right, that's what i mean, no, that's what i'm in for for a bit of balance.

It could be annoying for me. I'll tell you a story about the real story of Gandhi when he came to England in the summer of 1930. I haven't looked it up. It was like 30 seconds. I can't be upset. I'll have it ready. by tomorrow ok it's 1930 somewhere and he got off the plane um quite his re was a plane um heathrow terminal one and uh yeah we have so oh god mahatma gandhi in our in our little country surrounded by journalists photographer i couldn't believe his luck and a little journalist when mr gandhi respectful like mr gandhi said what do you think of western civilization and gandhi said i think it would be a good idea oh yeah for someone who doesn't want to get into a fight he's a bit , i mean ok now and what about sarcasm being the lowest form away oh it's not the highest form of when gandhi says it if it had been that report he would have said oh ok i'm not putting that i'll ask you again what do you think of western civilization i told you i think that would be a good idea ok i'm getting your degree back from the university of london oh and your national health specs what do you think of that now mr magoo , Yes , sophie bastard, but that's where my fascination with animals at school began and I did, did I? well in school but i felt like i just learned how to pass exams instead of feeling like i just want to get so much knowledge now it must be a sign of age but i just want to know about all the things i never cared about before i have digital tv there are 72 ch

anne

ls all except i watch hours and the end of the history channel and the discovery channel now only back and forth like six hours. horrible shiny sharks nazi crap but shark is an amazing creature has sense of its body can distinguish the slightest movement in the water of a fish floating through an electrical impulse can focus on that um has good eyesight contrary to popular relief and can taste and smell the slightest human secretion of blood and sweat like one part in a billion a mile away a shark would have found

frank

so nazis crap no no time for them no time for them um i've been to their house it's Little girl I can't believe one of them didn't go let's look up today you know what I mean what they were doing okay yes sarge sarge wait what's that rattling noise the rats are moving on she had time to write a novel for christ please ends a little abruptly and without sequelae, lazy, what is politics, politics is the art or science of governing, governing people and governing society, which one It is the best way to live, how we live in harmony, that is what we are looking for, democracy is the closest thing. thing we have for everyone to participate in but even that has problems you know who gets to vote if everyone gets the vote you know a dangerous question political philosopher nietzsche said not all people deserve the vote and not all men are born equal , this was classically misconstrued by

hitler

who went too far with it and he just knows i mean imagine you are a great nietzsche scholar and you write that and they call you

hitler

ok nietzsche adolf yeah yeah i just read your book you like it great i love everyone who loves everyone that man and superman they are not all the same kill all the jews sorry sorry they are not all the same I didn't I didn't like that I didn't read between the lines I didn't I didn't mean you have totally misunderstood the point of this yes yes it's definitely horrible it's terrible you've been you've been killing jewish people what i've been kidding jewish people how many of you killed how many of my six minutes six million yeah Well I ain't gonna get on with it I ain't gonna do no more that's it leave it at six leave it at six just move on you stay for t anyway oh yeah but be careful in the future i will I'll be writing other books right now, well, but I'm afraid to tell you about them.

No, I won't do anything. What is your new book called? My new book is called the gypos. We need them? the holocaust i'll tell you probably why didn't spielberg put a laugh track on sc hindler's list would have ruined it when shin does this came out in american theaters they actually banned popcorn thats true and i think its a great idea but i think they should ban it from all movies i dont want to go to a movie with someone grazing next to me obviously i did it for all the people who died in it but what about all the people who died in mad max?

Let's be fair and that was more recent, it was the future, so it was really recent. i think she makes this fantastic movie um i didn't see it in the theater actually it came out on video a year later by mistake because i never heard of it and i was in a blockbuster kinda late when i was kinda drunk and i thought it was a porn movie no because i saw the 18 certificate on the top shelf i thought oh dubious black and white home movie you know that sounds german they are the best and what changed was that quote on the back of barry norman have a litter box ready for kleenex i used about two there was a shower scene shut up fucking henry £30 off