Ricky Gervais Takes On Hitler, Churchill, Gandhi and Anne Frank | Universal Comedy

i love books of quotations i saw i read them um for pleasure i've got a few of these compilations and uh one of my heroes is winston

churchill

and when i read give us the tools and we will finish the job i thought how inspiring and when i read never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few i thought how patriotic and when i read it is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations i thought you cheeky fat git people say that oscar wilde is the greatest genius that's ever lived let's test that except it is one of his all women become like their mothers that is their tragedy no man does that is his that sounds a bit gay to me just i don't know give another go isn't it one i couldn't help it i can resist everything except temptation that sounds guy as well i want to start that with an o i want to go oh i couldn't outfit you know i and i want to end it with i can resist everything except temptation chance to be a fine thing do you know i mean and when he went through customs all those years ago in new york and the customs officer just doing his job said have you anything to declare oscar wilde famously said nothing but my genius it's not witty he pl

anne

d that i bet the first time i went through customs in a foreign country it was all yes sir no sir anything declare no on you go thank oh i just thought somewhat brilliant to say excuse me can i go but no no oh god he had to wait weeks in those days back on...

a boat to england planning it anything to declare nothing with my genius i'll be in a book of quotations why not so he gets there again finds the same bloke goes down look goes on you go i didn't even ask me that time excuse me they didn't ask me if anything's clear random random back on the boat three weeks we're planning anything today no jesus gets there again right gets in the same bloke's cue this time he looks all shifty so he gets called out and the bloke goes did you buy anything that's not the question just save you anything to declare have you anything to declare nothing but my genius who's the butt plugs they're mine so why politics because i want to give something back to society off i do you don't know and i can't enjoy this life when i see injustice suffering inequality and i want to live and dive necessarily by the morals i hold dearly like martin luther king and

gandhi

and ben elton people have a problem with ben owen now they think he sort of sold out all his principles and just made as much money as he could and he's just an annoying little that may be the case but they never have a go at

gandhi

do they that's what i mean no that's what i'm in for a bit of balance never mind having to go back what about

gandhi

he could be annoying to me i'll tell you a story about

gandhi

true story when he came to uh england in 1930 summer i haven't looked it up it was like 30 seconds i can't be bothered...

i'll have it ready for tomorrow all right it's 1930 somewhere and uh he got off the um plane pretty sure it was a plane um heathrow terminal one and uh yeah do we get so oh god mahatma

gandhi

in our in our little country surrounded by journalists photographer i couldn't believe their luck and one little journalist when mr

gandhi

respectful like said mr

gandhi

what do you think of western civilization and

gandhi

said i think it would be a good idea oh yes sake for someone who doesn't want to get into a fight he's a little bit i mean okay now and what up the sarcasm being the lowest form away oh no highest form of when

gandhi

says it if i'd have been that report i'd said oh very good i'm not putting that i'll ask you again what do you think of western civilization i told you i think it would be a good idea all right okay i'm taking back your degree from london university oh and your national health specs what do you think of it now mr magoo yeah sophie bastard but that's where my fascination with animals started at school and i did i did well at school but i i felt that i just learned to pass exams as opposed to i feel like i just want to get so much knowledge now it must be a sign of age but i just i want to know about everything things i never cared about before i've got digital tv there's 72 ch

anne

ls all except i watch hours and end of the history ch

anne

l and discovery ch

anne

l now just back and forth like six hours...

stint's history ch

anne

l discovery ch

anne

l back and forth ask me anything about sharks and nazis not as bad as a lot of people make out um sharks i mean nazis horrible sharks brilliant nazis rubbish but the shark's an amazing creature it's got sense of its body it can tell the slightest movement in water of a floundering fish through electrical impulse it can zone in on that um it's got good eyesight contrary to popular relief and it can taste and smell the slightest human secretion of like blood and sweat one part in a billion from a mile away a shark would have found down

frank

like that nazis rubbish no no time for them no time for them um i've been to her house it's tiny i can't believe one of them didn't go let's look upstairs today you know i mean what were they doing okay yes sarge sarge wait what what's that tapping noise rats move on she had time to write a novel for christ's sake well it ends a bit abruptly and no sequel lazy what is politics politics is the art or science of governing governing people and governing society what's the best way to live how do we live in harmony that's what we're looking for democracy is the closest thing we've got to everyone sort of chipping in but even that's got problems you know who gets to vote should everyone get the vote you know dangerous question the political philosopher nietzsche said that not all people do deserve the vote and not all men are born equal this...

was classically misinterpreted by

hitler

who went way too far with it and he just you know i mean imagine that you're a great scholar nietzsche and you write that and you get called to

hitler

all right nietzsche adolf yeah yeah just been reading your book do you like it brilliant love all that love all that man and superman not everyone's equal kill all the jews sorry sorry what not everyone's equal i didn't i didn't like that no i read between the lines i didn't i didn't mean that you've totally misinterpreted the whole point of it yeah yeah definitely it's awful it's dreadful have you been have you been killing jewish people what i've been kidding jewish people how many of you killed how many of my six minutes six million yeah well i don't go on about it i'm not gonna do any more that's it leave it at six leave it at six just move on you staying for t anyway oh yeah but be careful in future i will be writing any other books at the moment well i am but i'm scared to tell you about them no i won't do anything what's your new book called my new book is called the gypos do we need them not a traditional subject for

comedy

the holocaust i'll give you that probably why spielberg didn't put a laughter track on schindler's list it would have ruined it when shin does this came out in american cinemas they actually b

anne

d popcorn that's true and i think that's a great idea but i think they should...

ban it in all films i don't want to go and watch a film with someone grazing next to me obviously i did it in that because of all the people that died in it but what about all the people that died in mad max let's keep it fair and that was more recent it was the future so it was really recent i think she does this a fantastic film um i didn't watch it at the cinema actually i got out on video about a year later by mistake because i'd never heard of it and i was in blockbuster sort of late when i was a bit drunk and i thought it was a porn film no because i saw 18 certificate top shelf i thought oh black and white dodgy home movie you know german sounding they're the best and what swung it was that quote on the back from barry norman have a box of kleenex ready rubbish i used about two there was a shower scene shut up bloody henry 30 quid off you