I've Got a Secret - December 21, 1955Jun 17, 2021
i have a
secretstarring gary moore and goodnight friends this is a very special edition of i have a
secretbeing just a few days before christmas we have tried to come up with something for you guys in the form of a christmas show it will all be quite unexpected as you i'll explain later i'm standing in front of the curtain of our house now just so we can save our little surprise surprise for you guys so you all can see it at the same time this being our christmas show we have made a special effort and tried to make it as spectacular as our budget possibly allows so hold on to your seats and get ready for a big sigh we can see this our Christmas set please raise the curtain good night friends how are you we want to thank NBC for allowing us to take the street in front of the RCA building for the spectacular facility that we are going to have tonight but do not let the scarcity of the landscape scare you n We're trying to drive home the point in a small way that it's not how much money you put into a Christmas thing it's the feeling that goes with it I'd like you to meet four people that I have very deep feelings for this is our panel they're up there this is our it's our panel for starters there's Bill Cullen watching over William and Jayne Meadows and Henry Morgan and whose hairstyle I'm not really sure if I'm sorry.
I would like to explain to you that from now on I don't know anything about what will happen on tonight's show. me and the panel can't come to rehearsal they told us we'd get stamped orders on the air they asked us we'd be willing to take anything they threw at us and we said it's christmas sure we would so now it's on it's the biggest secret to you for us as it is for you so I'm going to open the first envelope that I've been given which is supposed to give me the instructions to walk over to camera three Joe Schwartz and look in his left back pocket okay Joe Schwartz here I come look in his back, left hip hop eyes, turn around here, left back pocket and Merry Christmas Joe thanks Gary now I'm right back here you read this out loud it says go back to your desk and introduce our first guest even though you don't you do it.
Know who you are ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce our first guest of the evening, a man or a woman, and he or she knows more about it than any internationally known favorite whose name I can't think of right now because I Some I have been told that our first guest, the sweat man. I'm actually here, Gary, to provide the little background music in case you need something for this holiday season, and I'm actually here in the role of introducing someone I'd like. you and the ladies and gentlemen in the theater audience and all the people on tv to meet face sun-young scoop crawford well folks welcome to the costume party next i would like to say ritual and merry christmas to everyone on the show and all my friends at school and especially my mother and me those kind words here i am going down to the pits oh yes take off your beard ok school welcome home from vacation thank you very much mr.
Moore, my mother, has a hidden talent that very few people know about and I would like her to show it here tonight, so if you go and stand in front of her, does your mother know about this scoop? Are you sure you're okay, mom? when she counts three i want you to start indian wrestling there and show her how i need you good nemus mr. Moore, you don't have to be afraid or feel it, you have to give in because she's an expert, you know it well now and I count three. Oh, you know this girl is not nice to have you around. the christmas tree on the floor in front of the tree is an arrow 22 another arrow follow these arrows to your next clue and walk fast go for 2 minutes where it went merry christmas george my bed funny reading is ok so im here and secret hologram the word for tonight you have forgotten you can go introduce the great and good friends of Henry Morgan the co-author of the Broadway musical Simple and Elegant and his wife ladies and gentlemen one of the best writers in our industry I don't know where they come from mr.
Mrs. Wilke Whitman, thank you very much, first I would like to wish you and everyone here, and especially Henry Morgan, a very Merry Christmas. Thank you, Henry, as a little gift to us. Would you like to hear Hardy? What about Doogie Morgan, the British broadcaster? I would like that. Don't you think that would be nice? Gary. I'd like Henry, but I'll give you a little star. you're googy Morgan you've just returned to England after a visit to America where you've seen this show I've got a secret and you're going to describe the show to a British ladies' club visit Morgan good evening everyone and me too you asked me here today to meet you I explained my recent visit to the X colonies of the state, as you know, they have videos of cashiers like us and one of their most attractive programs is something I saw cold, I don't know the answer, what they do there is a master of ceremonies, an interesting type of talk, not too young but very good and he has this this group of other extroverts they just sit I don't know if they are pigs they have a spurious humor of him always read you know so they were having a terribly good time and the master of ceremonies invites guests who have things they would rather not have told , probably for the incentive of money he arranges for them to be exposed now the method of this says, for example, you miss what it's called to see you terrible He's really traumatized and going to the local and she's pretty witty and smart too I guess and he says now our guest has this little thing going and for you first in his heart it is and it's something his grandma is sorry for he says Earl if that's my clue it's yes and she said now this banshee granny am I interested in her waist and he said yes he honors the kidney and she says it's east of the Congo it's north somewhere it's repeatedly jerk and eventually becomes a terribly brilliant man some kind of nasty tra ffic he knows the answers but won't tell them he just plays around now i understand that this is paid for with a cigarette a cigarette costs 5555 but those people i don't see how could they, how long has he been alive?
Oh someone Santa Claus Merry Christmas to you sir and a happy st. St. Patrick's Day to the petals. I have some instructions for you. Yeah, your next guest is right here on our stage and I'm going to tell you his name. you do that yes i would be happy ladies and gentlemen a young man i have known and admired for many years since i met him in hollywood probably the quickest mind in our business today mr. Steve Allen very Christmassy and a Merry Christmas from me: it was in a graphic. I will go straight to the point.
Gina's been filming a lot lately, she's sneaking into my part of the business and surprising the family. When thinking of great success, call what is a husband and I would like to hear her do it. I don't know, no, dear, but I've taken the precaution of bringing it back for the team to come back, I'm sure it will. have some christmas music some what is a wife are you going to do intro no no multiple ways to get a husband candlelight quarter lashes homemade cakes wealthy parents flattery deception and determination what our husbands are made of do it yourself team Tickets from the World Series fishing trips receding hairlines clumsy feet and when they disagree with you fast heads when you want them can usually be found under cause inside televisions behind newspapers making bologna sandwiches looking for fuses in hot water and with often in dea no one can come home this late with so many alibis and take so many friends to dinner without letting you know and no one can drive a car as well mix a martini better pay a few eternities law faster change our biggest deal or wait two hours drinking a shortcut that simply does not exist a husband is an inexhaustible source of information he knows he will s taxes are too high wages too low how to make things wholesale one knuckle wacko the answer to last week's quiz shows how to have a ticket six head waiters buddies in the army and lots of other women you don't know what to eat your boss what makes your mother in law tick what is coming into this world how Mambo and how to keep your mouth shut just so you can remember it every minute of the day leaves you with socks to put on shirts to iron buttons to sew on stains to get off dirty ashtrays clothes to pick up trash to take out and then he comes home and asks what you've been up to all day who else can say happy birthday when it's really your wedding ding anniversary and who else can spend a romantic evening yawning, reading, dozing and changing clothes TV channel, but when your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you look across the bed, the face you see isn't Clark Gable, it's not Li Berace, he's that bleary-eyed, unshaven scruffy. wonderful hunk of man your husband well i didn't write that other people did it but it was very very sweetly made there yes so i heard call what does a wife do go out and buy it now You'll get your rebuttal Gary I know this next card will be very helpful to you and I'm handing it to you.
I just want to say good night. It's a wonderful show so far and I know it will be even better from now on. I'll see you all. Later, Merry Christmas, this is the kind of courage calculated to keep one young. The next instruction. Milly tells Gary to wait for further developments. Hey, that's a pretty cool development. Introduce Bill Collins, good friend and agent. UNED my agents are good friends too and it turns out that's the case with me and bill is lucky that's the case with him so far is bill's agent very good here i guess i see Gary who is bill's agent he tells me I would like to wish you on your Merry Christmas Seriously Merry Christmas everyone thank you They had a request I would like to make an invoice and that request I would like to make Are you getting scale for this trusted agent account?
You know how to handle audiences and you've been to them and I've seen that you're a great performer, right? Oh yeah, I'm Marty, a great improviser, aren't I? I do not know. 11 years ago, he was the youngest emcee in the business. I had a stop. saying there and you're a great improvisor yeah no I'm not really I guess I have to say you're supposed to say that before and so those things of course simple things I'm going to ask you for the First, it's very simple, everyone knows it in the business, I'm going to ask you, since you have audiences in the palm of your hand, to make the audience there will be an ex-client, make the audience laugh, I have my choice of audience, or i have to use this money don't say i'll get it later the second one is quite simple though i want you to make them very angry and make them boo make them boo you know very angry old ladies and gentlemen i would like to introduce our next guest a man which you probably read about in Colliers magazine and sent to us to help publicize the story ladies and gentlemen Adolf Hitler everything I've ever said about him is true it could be I just said this bill we like taría we'd like you to make the audience clap oh well that's as easy as an old announcer now bill will do it for henry on his show you're the keeper you've referred to yourself many times In the place to face you when your morning show is Oh, lovely. could you be adorable enough while you're sitting there, when does a lady in the audience come up and kiss you well first of all i wish this would only apply to single women with money and i have an unlimited budget for this Gary as far as I'm concerned I care a lot about getting a lady has moved on but account I know oh I have ways though Mart well that wasn't one of them but what was someone and now what is the next instruction?
Can we do it here? but you want to get 10% of that Merry Christmas Gary, here's your next how-to player. I've been wondering what the phone was for. This is good. Hello, oh, it's my son on the phone. introduce bill Deming and Vinnie Bogert and he hung up another very talkative guy well that's a great joy to Vinnie Bogert and Bill Deming they are two of my team of five writers and I'm also happy to say they are very close friends where they come from . I don't know here are VIN and invoice where was Mason calling from Holmen Ryan she wi Again yes we would like to wish you all a very Merry Christmas. that you have another talent Gary what Toscanini is to football what mikowski is to basketball this is what you are to music we know you are one of the best choral conductors around and we have spared no expense to bring you one of the best choirs to lead is anyone who has to be down I have the words to a very popular Christmas song there you are and if you lead us all singing we will follow you as best we can we all look like everyone I show you around Where do I go?
I know, yeah sure, this is a little device we stumbled across one night at the party when someone dropped to spoil Olive in tomato juice and we found we really admire Fred using it. It's really not too hard to imitate Fred using if you just follow the director, so what are wesinging? Winter Wonderland, cinnamon, wait, because I don't know how you're doing. the name you've lived inning we'll take that phrase again the snow is on the lane like this on your chest you know how to walk in a winter i wonder how long you'll be able to stand travel arrangements or he has a secret they're made through united airlines united Airlines by our contestants in fast UTC seven major ocean liners this has been a brand Goodson bill Todman production
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