I Have A Small What!? | Bill Engvall

Well, do you know

what

happens if you've had a knee replacement? You know

what

I'm talking about. I must be honest, I was very proud of myself because it was very painting, it was one of the most painful things I

have

ever gone through. in my life and I got over it. I was so proud of myself and I told you, you just got over something that is probably the worst pain of your life. Two days later, I had a kidney stone. Turns out I was wrong, oh man I wouldn't wish that. this pain in the same devil 2:30 in the morning I'm in an emergency room crying like a little girl putting holes in the bed sheets because if you've had one you know I'm trapped it's like the most debilitating thing "It's something to You can come in and I just say look and this nurse is doing well, now you know it's like going through childbirth and I said through my tears, well then man, you all are stupid if this is what the little birds there like." They wouldn't be children and then they gave me a

small

injection of something called Dilaudid.

Why isn't this in every candy section of every grocery store? My brother-in-law said you went from crying like a little doll. I go, so what's up? your name so I go see my urologist and he says yes you

have

a kidney stone I said so what's wrong? I just pass him and he goes fine normally, that's what happened, the account said, you have a very

small

urethra, how can you? answer that I said well you know what doc it's a little cold here he's like sir he has nothing to do there are three things in life a man never wants to hear you kiss like a dog you pull like a girl and you have a very small urethra yes said what, so what's going to happen, what we're going to do is a little procedure, well, we're going to insert a tube through your wiener, there are four things in life that a man never looks at and inserting a tube into your Wiener is number one.

He said what we're going to do is put that tube in there, then we're going to take the laser, we're going to go through it and we're going to blast the rock. He said they'll sedate you. and I said yes, in fact I want to be so sedated that I see that light and I want to go into it, so they do the procedure, they take me out of the anesthesia and I said, did you get the stone? and he says, "I've never had this happen to me in my medical career and I said, 'Oh, please don't tell me you lost your wedding ring up there,' he said no, he said your urethra is so small that you can't even We couldn't even get her laser there to blow up the stone, he said, is this for red eteri.

I don't know me and dad never had that talk. Well, son, you're 21, it's time you learned about the family curse. we've all had small urethras, great grandpa maximizing while he was on tour with Ripley's Believe It or Not is what's so small like I said, so what happens now and he's doing well, we put a period in there to extend your urethra, we leave it. there for two weeks and we will come back I go in and get the stone late so for two weeks I have this stent hmm I go back in they put me under it I come out and they leave we get the stone I said thank God he said you can take it out. the stent in a couple of days.

I'm sorry about what you said, yeah, they can just take out the bracket and I'm like, what am I paying them for? That's like going to a restaurant. What do you have? Steak and lobster, there's the kitchen, go cook it. I said, friend. I'm a comedian, I don't know how to stand out, he goes, he will and he leaves the room and I look under the sheet and without being too graphic I have a thread hanging from a waiter. I don't even stop.