22 Clips of Craig Ferguson being Dirty and Quick Witted

I like the neckline. I was like, "Okay, wait, wait, this could be a lie." I enjoy cleavage and I am a US citizen. I have the right to who doesn't love cleavage. You're right. Who doesn't like surfing and everything then? Do you do everything? Oh, you do. M. You don't surf. I really love surfing. Where are you going?. You surf with Matthew McAn. This is about you, so you go surfing now when the paparazzi follow you, they follow you to the beach to surf? Yeah, how do they know you're there? Because they wait outside my house and follow me everywhere, are they really like that?

Stalkers, why don't you invite them in? Invite them to the house. They'll get used to you and find someone else to run with around here. No, I'm too afraid of them. Are you afraid. of many things tattoos plastic surgery on the paparazzi you're in the wrong game I'm going to go skydiving you're going to go skydiving yeah shut up I heard you had your birthday party because remember you said you were going to invite me and then I didn't invite you oh you did it? I sent you an email oh an email ah right I don't know where what email I didn't get it there must have been some problem with the email system I have another one in Las Vegas Vegas this weekend, how many haven't you had?

I had like two in La, two in New York, just two in Japan and now I'm doing two in Vegas at the Hard Rock this weekend, that seems a little excessive to me. I would like to celebrate my birth, yes, and how those in Las Vegas would be different from those in You know other very different cities. The one from La I made us all pink. She was like a whole pink Barbie. That's the one. They didn't invite me very well, but I didn't understand, yeah, would you have worn pink? No, oh Elizabeth, well, I mean, what was that about?

I don't know if you were growing up, it was a '90s thing. I was reminding you, okay? I'm going to my mic pack it fell off oh want you guys it's real television that's what happens on television you want me to look look there a better view anyway okay you want you want me to do it you want me to put it back there you want who wants to put it in you want to put it in yes, yes, I'll put it in, yes, you can put it in, you can put it in, I do it, someone has the sound guy that was already back there, I mean, you know, it could be like that. well, it's you, it's a perk of the show to be the leader of the show, right, you look good, I mean, really good cardio bar.

I'm thinking no, none of those words really make sense to me, cardio or barre, I don't know which. you're talking I think it sounds like you're on a serious regimen to be sexy Cheers wow thank you I'm just saying look good that's all sexy Cheers well do you have some kind of thing that you do? I'll be sure I do some things from time to time, but I don't know. I'm mostly just chasing. I have kids. I chase my kids to keep them in shape. You know, that's the least sexy thing I can do. Let's say I have babies, well yes, but you run after them and stay fit and also cover the poop most of the time.

Sometimes I actually remembered seeing a friend I hadn't seen in a long time last time. When I saw it we were in a restaurant and my son got scared and I literally carried him through a public restaurant like this with poop dripping into the bathroom, it was already gone everywhere and then I went into the bathroom. I didn't have a changing table I had to change them on the floor of this bathroom you can't be your baby on the floor it's

dirty

there are other people's babies shitting on it there was already trash everywhere I mean how much worse could it get?

It was covered inops, I know you know it's terrible. How old are your babies? Well, he, I have a 15-month-old and an almost 3-year-old, so yeah, you know, the three-year-old, it's probably him, it's him now. Now he likes to poop in the toilet, good for him guys, and that stays with you until you're 50 and then, but you know, it won't be my problem then, no, I guess I'm 51, oh. What are you telling me? People have to run across the restaurant with