How To Stand Up For Yourself Without Being A Jerk

You will encounter some conversational stalkers in your lifetime. Generally people try to silence them with insults and attacks and some others prefer to stay away from these interactions to avoid that type of negativity, but there is potentially a third party. a more effective way to deal with these toxic people Russell Brand, for example, tries to take control of the conversation instead of shutting it down, this allows him to defend himself without looking like an idiot and his interview with three MSNBC morning show hosts. is a perfect example of the top strategies you can use to dominate any bully in any conversation, so let's start by quickly covering best practices for any group interaction and then we'll look at what to do when things get ugly, a general rule of thumb. is that you want to make sure that you don't start a conversation only to be interrupted, otherwise people will subconsciously believe that your opinions are not worth hearing and may actually put more pressure on you, so when you start talking, It's generally better.

To continue to the end of your sentence this way, you don't have to dominate the conversation or refuse to be interrupted during long monologues, but you do need to speak with enough momentum to at least finish each sentence before handing over to someone who tries to do so. . interrupting you, this will make it much more likely that people will listen to you when you share your opinions and you can contrast the feeling you get from watching Russell do this with the young Jane Smith who doesn't, not that Jaden's thoughts don't have Some merit is that he had not yet learned to speak with enough conviction to be taken seriously.

At least finishing your sentences encourages others to respect you more. Now the next principle that is extremely valuable in any group is treating each member. of a group as an individual, obviously, a concrete way to do this is by referring to each person by their name Brian, you are free to use whatever you want, you focus on your momentum, thank you very much, cat. I admit this may be uncomfortable at first. If you're not used to it, it actually has a very positive effect on the person hearing their favorite English word, but even if you don't know people's names, you can show that you value each individual by taking the time. looking at each person as they speak, especially if someone is quiet or shy, taking those three seconds to make eye contact with them while speaking goes a long way to making them feel included, in fact, if you find that you lose the group's attention when telling a story or a joke, this is one of the quickest solutions, giving each individual a few seconds of attention to keep them hooked.

Lastly, we like people who are like us and who like us too, so when you're in a group, it always helps to emphasize similarities with other members and give genuine compliments. You also look beautiful, of course, in your wonderful country and in our country it seems to be the problem you have seen. Russell did everything I mentioned, but sometimes conversations turn hostile despite your best efforts. So I want to show you how to disarm people who become aggressive in a subtle and charismatic way before you have to be direct with them. The first thing you need to realize here is that perhaps the most powerful tools you have to influence.

The tone of a conversation is your non-verbal cues. Now these can be roughly grouped into more signs and less signs. When you show these more cues, you'll get more of what you're responding to show fewer cues and you'll get less, for example, looking. how Russell gets Mica to go from

being

rude and passive-aggressive to complimenting him in an effort to win him over. Look, that's a very kind compliment. First, we have that calm look in the eyes, without malice or a smile. Anyone who is

being

rude feels uncomfortable doing so, it's like they are being watched secondarily.

Not paying attention to that person will also change your attitude. You watch Russell's attention wander and it immediately makes the host feel like he needs to do more to be one. kind to get it back and third, the prolonged silence. This is one of the most powerful non-verbal tools at your disposal. When people are unpleasant, you may feel the urge to speak quickly or smile to defuse the situation or cut that awkward tension. But Russell, right? He waits until Mika compliments him and then speaks quickly, showing a little more chest hair, that's a very kind compliment now that she's gone through that bit of rudeness and is back to being nice, he gives more strong signals. . he's going to work on a one-two punch where he says don't do this but do this and see if you can spot these signs plus you look beautiful too Bryan you are free to wear whatever you want, this is one of your freedoms. that is offered to you first Russell verbally applauds what Mika says, now points out any type of behavior that you appreciate that will provoke more, then returns the compliment and finally becomes playful and smiles now, of course, this is all above the fact The fact that he is getting involved in a much more enthusiastic way dissipates that tension that was increasing and strongly associated with a more polite way of behaving.

People don't like tension and conversations, so don't get rid of them while they misbehave, wait until they are nice, all this is a strong behavioral signal that adds up to a non-verbal statement about what kind of behavior wait throughout this conversation. Now he continues to send these signals by paying much more attention to Mika, who is being more polite than the other host, Brian, who is still rude; in fact, Brian starts making a comment that then ends with how we can't under

stand

Russell's accent and we suspect that guy is going in a bad direction. Russell completely ignores him, this is a Grand Strategy, although it's funny because he traveled a lot in silence, this effectively makes Brian's next question much more polite and we see Russell respond positively.

Everyone asks which one you like more: TV movies or

stand

-up comedy. What is actually which is more difficult? I mean go on stage. I think it's probably pretty difficult. Movies can be boring, just filming something a hundred times. Television is what I enjoy the most is the monologue. You can do the same thing in group conversations if someone insults you, is passive-aggressive, and is rude. pay attention to the other members of the group turn so that your body is facing those people smile be warm interact even loudly with them it shouldn't be long before that rude person says something nicer, at which point you can deflect attention to them right now The last indirect option is to make such a call.

This is where you talk about a type of behavior that you don't like, perhaps a type of behavior that someone in that group is currently doing, but you allow that individual to save face. not to call them directly, but it is about that type of people. Do this with a smile to remind the person that you are still on the same team, they don't have to be the type of person you are describing and you are not. However, they say they are watching Russell do this in his response. You know what happens if you work immediately.

People like to change information to suit a particular agenda. If you are in a room full of people, then what you are saying is clear. If you say something that confuses people, you can explain it to them. So if you say something because it's a joke, people can't pretend that you're serious, so I like to have direct communication with people because I think people are confused. very, very clever, well, information is manipulated, a lot of people like it, of course, like you know the fake hype and stuff, that that kind of strategy is a sneaky way to influence the tone of any kind of conversation .

Imagine being at a networking event and congratulating a group. Based on their enthusiasm when talking about those other guys who are a little bland and boring, you can bet that group's energy will increase to achieve that stellar reputation you've given them and they won't be like those other people now, unfortunately, these signs go unnoticed in The Russell Affair, as they rarely but sometimes do in real life, the presenters continue to be rude. Brian abruptly says that he can't understand Russell's accent. You know, when I see it in person, it's totally okay to forget Sarah Marshall or the TV show.

Okay but on satellite radio in the car I can't understand a single joke you can't understand it another announcer forgets his name would you do therapy with him that's where Willie is going who he really is and everyone starts talking about Russell in the third person like him It's not a present experience, it's just a kind of assimilation of everything, you're talking about Izzy, I'm not here yet and like I'm an alien, we're just kind of admiring the whole thing, you know, this is all after the non-verbal and then indirect warnings of that type sometimes you have to be direct and blunt say what behavior you would like to see done differently say when a person is present you must refer to that person and then let's be realistic good manners where is Willie going Now a lot People ruin this and make things even more hostile.

The key here is to criticize a specific behavior, not the people who do it. When you say someone is an idiot, it's likely to make them defensive and you don't specify how I'd like them to change when you say don't call me by that name or talk to me in such a loud tone. You'll be much more likely to get what you want now, I admit that what Russell does here is hard to stick with. Calm enough to maintain constant eye contact and not get angry when people adopt an antagonistic tone. Keep that sense of humor through all of this.

Most of us would probably just sweat from either underreacting or overreacting, so I want to share just one last mindset that takes a while to develop, but will help you tremendously. You need to learn to separate your ego from personal attacks. Notice how a brand is able to take personal criticism, meaning that you are not qualified to speak on a particular topic, and dismiss it as out of touch. the points you're raising I'm just asking why you would take them seriously when you're so nonspecific in the first place. I don't care if you take me seriously.

I'm just here to bring some ideas to your attention and here's how. the brand is able to see that something is offensive without necessarily feeling personally offended or defensive about it. I want to bring you a sign first of all, this is a fact, the pimp brand, make

yourself

absolutely comfortable my friend, now this of course is clearly offensive as an object, unlike most of us Russell does not feel the need to immediately defend himself against personal attacks because he is not very interested in what most people think of him. He doesn't waste mental energy protecting his ego, allowing him to be more resourceful in the face of attacks.

Paradoxically, criticism by not defending himself makes him look better than if he had paid the price. Now I'll talk about all the different tools you can use for humor, including how to develop more quick wit in a future video, which is I'll continue to break down this clip, yes a lot happens in seven minutes, but I'll probably be out next month since while So much we have some big videos planned, Keanu Reeves, Tom Holland, potentially, Andrew Yang, so if you want to make sure of that. Don't miss that video or any of the others I just mentioned.

Make sure to subscribe and turn on notifications now. That way you'll get a message when they show up and they won't. Something you'll never hear about again anyway. One of the things that will allow you to begin to separate your ego from any particular type of attack is a deeper sense of self-acceptance if you are comfortable with

yourself

and who you are on a basic level. You are much less likely to be baffled and irritated by what other people think or say when you have solid self-acceptance. All of your self-esteem comes not from being praised or loved, but from the belief that you are enough.

No matter the opinions of others, frankly, this is a long journey that takes time to integrate, but if you want to start today, I have created a guided meditation that focuses on developing that deep sense of self-acceptance and you can do it. Get it today for free, courtesy of this video sponsor Simple Habit Simple Habit is a meditation app that has a bunch of different guided meditations to help train your brain more toward the emotions you want. Now I've had some that have been very impactful for me. specifically with gratitude, joy, positivity, as those things can be difficult for me from time to time.

I tend to be very achievement-oriented, always focusing on what needs to be done and not enjoying the moment. In fact, I also spent a lot of time alonedoing things on my own. guided meditations without any tracking because I couldn't find one that was both fast and powerful so I decided to make one that was what I would have wanted and I put it on the simple habit app so if you join simple habit on simple calm/confidence habit on your phone you can listen to that guided meditation that I designed specifically for self-acceptance and you can also get another one that I created that is about stressful social situations, you listen to it before you go out and it's Prime's you To be at your best no You only have access to each meditation they have for one full week and if you decide to check it out, I would definitely recommend Seven Days of Joy Now if you like the app and decide to stick around.

After the first week it's $11.99 a month, very well spent, on unlimited access to all the guided meditations they have and if it's not for you you can cancel and not lose anything, so if you want to check out the meditation guided I believe or any of the others there is nothing to lose, you can check that acceptance meditation with a simple habit, calm / trust on your phone since it is an app either way. I hope you enjoyed this video and I hope to see you in the next one. one