How to fix the exhausted brain | Brady Wilson | TEDxMississauga

Anyone helps another person see their potential. Anyone can help progress. Why don't we do that? The surprising answer is not that we get bored in their presence, nor that we are restricted by our mechanisms, although we certainly are, but that there is a more important reason: putting ourselves in the shoes of others. You might wonder: Aren't we supposed to do this? I'll tell you. When you put yourself in someone else's shoes, with all your assumptions, judgments, conclusions and beliefs, this will be the narrative: “If I were in your place…” and your best personal solution for this situation will come.

This happened to me a few years ago. My son, Taylor, was finishing college on the east coast of the United States. While I was sitting in the dining room, I received the call that all parents now fear: The story will end. Well, but it was scary at the time: "We're in the hospital, we'll get through this." But it was difficult. He began to describe the car. I'll leave this slide for a moment, but the car. He turned several times and when he stopped, he started to burn. Four of them managed to get out of the car, but Holly, his best friend, was trapped in the front seat and they couldn't open the door.

She broke free, they carried her, they got far enough away, and when the explosion happened, no one lost their lives, and I sat feeling overwhelming gratitude that my son Taylor and his four friends were able to survive. The story doesn't end like this. I will always move on to the next slide. This is my son Taylor. The next night, I went out with my friend who knows Tyler well. And I just told him what happened. I said, “You're not going to believe what happened to Taylor,” and I told him the story, and as soon as I finished, he said, “You're not going to believe what happened to me in Chicago last week!” He surprised me.

He had told him something that meant a lot to me and he just ignored it. He told me his story because he loved my friend and wanted to maintain our friendship. I called him the next day and told him. "Should we go get coffee?" And in fact we left. I said, "Do you remember that story I told you about Taylor?" He said, “Yes,” and I said, “Do you remember how you responded?” He said, “Not really.” I said, “Well, you said this and that…” He said, “Did you really say that? I can not believe it!" When you dug deeper into understanding his purpose in telling the story, what did you think it was?

Because it wasn't just an attempt to get attention. In fact, it was an attempt to build a sense of communication between us. I wanted to show you that I understand Taylor's story by sharing mine with you. He put himself in my shoes and listened enough to answer me. This happened at Easter several years ago. Taylor returned for Christmas that year and you can imagine the situation at the time. After Christmas, I went out with another friend who knew Tyler well and I mentioned what happened to Taylor. As soon as I finished, he said, “How was your first meeting after the accident?” I said, “I was in the basement and I heard him come through the door.

I ran towards him, grabbed him, hugged him and didn't want to let him go because it was the first time. “I had seen him since the accident.” My friend at the time gave me space for five seconds: “How was the first meeting between you two after the accident?” “The result was another important thing that came from a father who almost lost his son. My energy level after the first conversation was at rock bottom. And my energy level after the second conversation was through the roof. People rarely leave you indifferent. They will leave you overwhelmed or

exhausted

. (applause)