Isolation is the dream-killer, not your attitude | Barbara Sher | TEDxPrague

a lot of cute kids toys, and everyone goes out into the aisle because I have a chimpanzee and they buy all the stuff. The chimp costs me about $200 a day and I sell about $400 a day, so I make a living. But they just increased chimpanzee rentals to $600 a day; I'm out of business!" A woman in the back, dressed very nicely, said, "I think we can do better than that." I said, "Do you rent chimpanzees?" She said, "Yes, and giraffes, rhinos." .and horses." (Laughs) I said, "In New York City?" She said yes". I said, "Why?" She said, "This is where the commercials are made.

We also have trainers. We have everything." I thought, "Drop me. You never know who you're talking to!" We are all at the center of enormous amounts of information and connections that we don't need and don't think about unless someone asks us to. I began to realize that I had found the absolute, guaranteed secret to success, and... wow! ! - Didn't it have anything to do with positive thinking? Oh wow, nothing. (Laughs) Here's the punchline: Isolation kills

dream

s, not

your

bad

attitude

. You can hate

your

self, you always do, you know. You wake up, get up and say, "I'm fat." You know you do that.

If you wake up in the morning and say, "I'm here!" Your wife will kill you in your sleep tomorrow night. (Laughs) And I will help her. You can't go around faking feelings, at least I mean for yourself. I feel bad because everyone started this. That says, "Cross out positive thinking." And this says, "Here's a team." Good? Not necessarily closest friends or parents, because they have

attitude

s towards you. Strangers are great, absolutely great. So here's what you do: You get a team. You figure out what you want and then you say, "This is my desire and this is my obstacle.

This is what I want and this is the reason why I can't have it." If you don't say both, nothing happens. We are animals that solve problems. If you say, "I would love to be a dancer." Everyone says, "Mmm." If you say I would love to be a dancer, but I'm 44 years old, all minds start working. Even if people don't like you, they will solve your problem: "I've heard of 44-year-olds, there's one in Boston. There's a new ballet group, I read about it in a magazine and I'll find it." People want to help. Incredible things will happen to you.

I will tell you my latest stories because they are very good. Did anyone call me. from Toronto. She was a leader of the Success Team and she said, "We have an accountant in Toronto, I have to tell you the story." We were a group of six people; There were five women and this guy. It was very useful; he knew everyone in town, got them bank loans, introduced them to everyone. But he never wanted anything. Finally they said, "Listen, you have to tell us what you want. We can't take anything from you anymore!" And he said, "I can't tell you; it's too stupid, you'll laugh at me." They said, "Oh no, absolutely not." Barbara Sher says, "You never laugh at anyone's

dream

s." He said, "Okay, well, I want to be a cowboy." " Then naturally everyone laughed. (Laughter) Someone said, "What's the obstacle?" He said, "What's the obstacle?

I don't even know if there are cowboys, I liked cowboy movies when I was a kid and I wanted to be one, that's it. I don't know if there are jeans. Secondly, I have a business; I can't leave hoping to find a cow. What are you talking about?' Someone said, "Wait a minute," and called her roommate. He remembered that his roommate had an uncle in Alberta who was a rancher. And soon he called. And we said, "Turn on the speaker." The guy said, "I heard you're an accountant. I'd like to fly you out for a week a month to do my books." And the accountant said, "You can do it online." He said, "I know, I don't want my business to be on the Internet." And then the women kicked him and he said, "I want to be a cowboy." He said, "You can be a cowboy; you can be a cowboy." "It's over in a couple of days and you can go by car, we always have them." He said, "Do you have jeans?" He said, "Yeah, if you had steak this month, there's a cowboy somewhere." And so he did it.

He sent photographs. He went out, became a cowboy and does his Toronto accounts on the Internet. But the best story of all, and the one I want to tell you most, happened in Memphis, in the summer. August was very hot and I asked for impossible dreams. A woman in the front row raised her hand and I said, "Yes, what is your desire and what is your obstacle?" Then she said, "I'm tired; I want to go on a cruise." "Okay, what's your obstacle?" And she said, "Well, I have three: money, I have a sick daughter at home, - an adult daughter, I can't leave her.

For a second, I could hardly get here, and I prefer not to mention the third." And before he could ask if anyone had an idea, a guy came running down the hallway wearing a white t-shirt with a number on it. , a pair of shorts, waving a piece of paper, grabbed the microphone and said, "I ran for the Heart Association this morning and won a cruise for one. My wife isn't going to let me go on a cruise just once." ; Take it!" Everyone was excited and applauded that she had her own cruise and didn't have to worry about money.

She said, "That's nice, but I really can't leave my daughter." A woman in the hallway raised her hand and she said, "I'm a public health nurse and every year, to keep our license, we have to give ten days of free pro bono work, and I haven't found anyone and it's already August, right?" "Can you? Do you use ten days?" Everyone got excited and I said, "I think you're going to have to tell us about your third obstacle." "Well, it's embarrassing, but my daughter is in bed because she's been physically hurt and she's scared. Her ex-husband is harassing her." And the room was silent.

I mean, everyone was like, “Oh, shit!” A voice came from the back of the room. I never saw this man's face, I will never forget his voice. He said, "I'm a policeman, what's his name?" (Laughs) She went on the cruise. But this is what I want to tell you: We depend on everyone's dreams coming true. What do you think is going to happen now? That she went on that cruise? It's just a cruise. But her daughter will recover; She is no longer afraid. Her daughter will become a teacher. She will understand children who are afraid. She will understand children who are physically scared.

She is afraid because she understands that. Every time you make someone else's dream come true, it resonates. It is not a magical New Age way, it resonates in practical and wonderful ways. You have to do it, you have to do it. You have to discover what you want, you have to ask for help, and you have to remember "desires and obstacles." And you have to let people help you because you have to follow your dreams and never tell me that you can't do it. Just remember: we got Ronnie a fantastic apartment in New York and a woman, a crazy woman, who he loves with all his heart.

We can not do anything. That's what I wanted to tell you. (Applause)