How To Become A Master In The Art of Public Speaking (Part 1 of 2) | Eric Edmeades

Truly shocking is that there was even a time before radio. And what did the families do then? They sat around the fire. They sat around the fire and I have had the privilege of sitting exactly around that fire. And what I mean by this is that in my research for WildFit, I have had numerous visits to the Hadza bushmen. And the Hadza Bushmen live much like most of our ancestors did for most of our history. And they sit around the fire. And I want you to think about something. If you are sitting around my fire 100,000 years ago and I share a story with you.

I share a story with you, it is entertaining, attractive, it makes you think and maybe it will make you laugh. But in that story I tell you about the time these big white rhinos tried to kill me. Because they really did. I'm not kidding, it really happened to me. And I'm standing there, and these big white rhinos are running towards me. And what I knew about white rhinos is that they don't have good eyesight. In fact, they can barely see. They can smell and hear. And the reason they were running towards me is because they could smell me.

And I knew it as they ran towards me, and let me tell you something. Rhinos are bigger than you think. Have any of you been to that cafe with the big white rhino head on the wall? That's to scale. This is what a large male white rhino looks like, the size of your head. Then you add the body. And they are much faster than you think. And when two of them run towards you, that's basically what it feels like on your feet. They're running towards you and you're doing this. Because they are shaking the ground. What does every inch of me want to do when they run towards me? - Run. - Run.

But I know that if I run, they will hear my steps and that will give them the opportunity to follow me. And if I let them follow me with those big horns, I'll get some interesting piercings. It's not good, is it? And so, instead of running, I stood there, watching them, and waited. They came within about 15 feet of me and stopped. And they turned around and walked back to the bush, and then they got curious again when the wind changed direction, they came running towards me again. And then they moved forward about 10 feet, three meters, and then they stopped again and walked away.

If I had run, I would be dead today, or I would certainly have interesting piercings, one way or another. So imagine we are sitting around the fire and I share that story with you. And a week later, you're out in the bush picking berries, doing whatever you want, and two white rhinos come running towards you. And suddenly you remember, "Oh my God, I'm supposed to stay still." And you stay still and that saves your life. Who do you want to sit with for the rest of your life? Do you understand? That's why we have this thing called the stage effect.

For millions of years, your survival and ability to thrive depended entirely on the stories told around the campfire. It was the most valuable thing there was. Nothing could be more valuable than sitting by the fire and listening to these stories. And you started hearing these stories when you were two and three years old. And by the way, can two-year-olds understand even if they can't speak? Can you understand? - If all! They understand everything. The other day I had my little girl here in the city with me, and my little boy, who is not that little. My boy is 20 years old and my little girl is two years old.

And that's why they don't spend much time together and hang out. And I go to Zoe and say, "Zoe, do you love Daniel?" And she goes. And I say: "Daniel is your brother." And she goes. And I say: "That means Daniel, that I am also Daniel's father." And she goes. She understands everything. And so we're sitting around the fire listening to these stories, and they make it possible for us to survive in the most difficult circumstances, and they make it possible for us to thrive in the most difficult circumstances. And that's why our DNA loves stories.

That's why Hollywood will spend 200 million dollars, you understand? Think about it. They'll spend $200 million creating a story and won't start seeing any revenue from that story until the $200 million is spent. It's risky, but you know we like stories. We like stories because it is the body's main operating system. And once you start to recognize that stories are the best way to write information, then you can look at the story and recognize that it is completely true. Every great revolution, every great revolution, whether a political revolution, a war uprising, or a technological revolution, has been preceded by great speeches and great speeches.

I remember reading that President Roosevelt was trying to pass legislation in the United States Congress, and none of the congressmen would vote for it because he was all about changing their lives. It was legislation about the congressmen and they did not want to change it. I wasn't getting anywhere. And then he recognized that the world had changed and that he could talk directly to people. Radio, town halls, and so he started doing that. He started giving speeches. And you know what's amazing? When they presented that legislation to Congress, it was approved with only three votes against, because it had gone directly to the people.

Speaking is one of the most powerful things we can create in the world. And by the way, can powerful things be used for both good and evil? - Yes. - Adolf Hitler gave 8,000 speeches. He knew exactly what he was doing. He wrote in his book "Mein Kampf" many years before the Second World War. He wrote in that book, essentially, that the microphone was more powerful than the pen. That

speaking

was more powerful than writing. That if you really wanted to stimulate people, if you really wanted to change their hearts and minds, you did it with great stories, you did it with great speeches.

Speaking is one of the most powerful forces that exists in our society. It creates an advantage in business and your professional life that far outweighs any other advantage. Here, let's try a few things. Are you aware of that in corporate Am

eric

a? I imagine this is probably pretty consistent in the westernized and civilized corporate world. In corporate Am

eric

a, people make a little more money for every inch of height. Did you know that? In fact, they make a little more money. They're more inclined to get the promotion, they're more inclined to make the sale. a little bit higher.

And by the way, is there a gender pay gap problem? - Yes. - Yes. And that's why there are all kinds of small adjustments in our society that are small optimizations. The gender pay gap, how big is that they say these days? They say it's around 10%. It's around 10%. But if we take away the fact that, for example, it came out. Do you know that Uber pays male drivers more than female drivers? - That? - Yes. Well, this is one way statistics lie. Female drivers choose not to drive as many hours, they choose not to drive during rush hour, and they choose not to drive in dangerous neighborhoods.

And so Uber doesn't pay them less. Uber pays them exactly the same, they choose to do things differently. Women choose not to accept jobs where they die. Men die in the workforce approximately seven times more often than women. And when you remove all of those things, the gender pay gap closes a little bit. It's still there, but it closes a little, does that make sense? But these little professional advantages like height, masculinity or whatever, are minuscule. But the biggest advantage you can give yourself in the business world and in the entrepreneurial space is being able to speak.

If an extra inch of height can earn you 0.01% more income, being a speaker, being comfortable sharing your ideas, being influential in the way you communicate can triple or more your income. Eliminate all other advantages. It is the most powerful thing you can do for your professional life. The problem is that we don't do it. Because we are afraid. And the craziest thing is that none of you were born afraid. None of you. Now, as I understand all this fear, what we did before you guys came here this morning is we took 15 envelopes. 15 envelopes and in those envelopes we wrote a few words, a couple of questions.

An envelope, a word, a question, and then we put those envelopes under, don't check. We stuffed the envelopes under the chairs and don't think we didn't notice the beanbags. We put them under. And in a minute, when I say go, they'll check under the chair or under the bean bag and see if they have an envelope. If you have an envelope, I want you to check what is happening in your body and this is why. Because if you received the envelope, you should not open it. You'll just get up, walk over here, walk up on stage.

And then I'll have a handheld microphone, and I'll give them the handheld microphone, and then they'll open the envelope and see the word or the question, and you're going to talk for three minutes about that topic in front of this audience. - That's great! - I'll tell you some of the words, one of the words is orgasm. Another word that appears there is Brexit. Another word that's there, Donald Trump. So who's ready? Go ahead and check it out. Okay, stop it, no envelopes. Now the reason I do that, did you find an envelope? Sometimes I have envelopes, so they may be stuck in there.

The reason I did that is because there were different, there were a variety of different emotions that came up in the room. Now I want a totally honest answer, please don't worry about looking good. I want a totally honest answer. There were some people in this room who were absolutely, genuinely excited about this idea. Who were they? Wow, welcome to Mindvalley University, because it's not like that in the rest of the world. That was a good 15% of the room. In the rest of the world, in a room this size, it would be one or two people, and it would almost always be one of my clients.

That's how it is. That's how it is. How many people were a little excited, but also their stomach was doing a little backflip routine, okay? Alright. And how many of you were thinking, "I'm not the least bit excited," and I feel like I might actually throw up." Who was in the category? And then, how many of you were thinking, "Please, no! "No envelope! "I won't do it!" Anyone? And then there were a couple of you who thought, "If there's an envelope, I'm not going to take it out." I know that. And then what do I want from you?

I What I want to know is that I used to be in the category of that, if I was sitting in that chair and I found, reached down and touched an envelope, I would have immediately pulled my hand back and pretended I didn't have an envelope. I'm not kidding. I was so terrified of

public

speaking

that if you called me on a Friday. If you called me on a Friday and asked me to give a talk, no. If you called me on a Monday, and invited me to a talk on Friday, I would have flat out said No.

Without a doubt, I don't care what the topic was, how big the audience was, I would have said no. And when I said no, then I would have started to feel bad. And I would have continued to feel bad on Tuesday, and Wednesday, and Thursday, and I would have woken up Friday morning feeling bad, and I said no. I don't even want to think what would have happened to me if I said yes. That's how terrified I was. But do you know what's so important about this? Not one person in this room was born afraid to communicate.

No person in this room was born with a fear of

public

speaking, no one. No matter how afraid you are today, no matter how nervous you may feel today, not one person in this room was born with a fear of public speaking, not one. It is very important that you understand that. Can you imagine what would happen if a baby went out afraid of speaking in public? How would you change her diaper? How would she get food? What happens is that at first, when babies are born, we are very excited by their noises, right? Baby noises, aren't they amazing?

I get home if I miss Zoe's bedtime. Like every now and then I miss him, I come home and she's already in bed, I want to go wake her up. You can imagine my wife's reaction when I say that. I say, "I'm going to wake up." I'll never go wake her up. "I'm going to go wake her up." "No!" But you know, now in the morning, when she wakes up, she wakes up and immediately starts talking. And she speaks in a strange mix of English and Spanish, and now Estonian. And he is beautiful, we love him and most parents love him.

But then there comes a time, after ages three and four, when the conversation is no longer so good. When you're on a plane and the kid is making too much noise and that's where you're trying to get to. Inner voice. She thinks before she speaks. Children should be seen and not heard. And starts. And almost every person in this room was subjected to at least some of this as a child. And from there came your apprehension to communicate, from there came your apprehension to speak. Because social conditioning started putting a cocoon around you and started telling you to control yourself.

To not be so excited. It's true? - Yes. - And then we continue living with that fear, we continue living with that. And then it gets even worse, because we go to school, and it's one of the things that teachers forget. Teachers forget what it is to think like a child. They do. Look guys, when children are born, they have no meaning. They don't know what things mean. And so your whole job for the rest of your life is to evaluate meanings. Oh, I have pain in my stomach from hunger, and when I cry, I eat.

Check it out,I believe them because I wasn't nervous. It is very important that you do not show your nerves to the public. Does this make sense to you? - Yes. - Now. A couple more things I want to share with you about how to feel super comfortable being on stage. Super, super comfortable. One of them is that your breathing has a lot to do with how safe you feel. The way you breathe has a lot to do with how safe you feel as a human being. And I think this is a design of the structure of Homo sapiens, and it works like this.

You have lungs. And at the top of your lungs, the hairs that extract oxygen from the air you breathe are scarcer up here. And they are dense in the lower

part

of the lungs. Now, if you didn't know our history, you might think that's a terrible idea, right? I mean, you might think that's a terrible idea, because where do people spend most of their time breathing? Up here. They breathe here all the time. The problem is that when you breathe up here, you don't get enough oxygen. And if you don't get enough oxygen, your brain lacks oxygen and that triggers the production of cortisol and adrenaline.

However, by design it now seems flawed, because we spend a lot of time sitting and grinding our lungs, so we constantly produce this rush of adrenaline and cortisol when we sit at a desk for too long. It's one of the reasons. Have you ever seen brain scans that show the brain of someone who has been sitting for about 30 minutes and show someone who has been walking? The brain scan of the person who has been sitting is out. There is no flow there. There is no electrical circuit working. It looks like New York in a blackout. But if you look at the person who's been walking, there's like fireworks in there.

And I think one of the reasons for this is that when we sit down, crack our lungs, and breathe only through the top, we go back to the reptilian brain. And we stop being able to think really consciously. And then the problem with that is that if we breathe like that, what do we say before? If we breathe like this and produce cortisol and adrenaline, we naturally

become

more pessimistic. I wonder if that's why there are so many antidepressants on the market today. Would not be. It couldn't be related to that at all. But it's a perfect Homo sapiens design: we're meant to be like that.

Because for most of our history, we didn't sit at desks. Now, I want you to imagine for a minute, if you and I are walking and we stumble upon some lion tracks along the way. We stumbled across these lion footprints in the dirt, where are you going to start breathing? How are you going to breathe? Will you breathe? What do you think? Tell me, would we walk and see lion tracks and say, "Oh, look, lion tracks." Would we do that? No, no, we wouldn't. We looked at them and only did one of two things. One would be to leave.

And stop breathing. Instant way to produce adrenaline and cortisol. Because? Because we want to move to the reptilian brain as quickly as possible. We want the fastest reflexes possible at this point. It's true? And the other way we could breathe is to leave. Same thing, right? The same thing, we are going to produce adrenaline, cortisol, which will transport us to reptilian brains, so we will only operate on instinct. And when we just act on instinct, everything will seem scarier than it really is, because it's safer that way, okay? That was perfect for most of our history.

But do you know what it's not perfect for? The person who is about to go on stage and give the presentation, because I've seen them. I'm talking about professional-level, world-famous speakers who stand on the side here and say, "I'm going to do my presentation." And they do this. And they breathe like that all the time. Now I'm afraid to do it myself. Do not do it. I want you to know that when you breathe fully, you communicate to your DNA that your environment is safe. This is one of the reasons why meditation is so incredibly powerful.

We can talk about esoteric things and energies that flow through the universe. Yes ok. We can also talk about the practical reality of this machine. And this machine likes it when you breathe fully, because in nature the only time you breathe fully is when there is nothing around to threaten you. This makes sense? And so, before you go on stage, as you prepare for your talk, take a deep breath. When you breathe fully, you will make your body feel safe. Next are your eyes. They say that the eyes are the windows of the soul. Well, I would tell you that the eyes are also absolutely connected to your sense of well-being.

When you are afraid, you use your eyes in a very concentrated way. We walk again and see the lions' tracks. Will we look at them or stare at them? You say, "Oh, look, lion tracks." No. It's going to be, "Lion tracks! What do we want to know right now, quick? What do we want to know? Which direction are they going? That's helpful. How about, how big are they? Do you have any ideas?" "How many of you have ever seen a lion, like in a zoo or something? They're bigger without glass. How many of you have seen a four-by-four lion in Africa?

Aren't they bigger in the four? How many of you have seen a lion walking? Few of you, hey. You're just walking. You're walking, and there's a lion there. Your DNA knows what a lion is. Quite a few of your ancestors were digested by lions , so your DNA knows. And then you look at that lion footprint. Do you want to know which direction it's going, how big the lion is, how many lions are there in the pride? Cubs with them? And by the way, the most important thing of everything, how fresh are they? And by the way, in case this happens to you, because you know it could be like this.

If you see the lion's footprints, if you want to know how fresh they are, just do this. And then if sand gets in, they'll be there in 15 minutes. And at that moment your eyes are not going to look either. They're not going to look and say, "Oh, look, the lions are going that way." "Oh great". Your eyes are going to go away. And they are going to look for everything. Well guess what? When people get nervous, they start doing that with the audience. And they look around like that, super fast, and they focus on things. And they get scared.

I want to share with you a really powerful distinction. Do emotions affect our body? - Yes. - Does our body affect our emotions? - Yes. - It's a feedback loop, right? He's like Tony Robbins. He says, "How quickly can you change the way you feel?" In the blink of an eye! "Well, change your physiology! "If you want to create massive action in your life, change your physiology now! "Level 1000!" By the way, that feels pretty good. Is not wrong. The fact of the matter is that if we look at someone, we can roughly tell what emotion they are experiencing based on their body, is that true? - Yes. - But tell me the difference.

If I say there's a depressed person around here, you'll say, "The shoulders are slumped, the face is slack," right? If I tell you there's an angry person around here, the shoulders are tense, the fists are clenched, the face is tight. But if I tell you that we have two people here, one is excited and the other is nervous, tell me the difference? What is the difference? There really isn't. Do you both have sweaty palms? Are you both breathing here? Are you both vibrating inside? Yes. There is no real difference, they are the same emotion. In reality they are exactly the same emotion.

I will tell you that excitement is simply nervousness about something interesting. Good? And nervousness is simply excitement about something scary. That's all. And what that means is that the person here is getting ready to go on stage. The person who is here getting ready to go on stage, if she is creating scary movies and images, then she will get nervous. If they are creating images and movies about how great everything is going to be, then they will get excited. Does this make sense to you? - Yes. - So when we combine all of this and recognize that to feel really good, we want to breathe fully.

And I want to share with you a distinction about this. I share this from time to time and it's a bit controversial. Are you okay with a little controversy? - Yes. - I want to suggest to you that, and some of you may have seen me say this, I think there's a YouTube video that Mindvalley posted where I said this, so for some of you it won't be a new idea. Maybe you heard it from someone else too. But I want to tell you that I don't think cigarettes are chemically addictive. So there are two types of addiction, right?

How many of you have ever

become

addicted to a video game? Where are all the Candy Crush people? Yes, my wife and I almost had to call a divorce lawyer, Candy Crush. So can a video game be addictive? - Yes. - Yes. But that is not an external chemical addiction, it is an emotional addiction or an internal chemical addiction. So when you stop playing Candy Crush, what happens to you? Your husband loves you again. No no. He never stopped loving you, he likes you again. But when you stop playing a video game, nothing happens inside, is that true?

You don't vomit, you don't get a headache. When you stop drinking coffee and have been drinking coffee all your life, what can happen to your body? - Headaches. - Headaches and, in extreme cases, heroin-like withdrawal symptoms, including fever, tremors, vomiting and temperature. Is incredible. And if someone quits heroin, symptoms appear. If someone quits cocaine, there are symptoms. If someone is addicted to alcohol and stops drinking alcohol, it is called DT and it is the same thing. When someone stops smoking, what happens? Nothing. Nothing, they don't have a headache, they don't vomit. They have oral and finger attachment just like a child has when you take away their pacifier.

The next time you see an adult with a cigarette or e-cigarette, I want you to create a picture in your head of what it really is. Is it them walking around like little Jessica Simpson, or no, no, the other one. Yes, Jessica, the little one, right? This is an adult with a cigarette, this is it. That's all. They just do it because it feels good, like they could change into a doll too. But the only problem is that the pacifier will not solve their true addiction. The real addiction they have is to breathe deeply. That's the addiction they have.

The addiction they have is to breathe deeply. There are some other things, like personal meanings like, "Damn, I'll do this, no matter what they say!" Then they feel important. By the way, it could kill you. There is some adventure. But the most important thing they are really addicted to is deep breathing. Because when you take a big breath of air that fills your lungs, your body knows the environment is safe. You wouldn't take that big lung full of air if there was a lion, a hyena, a snake, a spider, or a lawyer. You wouldn't take that big lung full of air.

And then what happens, come on. Grab a cigarette with me. Put whatever you want on it, but have a cigarette. Alright? And then he acts with me, we turn it on and then you look at me first. You turn it on and you go like this, you go. Okay, everyone do this with me, ready? Here we go. No wonder they do that after sex. I mean, doesn't it feel good? Breathing like this will make you feel calm, so what I want you to think about is that every time you need to go on stage there are a lot of things that will make you feel better.

Breathing deeply, using your eyes gently and looking. When a bushman is sitting in Africa, making stone tools or carving an arrow, he looks toward the horizon and then looks down and out. If there was a threat, he would stare. If he is relaxed, he will watch. Then we breathe deeply. We look. We see it come out beautifully. We never let the public see us nervous. And the last thing that is so important is that you start the talk with a predictable laugh. How many of you have ever given a talk and, the moment you got the audience to laugh for the first time, you instantly felt better?

Who has had that experience? And many of us have had the experience by accident, but what if we did it on purpose? My friend Jack Canfield, do you know what he does? It is fun. What he will do before he goes on stage is have slides of all the funniest comics he has seen over the past few months. And he just plays the slides and everyone starts laughing. He didn't even have to say a word yet. But he feels good, they feel good, what a great warm-up act. I saw Eddie Izzard. Eddie Izzard, the comedian. He created the first public Twitter wall I saw at an event.

He put up this huge screen, with the Twitter feed, so the audience could write to him on Twitter. And they put it publicly. And the things people wrote were hilarious. The audience had tears on his face. The audience was the opening act! He found a way to make you laugh, and so what I want to suggest to you is that the ultimate peace for you is to be predictable in the first

part

, to know exactly what you are going to say so you can create a predictive message. Audience response in the first 30 seconds, does that make sense?