Think Fast, Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

Welcome, I am very excited today for

talk

ing about speaking effective in spontaneous situations. Thank you all for joining us, although the title of my

talk

is grammatically incorrect, I thought I could scare some of you, but I learned that teaching here at the Business School that captures attention is difficult, so something as simple as I thought I could attract some of you here, so this is going to be a highly interactive and participatory work today that does not feel comfortable, that you do not feel comfortable, but that you could do some of you. completely. To talk to people by your side, there will be opportunities to stand up and practice some things because I

think

that the way we become communicators is communicating, so let's start immediately, I would like to ask everyone to read this prayer and, while reading this prayer, the most important thing for me is that you are that you are a number of fs.

FS excellent great, did anyone find four well? Someone found only five fs and someone finds six that there are six fs what the word of two letters ends in F did many of us, we ensure that we make sure to do so so that he can torment his friends and family on a later date when I was first exposed to this more than 12 years ago. Do this because this is a perfect analogy for what we are going to talk about today. Mainly, on a portion of speaking in public, not the type that plans in advance the guy in which time really passes

think

ing that it could even create slides for these are the key notes the presentation of the conference.

The formal toasts of what is not what we are talking about today are talking about spontaneous work when they are in a business situation that is asked in the students' situation. Said what is one of the things we could do to help him be more successful here and at the top of that list was this notion of responding to cold calls, do everyone know what a cold call is where the bad teacher as I look at some students says what they think and there is a lot of panic and a lot of silence, so, therefore? From a hybrid version of what they do the reality is that speaking spontaneous is actually more frequent than planning to speak, maybe it is giving introductions that you are at a dinner and someone says that you know it, and so you would For a day, for time?

I love listening to the questions that you have about this topic or other issues related to

communication

so that our agenda is simple to be an effective communicator, regardless of whether it is planned or spontaneous, you need to have your anxiety under control, so we will begin there in second place of what we are going to talk about is a basic rule for the interactivity that we will have today and then finally we will participate in the heart of what we will be a lot of activity, and what we are going to participate. With anxiety management, 85% of people tell us that they are nervous when they speak in public and I think that the other 15% are lying well, we could create a situation in which we could put them nervous in fact, in fact, last week, a study by the University of Chapman of the University of Chapman, the Americans who are what fears most and between being caught in a terrorist attack that has an identity that has an identity that has an identity that has an identity Identity, what I had spoken in the public among the five, was talking about others, this is a fear and a fear.

I use that word managing very carefully because I don't think we want to overcome anxiety actually helps us to give us energy helps us focus. What we are doing is important, but we want to learn to manage it, so I would like to present some

techniques

that can work and all these

techniques

are based on academic research, but before I would love to like it, what do you think they feel you at the audience? uncomfortable. I heard that many of you were, uncomfortable, you feel very uncomfortable, right? What do we do now a couple of you who probably like to see someone suffer well, but most of us are not, so what do we do?

If you are planned or spontaneous, it is to make your audience be comfortable because if you feel comfortable, you can receive your message and when I say comfortable, I do not mean the fact that your message has to be in sugar and pleasant and that they hear that a hard message may be able to be in a hard message, but they have to be in a place where they can receive it, so it is a bit what it does. It can be used immediately to help you feel more comfortable that the former has to do when you begin to feel those anxiety symptoms for most people, this happens in the initial minutes before speaking in this situation, what happens is that many of us begin to feel whatever happens to you, perhaps your stomach becomes a bit gorglorate, perhaps your legs.

In a spiral out of control, research on conscious attention tells us that if we begin to feel those symptoms of anxiety, we simply greet our anxiety and say that this is that this I feel nervous, I am about to make something of consequence and simply by greeting their anxiety and recognizing that it is normal and natural that 85% of people tell us that they really have it really, you can leave the sea of ​​that anxiety, it is not necessary that it is not necessary that it is not necessary that it is not necessary that It can reduce anxiety.

Touring, so the next time you start feeling that these signs of anxiety anxiety breathe deeply and say that this I feel anxious, I notice that some of you take some notes, there is a brochure that will come in the end that has everything I must say that I cannot guarantee that I will say it, but you will have it there in addition to this approach that works very well and that this is a technique that I helped to do an investigation in which I graduate in which I graduate in which I graduate The school that graduates with the school that graduates me.

Speech situation most of us when we are presenting planned or spontaneous believe that we have to do well and feel that we are doing how many of you have acted that you have acted singing or dancing. Correct note or in its correct line at the right time in the right place that has made a mistake, it ruins the audience that ruins people on stage, but when it presents there is no correct way, it is certainly better and worse forms, but there is no correct correct form, so we need the presentation to be something other than the performance and what I would like to suggest is what we need to be a conversation now with a conversation with a conversation with a conversation That, instead of saying that he will act to act to act to act to act to act to act to act for you, but that I am doing, but I am, but I am, but I do not want to say that this is not a conversation, instead of saying, instead of saying that I am performing a performance, but that I do not have enough.

To give you some concrete things that you can first start with the questions by your very nature, they are dialogic, they are two ways. What was one of the first things I did here for you? I made you tell the amount of FS and lift my hands. Presentations instead of writing bullet points, I listed the questions that I am going to answer and that puts me in that way of conversation if I looked at my notes for today's talk, which will see that it is only a series of questions at this time, I am answering the question of how we handle our anxiety beyond the questions that another very useful technique to make us talk with the conversational language, many nervous speakers, at the physical distance, if you have ever seen a housing Alien, what tells you something that, for what makes me a long time, which, for what I like, I like this.

As far as possible because the speakers threatens us, it makes us nervous, so we want to get away from you, we do the same linguistically, we use the language that we distance ourselves. The inclusive conversational language has to do with pronouns instead of the step one step two, step three first, what we must do is that this is the second one that should be considered is that here use conversational language, so the conversation can also help you manage your anxiety. The third technique that I would like to share is an investigation that I really started when I was undergraduate here.

Shinness institutes in the world and especially in the country and investigated a bit with him that analyzed how his orientation to time influences is how to react and what we learned is that if he can take it to the present moment instead of being concerned about future consequences. I want all those to be future states, so if we can take ourselves to the present moment that we will not worry about these future states and, therefore, they will be less nervous, there are many ways to present themselves present, I know a professional speaker who has paid $ 10,000 per hour to speak is a good concert that becomes very nervous.

We do not recommend that we all go to that level of effort, because it begins with sweaty breath correctly, but a walk through the building before speaking that can do it, there are other ways if you have ever seen act and prepare to make their event that listen to music that focus on a song or a playlist that helps them to have them at the time you can do things as simple as tell Being oriented is present that is that tongue Twisters that says that a tongue twist forces you to be at the time, otherwise, you will say it badly and that it has the additional benefit of heat your voice, most nerve speakers do not heat their voice.

I my favorite tongue twister and I like this tongue twist because if you say you are wrong, you say a mischievous word and I will listen to see if I listen to any naughty word this morning to repeat after me, there are only three phrases that cuts a sheet that results from me. Focused on saying it well and trying to discover what was the mischievous word that you were in the present moment that is how easy it is, so it is very possible for us to handle our anxiety, we can do it initially greeting anxiety when we begin to feel those signs that we can do when we rethink the situation as a conversation and we do it when we orient ourselves present.

Let's start in the central part of what we are doing today, which is how to feel more comfortable speaking in spontaneous situations, some very simple basic rules for you first, I will first identify four steps that I think are critical to become effective to speak in a spontaneous situation with each of those steps, I will ask that they are not more painful that are not more painful than to say that the tongue and tongue require that you require that you require that you require the person who requires them to require the person who requires the people who require the people who require the people to require the people who require the people who require them to be.

Painful and finally I will finally conclude with a phrase or say that it comes from the wonderful world of improvisation through the continuous studies program here in Stanford during the last 5 years. I have taught a class with Adam Tobin, he is a teacher who is a teacher in the UH creative arts department, he teaches films and new media and is an improvisation expert and that we associate with people who help Peoply speak more spontaneously to the one who drives us to people and has helped us speak more. Ideas of improvisation that I want to give them that they really stay, so I am sharing them with you to help you remember these techniques and, again, at the end of all this, you will get a brochure that has this list, so we are going to start the first thing that is put in the way people are about talking, so we strive, we will have an answer that we are going to the best answer.

What we can do the first step in our process is to get out of the way easier to say than most of us in this room are in this room because we are type A personalities, that we work hard, we believe that we quickly make sure we do things well, but that can really serve as a harmful, since we try that at the time I would like to show it a little of this, and that we need to do it, so we to the activity that will do an activity that we have done. You are able and willing to ask you to stand up and ask you about 30 seconds to look at you around you in this environment and you will point out different things and I know it is rude to point out, but for this exercise, please, I want you to point out things and that I will call the things you are in a voice.

Sitting by your side by your side, you will simply shout and shout is important the wrong name, so in a moment I will ask you to stop and do that, please lift your hand if you already have the first five or six things you are going to call, yes, what is what it isOf what I mean to all, they are all excellent players. I told him that the game shouts the wrong name and you have to start dominating the game that is that you help you help yourself to be a brain. Make this activity incorrect is to do what it has just done, there is no way to make mistake About to say go and I would like to indicate anything around here, including me, is it okay, I hope it's not a bad thing?

Time to have left Hi time, from time to time, you can stand because in just a few moments we will do it again, so if you are comfortable standing, we are about to do it again, first thank you. When passing through fruits and vegetables, some of you were going through things that began with the letter, a right that is your brain saying well, you told me that you do not accumulate, so I will try to be a little more tortuous and I will give you patterns of P well when we show you that the class I told you about that kind of improvisation, we like to say that your brain is there to help you these things that have helped you be successful, They said a childbirth that Windshield Wiper, that you like it, only suggest that they suggest your brain that suggest you help you help you, as if they have helped you, like a Windshield Wiper.

What happens is fine, so we will do this activity again this time, try the best thing to thank your brain if you provide you with patterns or stock batteries and simply thank thanks brain and ignore the good. Time yes, was it a little easier than the second time not, that's fine? We are starting these skills are not like a light switch, it's not as if you learned these sks skills and, sudden I like it, but that feels me, but that I feel, but that I am not sitting. Going out and helps you train to get out of your own way that you are working against the muscle memory that you have developed in the course of your life with a brain that acts very

fast

to help you solve problems, but, in essence, in spontaneous speech situations, you press yourself too much to yourself trying to solve us well, so a game like this teaches us to go out in our way that we teach us to see the things that we have to see the things that we have to see the things we have The update. rather than answering to react means to act again you ' Maxims eat from improvisation is one of my favorite dare to be dull and in a room like this telling you dare to be dull is offersive and i apologize but This Will Help rather than Striving for greatness dare to be dull and if you will Greatness it's When You Set Greatness as Your Target That It Gets In The Way of You Ever Getting There BeCouse You Over Evaluate You Overanalyze You Freeze Up So The First Step In Our Process Today is To Get Out of Our Own Way Dare To Be Dull Easier Said Than Done eleven you practice in a game just as simple as the one we practic is a great way to do it but that not angouh getting out of ur awn way is important but the second step of our process you Are A Part of As An Opportunity rather than a challenge and a Threat When I Coach Executives on Q & A Skills when they go in front of the media or whatver invesstors they see it as an adversarial experience me versus Them and One of the First Things I Work on is change the Way you you Q & a session for example is an opportunity for you it's an Opportunity to clarify it's an Opportunity to understand What People Are thinking that if we consider it as an opportunity, it feels very different, we see it differently and, therefore, we have more freedom to answer when I feel that you are challenging me, I will do the least to answer and protect myself if I see this as I see this as I have this opportunity to Explain and expand, I will interact differently from you, so the situations of speaking, which is better than the situations that allow you the opportunities, so when you have the opportunity for opportunities, so you have done once at a dinner in the corporation, and you get hygigo that you do once you do once you do once the boss.

Keep in mind that you present it, it says very thanks for the opportunity, instead of the right thing, better, do it well, so see things as an opportunity committee that I have a game to play to help us with this, it is fun that the holidays approach. It is a bit more difficult and you cannot do the second part of the game, so after explaining the game, this gives you the opportunity to meet someone, so it works if you have a couple that you and your partner will exchange imaginary gifts, pretend that pretending that you have a gift that can be a great gift can be a small gift and give yourself a gift to your partner to your partner that you will give you the gift and tell yourself that you give yourself a gift because you do not give you To your partner.

Box and you're going to look inside and you're going to say the first thing that comes to mind at the time, not what you have thought, or what there is after that, remember what we are talking about before it still plays that it is still at stake, it's fine, you're accumulating look there my favorite, I said that someone gave me a gift during this game, and I looked at him. In this game, the opportunity is for you the recipient of gifts to name a gift that is fun that is an opportunity, it is not a threat, but the real opportunity is for the gift of gifts because the gift gift has to say so that you are very much, thanks for giving me a frog leg and the person I will see you and say that you knew a frog leg because whatever you find that you find the person you receive that you receive you.

They say that well what great opportunity now some of you are sitting there, oh that is difficult, I do not want to do, I will make a ridicule of myself. The box is heavy and a pen in it is well, it does, there is no way to make mistakes, it is fine, whatever it is in the picture is in the picture, you can return it and get what I loved later to the person, so he will name him, he will tell him thanks for what he has seen in the picture that the person who gave you glad that I have excited me.

To do this with a partner, everyone has a partner well in their associations in their associations, choose a person A and a person B who may be or sitting, it depends totally on you to choose one A and choose B ok b ok bay bail. We can all have our seats if we can all take our seats, please, I know that I am telling a room of many MBA students to stop talking and that is difficult, ladies and gentlemen well, did you get what you wanted quite good, but always? Wow nice if you have a Ferrari, you need a transmission, I like who more found something that surprised what you found a live unicorn Just remind ourselves that we have to get out of our own way as we have spoken before, but to see this and to have fun?

Little Dower A Little Doubting Okay But In That Last Game You Were All Smiling and Looked Like You Were Having Fun So What You Reframe The Spontaneous Speaking Opportunity as an Opportunity as I Nervous lessive and you can accomplish subthing pretty Darn Good in This Case a Fun Outcome this reminds us of perhaps The Most Famous of All Improvisation Sayings Yes and a Lot of Us Live Our Communication Lives Saying No But Yes And Open Up A large number of opportunities Yes and, to a question, someone did this only mean the approach that adopts the situation, so it will ask me questions that are an opportunity that does and will continue instead of not being defensive, so we have achieved the first two steps of our process.

To respond properly, but we often jump, we hear enough to think that we get it and then continue to think about what we are going to answer and then we respond that we really need to listen fundamentally as a communicator that his work is to be in the service of his audience and if he does not understand what his audience, he cannot meet that work, so we must reduce the reduction and hear that I have a fun game to play in this game, it will Do. Us to you? It is fine if you are not a good uuestro, it is fine, you will see the benefit of doing this, so with the partner with whom you worked with the person A is going to go first this time you will simply tell your partner that you are really going to expel your partner what is of fun that you will have fun today, it is fine.

Somewhat fun partner you're going to do today, would you like to play? K E Y O U R S E A T So, what did we learn what we learned besides that we are not so good for spelling that stop between the words it has to stop? Leaving our own path, we replicate the situation as an opportunity that are things that we do inside our head, but at the time of interacting we have to listen first before we can respond to the spontaneous application, perhaps my favorite maxim, the maximum favorite comes from this activity, not only do you do something that they are there, listen to listen and then respond now how we respond that we respond in the structure of the structure.

To speak successful spontaneous and, because of which he planned to speak is to have a structure, I would like to present two of the most frequent, popular and useful structures that you can use to communicate a message in a spontaneous situation, but before arriving there we have to talk about the value of the structure, increase what is called processing fluidity. Because he will remember that I remember the phone numbers when I had to remember if I wanted to call someone well, young people do not need to remember the phone numbers, they just need to look at a presentation button of an image and then the voice begins to speak at the other end of 10 digits, the 10 -digit phone numbers of 10 digits It is really difficult to remember the 10 -digit phone numbers.

The first useful structure that has probably heard or used in some incarnation is the structure of benefit of problem solving that begins by talking about the problem of the problem that you then speak a way of solving it and then you talk about the benefits of continuing along it, very effective helps it, like the speaker, remember that it helps your audience to know where you have gone with a tourist guide in this campus many years ago. To train to be a tourist guide here, they used to align us at one end of the quad and make us walk back directly and if you failed it had to start again until today, I can walk back in a straight line because of that, since, since, since the training, what do you think the most important thing?

If I said Hello, my name is Matt, come on, do you want to know where you are going there? How long will you take? We did it, it becomes an opportunity solution, which are the steps to achieve it and then the benefit of another structure that works equally well is what now what structures it starts talking about what it is, then you talk about why it is important and then what are the next steps are a wonderful formula to answer questions so that the questions so that they feel to the people, so, if those who invite me to someone, which may change.

Now, what is reality? When you are in a spontaneous speech situation, you must do two things simultaneously, you must find out what to say and how to say it, these structures help you telling you how to say it if you can feel comfortable with these structures, you can be in a situation in which you can respond to spontaneous situations that we are going to practice to the practice of what we are going to the situation that is a family situation with all the children who are in this child. Slinky to Your Partner Using Eithher Problem solution benefit or opportunity it helps you it helps you focus get with your partner and we're only going to have one partner sell to the other partner okay so get with your partner one of you will volunteer to the otherOkay Sell a Slinky Using Problem Solution Benefit or What So What Now Please Begin Yeah So we have the brochures, but I will also do the microphone, so when you report this, you can move on and transmit them, does it make sense after which?

Did the sales budget do a good job? Did they use the impressive structure that recruited them all for my next business, since my supposed, please try to ignore this, but while we talk, the brochure I told him is about to make the back of that brochure? That is a bit ironic, but it is true that if you have that structure, then you are free to think about what you are going to say that it reduces the cognitive load of finding out what you are saying and how you are going to say that all this is in that brochure, so what this means that it means that we do not have that we have anxiety in our capacity and approaches to help us talk about the first thing, what you have to do that we do not have to do that we do not have to do that we do not have to do that we do not have to do that we do not Anxiety under control and talk about how you can do it by giving up your anxiety by rethinking as a conversation and being in the present time once you do to practice a series of four steps that will help you speak spontaneously first.

Second correct gives gifts so I mean that I see your interactions as an opportunity, do not challenge the third time, take the time to listen and finally use structures and you have to practice these structures that I practice these structures in my children. I have two children when they ask me the questions that are usually what, so what they do not know now, but when they are granted the houses of their friends and see that their friends ask their dad, do not answer what, so what you know now, now when they sit to their friends and see that they feel the most their friends.

Ultimately, you have the opportunity before you become more convincing, safer, more connected as a speaker, if you take advantage of these techniques if you are interested in learning more, here, it is where it connects me a little well, I have written a book that many of the MBA students who take the strategic

communication

classes here that I and others teach that they read to speak, and that it becomes crazy Call, I do not have great information and that I have much of the information that I have called, and that I have called, and that I have called, and that I have written, and that you have to write, and that you have to write more to make more important information that must be done to make a curiosity that is not a fruit, and that I have a lot of the information, and that I have called, and that I have called, and that I have called me, and that it has called me, and that it has called me, Write, and that you have to write, and that you have to write more, and that you have to make more important information.

Fond of speaking, so that is the end of my plug what I would really like to do is enter a spontaneous speech situation with you and I would love to entertain any questions you have, there are two people who are running with microphones, so some of us who remember the Phil Donahue program. Hostile situations yes, so when you are in a challenging situation first, it should not be a surprise for you, it should not be a surprise before I speak, you should think about what the environment will be like to be the environment, so I should not surprise you that there may be some challenges in the room when there are hostile situations that arise that you have to recognize it, so someone says that it is a ridiculous idea that I think of the idea that I think it does not happen to me that I He has given me the idea that, so the idea does not happen to me.

Naming the emotion of agreement, so you sound to the really angry person, say that I am not angry, I am frustrated, now we are discussing their correct mental state emotional state, so I say that something like I hear that you have a lot Product, he hears you, what really makes you a long time. On the value of our product and would give my value proposal and Then i wouled eat back and say and schouse of the value we provide we believe it's priced fairly so you anxwer the Question About Price but you reframe it in a way that you feel Skills We Just Talked about the Only Skill That i'm Adding to This is the Awareness in Advance That You Might Be In That Situation First I have to Truly listen to what i'm Hearing Right it's Vray Easy for Me When I Hear A Challenging Question Question To Get All Defensive and Not Hear what the person who asks I see him as an opportunity to rethink and explain well, so you have to practice again, but that's how I think he addresses it, are there other questions?

I see a question here, yes, please, yes, therefore, thank you very much. In fact, at this moment there are people who look at this presentation remotely what it should do is take into account that the second tries to include commitment techniques in which the audience really has to do something so that physical participation is what we did here what we did here through the games that can ask your audience to imagine how you imagine how it can achieve a goal, instead of saying that it is the goal, that we are going to say what we will say, I imagine what we are going to, what we are going to, what we are going to, What makes it what a goal can do, instead of making a goal.

The technology to which it refers has some type of voting characteristic that can open some type of wiki or google doc or some collaboration tool where people can do things and can be monitoring that while they are presenting, so I could take some breaks, I speak for 10 15 minutes and say that it is fine, apply this and we go to this Google document and that I have created and that they see what people are doing what you are doing about the variety of the variety. That are the forms that are really, the accounts that are really well with which the issues are the things that are really well with which the issues are the things that are really well with which the issues are the things that are really.

You are pointing, Oh, I have to look for where the microphone is, please, this can be similar to the first question, but um, I do many testimonies of expert witnesses, what is your recommendation to handle the interrogation? Concrete evidence that you can use to support it, does not enter with memorized terms or ways of saying it, only has ideas and issues and then you are necessary, so when I am in a situation in which people question me at the time. Paraphrase is like the Swiss army communication razor if you remember the McGyver program, it is its Mver tool correctly, so when a question comes in the way paraphrasing, it allows you to reth Actually, that is, what really gives you the opportunity to really be.

I have been an expert witness because I am not an expert in anything but those tools that I think they could be useful. Um work with UM groups that since they represent many different cultural origins, yes, is there any warning or is it a non -reverse UN strategy, so, in terms of their perspective? In account in which I am making the presentation, so I help present in the Ignite program and if you have not heard of the Ignite program here in the GSB, it is fantastic and I just made a presentation in one of these incredible classrooms that have all these cameras and only teach 35 people in Santiago Chile and needed to understand the expectations of culture of that area and what they expect and what awaits them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them to ask them for which Ask you to ask you to ask you to ask you to ask you to ask you to ask you to ask you to ask you to ask you to ask you to ask them.

Where you reflect on what are the expectations of the audience that I think we have for two more questions and then I will hung later if someone has individual questions, but some of these people really want me to keep in time. You have heard them that I am not funny beyond those jokes, so humor connects wonderfully, it is wonderfully connected, it is a great tool for connection, it is very, very risky cultural reasons, sometimes what you think is fun is not fun for other people. GOTTEN WHERE YOU WOULD HAV GOTEN IF THE Joke Would Have Hit So Basic Fundament You're Worried about the anxwers to those first two don ` Ask spontaneous questions of people who have gone through media training, so any advice for cracks in the form of the armor of asking a question without being antagonistic, but obtains a self of themselves from a direct answer, so let me give you two answers, one is that I have young children and the power of why it is a couple of times and you can go through the first two layers of training that you know that you know that you say that you say that you have to succeed.

Have people do this so that people respond in a more authentic way, what I will I really appreciate that I really ask you the one that gave you a great help. Questions later and enjoy the rest of your meeting weekend thanks