FUNNIEST TEXTS FROM EXS

Texts from your ex. The Ex that text. Does your ex ever text you and wish he'd get hit by a bus? I love you. I'll drive to your house and die on your porch. Well, I think tomorrow is garbage day. Bruh, you didn't just go there. Don't hesitate to come. I know someone who will pick you up. Take you to a place where you belong, where you can be with your own kind. Do you still hate me? Yes. On a scale of 1 to 10? If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and you, I would shoot you twice.

You have two bullets. They would rather kill you than Hitler and Bin Laden. I mean, they're both dead but hypothetically speaking, you're worse than both of them combined. I have to make sure you're done. You won't come back ruining my life or anyone else's. Do you want to be the Sun in my life? Yes ok. Then stay 92,935,700 miles away from me. Thank you. How jealous will you be once I move to Los Angeles and your ex-husband is a famous actor? Ha! Then you will remember that you had your chance. My mom is very excited for me.

Well, good thing I'll have your first autograph on our divorce certificate. Nobody cares. Man, are you moving to Los Angeles to become an actor? Oh Lord. Mom must be very proud. K. Every kiss starts with K, winking face. Too bad ugly starts with U. They don't lie. Savage starts with S. I know I shouldn't have done it, but I did it accidentally, I didn't plan to trick you on purpose. It was an accident. You don't accidentally fuck someone, idiot. Oops. Like what? You just fall and slide on his cock. Hey, are you free tonight? Who is this?

Do you know who he is. Sorry, no, I don't. Stop being an idiot. We dated for two fucking years. Satan? Oh my god, fuck you. Man, I have to change my number. Satan got my number. I must change my number. Damn, I'm going to buy a new phone. Did you know? I'm just not going to have a phone. Hi babe. Do not talk to me. I'm sorry for deceiving you. Give me another chance. Your eyes shine like stars, you have the most wonderful laugh and your beauty takes my breath away. You know, I really thought you took my breath away, but...

But what? But I just realized I was just choking on your nonsense. Damn, let a girl breathe. I mean, you probably said: Choke me, dad. Hold. Not really... You have to move on and forget me. How am I supposed to forget you every time I go out and see things that remind me of you, like trash cans and dog poop? These are too good. Too wild. I hate to say the word wild, but... They're just a little wild. Honey, I miss you... And she will give you this photo back. Oh, I knew you missed me too.

No. I'm just showing you what you're missing. Joey is coming tonight. That's the worst thing you can do. Like someone still has feelings for you and you're going to send them this. And he squeezes some lemon and rubs some salt on that wound. Come on baby, I miss you. Why don't you come right now? We can go up to my room and lie on my bed. You can show me how you really feel about me. Winky Face. Honey, I don't have enough middle fingers to show you how I feel about you. What if you said: Oh no, stay down?

We're making it. We're making it. The ultimate middle finger, extra middle finger. You were in my dream last night. And I woke up and I had to talk to you. Haha oh lawd, what was it? In fact, we were going to get back together. What a nightmare. This is the most pathetic thing you could send. Like, OMG, I dreamed we got back together. Oh my god, don't do this shit. Please don't do this shit. I'll tell you now, it's not going to work. Hey. Oh. I will show myself. I'm going to go now. This bitch is crazy.

I called. I saw it ring. So simple, so elegant. How was your day? Okay, until 5:15. Oh, it's fine. When the guy texted. 5:15, the new 666. Can we get back together? Yes. OMMGGGG REALLY???!! No. Don't play with their emotions like that. Getting my hopes up like that. I hate not sleeping next to you. I hate this. How I sleep knowing that no one is cheating on me because I'm single AF. Well, if you hate not sleeping next to anyone, why don't you go sleep with your side hoe, if you want to cheat so bad? Cheaters are going to cheat.

You're a fucking cleeshay. Name your children nonsense, work at a tattoo place, pray to crystals, 'meditate' and smoke marijuana. Grow up, you will never change. I checked it with Google Translate, because I wasn't sure if you spoke English, this is what it gave me: I keep relentlessly stalking all of your social media, because I'm madly in love with you, please come back. . Oh no, I'm desperate. I missed getting lost in those blue eyes of yours. Yes, my eyes are green. Oh, I don't even know the color of his eyes. I would be very offended if someone told me this.

If someone I dated was wrong about my eye color, how many hoes do you have to forget that my eyes are green? Well, probably, you know. Will you ever grow up and talk to me? Well, what would you like to talk about? I prefer to talk to you in person. Okay, see you in the blockbuster parking lot. Blockbusters don't even exist anymore. Exactly. Hey, long time no talk. Let's keep it that way. Short, sweet, simple. Oh, I like these. Hello Taylor!!! I thought I saw you typing on Snapchat. I was actually trying to block you. Very identifiable.

What did I tell you about being hopeful? I just ate a fish taco, he reminded me of you. What a coincidence. I just ordered a pizza and it arrived in 20 seconds. Thought of you! Wham bam, thank you ma'am. What pizzeria is that? Asking for a friend. But anyway, that's all for today. I hope you enjoyed this video. Comment below and let me know if your ex has ever texted you. And what did they say? Spill that damn tea. I was going to say bitch, you thought. But it actually spilled. Bitch, you thought I wanted to let it go.

Although it's not even tea. But anyway, I hope you enjoyed this video. If you did, make sure to hit the like button on the face. And subscribe, join the Wolfpack. I love you guys so much. Thanks for watching. Bye.