"Feel Free To Heckle" | Telling Jokes BONUS MATERIAL | Jimmy Carr

sly little drink wait a sec what do you

feel

free

to interrupt if you want there is a big oak tree but you can it was blue what I'm sorry I lost too much weight I gained weight I was eight pounds I don't know what it is I don't care too if we're going to be I don't know such maybe concerned about other people's personal appearances maybe the man who looks like a microphone shouldn't be talking what do you do for a living so you look like you should be a drummer in a band you're not in of course you're in plus of course there's no other excuse for that no a lot of people don't like my hair a lot of people think i wear a wig or that it's a comb over something but i have a comb over what isn't there yes i have huge pubic hair that just lazo is something you would enjoy which band are you in you were an origami dinosaur oh my god they are like my favorite band oh wait im thinking a Coldplay we will check in again with origami dinosaur later h mortgages, mortgages more and more. expensive, but you can explain to me how lucky a homeless person is.

I'm trying to read about the credit crunch. The newspapers are not making it easy. I'm going to write and ask the wheels on the bus that keep turning, of course the credit crunch is causing retirees to bear the brunt, well they go for the purse, so no, no, it doesn't have to be, wait i'll have a little drink of water i deserve what i

feel

hmm thank you very much fat ladies gentlemen that could have been a terrorist she could be here together this could be sarin gas she is i don't even know who she is apparently she has a nice ass you don't have No I think this is really the time for me to go out.

What is the worst interruption? Now every once in a while at a gig like there's a little wash in your I don't think so oh sorry twenty quid for every time it happened I do Know the story of the worst interruption ever to happen to a lady ca. A very beautiful and talented actress came to Pia Zadora at her best. This happened years and years later. She had worked for 20 years in Hollywood. She wanted to be taken seriously as an actress because her looks had faded over the years. of people to the play they would come watch the show and think well she's brilliant ok let's put her in the movies great idea she part Anne Frank Diaries so in the end frank diary there is no spoiler alert sequel for you She called herself Anne Frank. she was 55 at the time and fundamentally not Jewish, it's like I'm playing Winnie Mandela, so the play was meant to run for six weeks and I was going to invite all the literati in Los Angeles Carnegie to see the performance and give it a lot of importance. it lasted two nights because in the 40 minute scene on the second night someone from behind yelled that he's in the attic, how bad, how bad does that theatrical performance have to be that made an audience member collaborate with the Nazis you gotta go we bui you do well don't panic go i know i heard i'm here yeah that's good directions really my apartment you know where it is you know which one your winkle i think the exits bro can i move them all to one and then still we have the camera shot that you can see at the end when you come back because otherwise the one able to tell me the home shots are gone is that seat when the iraq war started little did i know president bush now that he left office bush is going to spend the next two years finishing his book can't believe the caterpillar is still hungry a lot of people don't like the fact that Tony Blair is now no longer prime minister and is now earning ten million pounds a year on the international speaking circuit I don't care I think that's fair enough you know he's got mouths to feed one of which is huge what did you guys do for Barack Obama to get him what you think yeah me?

I saw it all day on the news that inauguration two million people showing up in Washington to see history being made and all the pundits were lining up to describe Barack Obama and they all said the same thing that they all described Barack Obama as a cross between JFK and Martin Luther King. I thought so we understand he's going to get shot you might as well call him the new Jill Dando what did you do as Larry Clinton? an inspiration to women everywhere she has shown women everywhere there are limits to your box thank god you're back you gotta sit last no no no you gotta see In the end, we move, we move. all the time so we did the camera shot it's time to pick up five just sit in the empty seat don't disturb him he's clearly very sick don't panic we have security you'll be fine you're my new favorites just because you have a bladder like a mouse's pouch - then it happened and we could be many of us there again now 15 there was a very long word you drag all in one hmmm now you can buy a baby monitor with a 1 mile range if someone thinks it sounds good you should be able to do it Did you read about the 65 year old woman who had a baby? 65 years old and she had a baby.

I thought how much I wanted to see her on the bus. You will see the story about the man who had a baby. the man in the world has a baby though it wasn't really because he was a man with a fully functioning vagina and womb so womb man moon man sounds a bit clumsy could we shorten it to oh I know, woman? women have a favor and that happens all the time that's what beer is for was interviewed this guy thomas beatie was interviewed said the fact that i don't have a penis doesn't make me less of a man that's exactly what he means you're exactly eight inches tall and average less man just to clarify that was was was a man like you and I was a man who never had a mr. jingle he didn't have a banana tommy he was a man so he had a man fanny it can be a bit depressing being a single man can be a bit boring like i have an inspirational story this will cheer you up my friend emily worries.

She is beautiful. Who knows that she is 8. I tell you what video piracy is becoming a real problem. This is not acceptable. From time to time, broadsheets ask me this. have sex with good Angelina Jolie I'd love to try oh sorry Angelina Jolie I got emotional sorry which celebrity would I care more about saying listen I lost the ability to speak I'll be helpful Sarah groped my face what look oh you oh you don't have one of these how seriously you don't have you know what days you should get one just what sorry you know she was touching my face i realized you're a little confused right doing her how is it?

Do you have any photo? Oh bless her little heart p hers People with Tourette Syndrome what she gets excited about was originally about suicide bombers. I've toned it down for you.