Every Star Wars Movie Reviewed - Pt. 2 - The Prequels

Star Wars The Phantom Menace was the most disappointing as my son yes, before I

star

t this meltdown, I have to address the big red letter in the room, Mr. Red Letter Media's plinky reviews are probably the best analysis of the Star Wars

prequels

on the internet and, unfortunately for me, they are incredibly in-depth. These

movie

s have been around for a while and there's almost nothing I can say that hasn't already existed. Someone said it, but you guys have been demanding that I review these

movie

s for years and I have a lot to say, so I'm going to go in with a clear head and put a cosmonaut spin on things because I don't like these movies, I barely like them, ironically, these movies are not a guilty pleasure for me because when I watch them I don't feel any pleasure, only guilt, like I said in the last video, you have to be brainwashed to like these movies.

I know this because they brainwashed him, they put out those boring movies with a racist Jamaican alien cartoon and they sold us toys and video games and Halloween costumes and this was my entire childhood new movie new video games new toys Star Wars Star Wars chips candy Star Wars was

every

where and I really like Star Wars, bro. I've been watching Star Wars since before the

prequels

came out. I've been into DS Fight since I was six years old. It really surprises me that people are only now angry about Star Wars. being a cash grab franchise that only cares about merchandise they seriously act like they are from disney the only reason

star

wars

is trying to make money on what planet have you been living on.

Star Wars has always been like this and when the prequel train started picking up speed, it was just time for more merchandise, it was a good time to be an impressionable little kid who loves Star Wars and back then didn't have the mental capacity to judging these movies, no one in my age group saw the lightsabers and we were on board. We didn't care. I think

every

one has that moment where they're watching the prequels after they've gotten a little older and realized, Jesus Christ, what did I like about these movies? That moment when you realize that you don't really understand the The plot of any of these movies is boring and the acting is bad and there's just no good aspect to it.

Once my generation grew up and we realized these movies were bad, there was peace on the internet for a brief time. I accepted that the Star Wars prequels were not good movies and that there was no one alive who, ironically, liked them, there was no longer hunger in the world, racism was over and we, as a species, had finally achieved world peace and then Disney started making Star Wars movies and Now all of a sudden people are saying the prequels aren't any good. What happened? I've seen so many people ironically defend these movies and then turn around and talk about other bad movies like Suicide Squad or Batman V Superman even though they all share the exact same problems with overpriced movies with bad effects and worse scripts and too many people.

He says that the prequels are redeemed because they are better than the new movies. Now, first of all, the new movies aren't even that bad. I don't love every aspect of them, but I can't call them bad movies. Honestly, I have full respect for people who hate prequels and sequels alike. I think it's totally fair, what kills me is when people say these movies are good and these ones aren't. at least the prequels had some original ideas, who say that original ideas are not enough to make a good movie and something can still be good without having original ideas.

Stranger Things does not have a single original idea and is generally seen. To be pretty good, everyone likes it. The prequels have a lot of unique ideas, yes, and they are not presented well at all in these films. If you thought this was going to be a video about me praising the prequels, then I'm sorry. You probably don't know me very well. Maybe we can be friends in another life today. I'm going to try to turn these movies down a bit because I hate them and when people disagree with me I feel uncomfortable now before I start crying.

In the film he should be fair and talk about good things. This isn't the worst movie ever made, so it has to have some positive qualities. So, the music is pretty good. Almost every aspect of this movie is something like that. Well, it has a little asterisk right above it. I want to say that the effects are good because many of them are technically very impressive for a film that came out in 1999. Jar Jar looks pretty good, but the effects are not always integrated into the film. In a compelling way, I want to say that the pod race scene is great because it's the only moment in the movie where you feel like you're not dead.

It's probably the only scene you enjoy other than the final battle and I would say the final battle is the one scene that is so great that it tricked people into liking this movie for a while after it came out. Sometimes an exciting ending can fool audiences into thinking that a movie is good and this final battle is really cool, but at the same time it's kind of hard to enjoy it when you realize you don't care about the things that happen in this movie. movie. There's also one line I like in this movie, maybe I killed a Jedi and took it from him.

I don't think so, no one can kill a Jedi. I hope it was. I like the subtle foreshadowing in that line and that's one of the only times I'll call these movies subtle, so enjoy, but the main thing is positive. This movie is definitely the music, John Williams' score is always the only aspect of these movies that is spot on. I want to believe that old Johnny saw these movies and said, "Okay, I have to try to fix them as best I can, but that's the way it is." Sometimes it's kind of unintentionally funny because visually you won't see anything that happens in these movies, but the music plays, but that's all I can say in praise.

These movies honestly fail on almost every level of filmmaking, so there we are. I'm going to watch this movie with the same framework in which we first saw a new hope. I'm going to try to watch this movie with my fully evolved movie brain. I'm going to pretend I've never seen this movie before and Right off the bat, the opening title crawl is too much. Remember what I talked about how perfect title tracking is. It is not a new hope. It is simple, effective and does not give us too much information. This is the first paragraph of The Phantom.

The threat title turmoil has engulfed the Galactic Republic taxes on trade routes to outlying star systems it is a dispute it is the first hint of the tone of the film it is boring there are no signs of life in this film at all the performances are Stiff the lines are dry and lifeless and the film is not even directed in an attractive way, everyone talks the same and it is really uncomfortable that they talk like that. This is incredible. We recommend that a commission be sent to Naboo to determine the truth. The Congress delegate. For the Trade Federation, when you start the movie, you might think that the Jedi just talk in this weird, overly wordy way because they're like warrior monks.

I accept the fact that they talk funny, but everyone talks like that, except the Jamaican and the literal one. kid and while they may sound different, the way he delivers his lines is on another level, you mean, I can go with you and your spaceship. See, George has this weird problem where his dialogue is the worst thing in his movies. I'm not even lying. in the original Star Wars, the instant classic, his actors constantly made fun of him for his dialogue and then I started reading and it seemed to me that the dialogue was quite complicated, there is a true story, Harrison Ford, who at one point placed a space pirate in the movie.

He threatened to tie George up and make him say his own lines at gunpoint, but back then he had a team to help him fix the script and make it sound like lines that real people would say Star Wars should be simple. We just saw Han Solo. talking like a normal guy and now all the characters are talking like weird Shakespearean robots and that's a word I've heard people use to describe this Shakespearean dialogue but honestly, in my opinion, that's misusing the word. I've always seen a play as Shakespearean when we talk about how the characters' actions dictate their emotions, it's less about what they say and more about how they feel.

It's not just Shakespearean because they talk weirdly, it's annoying and makes it impossible to connect with the characters and this Manor speech. it makes it so that we never really know who these characters are on a deeper level because none of these characters have any character traits, they also never talk about how they feel and all the dialogue is just to tell us what is literally happening in the story. All the dialogue scenes in this movie and think about what their purpose is in the story. Two characters explaining where they are and what they are doing.

Characters who get closer to the plan. Characters who get closer to the plan. Characters who approach the plan and meet someone. new characters making a deal and coming up with a plan characters talking about the plot and what's happening characters coming up with a plan characters coming up with a plan inappropriate flirting funny little boy characters coming up with a plan see the problem here? Very few scenes of our characters being normal people and expressing emotions in this movie, there's legitimately only one scene where Obi-wan and Qui-gon talk to each other about anything other than the immediate plot, the only time they have a heart.

Sincerity is at the end of the movie for 99 percent of the runtime, these characters have no relationship with each other and we never learn how they feel about each other, but we are expected to care when this happens. This movie also has some of the flattest acting I've ever seen, I understand this is a strange place for me, there is no chemistry between any of these actors, zero, I mean literally no chemistry, this movie doesn't she's fun to watch, she's not even fun to make fun of now, people. I've been making fun of this new Rise of Skywalker scene because of this particular line oh it's too funny it sounds like Marvel dialogue okay yeah whatever let's talk about this for a second though compare this scene chase with a chase scene from this movie.

The heroes will be devoured by a giant monster. I wonder how they feel about that. Oh, they don't really care, they really don't care. These characters just can't be bothered to give an "okay, yeah, man, I won't even worry." when they're planning the final battle they don't care once we're in we shouldn't have any problems oh yeah it won't be a problem no use me being emotionally involved the movie has low stakes low energy and doesn't really let you get involved with her on the same level as you would any other Star Wars movie, so yes, I personally prefer these cheesy, energetic performances over this one any day of the week, but hey, that's just me, anyway, let's talk. about the actual plot and I'm going to be honest with you, I've never known the plot of this movie until now, most of the time when I watch this movie it's with friends where we just quote the awkward or funny moments until we get bored. and I turn it off halfway through, but as far as the plot goes, I'm just now piecing it together after watching this movie for twenty years, that's not a good sign, but hey, maybe it's just me, maybe it's the idiot I just don't get it so I even asked you on Twitter if you knew the plot of this movie and most of you don't.

I actually expected most of you to lie or just check the wiki, but now you're pretty honest. once and I don't think this is because the plot is too complicated, I mean it is, but that's not why we don't understand it, it's because the plot is not adequately conveyed to the audience for a film where only our characters tell us. what they are going to do and then do that without diverging paths, this movie is really bad at conveying what the story is, the story is presented to us in a way that we can't understand it unless we can read the characters' minds.

In this movie, information is conveyed in a very strange and vague way. Take for example the scene where Anakin is being interviewed by the Jedi Council, they ask him some random questions and then they say: sorry, he's evil, we can't train him, they say they feel afraid and Anakin and that's why main reason why he shouldn't be trained, so you're telling me that you hope the child just isn't afraid at all. Wouldn't it make more sense to train someone to be less afraid than to simply expect them to be? They have the emotions of a Jedi once they get here they know he is strong in the force but they still tell qui-gon that he can't train him but what is the alternative just send him awaycoming home and expecting him not to take advantage of his inherent strength powers and quite unfair, like I'm going to train him anyway, you're only allowed to do that, you can do whatever you want, if you can do that then why would anyone ask for permission ?

The guy is dangerous, he's fine, but why literally just? Tell us why someone please tell me something please sir can I have some movie? Even when you look at the finer details of the movie, there are things that just don't make any sense, like why would Anakin take Anakin to a war zone? Qui-gon already has an apprentice and now he just grabbed another one and brought him to war and I can stay with you, you'll be safe, stay in the cabin, you're still here, but Rick loves us all, so why would you come down? to Naboo on separate ships is kind of a throwaway line and ends up not mattering in the long run, but from a logistical point of view it doesn't make any sense for you guys to go on the same ship, you're very lucky you park next to each other.

What does Palpatine want to achieve with this trade blockade? This is his most indirect and complicated plot and is already known to those. He has no problem killing the Jedi at first, but he will simply try to politely convince Padmé to agree. By her terms, he has no problem trying to kill her in the later films. I don't understand this man, what does he want? It always seemed strange to me that Palpatine's ultimate goal is to simply be president and rule everything it seems. Really simple goal for someone who is supposedly so wise and attuned to the force, I usually don't care if the villains' motivations are simplistic, especially in Star Wars, but this is a movie that tries to be more complex than the previous movies. and he's just not very good at it, the entire plot of these three movies revolves around Palpatine's schemes and his schemes never make any sense.

There's also something with the prequels where sometimes you can take a single line and try to analyze it and it just doesn't. It doesn't make any sense from a simple writing perspective. I'm serious, this is in each of these movies, a communications disruption can mean only one thing, invasion, no it doesn't. Are you telling me that if your communications go down, the only thing? the reason is that you are being attacked you have made a commitment to the Jedi Order a commitment that is not easily broken it is not easily broken you mean it is not easily kept the oath itself is broken very easily it is only about absolutes but obi-wan that in itself is an absolute statement George is not good at writing dialogue, it would be so funny if it weren't so sad and now I should probably mention the one thing that people say is the biggest problem with this movie, Jar Jar, honestly, all the other issues in this The movie is actually worse than Jar Jar, the lifeless acting, the dialogue, a complicated plot with a general lack of direction, these are things I hate much more than a dumb character and if we are honest while he is annoying, his role in this story actually makes more sense. that Anakin, the worst thing about Jar Jar is that you literally can't understand what he says.

I saw this movie with subtitles for the first time and only now, twenty years later, have I understood what Jar Jar has been saying. I have no idea what you just said, but damn. Yeah, man, I'm going to speak my truth, but despite this, they actually need Jar Jar for most of the movie. I really hate to admit it, but he's so integral to this stupid story that you need him here more than the other characters. However, it doesn't make any sense to bring him to Moss Eisely with Qui-gon and not Obi-Wan Kenobi, one of the main characters.

In fact, I take it back. I can't even say he's a main character in this movie. It's really baffling to me how small Obi Wan's role is in this movie. I think the only reason Qui-gon's death moves people is because Qui-gon has a lot more screen time, he's closer to being the main character and just think about how much characterization. obi-wan has in episodes two and three, in episodes two and three, you discover that he actually doesn't like flying very much, that's a nice character trait of his. I wish I had traits in this movie, the only character with traits in this movie. he's Jar Jar again, so yeah, even though Jar Jar is really awkward and a stupid addition to the movie, he's the only thing in the movie that feels real every time I watch this movie and he screams this line.

Seriously, I wake up from the coma this movie put me in. I if he wasn't in the movie I legitimately think the movie would be worse, think about it, it would just be these dry humans delivering boring dialogue, it would be so boring I don't think I could sit down Honestly, to fix this movie you would need to reformat the entire plot. Everything is broken. Most people agree that the biggest problem here is that you can remove this entire movie from the trilogy and it doesn't change anything. Many Star Wars viewing guides. In fact, I recommend that you don't watch this movie.

How sad it is that the spin-off movies are equally useless in the grand scheme of things, but those movies are fun and a little experimental, so I don't really care for them. I really hurt someone by existing this movie it really hurts my feelings by existing it really bothers me every time I watch it there is no main character the characters that are in this movie don't have any traits or personalities and if you try to divide this movie into a beginning, a middle and an end, you would have trouble figuring out where each part begins.

Nothing in this movie works at all. This is a huge disappointment and if I were an adult watching this movie, I don't think I would like Star. Wars and the worst part is that we still have two more movies left, three out of ten. I hope it's not worse than this. Star Wars episode two is basically as bad as the Phantom Menace. I tried pretty hard to figure out which one. One of these movies is worse and I'm having a hard time understanding it right now, but I think if you held a gun to my head and made me respond, I'd probably say this one was slightly better: The Phantom Menace. it's bad because it's boring and doesn't really feel like a real movie, but technically once you figure out this story it's pretty complete, then you compare it to attack of the clones, where structurally it feels more like a real movie, the characters have traits, There are some cute interactions, but nothing the characters do makes sense and the story is absolute nonsense, but for what it's worth, this movie is much more entertaining to watch because it's a mess, probably the worst plot in the entire movie. star.

Wars to the point where I could dedicate this entire review to just explaining the story and you would completely understand what I mean, so that's exactly what we're going to do so the movie starts and tells us that there are riots in the Galactic Senate during several thousand years. The solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Republic, okay, but jokes aside, this is supposed to be the main driving force of the plot. These separatists don't want to be part of the Republic, but why not, I hope you're prepared to die. that question in your mind because this movie isn't interested in telling us maybe read one of the books or something, so the rest of the crawl tells us that the Jedi are overwhelmed by the separatists, but overwhelmed by how the separatists aren't suffering .

Someone, there's no battle droid attack right now, the first thing the Jedi say in this movie is that Dooku and the Separatists aren't violent and just have different political leanings, so why are the Jedi overwhelmed? Why do we need to create? an army, what do you mean by civil unrest? Well, I hope you're prepared to die with these questions in your head because this movie has no interest in telling you why these things are happening, but whatever it is, it doesn't matter, we just need Padmé. in the city to be blown up, so in this movie Palpatine is trying to kill Padmé, but hey, it's because Padmé is here to vote against creating a military force for the Republic and I guess Palpatine really doesn't want to that's because he has his own army and wants to control it, but the assassination attempts stopped about a third of the way through the movie.

I guess it's so she and Anakin can spend more time, but then he still throws Padmé into a sand to eat her. Pokémon, so what's the plan here buddy, give me something consistent? Do you want her dead or not? Oh, don't worry brother, it's all part of Palpatine's plan. Can I just say that I hate this way of writing? Oh, let's make it bitter. The villain can predict. the future, then when something happens that contradicts the information given, we can just say oh ho, okay, he knew it was going to happen. Look, oh, he killed the Jedi and took over the galaxy, all according to plan, but if you line it up piece by piece.

It's the biggest joke of the entire series. Here's Palpatine's entire timeline. First, he supports the Trade Federation in order to control space trade. However, the Jedi shut down the Federation and a new body begins with planets that dislike the Republic at the same time. He is building a secret army, so now he has two armies, a clone army and a robot army. Oh, but Padmé is going to make things difficult, so he has to kill her, but he makes a mistake and doesn't kill her, but she's fine, he actually wants to. Anakin approaches her and falls in love but then tries to kill her anyway, right after that you're really lucky that none of these Pokémon ate her because then he can be a good guy forever and your plan wouldn't .

It doesn't work so it doesn't matter anyway, Padmé doesn't matter, she reveals both armies at the same time and has them fight each other in secret and for the next few years she orchestrates an entire war between two armies that she secretly financed so that people will vote democratically by him to be king of space so he can end the war he started with his two secret armies and then as king of space kill all the Jedi and get rid of both armies and then rule for like 20-some years and then Anakin throws him into a hole and dies.

There are so many holes in that plan that I don't even have time to break it all down. A full video would be needed. It would actually be better for the story if you told me I couldn't predict the future because this plan seems like it was made by someone who can't do it, so anyway Obi-Wan and Anakin are going to protect Padmé and I love how the first The person speaking in this scene is Jar Jar. I also love how he literally stops, looks at the camera and smiles as if to say, "That's right, I'm not going anywhere." I would also like to point out that while we now have more scenes of characters actually having heart to heart conversations, they are all horrible because they are written in the most unnatural way for the most part.

This movie has some pretty good actors and they have no way of making this horrible dialogue sound natural. I don't know why I keep dreaming about it. Dreams pass. eventually I would rather dream about Padmé, so Padmé, the woman who just suffered an assassination attempt less than a day ago, sleeps alone in her room with giant windows and the blinds open, so obviously, under these circumstances, she's basically begging to be killed and the The next scene is probably the funniest in the entire movie, so this little probe droid sends little poisonous bugs to kill Padmé, but our heroes catch it just in time and then Obi-Wan jumps in Through the window.

What is his plan? What is the end of it? here and why he was the one who jumped out the window and you can end up talking about how much he loves Padmé and how obsessed he is with her, so I would almost accept this if Anakin was the one who jumped out the window. He's supposed to be the brash, headstrong apprentice who acts without thinking, but the worst part is that Obi-Wan then gets angry at Anakin for doing the same thing. He has no right to be mad when Anakin jumps out of the car and says oh. my apprentice is so stubborn and stupid and acts without thinking brother two minutes ago you jumped out the window to grab a little robot you're lucky to be alive patience use the force think anyway they catch the killer and find out she's a Shapeshifter now, This is just screenwriting 101, but why is she a shapeshifter?

What does this really add to the plot of this story? Does he ever change shape in this movie to affect the story? No, even when they're looking for her in hers. However, this would be a great opportunity to turn her into something else to prevent them from finding her, but no, she doesn't, why did George turn her into a shapeshifter? The characters mention it in a way that shows it could be significant and i. I think she's a change, that guy should be very careful, but if you go back to this movie and pretend she's a normal person, that doesn't change anything, these are just the basic rules for writing ahistory.

This scene is funny to me because if you take it and try to figure out exactly what's happening and why it's happening, it becomes funny that someone makes everyone try to follow me really fast, which is why Palpatine needs Padmé dead, but he doesn't want to. do it himself, so he asks Count Dooku to go kill Padmé, but Count Dooku doesn't want to do it himself, so Count Dooku asks Jango Fett to go kill Padmé, but Jango Fett doesn't want to do it himself. do it himself, so he asks his shapeshifter friend to go kill Padmé, but the shapeshifter sends a robot to go kill Padmé and if you really want to be a and be even more granular the droid says I'll send these little bugs to go kill Padmé Palpatine sends a man who sends a man who sends a shapeshifter who sends a robot who sends bugs to go tell Padmé and what's even funnier is that after they chased the robot and the shapeshifter, Jango has the opportunity to go kill Padmé, but instead, he goes out of his way to assassinate the person he hired to secretly assassinate the genie.

These prequels are many originals. The ideas that these prequel movies have while suffering from flats were definitely Star Wars stories, so Obi-wan manages to track down the killer and finds him on a planet called Kamino, a planet where cloned soldiers are growing and what it really is strange for me. is that the wise Jedi Master Obi-wan goes to this planet where he literally watches the clones grow and train and discovers that Jango Fett is the man the clones are based on. Jango Fett lives in this facility and also discovers that he hired Count Dooku. Jango Fett then discovers that Count Dooku and Jango Fett are evil and yet he never at any point realizes that Dooku and the clones are connected in any way.

Obi-wan Kenobi gets all the information to find out that the bad guys paid the clone and it still doesn't matter because I guess he just forgot if Obi-Wan just remembered that Dooku and the clones are connected. He probably he could have stopped the whole war. He could have saved the galaxy. It's something so small that it would have changed the entire course of the Star Wars saga, and it's simply based on Obi-Wan forgetting a crucial point. information, so anyway that's the A plot and it's dumb, but in the meantime we have the B plot and it's just as bad because George Lucas doesn't understand romance in this movie we get to see Padmé Anakin flirt and date and this doesn't It wouldn't be a shame if it weren't written with so much pain.

Half of what they say to each other is pretty embarrassing, bro, yeah, it's all soft and smooth. Oh, now I wouldn't say these two characters don't have chemistry because they don't. I really like that, I think they could have made something work if they were better directed and had a better script. I mean, look at the scene where Anakin talks about how he just murdered a town full of people, that's how you can. Tell her it's the director's fault not the actors I killed them I killed them all Natalie can we get a reaction to this please any reaction George that's your job tell her what to do help her help you George , so that these two really dumb plots converge on Geonosis, where we can have our stupid final battle and the end of this movie has now become a dumb CGI action climax and I personally can't stand it.

The action is a little boring if it just pops up for no reason, so to end it all we get a lightsaber fight and it's probably the worst in the entire series. I don't even need to explain why I'm showing you a clip of the fight and I want you to know that I didn't alter it in any way. It's the most boring choreography I've ever seen, the only time it's visually impressive is when Yoda enters battle and while it's impressive that Dooku's double is fighting literally nothing and it somehow makes it look convincing, that doesn't change.

This is by far what I consider the biggest problem with these films. This problem is at the core of what I hate about the prequels. And that problem is Yoda. It absolutely blows my mind that people don't have a bigger problem with Yoda in this trilogy because if you ask me this is blatant character assassination seeing Yoda with a lightsaber fills me with so much dread and I honestly can't explain it remember when I praised the scene from Empire where he has this beautiful speech about strength, well, all of that understanding and wisdom has disappeared in these movies.

Yoda never makes a single good decision in these movies and it's because he always says oh, the dark side is clouding my judgment. Come on, I need real plot elements because this doesn't work. You should never see Yoda leading troops of soldiers. You should never hear Yoda say these words. He focuses your fire. Seeing Yoda doing ninja flips is so disturbing to me and maybe that's why I like that Luke dies without hitting anyone with a lightsaber. I have my problems. with the last Jedi, but that's how a Jedi should operate in my mind. I love that once Luke arrives on the scene, no one else dies for the rest of the movie except him.

A Jedi should work harder to find the solution without resorting to violence. Episode three when obi-wan begs yoda and says please yoda don't make me kill. Anakin Yoda says: Sorry, brother, you gotta do what you gotta do in these movies. Yoda's number one solution is to kill the bad guys, he never does at any time. try to negotiate, always shoot with guns, this is not Yoda, this is not how Jedi are supposed to work, there is no nuance or subtlety, these movies just tell you clearly what is going to happen and then those events happen, there's nothing to do.

I surprise you and there is nothing to enjoy along the way, you will see classic characters acting stupidly out of character, but no, remember, these are the movies that are better than the new ones, remember guys, these movies understand Star Wars, the last Jedi No. a real Star Wars movie but this gets to be a real Star Wars movie and guess what guys we still have one more left 3 out of 10 I hate that you all made me do this this is it guys the last one prequel. and this is the one people say is the good one and I admit it's not as bad as the other two but it's still not good to see the attack of the clones, it really excites me guys but I'll be honest when I get it.

I was ready to get started on this movie, but it's not as bad as I remember. However, this movie still has the same problems as the previous two, except this time you don't feel like you're in a coma while you're in it. watching it, this is the movie that people make the most memes on and I think these memes have convinced everyone that this movie is better than it is because if we have all these funny memories of it, then it can't be that bad. The movie reminds me a little of another movie I've talked about with a rabid fan base.

I'm just a fool, new loot, now this movie is set during the clone

wars

. This title crawl explains that Khorasan was attacked and Palpatine was kidnapped. screen what man now yeah you're supposed to watch the Clone Wars cartoon to see those things happening and it's really cool on that show but come on do it if I'm showing someone these movies for the first time this is the dumbest. Honestly this incredibly significant event just isn't shown at all, that would have been a really cool introduction to the movie, yes it would have made the movie really long but I don't know if any of this other nonsense can be trimmed, do you have any meaning?

Not to the Kashyyyk scenes, they just wanted to show us Chewbacca and why Chewbacca looks like that is it just me or does he look weird in this movie, what's wrong with your face? Oh, also the title tells us that there are heroes on both sides. Evil is everywhere. What does that mean? There are no heroes on the evil side. George, you need to correct your work. Anyway, this movie starts off with something unique to Star Wars. A long shot right off the bat shows us that this film. In fact, I'm trying now, some people would say that a long take doesn't count if it's a CGI long take, but that's not entirely true.

It actually takes a lot of work for a computer to process that much at once without cutting the guys off. Over at the runner's team, they actually have a really good video that explains this better than my dummy. Basically, artists have to go in and then slowly build pieces like individual simulations, settings or environments and then render them all. one by one, they just put it all together layer by layer, so yeah, I think this is a really cool opening, it's just ruined by the fact that we need to see Anakin fight these gimmicky, dumb robots and that's kind of problem that this whole movie has.

You may almost enjoy a scene, but that doesn't stop the scenes in this movie from lasting too long. They really outstay their welcome. Plus, we now have Anakin doing something he didn't do in the last movie. Events Seen in Episode Two Anakin is really sinister, but he feels like George is like, oh, I made him too evil. I have to remind people that he's supposed to be a good guy and now in this movie he feels like a completely different character than he was. the last one, but these jarring character changes aren't justified within this narrative, we're supposed to see him killing Dooku as a bad thing, but based on everything we've seen in the series so far, there's nothing wrong with him kill Dooku, no one said obi- Wan was supposed to forgive Darth Maul, our heroes have never forgiven any of the enemies they've been mindlessly taking down.

I just like to think that everyone told Anakin that bad guys have to be judged even though they themselves don't follow that rule again if you stop to think about the movie, it makes a lot less sense. This is the movie where Anakin is supposed to fall to the dark side, but his fall isn't very compelling from a narrative perspective. It doesn't make sense for him to change his mind so quickly based on No Information, but we'll talk more about that when we get to the actual change in morality anyway. Overall, this initial encounter isn't that bad.

There's even some cute banter between Obi-Wan and Anakin, but this is really it. It's distracting to me because this is the first time in all the prequels where you feel like the story you're being told is actually worth telling. This is the one sequence in all of the movies that is almost always enjoyable if I could rewrite the prequels that we would have set during this movie if we put the romantic subplot and the Jedi Sith conflict in the context of the war and made things much more exciting. I mean, this shit is called Star Wars and episodes 1 and 2 don't even take place. during a war, yeah, I don't have many bad things to say about the beginning of this movie, except that it kills the pacing a lot.

The first quarter of this movie is quite exciting, but then the movie gets really boring. The worst thing about this movie is that most of it relies on our characters standing in these cold, lifeless CG environments spewing bad dialogue. They're so beautiful. It's just because I'm so in No, no, it's because I'm so in love with you. I don't want to watch these movies anymore, guys, I want it to be in the middle of this movie. I make a big mistake in my mind. Split Obi-Wan and Anakin. In this opening scene we can enjoy our main heroes being together.

For the first time in any of these movies, we really enjoy seeing the main characters and then George just splits them up and they don't go on their own adventures and General Grievous is a very strange character to me because I know he just exists like that. that we get to have a cool fight with obi-wan in the middle of the movie, the villains in these prequels are so bad that Darth Maul is great, but he gets kicked out of the movies immediately and doesn't even like having lines, Count Dooku. is probably the worst Star Wars character of all time, his existence is really baffling to me and he never becomes a real character, the most important thing is that he never becomes a real threat and then we have General Grievous who appears from nothing just so Obi can fight. something in the middle of the movie and we can sell some toys or something and then Palpatine is our main villain but he barely gets any screen time until this movie, if you ask me we should have had Palpatine and Darth Maul in the narrative of the movies. three movies.

Lee, it doesn't change much in the story and would have cemented Maul as a true menacing force if Darth Maul and Obi-wan had actually had this rivalry throughout the movies, which would be the best one he's ever had. I probably would care. a little more, but I'm complaining too much anyway. I should probably talk more about this movie specifically. It is very difficult to reiterate the same problems that I have already talked about at length in this very video. I can only say that many times. the writing is bad because it is and it is bad in all of these movies.

I've already proven that it's no fun to sit back and watch this movie, catch up and try to prove to us that Anakin isn'ttotally evil and showing that saying that he and Palpatine are friends, this leads to this movie having two modes, too rushed or too slow. I feel like I could take so many scenes from this movie and cut them completely or cut them out, the whole painful fight is so stupid and it's just in the movie to prevent our boredom. Yoda in Kashyyyk is just here to give us more fan service and beyond that, we just have more characters talking about politics.

What was it about politics that had George so horny? I don't think so. I'll get it sometime and George will be the number one to tell you that Star Wars is for kids, come on man. George Lucas, swear to me on your life that you wrote these scenes with children in mind. Will you table your motion to allow a commission to explore the validity of their accusations, so anyway this movie only starts to be interesting again once they find out that Palpatine is a Sith Lord, a Sith Lord, but even with this knowledge, the movie still has a distinct lack of energy, we must act quickly if the Jedi Order is to survive, guys, slow down my heartbeat.

I actually like slower scenes like this one, where Anakin realizes that he's going to risk everything and interfere with Palpatine's arrest. It's just him who, without saying a word, goes through this problem and for once, it's the movie that shows subtlety, the only thing I've been longing for all this time, but honestly, it's too little too late, we're in the middle of the last movie and we finally have a scene where our main protagonist shows his internal conflict in a realistic and believable way. Keep in mind that this internal conflict is the only reason these prequels exist and now, with very little believable internal conflict, we have Anakin just deciding on a whim that he is going to murder everyone he knows and loves, and this is the main problem with this movie.

The whole purpose of this movie is to show his turn to the dark side, but that should have been the goal of all of these movies, not just this one. His conflict does not exist at all in Episode One and is not connected to the Episode's plot. two, if you remove his conflict from that story it doesn't change anything so it makes this movie feel rushed, it leads to a turn to the dark side which isn't satisfying to watch because this is the first real movie where Lo I've seen it happen and now at the end of the movie we have the last of the fools.

The final battle in this movie is pretty important for these characters, but the fight between Obi-Wan and Anakin is too long and shouldn't even have been done. to explain why I don't like this fight, this is a fight between two characters that I don't want to see in a fight scene but honestly I'd probably hate it less if it didn't end in a ridiculous way where Yoda doesn't even lose the Hadouken to each other and he just gets knocked down and then says it's over. I haven't had time to go into exile. What didn't you even try?

Why is this movie so obsessed? by simply returning each element to where we expect it to be so that the status quo of the original trilogy is intact if Yoda tries to win but then fails and says, "Okay, well, Obi-wan, I'll keep trying to have better luck next time." . I wouldn't even question it. I wouldn't have left the cinema. Hey, didn't he go into exile? There are still 19 years of story development between these two films. I wouldn't mind if you left some threads open, you should. I wouldn't have given up after this attempt, if they both had gone to kill Palpatine after this they probably would have won.

That makes the conclusion really weak and unsatisfying. It's a conclusion that makes our heroes seem decidedly unheroic because they just give up. Overall, I think it's hard to say anything else about this movie that I haven't covered in the other reviews because I don't think it's fair to judge these three movies individually, you have to look at them as a unified picture because that's what George intended, so Although this movie is not the worst of all, I still can't forgive it too much, it still has bad pacing, a stupid although understandable story and more in the style of George Lucas, the bad dialogues don't help.

I give you 5 out of 10 an improvement, but not enough of an improvement, so that was the most difficult moment in all of Star Wars, the worst is over and a long time ago, before the new movies came out, I decided that we would never do it. to see a Star Wars movie as good as a new hope and similarly we would never see a Star Wars movie as bad as episode 1 and for a while I thought I was right, I thought that if anything these new movies from Disney would be safe and harmless and I have never been more wrong in my entire life.

So good tonight. Polyfill a tree and it feels good. Oh, trying to get things done. I'm going to see your princess. Everything is fine, oh, no work, is the answer and a photo in the pilot's suit, no. Carbonite out of me