Conan Takes Jordan Schlansky To Couples Counseling - CONAN on TBS

Lauren, thanks for watching and Jordan, thanks for accepting this. I know this is a bit shocking. Jordan is engaged, what's your future Emma's name? Emma, ​​are you marrying a woman, yes, Emma, ​​Jordan, I would love to. to find out a little more about Emma and how you met her. I met Emma at a CVS pharmacy. I don't remember what she was buying. Was she a male grooming utensil? By chance, no, the product. Use is not sold at CVS What product is that? You use the Nelco Bodygroom inco Body Groom yes, you use it every day no and what do you do?

What areas do you tend to with the neural body? You can talk openly here, of course. I hope this is a safe space for both of us. Yes, you can trim hair almost anywhere on your body, it reaches all the nooks and crannies without pain. In fact, the new model, the BG 2038, has the advantage of a lithium-ion battery. What you are saying is all true, you are not making this up, what is the name of BG 2038? Why do you know your body model number? It replaces the 2020 which unfortunately had a nickel metal hydride battery. It would take 8 hours to charge it, it was very important that you did not overcharge it, otherwise it would decrease the battery life.

I wonder if maybe you could tell me how you met Emma. That's all I really want to know. Well, we met. We entered CVS. Don't know. I don't want to judge and I know this is not a space to judge, it's not a space to judge, but this is a shitty story about how they met. I think he's shit and that without judging sounds like you're disappointed in him. I almost want to smash his face so you're mad, yeah I want to keep punching his face until it falls apart like a mask and then you see the circuitry underneath and it's revealed that he's a robot.

Conan expressed concern that you. You're not super emotional and you seem to have a bit of a wall I'm a deeply emotional man a deeply emotional man doesn't say I'm a deeply emotional man I have deep feelings and thoughts that I can be moved by Tears from warm sunlight on my face and you you share this wait. The warm sunlight on your face makes you cry, that's just the eye irritated by the sun, that's emotion. I think what makes you cry when you show up at CVS for the new hairdresser. and the shelf is empty maybe we could try to do a little role play maybe I could play Emma for maybe Emma and we'll talk and see where it goes let's try I don't She doesn't like air conditioning Emma likes air conditioning We often have disagreements about air conditioning.

We don't have air conditioning? It's awful. It's over. It's 110° in the valley. Why can't we have air conditioning? So Conan as Emma what I What I want you to do now is try to identify the feeling of heat, very hot, you just stare at me, you are a monster monster, I want air conditioning and you won't let me have air conditioning and you just stare at me like that , no If you don't say anything, then you walk into that closet and I hear buttons being pressed and you speaking with an alien voice. Who are you talking to?

You don't look human to me, why can't I have air conditioning? Oh, I just want you to stare at me. To me, that's something and when your partner breaks down crying, the first thing you do is you don't look at them like you just fell out of the book American Psycho, you walk up to them and you're like, you should have put your arms around me and comforted me that's it. to which we women respond to comfort at that moment you are cold, distant and lazy like this at work this is how you behave at work this is the reason why no one at work wants to be with you you are always alone this is how Do you treat Conan?

Do you treat Conan like this with this kind of cold detachment? You should not? He's brilliant, he has a brilliant comedic mind and I find him very attractive and all the women love him too. Look, give me so sexy, why do you always do it? it smells like perfume you're a man it's not okay Jordan it's not okay unfortunately I think in today's society at least in western society we have learned to cover up our natural smell look at me I'm here and I love you in East Africa you'll notice that because no deodorant used, Jordan, you're not listening, thank you, Jordan, I knew you, you laugh, um, I think you should be Emma for a second and I'll be Jordan and show you, try this.

I'll show you what it's like, what do you usually do in the kitchen? Cook well, and you make the pasta yourself. Sometimes I use double zero flour five extra large eggs 200 a double zero flour is the same flour as all purpose flour, but ground all purpose flour. which is a corsair terrain with pastel flow. Sorry, Kan, what did you ask him? What are you doing in the kitchen? Let's take it from the top and that's it. I would like to turn on the air conditioning. Why am I hot? It is wet. You must experience the weather as it should be experienced.

There is no reason for you to have a different temperature. Human comfort. Human. What is this human? Oh yes, humans. I mean, are we humans? We support feminine unity. Suspicious of me. proceed as planned The invasion begins tomorrow thank you Lord, more nonsense Am I invited to this wedding? We haven't made plans yet, miss boss, I want my coning at the wedding. He is such an amazing man, he is a God, all women think so please. TR I can have him there what makes me happy is making you happy com when you care about someone what gives you joy is giving them joy when I worry about someone when I worry about someone I say I say I when I worry about someone oh he said I move on What gives me pleasure is that it's true that I give you supplications I love you I love you I thought we made a breakthrough there that was F you know what was fantastic group hug what do we do in the end? from a session it's usually great one of you does smell yes yes this is really sweet just put the product on his forehead stop asking me yes Jordan is a real person