Bill Burr Full Interview - CONAN on TBS

May 30, 2021

just all these people were sitting there acting like they weren't like they were all in your head if you really listen to your inner monologue i thought i was stuck in traffic i actually had the thought uncontrolled selfish moment i wish covid would kill more people so being able to go to the comedy store faster, jeez, I thought I know it's the wrong thought, right, but you're admitting that you had, that I wanted to kill and kill again, but I don't, I don't do it either, that's the difference between being on the outside, so you think you know, a friend of mine told me that he saw this documentary about Sam's son and he said, man, you have to see it, he didn't kill all those people that he had helped and I I said, friend, I.

I'm not watching this documentary, he says, no, they showed it, I went, they did it, he goes, yes, yes, they showed it. I'm going, how did they test it? They're going well, they came in, they asked David Berkowitz, they asked him, they went, did you kill this guy? like you killed this guy he's like you killed this guy he says no he said no I'm going oh you mean the guy who was talking to a dog that guy that guy said that's your proof I don't know not all of this That's why I like this sweater, yes, because it lets people know that I'm a grouch.

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bill burr full interview conan on tbs...

I'm really heading. I'm going to do the opposite of what I'm supposed to do now. I'm supposed to be doing hgh. Get that Hulk face going, he gets some hair plugs, yeah, and what else is it? What's the latest? What's the trifecta of that? Oh, the Botox, oh yes, you have to get Botox, you have to go to Botox, you have to do your hair. you go online and then you do hgh and then your organs grow so you still look a little fat but you go the other way this is much cheaper you are wearing a sweater not because those people need a partner right they need the side kick the movie that It looks like this, okay, so I'm going to fill that gap, but you're, you're on the Mandalorian, that's very important to you, to anyone who was a big, you're on what's the only show. that everyone saw during kovid.

I have to ask you about this because you used to make fun of Star Wars. You would go out of your way to make fun of Star Wars. Yes you did, no no I only did it when it came out. and I saw a long line of people who seemed to want to have fun and I did my comedy job, making fun of them and trying to make them feel stupid. I do it all the time, that's a comedian's job, so it had nothing to do with Star Wars, he made fun of Steve Jobs when he died and all the nerds who loved his little, big, little, big, little, that he did on computers, yeah, I made fun of that, yeah, so what you do is when you see people. having fun or filled with any kind of joy, anticipation of a wonderful day, what do you like to do, would you like to take that off, I enter my x-win fighter to enter your world and I say my world, I don't look It seemed like you took it a little staff.

I didn't like the original lost in space. You know, that was my thing. Oh, I loved it. I just couldn't. He couldn't maintain his composure. No, who knew, like anything. It was happening but I loved it when it wasn't happening he could sit in the calm of being lost in space with the spaceship doing the spaceship's job yes it worked they went from planet to planet but they were lost but I talking about a island in space in the 1960s lost in space, they had this ridiculous character, Dr. Smith, who called bubble-headed goofball and yelled at the robot all the time and in every episode he took the kids and treated to sell them to them. aliens so they could be taken to an intergalactic zoo, the parents would thwart him at the last second, literally try to take his children away from him, and his punishment in the end would be no blueberry pie for you, Dr.

Smith, and he would go. He tried to kill your children, he was abusive, he didn't do it, he tried to leave it behind, yeah, yeah, horrible guy. No one will care about this part. Look at it. 60 is lost in space. It is absolutely fascinating. It is an abusive relationship. lonely, he didn't have a partner out there, no, his partner was a robot, maybe he felt that if he got rid of some of the things these people loved, he would have a chance at gratil, that's a very good reading. I'm just saying that he thinks he has compassion for Dr.

Smith but not anyone else, yeah Star Wars, you Dr. Smith, child killer, maybe you should think about it from now on, yeah, it's just that You know you're all over the map, you're all over the map. You know, I don't think it is, I think I'm right, but that's just congratulations, that's how human beings are, everything I say makes sense to me, right? I mean, if you could, if you could hear the clapping between my ears right now yeah now listen I don't know I'm an idiot I know I'm an idiot uh yeah and I should have read a lot more in life and I didn't there's still time now traveling traveling is a big part of your life it is filled with laughter, when are you going to come back?

Is it starting to open now? Are you doing some indoor shows soon? Yes, actually, the comedy store is open now with limited capacity and I have to tell you later. A year doing outdoor shows and dealing with everything from mosquitoes to helicopters, doing shows near highways and things like that to be inside and there are no distractions. I went on stage, I felt like I was on steroids, so it was so easy. I got back the hell muscles I used to have when you started out as a comedian and you basically stand up wherever they let you, like I did a long time ago.

This friend of mine, Rick Delia, and I did a show at the fisherman's party on the north end in boston and we were so excited that nick's comedy stop called us like one of the main clubs and we were like oh my god we're in , we're inside and it was like an afternoon concert, he was standing on the street afterwards like there was a band playing and all these Italian women hanging out of the windows like I felt like I was in the Pope of Greenwich Village or something like that and we had to continue after that and absolutely bomb like that, it's like the first eight years of your career it's like every third show is so bad so after you make it and start selling tickets you actually get worse , you're not that good because people instead of having to get them, they're there, they're like yours to lose, yeah, and I kind of built those things up again, so I don't know how long it's going to last, but I feel like it's going to be an ex.

First of all, as a rebirth, I mean, it could be. I know it's not in our nature to be optimistic, but I still think that people have been so many artists who have been frozen for so long, yeah, there's all this pent up frustration. anger and it will all come out in the arts in a great way yeah I hope it's a positive thing I don't know I just wish they would get rid of CNN and Fox News and the capacity. leave a comment on the internet and I think if they did that everyone would relax a little more and it might be more like uh you know you're on this side I'm on that side and kind of give it to each other and then enjoy each other's points. more than uh, you know all the capital letters that people write and yeah, um, because I'm all over the map, although I get like during uh, I understand I'm a Trumpster, I understand. that I'm a socialist I mean it's literally all over the map but you make both sides angry I guess that's what I do I never saw it that way yeah it's a beautiful thing okay I guess no one's happy when you speak. that's going to be my wife's new ringtone, that's going to be your new ringtone, okay, you can see Bill in theaters across the country this summer and fall big, sorry, you can see Bill, you can see to Bill in theaters nationwide this summer. and fall into

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the tour when later I have a degenerative disease they will say that was then when they knew that I mispronounced that right you are worried that it is already coming I do it too yes every time I mispronounce something I think oh that's when this starts It's now I was watching movies and like a week later I can't remember what happened it's great because I can watch them again I always wanted a place that would do an operation that would destroy the part of my brain that has seen the godfather one and two so I can see it again of them for the first time yes that would be great, come again no, you seemed horrified, which is appropriate, can you imagine if he had a big scar here and he had a fever all the time and you said what happened.

I was. I had a part of my brain that I saw godfather one and two destroyed, but it's also attached to my speech center. Well, no, I would do it when my brain did it. It was like, well, there are drugs you can take that will destroy that part of your brain and everything will be new again, but I don't know if you even understand the context. I've been watching a lot of uh and listening to a lot. of movies, 70s music and 70s movies just because that was when I was a kid and I feel like that was before everything that happened to me happened to me and then I go back there, not like that was the best moment.

I came, I came listening to the Dirty Harry soundtrack, yeah, it's crazy, you feel like you're going to solve a case, there's something and then there's a strange woman's voice that sounds like something strange and drugged, I know exactly, I know . I know that soundtrack well, yeah, yeah, so, by the way, one of the funniest things I've done, you know, in the last few years was you called me when you were playing on the forum and yeah, you said, come on. . I have a drum set downstairs and I'm with some musicians and you, before I do my show at the forum, we can have fun in this amazing space, so I came, you said bring your guitar and we had a great time. a great drummer he was very funny oh yeah thank you that was great he was a very funny comedian but I, yeah we had Dean del Rey, Michael Devon, I'm trying to remember the people we had, a mix of comedians, yes, failed musicians, comedians, yes. and like really, uh, guys like Michael play, uh, with everyone playing like White Snake and all that before all this crap, he could play everything, yeah, it was cool, yeah, yeah, so there's a clip I wish power if I could find it on one of my phones we did it uh van halen isn't talking about love and there was a guy that had like the van halen tribute guitar and he, you know, he was crushing the solo that you put down would you play van morrison ?

It was a great moment. I think I played with Van Morrison, yeah, we ended up playing for almost three hours and I had a great time and then when I got up I had no energy left and I was like, oh my god, did I screw this up? to do this, yeah, now I have to do the show, but luckily the fear of ruining it becomes like adrenaline, yeah, and I was able to go out there, um and uh, yeah, I forget what that sounds like, even having a crowd, so sure . I'll get back to that, yeah, hope