Adult Talk W/ Craig Ferguson

America is watching tonight just go away oh no you fight to be fair that's true know it well. depends if you have Jeff a husband or a boyfriend or something uh no hmm no, no one loves getting together oh I don't think that's true, I think that's enough, I think maybe you're too picky, that's what good. um no, I think that happens with recent guys I've dated. I think when you see their behavior you realize I'm not that picky because they turn into idiots and you're like, oh, I guess I like idiots, yeah. What I find is that they're amazing, first date, second date and by the third day it was like they're just not nice or cool and a lot of them want me to like quit working, which they would actually like on the third date. what they wantYou shouldn't work the first day with this one.

This guy went on a date not long ago. He loved me. He told me the first day that he is ready to have children. Now there is a bit of a need. Yes, yes, and my uterus just read. It's the uterus, not you to you, It's not my job, it's not my joke, I only know my joke, okay, on The Simpsons it's not much, but it may not be your joke, but it's something that seems like a very powerful statement. for you. a little bit, I mean a little bit, so he wants to have babies on the first day, maybe not, he's ready to be in a relationship and all that right away, and I think new things, like when you go out, sometimes us guys think that just because you're the girl and just because I go on a date with you or kiss you or have sex with you, suddenly I want to be with you forever because I just painted inside, guys think that because they think, oh you.

You're the girl and I'm the boy and the thing is sometimes you're the girl and I'm the boy that's how it is sometimes like I don't really want it sometimes I just need you to do it sometimes you just want it done shut up how to stop

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ing so much be pretty I love you I think what happens is that certain men leave but what the hell I behave here well what they end up doing is trying to force me I feel bad about myself and I said like you know, I try to put you down and then at the end they say oh, I need you to make me feel better and I just say, oh, not playing that game, getting together, boys clubs, in complication, we don't.

I say that boys are more daring, they are more complicated, I'm sorry, I like boys, boys are more manipulative than people think and and I think all boys can't wait to have a girlfriend because they really love having the girl who is there and had the my best friend and the boys are more needy and they turn around, they start playing these games and they are like I'm not the one who throws my sticks and leaves. I'm like I don't play. play, you are the most amazing girl in the world. Wow, you shouldn't feel bad about yourself at all, oh oh, I don't do it just at night when I'm alone, yeah, I know I get that feeling too, so listen. very scary like this no, you know, yeah, you think that's scary, it's really cool, yeah, I can handle it, oh, I think you know, that's it, yeah, yeah, what happens in the show?

Do you go crazy in an asylum and now don't go crazy, but a lot of things have been done to me, horrible things, like fifty shades of Grey, what didn't happen from that, I don't know, I can, you know, I read a little , I must say, quite well, I know the right thing. Like, come on, this is made with a kid with a crayon, but and then, but and then, you know some of the ideas. I thought, oh wow, give it a show, yeah, little S&M II, yeah, but low, low grade, you know, no, you know nothing.

Don't pack in the hard stuff, no, not the hard stuff that really matters, yeah, yeah, well, do you have any sexual perversions? You're crazy? It's a profession. Do you have something to cure your sexual appetites? You like dressing up as B or something. but you have sex, you don't like bees, I know everyone loved me, I'm really afraid of bees, yeah, I've never been stung, but this sure is really scary and your middle name is a banana comedy, yeah, you're not very evil actually. life you are a little bit I am I think what you do is very sexy I don't know why I feel that if Betty can do this I can do this too no Robin you wanted to do it you already know everyone no no Robert Robin also happy she wouldn't do that she Pat is that she said gee willikers yeah yeah she would be like and Betty Sarah did it like uh so uh yeah like if you like me actually I won't if you want I've ever done it don't take pictures of yourself, take it and put it on the internet, of course, but you probably have a fancy phone, right?

Thanks, I have the iPhone, yeah, okay, I think it's one of the many products available, so that's kind of how you know it. I was here, so you have an iPhone, right? Do you take pictures of yourself and send them to people like me? I haven't sent them to you yet, but yes, I will. It's a selfie, that's what they do. They call me, yeah, that makes me uncomfortable, yeah, which makes me feel uncomfortable taking selfies, I think it's weird, oh no, you should accept the selfie, it's kind of weird, you know, hashtag selfie, it makes me feel a little uncomfortable , that's on Tweety, yes, that's what people do. on Instagram, they, they, they're like selfies on Tuesday and I'm like you, just narcissistic on Wednesday, yeah, again, I mean your gentleman friend, no, I don't have a gentleman friend right now, not right now , there's a person that I find interesting but I don't really, I mean, send myself, yeah, I could do that, yeah, well, I'm telling you because I don't have it, you know, I'm thinking about Betty White being, you know, the golden girl, Sally. or Rose whatever her character's name was and you know there's Bea Arthur, who was Dorothy?

And I feel like I'm too Dorothy II and not enough Blanche II, oh man, I need to try to find some way in my life to get a date, so I have to try to let a little Blanche into the world, which I don't know, I don't know how to do it, oh yeah, you know, you're doing it right now, you're doing it right now, oh dear, yeah. Sitting there in your dress and your things and touching my hand my Nina, my God, you're therapy, okay, so let's

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about this gentleman that you like, that you're interested in, and your inability to let him know, yeah, come on.

Look, what are you afraid of? Fear of rejection, yes, let's go with it, I'm afraid of rejection, but you're an actress, you've dealt with that many times in your life and that's okay, no, it's true, it's something nice to mention. that's how it's like it's like baseball it's like you swing and you get in okay, it's not a problem, so why can't you apply that to your personal life? I don't know well, can you see, how well? You let the gentleman know that you like him in some way that allows you to retain some dignity or allows him to be okay so this is what you do: you say something like hey, I have something to do at some point in the future wants to come with me is It's that simple absolutely what am I doing wrong then because I did it and no one really takes the bait no one doesn't ask me out I don't know why I don't do it I don't I get asked a lot that maybe it's because I knew that face, no, no, I think you have a strange perspective on this.

Do you know the actors alone? I think it's because I don't leave the house much. I think I'm a bit of a shut-in, yeah, no, that doesn't work, I don't go to a bar, I don't go to a you know, and you meet a lot of people at work and a lot of them you don't like. to get out, tell me, yeah, this is where I think we are. The problem is that I think you've set the standards a little high, okay, and lower the standards, Lou, a little, but keep them high for later you could lower the standards for a date but keep them high for a storytelling marriage, so that you say "okay, I'll go to an event with them, but I won't send them a selfie or maybe send them a selfie but good morning what's the problem why don't you like it good morning but wait it's the morning so you slept with them yes maybe that's the problem I'm too easy intense applauded the idea where you go when your past you go to the Luxembourg Garden Yes, yes, I like going to the Garden and I like going to the parks, to the museums I love the Museum.

Rodin. It's beautiful. Do you really like Rodin, the thinker with that big thing that does that yes I love the big thing that does that I forgot how much I liked you so I'm the one that's not yes the quote I'm an actor for Well, you know, you'd never meet many people in therapy, yeah, they should be. I agree. I could not agree more with you. I'm a big fan of the Jungian Freudian oli of the above. Yin. What about dream therapy? Have you ever dreamed? Well, I've always done it. I've heard that and I've been told I've been told that you're everyone in your dreams that's what I heard that you're everyone in your dreams yeah and that's a little confusing, especially like something really exciting about a dream Oh, what about that? that torrid moment?

No, this is not going to work for therapy at all. It's like Jay Leno is a fly. I'll be back in eight months. I can never get rid of it. Kenya