Zelda II: The Adventure of Link (NES) - Angry Video Game Nerd (AVGN)

♫It'll take you back in time!♫ ♫To play those shitty

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s that suck!♫ ♫I'd rather have...♫ ♫A buffalo...♫ ♫take diarrhea and throw it in your eeaaarrr♫ ♫I'd rather eat it. ..♫ ♫The rotten asshole....♫ ♫Of a skunk killed on the road♫ ♫Then wash it down with beer!!!♫ ♫He's the angriest player you've ever heard. .♫ ♫He is the Angry Nintendo Nerd..♫ ♫He is the Angry Atari, Sega Nerd....♫ ♫He is the Angry,♫ ♫Video

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..♫ ♫Neeeeerrrrrrdd!!!!♫ So many bad games to talk about shit about... One of them that I get a lot of requests for is: Zelda II The Adventure of LINK Really?

Is that a bad game? I thought it was pretty good! I mean LOOK AT IT, it's GOLD! But it's kind of a mixed opinion. Some people loved it and some people hated it. With the first Zelda, I think everyone agrees: it is a masterpiece. I'm sure maybe there's something weird about it. I don't know why one of the mazes is shaped like a swastika... Or why the enemy names are so random? What do you call that? The head of a rabbit? Bad, a voice from Poland? What's that? A mummy? A Gibdo What is that? A ghost?

Ghini What is that? Well, it's something like "Like... Like..." (Ping Pong Ping Pong) WHAT? It's called Like Like Like?! Yeah, I'm not making this up. This all comes straight from the manual. What is that called? A snake? Wrong, it's called "Rope." Yes, really. If you can't tell the difference between a snake and a rope, YOU'RE in trouble... What is that? A bat? No, it's "Keese." What do you call the keys then? BATS? What's that? A gentleman? A Darknut Well, then what is that? uhh... I uhh.. Councilman Geiger? Oh, a stone... What is that? A spider? A "Tektite" Now what the hell is a Tektite?!

Is that even a real word? Let me look it up... Yes, it's Tektite... Yes, ooorr a spider... Well damn! Let's move on to Zelda II It's been a while since I played this. Alright? Is it bad? Let's dig in and see how well it holds up today... Well, the aerial world kind of sucks. Everything looks like a block, Link is so tiny and looks like a little gnarled green turd. But also, he manages to be. bigger than houses. How do you explain that when he enters the city, he shrinks in size? Well, again, how is it possible for Link to carry so many items with him?

It's not important, it's a fantasy world where nothing makes sense. The most common generic criticism I heard is that the game is side-scrolling. For the most part. And none of the other Zelda games were like that... Well, think back to when the first one came out. There were only TWO Zelda games. One was an aerial view and the other was side-scrolling, mostly. So there is no real standard yet. ..The annoying thing is that you can't fight anything in the aerial view. These generic enemies appeared out of nowhere, and if they touch you, they'll take you to a short battle screen.

This is a good opportunity to rack up experience points, but most of the time, you're just trying to get from one place to another, and you have to keep stopping to fight these bastards. The enemies you fight and the layout depends on where you got caught. Whether you got caught in the grass field or in the middle of the forest, it's always different. You might be invaded by enemies, or you might find it so easy it doesn't make any sense... Like here... All I have to do is dodge these hairy butts and leave. Ages quickly. But... if you think about it, it's not as bad as Final Fantasy VI, which is "III" on the Super Nintendo.

Here, you can't even see what hits you. That's about as random as it gets. But hey, that was a great game. I know a lot of RPGs like that... but I guess that's not what most players expected from the Zelda game. There is no Ganon either. Or not at least until you die. Well this is the only direct sequel to the original game, Zelda is sleeping and Ganon is being killed. Turned into red ash. Now the other villains are supposedly trying to resurrect him using Link's blood. Similar to the hammered Dracula movies where they always mix someone's blood with Dracula's ashes.

So it's a little disappointing that the only time you see Ganon... is when the game ends. Not to mention, what does that look like? Could he be holding a sword in a more suggestive position? The goal of the game is to go to cities, learn magic spells, visit palaces. In each palace, you will find a new item and defeat a boss. I heard a rumor that if you defeat the boss before getting the item, the palace will turn into rock and you won't be able to get the item. But as far as I'm concerned that's not true at all.

The palace turns into rock after completing everything. One thing I can say is that the game is very difficult... I think we can all agree with that. That doesn't mean the game is bad. Challenge is a good thing. But the challenge must be given to the player in increments. That is, a game should gradually become more difficult as it progresses. And that's what Zelda II dropped. (Ganon troll laugh) The first two levels are pretty easy. But then it hits you up the mountain of death. HOLY SHIT! It is the most difficult part of the game and there is no need to screw around.

You have to get over it from the start...these red lizard guys were on SUPER steroids. Even if you manage to jump on them, they throw their axe! UGHNN!! SHIT! What the hell am I going?! URGH! Damn! Should they have put this part at the end of the game? I mean, what could be more dangerous than DEATH MOUNTAIN? They have it all mixed up! That's not to say the later stages aren't difficult. But by then, you gain more health, your sword is stronger, and you have all kinds of useful magic spells to overcome. But here you're like a 4-year-old trying to fight Hulk Hogan.

So before you can even try to take on Death Mountain. You gotta go... mess around, fight random enemies, get EXP points, and power up all your shit. You have to get the "P bags". What are P bags? Urine bags? That's how it is! Link collects bags of urine. And either one will be on. You're lucky if you make it through Death Mountain. And the fun doesn't end there. You take the hammer, break the blocks (rocks) and look for the secret tomb that leads to level 3. Only to be punished some more. YUCK! You piece of dog shit!! (Ganon troll laughs.) HUH HUH HAHA HA.

Fuck you! Back to the beginning. Ohh, that's cute. Now I have to walk all the way back to the palace. In any other Zelda game, if you died in one of the palaces, mazes, dungeons or whatever. It will start you at the entrance. But HERE they decided: FUCK YOU! YOU DIE, YOU WILL GO BACK TO SQUARE ONE! EARRING!! Of course, I have to mention the towns... it's very quiet. Yes, you need a break from all that madness. But the townspeople aren't that helpful... Why include a character in the game who has nothing to say? The most famous one is THIS guy...

Well... maybe it's just his name, that's all. Maybe it's pronounced Eeerror. In each town, there is a woman who restores your health and invites Link inside. And you never see what's going on there. Is she giving you a potion? Are you performing a magic spell? No, we all know what's really going on. Link says, you know, going a little bit like the old "in-out, in-out" thing. I mean, this isn't little Link anymore. He has already grown up. He learns all these special moves like the down thrust, the up thrust, and there he learns the pussy thrust.

Yes, that should be the name of the band! But, seriously? Link deserves to get something for all this hell he goes through, he doesn't need to get anything from Zelda! Well... Then again, he's sleeping. What was Link doing there in the first place? Oooooohhhhh noooo... Link is a bloodhound! In other things, the fun thing about cities is that you can jump to the roof. Yes, that's fun! See this! I'm going to turn into a fairy wait... that's not supposed to happen. Maybe he shouldn't have done that. What the hell? Glitch Green Goblin: Honey! Failures! You like them?

Salty Nerd: Nooooooo AVGN: Let's see if I come up here and turn into a fairy... DID I FALL OFF THE FLOOR?! Jamming Green Goblin: I fell to the ground! On the ground On the ground Even Salty Nerd: I DON'T WANT TO GO THROUGH THE FLOOR! But then, what do you expect when you turn into a fairy while high? High and high. Either way, you will see glitches. (Link stabbing a shitball) AVGN: Do these skulls ever die?! (continues stabbing like hell) You'll kill your thumbs faster than you kill this thing. Ooh! Thank God! Tell me this: why does Link get hurt by BUBBLES?

What kind of pussy is it? You have to fight some magician, but it's impossible. Unless you have to take the magic reflection spell to some guy in town. But before I give you the spell, you must rescue a little boy. Oh, look at that, I don't know why, but I find it very funny. I mean it's great. Someone would make a t-shirt with that. It's like every time Link finds something, he has to hold it up. Imagine having him as a friend. Hi Link, have you seen the uhhh... TV remote control? (Link has a remote control!) Oh!

Cool! You found it! Well. Yes, you can leave that. Some of the articles are disappointing. The candle, for example, automatically illuminates the dark areas of the caves. But wasn't it more fun when the candle shot fire directly into the old man's face! The Flute doesn't do the same either. Here you used to pass this huge spider and open level 6. But how are you supposed to guess that? In the first game it was because of transportation. What the fuck?! Oh, and I hate these horse heads. The way it moves up and down. Reminds me of the Jellyfish from the Castlevania games.

Yeah, anything with a pattern like that, these games caused me so much stress as a kid that I developed a psychological complex. Every time I see wavy lines, I get

angry

! Sometimes I tried to cheat, I turned into a fairy and flew. I know it's really stupid. But if you're going to cheat. You might as well be a fairy while you do it. It doesn't work that well anyway. You never had enough magic to do it, and there is a wall. CURSE! You fight the dragon, go through a cave, and knock down some trees with a hammer to find a hidden city.

In this town you get a spell, try to use the spell and the only thing you will find is that it changes some of the enemies. But unlike the rest of the spells in the game, this one has a secondary function. There is a place that seemed like a dead end. You use the spell here and it makes the temple come out of the ground! How are you supposed to know all that unless you read Nintendo Power? The townspeople aren't much help, they might just say: Yeah, it's classic cryptic Nintendo horse shit! I always hated this part too.

These guys stuck their heads over a fence like the Tinder Tool man's neighbor and threw rocks. THAT'S A KID THING, I mean, come on! THROW ROCKS?! Once you reach the last level, you can restart there if you die. Finally, the game gives us some mercy! But if you don't have extra lives, it doesn't matter. You have to save all your "free guys." Yeah, all those mini

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s you find throughout the game, save those bastards, you'll need them all. Then you fight Thunder Bird and finally DARK LINK! Sometimes referred to as Shadow Link. This is the final boss of the game.

AND HARD as SHIT! He imitates your every move and will kick your butt! Come on, come on, come on... AARRRGGH! Come on OOOOOOHHH, fuck... RRRrrr!! NNNNGH! Well, IT'S IMPOSSIBLE! I'd have better luck trying to fight my own shadow! Damn son of a bitch! Come on!... DAMN IT! You can't beat your own shadow and that's what this game is. It is your dark alter ego that knows more about you than you do yourself. I don't know how you could win, unless you are really HARDCORE. Some players are so harsh on the first game that they came to Ganon without the sword.

That's crazy, but people like a good challenge. Do you want a good challenge? Try to beat Zelda II with a POWER GLOVE! Yessssssssss! That's a laugh! In conclusion, it's still a great game. But many considered it the black sheep of the Zelda franchise. And, understandably, it's very different from the first game. But obviously, Nintendo didn't want to repeat the same game again. So they tried something new. Some people we are and admittedly have mixed results. But he had his own legacy! It was the first Zelda game that has towns to visit and has a magic meter... and many games copied its style like Battle of the Olympus and even Rambo.

In short, it is a good game. But it is very frustrating and I will never get over it as long as I live. No.