Will Ferrell, Exotic Animal Expert

Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME TO WILL FERRELL. (Applause and applause) Stephen: WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE. THANK YOU FOR HAVING ME, STEPHEN. Stephen: ALWAYS A PLEASURE. VERY COOL. IT'S GREAT TO FINALLY BE ON THE SHOW. Stephen: DID YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO SEE THE GAME BEHIND THE SCENES? WHAT A GAME. Stephen: THE SUPER BOWL. NO. THERE WAS A THREE-HOUR "DOWNTON ABBY." Esteban: Ah. He was very worried about Lady Mary. OBJECT! AND SHE WAS TRAPPED IN A GIANT AND SILVER SUPER BOWL. Stephen: CAN I ASK YOU A QUICK QUESTION? I WANT TO GET TO THE MOVIE IN JUST ONE SECOND.

YES. (LAUGHTER) Stephen: I'M CURIOUS... I'M CURIOUS ABOUT YOUR OUTFIT TONIGHT, WHAT IT IS ABOUT. OH, YES. THESE GUYS. You know, I JUSTINOID YOUR AFTERNOON SHOW IS SOMETHING NEW. Esteban: YES. AND YOU STILL DON'T HAVE AN ANIMAL EXPERT. Stephen: WE DON'T HAVE ONE YET. WE DON'T HAVE ONE YET. WE HOPE TO GET ONE. WE HOPE TO GET ONE, YES. I THOUGHT I COULD STEP IN AND FILL THE GAP. Stephen: THAT WOULD BE AMAZING. I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO TALK ABOUT "ZOOLANDER 2". YOU'RE REALLY NOT FOCUSED ON THAT RIGHT NOW. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE ANIMALS. GR WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.

YOU ARE THE GUEST. IN FACT, HE'S BROUGHT SOME OF THE RAREEST AND ENDANGERED ANIMALS IN THE WORLD, AND HE'S VERY EXCITED TO SHARE THEM WITH YOU AND YOUR AUDIENCE. (Applause and greetings) THANK YOU. THANK YOU. Stephen: WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? THIS IS MULAN, EASY, EASY, EASY, MULLAN. MULAN... WOULD NOT DO IT OOOH, AND AAAH, WHEN YOU HEAR WHAT SHE IS. IT IS A PERUVIAN MUNGOSTA WITH SHORT SPINE. SHE LOOKS SO CALM AND SOOOTHING, BUT CAN BE VERY AGGRESSIVE AND CHARGING. SO PLEASE, NO BREAST MOVEMENTS. Stephen: SHE LOOKS LIKE... BUT I COOK BADLY... SHE LOOKS LIKE A KITTEN.

STEPHEN, WHO'S WEARING THE VEST. She is she IS A VERY ENDANGERED SPECIES. Stephen: I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WERE MONGOTOS IN PERU. NO, THERE'S ONLY ONE, THIS ONE. AND YOU KNOW WHY? THEY ARE VERY DELICIOUS. (LAUGHTER) WE HOPE TO GET AN INDOOR BREEDING PROGRAM. Stephen: I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT ANIMALS BUT HOW DO YOU HAVE A BREEDING PROGRAM WHEN THERE'S ONLY ONE OF THEM? YES, HUH? WELL, WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO CROSS IT WITH SOMETHING, SOMETHING COOL, LIKE A WOLVERINE, OR POSSIBLY A DIRT BIKE. SO... (LAUGHTER) YES GR THAT'S WHAT IT WAS... IT WAS FUN WORKING ON THE MOVIE WITH BEN.

HAS BEN BACK? WHAT MOVIE? Stephen: "ZOOLANDER?" I HAVE NOT SEEN IT. THIS IS KAYAK, THIS IS A MONGOLIAN BUST TIGER. (LAUGHTER) AND I CAN TELL HE'S A BOY. HE HAS A HUGE BAG. (Applause and applause) CAN I SAY THAT? Stephen: WE CAN SAY THAT. WE CAN SAY THAT. Okay, yeah. AND HE'S ONLY ONE YEAR OLD, BELIEVE IT OR NOT. IT WILL GROW UP TO 11 FEET LONG. AND IT'S GOING TO WEIGH MORE THAN 600 POUNDS. Esteban: WOW, WOW! THE MONGOLIAN TIGER COULD KILL AN ADULT MOOSE. Esteban: REALLY. I DID NOT know there were moose in Mongolia. NO, IN MY BACKYARD.

YEAH, I SENT A COUPLE OF MOOSE TO SEE IF THEY COULD DO IT AND I MADE A LOT OF MONEY. Stephen: CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING? WHY DO YOU HAVE A GUN? IF BUSH'S TIGER ESCAPE, THIS, I HAVE TO SHOT DOWN. Stephen: HE IS THAT DANGER. IT IS THE LAST ONE THAT EXISTS. Stephen: ACTUALLY, THERE'S ONLY ONE OF THESE, 22. THERE'S ONLY ONE OF THESE TOO, SO YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE. (LAUGHTER) Stephen: SO HE'S A DESPERATE ANIMAL. IT'S A DESPERATE, DESPERATE ANIMAL, READY TO TEAR YOUR FACE OFF. Stephen: WHO DO WE HAVE HERE? GET WINGS. Stephen: LET ME ASK YOU, WAS IT FUN INHABITING THE CHARACTER AGAIN?

YES, YES, IT WAS VERY FUNNY. YEAH. So-- GR AND WHAT IS THIS GUY? Are you sure you've heard of a platypus? THEY HAVE DUCK BEAKS. Stephen: THIS IS A PLAYTHIN WITH A DUCK BODY. Stephen: LET ME ASK, ARE THEY WEIRD? THEY ARE SO WEIRD. THIS IS THE ONLY ONE LEFT HERE. Stephen: WHERE DID YOU GET THIS GUY? THIS GUY HAS A DUCK BAKE AND DUCK FEET AND ALSO THE BODY OF A DUCK. AND I HAVE THIS... I HAVE THIS IN CHINATOWN. HE BEAT A ROOSTER PLAYING TIC TAC TOE. Esteban: AND WHAT IS HIS NAME? YOUR NAME?

SILAPT ROW. Stephen: ARE YOU SURE THAT'S HIS NAME? ISN'T THAT A garnish or something? I'M PRETTY SURE IT'S CILANTRO THANK YOU. Esteban: THANK YOU. ARE THEY YOUR HELPERS? DO THEY COME WITH YOU TOO? THEY TRAVEL THE WORLD WITH ME. Stephen: WELL, OKAY. NOW WHAT IS THAT? (LAUGHTER) HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN A CHICKEN BEFORE STEPHEN? Esteban: Okay. WHY DO YOU HAVE A CHICKEN HERE? OH, WE'RE FEEDING THIS CHICKEN TO THE NEXT ANIMAL HERE. COULD YOU PUT ON THOSE PROTECTIVE GLASSES, PLEASE? Stephen: DO I HAVE TO PUT GLASS? YES. LET'S FEED THIS CHICKEN TO THIS UPPER NILE SKULL BADGER.

Stephen: ARE YOU GOING TO FEED THE CHICKEN TO THE THING? (LAUGHTER) THIS BADGER IS GOING TO EAT THAT BOY CHICKEN. Stephen: GO, GO. (LAUGHTER) HAVE YOU FEED HIM BACKSTAGE? I'M SORRY, SIR. I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT. Stephen: WHY DO I HAVE TO USE SAFETY GLASS? IF YOU HAVE HALF A CHANCE, THIS THING WILL COME THROUGH THE BULB IN YOUR EYE AND NESTED IN YOUR BRAIN for him. THEY LAY EGGS IN YOUR BRAIN. WHEN THEY ARE BORN, THEY EAT THEIR OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND SCREAM FOR YOU. Stephen: WHY DID THEY EATEN YOUR TONGUE? EXACTLY.

Esteban: Okay. WELL... (LAUGHTER) WHAT'S YOUR NAME? YOUR NAME? PEYTON MANNING. (Applause and applause) Stephen: WILL FERRELL, "ZOOLANDER 2" RELEASES FEBRUARY 12. PEYTON MANNING, EVERYONE. WE WILL BE BACK WITH KEY AND PEELE.