When is it time to get a divorce? Couples Therapy and Relationship Expert Dr. D Ivan Young

Valentine's Day can be a difficult holiday for many people; It can highlight the fact that you once again don't have that special someone or it can draw attention to a

relationship

that is struggling to help us navigate matters of the heart. breakup author, don't break up dr. D Vaughn

young

and if you have a

relationship

challenge you are dealing with please call us 7 1 3 2 8 4 1055 7 1 3 2 8 4 10 55 and dr. Young may be able to give you some love advice. Good morning, oh fool, bragging about the previous segment about cheating. Are there some basic principles that you should consider as a therapist to determine whether a relationship can be built and strengthened from there or not? it may be

time

to quit, there is a lot of information present, what happens is we ignore the obvious, there is an old thing where if you want to hide something, where do you put it in someone's face and that's where we tend to hide things?

We ourselves, the things in front of us, achieve it and go the extra mile that is often overlooked, yes, but how do we know if this is a relationship we should build on? Because you know, a lot of

time

s it's not about sex it's actually about emotional and psychological issues, so I guess if you're going to rebuild that relationship you have to agree to trust, you have to agree to forgive, maybe not forget, so

when

Are you leaving? When do you say? Well, I developed a test that will help with that, but to be really honest, affairs happen for several reasons: one, the relationship should have never started, start with two; okay, the second thing is that you find yourself in a situation where you are looking for it more: leaving the house than leaving the house.

Coming home, you don't really cultivate a relationship that is validated or authenticated

when

people feel invisible, that's when they want to show themselves to someone who will notice their presence. Yes, in a case like that, you could work on rebuilding that relationship. Well, let's talk about proof of love, you have five areas that you should consider if you want to improve or avoid losing the love of your life and a lot of that has to do with the fact that by being united equally we can start in the same way or not and then over time Things change and we need to get them back on track, so let's start boundary testing.

Boundary testing is really simple. When you look at boundaries, what you want to find is: are you betraying the confidentiality of your relationship? Are you getting angry and leaving? and telling your in-laws and your friends what's going on between you and your partner, are you being given information by someone who really trusts you and is thinking that you know you're my partner, whether it's a boyfriend, fiancé or girlfriend? or a husband or a wife and suddenly you would share it in confidence now it is all over the neighborhood and in the family circle and why won't we share it with our partner but we will share it with our fingernail? girl and our stylist, what's up with that?

Well we all know what I'm talking about, right, you tell them everything, there is a need to communicate the problem is that you are communicating with the wrong person, you need to communicate with the person you have problems, yes, that would be a red flag that something is wrong, okay, when your partner is suffering, how do you treat them? That's another thing, most of us tend to avoid our partners when they're hurting, when we avoid people when we decide that. Well, I don't want to be bothered with your problem and men really have a bad case of this.

We will see a woman who looks dejected, acts depressed, does not communicate and we begin to become best friends with the remote control or the golf clubs, which does exactly the opposite because people enter into relationships to be able to assert themselves and have someone with who to share these long difficult moments. Yeah, one of the things we talked about before, if you're not that loving partner, they might go off and find that loving partner. Right on three, are you carrying unresolved anger or unresolved anger issues or bad feelings about something your partner did to you in the present or in the past?

And I have to tell you when I go home to visit my parents. I have said this. over and over again my mom, 92 and 96, will mention things from 1942 and act like you think it happened an hour before we got home so you have to let it go, there's a lot in it if you start finding Yourself licking the back of your hand and seeing if your partner is breathing, that's a sign that you're probably dealing with some stress that you haven't let go of and if you live in the past, how can you be in the past?

President, if you are not in the present, what have you just done to the future? Yes, the best thing to do is if these issues are present, bring them up, talk about them, and with both parties let the other person finish talking, no. Finish these sentences, really listen because you can't do anything about a lot of this stuff, however, the fact that it's off your chest and you're no longer being pressured to repress it doesn't have to be projected at the wrong time and in the wrong circumstances. Alright, we have a person named Sarah, good morning, Sarah, good morning, what is her question for dr.

young

man, I really don't know how to start, but I wanted to tell you that you know you've been married for several years.

I have noticed lately that stupidity is just emerging as immaturity where I noticed there is no respect for nights. I can't sleep, it's this constant making stupid noises, you ask them to be quiet, you know, they come to pick up the drink, you know, after work until bedtime and I'm just kind of hanging out, I mean. I'm not going to be a happy camper for several years. I guess I've been waiting until the kids are older, that kind of thing is there, let me ask you, ask you this, have you told him that you know that I've had numerous arguments about the things that I said to him, you know, sometimes it's urine or the bottle because this doesn't work, we've gotten ourselves into an ugly dissertation, why didn't you sleep or stay in bed for about two weeks?

I was like, you know? She behaved for about a week and then asked again: How long have you been in this relationship? 22 years old and how old are you? Can I ask? Just give me an estimate. Almost 60. Well, people change every five years. The person that any of them What we are today is not the person we were three or five years ago, so the man you married is long gone. What's going on with him could be any number of things, but you mentioned alcohol, so he's entered into a surrogate relationship with a distilled spirit. unlike the Holy Spirit, whatever, but when someone starts getting drunk, get involved, their presentations, I call it, it's called the GABA system, where there's a chemical in the brain that inhibits behavior, when you have enough alcohol, of suddenly these things that you wouldn't normally say or start coming to the surface, so the first thing is you have to deal with the alcohol problem and stop sweeping it under the rug and also what causes that, yeah, and the other thing is that when people come to my office, the first thing I do is look through their trash and find out that okay, no, let's not look at the presentation, let's look at the source and when we get to the source we can dismantle the platform from which they built, yes, because on my own professional level. opinion.

I see that I see someone who is acting out, but you know, kids act out because I don't know how to communicate and sometimes you act out because you don't know how to really communicate and that's a case that I believe in. Therapy would be really good. We have David on the line. Good morning. David, good morning. What is his question for dr. young man, my question is, I'm a little worried between me and the mother of my children, she just opened on day two, I guess life circumstances and she was saying that I wasn't complementing the last five years, it's been a lot and I'm I'm just trying to figure out if we should know the main things to get back together or go our separate ways.

Have you ever received

therapy

just out of curiosity? Well, many people avoid

therapy

and I must tell you that professional therapy can help you get to the heart of the matter. Things that this is what you do well. I can tell you that I am very satisfied with my practice. I have about a 90% success rate and the reason is that we don't do the things they don't want to do. at home and you talk about the things you don't want to discuss you know how today and then here's the other side people who understand how another person communicates and they're basically sixteen personality types with several variations of different traits that can manifest so that the Lo The first thing to do to answer your question is that people say what they mean and what they mean is that their actions speak louder than words, so if this woman has already taken the step to say "you know", I might want to get out of here, I won't.

Really feeling this, there is a reason for it and I applaud you for wanting to save it, however, the first thing is to really determine why she wants to go and what is happening there or what is not happening there that is causing her to have these feelings when you talk about success, sometimes success is you agree to part ways as friends, yes you agreed to part ways and in order for it to work, you just need to know what you're working with before one last look comes out, okay. all relationships end whether in life or death there and people are in your life for a season for a reason and for a purpose and when that season ends, when that reason is discovered and that purpose ends, sometimes it's time to allow for the transformation to take place. and let them go because you can't remove the stripes, if you want to learn more about dr.

Young and his book The breakup is not broken, just log on to our website at Great Day Houston Comm. I think some people were here high-fiving back in '89. Okay, I think we had Church for a minute there, looking to add a little spice to your Valentine's date night: How you both can enjoy a love story with food heating things up in the kitchen below.