What happens when children switched at birth aren't swapped back? | 60 Minutes Australia

Few stories have been as extraordinary or as emotional as the one you are about to see. It begins with two women who give

birth

to two

children

on the same day, two years later they discover that there has been a terrible mistake in switching their babies at

birth

. everyone has been raising the wrong child,

what

would you do? Would you keep the child you raised or change him? The decision the mothers made surprised many. Nowadays each child lives the life that the other should have had, a rich one and a very poor one 15 years older than you.

I can't believe how it all turned out, Robin and Gavin are two South African kids from opposite sides of the track. By rights, they should never have met, but they came together as brothers, all because of a grave human error. Years ago, their story begins in February 1989, in the middle of summer, in a maternity ward of a Johannesburg hospital, two single mothers give birth to Robin and Gavin half an hour apart despite them being the only babies born. that day, a nurse makes the most of it. Terrible mistake. Tags were changed at birth, we weren't immediately made fun of, and we went home to the wrong mothers.

I went with Meg and Robin with Sandy and that's all I can say because at that point I can't even remember.

what

he was doing but not yelling but you went home with the wrong mother gavin went home with Clinton Parker Meg's Robin with Sandy Dawkins the

children

lovingly raised as if they were their own but

when

Gavin was almost two years old a paternity suit led to a DNA test and a terrible You discovered that he was not Meg's son. You didn't reject it at all. I don't think you can reject a child you've been so close to for two years.

We first met the mothers eight years ago

when

they spoke to Richard Carlton. I mean, where is my baby? I mean, you knew you had given birth to something that you see initially, I think you protect the one you have, you know, the first few days of shock, then comes the curiosity, well, wait a second. Um, it's not that easy, where's my baby? Know? It was like someone had electrocuted me. I became hysterical immediately because I mean they tell you that the child you have been taking care of for the last 20 months is not yours, it belongs to them.

Anyone else single mothers had to make the impossible choice between the little children they loved or the babies they gave birth to? Did you make the right choice? I don't think there is a right decision. I don't think everyone even on The Family agreed with the way I did things, but I think they understood, but they were also glad that it wasn't their choice and said it's your choice. Thanks, I'm glad we don't have to do that now that you're

back

home. You work and you look at those two blue eyes and he's that big and you think, well, how the hell can they not be my kids?

The mothers decided not to exchange the children and they grew up 500 kilometers apart and in very different worlds, Robin. In a single-parent household struggling to make ends meet on the outskirts of Johannesburg, Gavin, of course, lived Robin's life, growing up in relative prosperity in the south of the country with Meg and her new stepfather when we met up again. The children four years ago were 11 years old. and they seem to have happily accepted their lot in life, so how did you feel when the two of you met? Man, I don't know, I was waiting for it because having a brother would have been cool, then I met Kev and it was cool, I mean, we do things together, sometimes we get up during the semester, but at least we know each other, I mean, even if We wouldn't be surprised, I don't think we would have had a good time because we are like brothers in each other. another anything you would change nothing unchanged no nothing you used to love mom more like the way she is now keep it that way now what life was like four years ago 60

minutes

they came and saw how you were doing uh there have been some ups and downs there uh there have been some tough times and some good times, um, but you guys, that's life, life changes those things for you, uh, to make you a better person, what are some of the downtimes?, um, like coming

back

from vacation to me, um, me.

I've missed her a lot about three four days after returning from here. It's hard for me to accept the situation. The advice and I won't call it professional. Necessary. It was well-being. Some people felt that it couldn't be worn. a child from a good environment and put him in a bed and I know that sounds terrible, you don't take a child from one environment and put him in a worse environment and I don't think Gavin would have survived and let Gavin stay. our Robin basically sacrificed, right?, but I think he survived and he's a lovely boy, but I knew he would be resentful, I knew it and I don't blame him, he's right, it's not easy, I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy, watch This through older eyes, does it make you angry upon reflection? um, yeah, sometimes it does, it's hard, um, you know, if I ever wanted something, I had to walk to work, work for it, um, me.

It never just occurred to me, I'm not saying I've never had anything. What I'm saying is that Gavin gets things easy. Do you feel sorry for Robin? Not really. Hey, Gavin and Robin are 15 now. We see each other during the school holidays, but apart from strange sporting interests like shooting and their mothers, children today have little in common and when they see each other, what do they feel? The first three days or the rest of the vacation, the first two days. they are great, the rest of the holidays, the third world war, yes, what was it?, yes, we differ in many ways, we are not very, very good friends, we just see each other and that's it, these teenagers are now drifting apart , gavin the pragmatist. wants to move on while robin still struggles with the emotional burden of having two moms today they have a very different relationship with their birth mothers i love it and miss it so much i think about myself my mom talks to each other almost every day on the phone um so in Actually when I hang up the phone it's very difficult because I think, wow, you know, she's getting older, now she's starting to slow down, when will it be, when will it be my chance to start getting to know my mom?

The weird thing is that there's nothing specific, it's just that some days you miss someone another day and it's just that I don't want to hurt Gavin by thinking that I love him less or something. You know it's a terrible and bloody dilemma. Does it consume you? I can not allow. consume you because otherwise I can't be good for them if I'm in pieces all the time you have to be strong and they strong and they really are such good examples of a bad situation, you know, oh, I know why. Come on, Gavin is a bright, popular, well-adjusted young man who thinks much more about the future than he does about the past.

What do you want and hope for in the future? Basically, all the good life. Get rich. Get famous. What is the strongest emotion you feel. The fact that you're not with your real mother, well, it's a little sad that it doesn't actually have snow, but hey, enough is enough, there are curveballs, you just have to get over them and move on, it's that black and white for you, yes, have you ever done it? I wish you had the contact with Sandy that Robin has with Mex, she could be, but it's more if you have too much contact, the relationship starts to go from being a friend to now she's really becoming like my mother and that would just like to change the whole thing. result.

It has now become vitally important for me to meet Gavin one on one and strengthen the bond that exists between Gavin and me. How long has it been since you saw Gavin? Two years is a long time. It's a long time. Well, I've always been a lonely guy. I've never socialized with many people. What do you think that is? Well, I've had to go through life sorting through and figuring out how to solve my own problems. I've never had much luck with friends. He is a summer fighter. It's when you always wondered. Yes. What I always wanted.

What do you think about it? I think he is beautiful. Sandy has been a good mother to you. She has been a good mother She has given me many hiding places when I have needed them and she has taught me the way of life that she has shown me She has guided me She has been with me She is good and bad Robin Could you ever change again? I want to live with Meigs, your real mother, let me put it this way, I would love to, okay, at Gavin Ross, I would love to, but I don't think it would work out very well, trust me, that's great, please, mommy.

I've suffered from depression I've had two nervous breakdowns, you know, these days most of the time I tell people I don't want your sympathy I want someone to listen to me and I want them to understand how you think you would handle it If Robin said Mom I want to go to live with Max, I wouldn't stop him because I know he wants to go and I don't know, I just guess I'll get to know where he really comes from, but in the same way, I would also want Gavin, yes, but what if Gavin said that No?

I don't want to go back to you. I don't want to live with you. I have also seen it from that point of view and I will be honest. I've actually put it out of my mind because I don't know how I would handle it. I would be honest with you. I wouldn't know how to handle it. Would you ever want to move in with Sandy? Actually, I wouldn't know. I'm happy down here, you're happy with the life you were accidentally given, yeah, you're happy, uh, yeah, maybe really, um, in a way, yeah, you know, I know, I mean, today will probably be one of the Hotter days again, I mean say goodbye.

For my mother it is not easy, it really is not, but I have learned to live within my own settlement. I'll see you again and that helped me get through, yes, but it shot us up, this is an extended family where the growing pains of a decision made so many years ago is still being played one two three smile it's the end of the holidays time from another farewell these mothers and children are on an emotional journey there is still a long way to go towards yourself it is always that way I am never proud I used to say something I will not cry now Cry later Will you cry later?

I know this because they are really stupid. Well, you shouldn't feel stupid, friend. Yes I know. It's just a difficult situation. So you see. day when you will get your son back I have to see that day because that day is not there so it has to be that way it is non-negotiable you really miss your son don't you? Hi, I'm Tom Steinfert, thanks for watching 60 Minutes. Subscribe to our channel now to see new stories and exclusive clips every week and don't miss our bonus minute segments and full 60-minute episodes on ninenow.com.edu as well as the 9now app.