How to Overcome Indecision | Nuala Walsh | TEDxUniversityofSalford

A 14th century parable tells the story of a really hungry and thirsty donkey who trips over a bucket of hay and some water. Puzzled, the donkey looks at both and can't decide which to take first: the water or the hay. Time passes, the donkey remains still. I can't decide if eventually the poor donkey dies of chronic thirst and hunger or is it actually chronic

indecision

, fast forward to the 21st century and how many of us sometimes feel like that indecisive donkey who places too much importance on something small that we don't we make. We do not think about the future consequences of our actions and become paralyzed at the thought of making a mistake.

Well, as a behavioral scientist with 30 years in corporate life, I have studied many different books and articles on decision making, most of them will tell you how to do it. To make a better or smarter decision, very few will tell you how to make a decision when you feel stuck mentally, but what if by simply understanding why you can't make a decision you can learn to

overcome

indecision

? Anyone can do it. Become a confident decision ninja by changing their perspective by reframing how they think about that particular indecision and all you need are three simple science-based techniques, but first let's look at the nature of indecision itself.

Almost six billion Google searches tell us that it is not necessarily the The most complex of the decisions that baffles us may be what to wear, what to watch on Netflix as well as whether to report bad practices, whether to change jobs, change partners or start a new one. business is different for all young people o Whether rich or poor, my 82-year-old mother finds things more difficult than me and sometimes vice versa, but what is absolutely consistent across all of humanity is that paralyzing fear of anxiety, of committing the wrong mistake and that longing for certainty that everyone feels at some point in their life.

In fact, some of you may feel like raising your hand now if you are currently grappling with a decision of any kind. Oh, I see quite a few, a pocket of indecision upon indecision there, maybe let's keep that idea and that decision in your mind. Understandably, this can feel overwhelming because, at the end of the day, there is a weight of expectation that you put on yourself afterwards. After all, scientists say that you make at least 35,000 decisions every day, 95 of them are made unconsciously and then there is also the weight of the expectations that other people have of you as a parent or as an expert in your field, people expect you You have the answer to everything and in business, it is often the most confident and decisive leaders who are recruited, rewarded and recognized as consumers, we pay billions each year to receive expert judgment and advice, It may be safer to be indecisive and not make a call, but it really does come with consequences, whether financial, ethical, or social, but the good news is that once you understand why you get into this mental maze of indecision, it's easier. find a way out and it can be due to different reasons: you may simply not have a strong preference for Rome or Paris on your vacation or you may not hire Betty or Benny; you may feel like you have too many options or that it's worth it. too few options you may have so much time that you're languishing or so much time that you know you're just panicking you may feel under pressure you feel morally conflicted you feel like everyone is watching you all of these reasons affect your ability to prioritize and then there's personality , you are a good person, you want to keep everyone happy and we all know how that story ends and many people are proud of wanting to make the perfect decision and equally that causes as many problems sometimes as the donkey of indecision.

You're convinced that only one answer, whether it's water or hay, is the perfect answer, and so when you're in this mental labyrinth of indecision, what determines how long you stay is actually three inner voices, the thinking that this decision of mine is just too big, I can't deal with it or it's so far in the future that I don't have to deal with it or even it's too difficult, I don't want to or I'm not going to do it, so what do you do? Some people might say walk the dog, sleep on it, use your intuition, call a friend, but science will point to something else, something more effective. technique in which you change your perception of a particular situation, for example, a problem is often reframed as a challenge, a challenge could be reframed as an opportunity in your youth, a drunk text message could even have been reframed as an experience of learning, there are many of these.

Stakes people do all the time and the logic is pretty clear. If you turn something around and look at it differently, you gain perspective, you distance yourself from the particular situation and therefore have the opportunity to move forward and in exactly the same way. If you take these unconscious ideas that your dilemma is too big, it is too far away, it is too difficult and you consciously make yourself feel that it is smaller, you will sooner and more easily find a way out than this labyrinth, so let's take the first of them, the idea that what I call the proportional frame is too big now my niece is overworked and underpaid, it's her first job and she has completely magnified this decision out of proportion, shall I go or stay?, to the point that he avoids the decision completely and sits on the fence, now I understand it, I really understand it in my career.

She had a job offer and was deliberately delaying it so much that they actually rescinded the offer and withdrew it. This is not a good place to be, so how can you embrace this way of thinking well? You reverse thinking, so you take something that's big and make it feel smaller just like anyone would do with any big project you know, in effect, you mentally shrink the decision so my ninja niece deconstructs the problem instead of thinking about the problems. Top 10 or Top 20 factors to consider just look at the top three and then critique that idealized result, maybe this job isn't so perfect after all but autonomy longer trips and deliberately finding imperfections in something reduces the consequences and the magnitude of it. your mind makes it easier to manage and then of course a shared decision is always a reduced decision.

This reduction strategy works for all types of decisions in 1969, nafa put the man on the moon, that was a great decision or was it the astronauts who will really say it. you that was a series of thousands of micro moments of indecision that eventually became decisions and across the industry we also see this researchers from ucla and cornell tested the effect of reframing savings into the decision is it really possible for us to say what to tell a consumer who saves five dollars a day instead of 150 dollars a month, which is, of course, the exact same thing that really makes a difference in people's behavior.

Well, it did by a factor of four, four times as many consumers enrolled in this particular savings program. Because? Because it's easier. think small about big decisions and it's easier to think in days than months and when you think in days, although it may be easier, it's not necessarily better, which brings us to the time frame and again to this idea that the rewards are so far in time. future there is too much for today's sacrifice we all know that we must save for retirement move less smoke less networks more and protect the planet but we are impatient people oriented to the present in the short term we want everything now we live in a culture of instant feedback instant wealth instant loss of instant weight and that's why we procrastinate I'll solve that problem tomorrow I'll think about it tomorrow the only problem with that is of course everyone thinks about tomorrow tomorrow is the busiest day of the year and it never gets done and you stay longer in that maze So how do we change this thinking?

This reverse framing. First of all, remember the idea that you have this dilemma. Think about it and ask yourself what this decision will feel like in two weeks, two months, two years, or two decades. That's quite difficult, but start to change your way of thinking and get out of the present mode scientists say to make it easier, visualize yourself two weeks, two months, two years, two decades ahead and when you do that, what actually What you're doing is you're bringing your future self back to today so you can make the decision in the moment and again scientists have tested this, you know, with virtual reality avatars, age progression photos and they've found that yes. affects behavior and that people have indicated their intention to eat. cheat less, smoke less and save more and we see this we see it in sports professional golfers use the visualization technique when faced with a complicated shot and they teach it in clinics and hospitals therapists use it with patients undergoing rehabilitation programs When they are struggling to see their future and organizations can use it with this very difficult decision: will I speak up or ignore the decision?

In my own experimental research, I found that 92 of the employees indicated they were willing to talk, but when the time came, only 99 agreed. the first step companies make a mistake they often make big appeals to corporate culture corporate culture is a long-term process we, of course, are impatient people, oriented to the present, in the short term, it is better that they try to push the employees in the moment to solve a problem today so that they visualize themselves helping a colleague or their company in the moment instead of procrastinating. All of this is supported by emotion which, of course, is the third.

Frame this idea that it's too difficult that idea that you're thinking about maybe the consequences. You feel that they are too final, maybe you feel that they are irreversible and that the stakes are too high and you fear this regret, the humiliation and the shame of making a mistake. I see this everywhere, from CEOs across the spectrum. You see people burying their heads in the sand. like the proverbial ostrich that is afraid to make a decision, not to make a strategic decision, a merger decision or an investment decision, so how do we invert the framework, how do we make something difficult easier, how do we make ourselves feel more comfortable making what we perceive as a risky decision well, we frame the decision positively and let's be very clear a negative decision will never be positive a layoff or end of life care decision will never be positive it's about changing your perception of that decision in particular, so let's look at one of Google's most popular searches are: Will I break up with my partner?

Even the framing of that question seems pretty binary: to break or not to break and that can be a mistake, so instead of looking at things binary or expanding optionality. Think about all the alternatives you may have now. Simon Garfunkel will have you believe that there are 50 ways to leave your lover. I don't recommend, I suggest maybe two or three, and even before you get to this point, you know you can. take a vacation see a therapist have a trial separation from an open marriage there are many options to consider, but the point of doing this and having more options is that it reduces the feeling of fear, finality and foreboding when you are afraid to make that decision in particular and then think about the stories you are telling yourself if you choose to tell yourself that ninety percent of people who end up end up in abject misery instead of having the opportunity to live the fairy tale happily ever after. . in the end it is predictable if you will procrastinate and keep your head in the sand, this is all rooted in the work of martin seligman's positive psychology self-narratives and also in daniel kahneman's gain framework and nowhere did the world see more strongly the effect of the positive framework that during the coveted governments, regulators, doctors around the world encourage citizens to wear masks with a simple call: masks save lives, it was a call to hope, to emotion and to the protection of the family and in many cases it worked, it got people out of indecision now yes I'm still scratching my head with that dilemma of yours and thinking I'm still not sure what I'm going to do about it.

I would like to share with you my own technique that always works for me and I call it probability testing. and they are three very simple questions and the questions are if I want to, if I make this decision, what is the worst that will happen and then I ask what is the probability that this will happen and if that happens, what will I do about it and the reason why? I think this works because it plays all three frames. I already visualized the worst case scenario and I thought about it now that I went there and I came to the conclusion that the possibility of a disaster is probably unlikely, so I reduced the probability in my mind of this big decision and because I have created some options and choices about what I would do, I feel more positive about it, I feel more confident andable to move forward and therefore I have actually made it easier in the At the end of the day, this is all a matter of perspective, a perspective can be changed, anyone can get out of this maze of mental indecision by understanding why they enter there first and using these reverse framing principles and it can be done in seconds.

Indecision is just a temporary phase. Think about all the decisions you've made in your life at 20, 30, and 40. I'll stop there and most of them worked out pretty well, so the final rethink is due to indecision itself. Choose to change the idea that indecision is a paralyzing problem and see it as an opportunity to gain a broader perspective. You will truly make not just a decision, but a better decision and a smarter decision. Thank you so much.