How to Figure Out What You Really Want | Ashley Stahl | TEDxLeidenUniversity

It doesn't chase you or kidnap you. And the third step is to commit. Needless to say, your cute little journal of joy won't get you that love interest you've been pining for or the dream job you

really

want

. Action will do it. But perfectionism is the enemy of action. And I often found that perfectionism is a mask we all wear when we are afraid of failure. Then ask yourself, “Am I a perfectionist?” Because here is the truth of the matter. Clarity comes from commitment; It does not come from thought. Limbo is powerless. So if you

want

to be powerful, look at your list and choose something that makes you feel good.

Show up, see

what

feedback the universe gives you, commit, and know that you can course-correct along the way. You know, looking back and thinking about the fake kidnapping incident, I think a lot about my father and all the trauma he experienced that day, almost transferring his life savings to strangers over the phone. I think about how the truth always leaves clues. How he thought of asking if he was me or if he could talk to me because at the beginning of the conversation with the kidnapper, he wanted to talk to me as proof. A part of him knew it.

I think about how he gave up his power in desperation and fear, as we all do. And most of all, I thought about my compassion for the kidnappers and all the lessons I

really

learned. We all have the opportunity to free ourselves. And it starts with a real look at who you are. Doing a self-audit. Follow

what

feels good. And taking action. No matter what stage of your life you are in right now, you have the opportunity to turn a corner. That means connecting with the truth. Connecting with your body. Connecting with your joy. Above all, that means turning around.

Thank you. (Applause)