Simon Sinek Masterclass: The Key Steps To Finding Your Purpose

I didn't want to wake up at noon anymore. I just broke up and the feelings just got darker and darker, it wasn't until a very dear friend of mine came to me and said something's wrong, there's something different and everything. From that energy that was spent lying, hiding and pretending every day, you now had new energy, Renewed Energy, to find a solution this week about high-performance author and inspirational speaker Simon Sinek. I told the story to the head of some BBC sports talent because she wanted to be a sports presenter and she told me these are the exact words.

BBC Sport doesn't employ people like you, but I like it now, why have I done well? But very few of us can clearly articulate why we do it. what we do it's not my intention to make money I mean what is

your

purpose

what is

your

cause what is your belief why did you get out of bed this morning I have a vision of a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every morning inspired, but I don't think you can achieve high performance on your own. I don't think it exists, either they're not as high performing as you think they are or they're high performing but they have a tremendous cost, so if we turn the lens on yourself, how did you come to discover your why?

So it's very difficult when your friends tell you something is wrong and you say no, everything is fine and then they let it go. Friends who truly love you are the ones who will lean on you for that. tension and that's it, I got you, I love you, you're safe, hey, it's Jake. I just wanted to stop by first of all to thank all the new subscribers here at High Performance, but also to let you know that we have launched the High Performance app to get you closer to your own version of High Performance. You can listen to episodes before anyone else.

You can listen to them completely ad-free and you can also get exclusive content that you won't hear anywhere else. All you need to do is press. the link in the description of this video and you can download the high performance app enjoy Simon welcome to the show thanks for having me we are very excited about this conversation the first question for you is how would you define high performance? I think high. Performance is more of a feeling than an achievement, true. I think high performance is being in flow. When I feel like I'm doing well, I'm actually having fun.

You know, no matter how hard the job is, no matter how stressed I am. I'm um, even if I work late at the end of whatever I'm doing that day, I'll walk, I'll go, that was fun, so for me high performance is probably this intersection where you like what you're enjoying and the thing that you're enjoying. and you're being productive somehow they collide um yeah, I think it's more of a feeling than a calculation so what are the things that get you there? um well like I said you know fun is a big part of it for me and the way I make sure it's fun is there's a context for everything so I'm very motivated because I have a vision of a world that I don't yet exists, a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day satisfied with the work they do and as long as whatever they are doing moves towards that and it doesn't even bother me. no matter what it is um uh no No matter what I'm doing, it's working towards it and I can feel or measure that I'm working towards it, then I'll find myself much more easily in that state, so for example, if I know that something doesn't May I.

I'll give you an example, for example, if a company calls me and says we're going to offer you a ton of money to come and talk to our top 30 salespeople at a company that I don't really respect and their culture is something I would do. I don't write about it, but they just offer me a lot of money to, you know, go do it. I'll turn it down because the feeling of being there will feel like work, whereas when I was offered to go somewhere that paid a lot less, but what they say. I find it interesting what your company does or the way you manage your people.

It inspires me. I really want to learn from them and then show up with them in the conversations I have with them and the feeling that I'm contributing. Whatever they're doing that brings me tremendous joy and flow, so it's really about having a filter and using it. I think a lot of people talk about cause and

purpose

, but they use it as a joke, you know. copy on a web on a website um and if you're too driven by metrics, it's going to be a lot harder to get that feeling because metrics never produce that feeling.

I wonder if those kind of three key principles of how you would love to see the world, if you could get there even faster if you got into these businesses that didn't understand your way of thinking or didn't have these values ​​and almost opened your eyes to what they could be, oh yes. Make no mistake, I don't just preach to the converted, yeah, I mean, my team knows I call it the Belly of the Beast, I mean, I'll say yes to things that I know don't, you know, I'll go into a to. A big bank that I think has done damage and I will do it.

I'll probably present myself as a preacher, but then I have to get the scale right, so the example I gave was 30 of our best sellers. I'm not moving any needles that day. but if you say it's the top 30 CEOs of the biggest companies, you know, whatever the venture capital firms and the banks, whatever, oh yeah, yeah, I'm going to do that, but I'm going to come with a different agenda, you know, I'll come there to preach, so I've worked with many dysfunctional and broken companies, the difference is that there are at least some people, some executives who know that change has to happen and they welcome my message when I walk in there, In other words, there is hope.

I'm not going to go preach to a brick wall, you know, it literally makes no sense, there has to be at least someone there who has an interest, which is pretty easy to assess. There's a famous saying that all progress depends on the Unreasonable Man, so when you go into these environments where you're preaching these messages, how do you deal with the idea that sometimes it's not what they want to hear? I don't think they're going to invite me. I know, I mean those who know me, if they invite me, it's because someone has at least told them this is going to happen and it's happened a few times where they didn't do their homework, you know, maybe they just know someone.

He said you should get this guy and they did and I remember there was a company a bunch of years ago and I'll leave out the names to protect the guilty, but the CFO came, he was, I wasn't waiting. the green room waiting to leave and he made the agreement and said listen I have a favor to ask you you know don't talk about layoffs I said why isn't it going well we're planning to have a round in a couple of weeks and I don't want you to talk about that that's it bad for business I said but it's bad for business it's bad for corporate culture he was yes I know but don't talk about it I said well I'm not going to don't talk about it like I'm not going to bring it up I'm not going to be spiteful and I'm not going to stab you with it, but if it comes up, I'm going to talk about it, he says no.

No, I know, but I'd really appreciate it if you wouldn't talk about it. I'm like, yeah, I'm not going to make that promise, so that's happened a couple of times, but again, I think for most people I've had enough. Keep in mind that if I'm them they know I'll always speak my mind and if they're afraid of that, someone canceled on me once when there was a big brand I had a meeting with with senior executives. Before I went to visit them and we had a very honest conversation, they disinvited me because the reason I asked the question, Simon, is that please name them, yes, the reason I ask you is because there will be people who are almost advocates for your message, who are in those organizations that want to get the message across, sometimes you can be the messenger that delivers it to a certain level of leadership, so I guess my question is more directed at what tips, suggestions or techniques you could offer to those people. that are in the belly of the Beast that are trying to make this happen, yeah, without having the platform to do it, um um, one of the mistakes that people make and by the way, people in my position also make this mistake .

The intended Insiders who want to affect change, they come with a burning desire, you know, they have the opportunity to talk to the executive and sometimes it starts with words, but at least with the mentality of let me tell you what's wrong or let me tell you as. to fix this and um uh and no one wants to hear that. Can you imagine if I sat down and said? Can I tell you how to improve your podcast? Can I spend 10 minutes and tell you what's wrong with your podcast? I mean, I haven't even said anything yet, you're shutting down, right, you say no, don't tell us that, right, um, but if I talk about vision and I talk about where I want to go and I talk about the world that I imagine I think A lot of this is language and it has to start with curiosity.

Know? Can I talk to you about some of the things you're envisioning for this company? Do you know what you envision for this company and if someone shows curiosity about someone else's ideas then and only then are they open to your ideas um only if you show interest and give someone if you make someone else feel seen and heard and understood then will want to return the favor by making you feel seen and heard understood very often. I don't really think that's the point of view. I think it's the way we present the point of view to those in power.

I almost always saw it unfold recently in front of me. A very senior executive came up to his boss and basically said, let me tell you what's broken and what's wrong, and I saw his boss just shut down, instead of coming up and saying, "Hey, how are you?" stressful weeks. I just want to check in and see that you're okay, you know, I'm me and I'm proud of that. I think that was the starting point. Why, to be honest, I'm not the first person to talk about the purpose of work. but when I started talking about why if you talked about purpose at work you were a weird hippie, you know?

So by talking about purpose at work, you're literally just preaching to the converted, to this very small group of people who believed in it and The kickoff was why um it was the language, that I found a neutral language that made that those who needed to hear the message would hear the message. It was also a new language that those who were struggling to tell their bosses now had a new language and I gained. that in the first few days I will start with why the number of people who have come up to me and said thank you, you have given me a language that is helping me tell you what I have been trying to tell you for years.

So, once again, we come back to the language, so let's talk about why, so yes, it is the global bestseller. Many copies have been sold, are still being sold, and will continue to be sold around the world, but I am also sure that there may be some. People who hear this kind of thinking, wait a minute, we'll start with why, what it's about, or even people who may have heard of the book or read some of the book, but would love to hear more from you. about. You explain the concept of starting with Y for the uninitiated, very simply, each of us knows what we do, the products we sell, the services we offer, the jobs we do, yes, some of us know how to do it.

We do, we do the things that we believe make us stand out or distinguish us from others who do similar things to us, but very few of us can clearly articulate why we do what we do. I'm not talking about making money. I mean, what is your purpose? What is your cause? your belief, why you got out of bed this morning, why your organization exists and why anyone should care, and what I learned is that the great leaders, the most inspiring leaders, everyone from Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King , Steve Jobs, you know all these great leaders, these Inspiring Leaders, every one of them thinks, acts and communicates in exactly the same way and it's the complete opposite of the rest of us, where we start telling people what we do. , they start telling you what they believe and what they do, it simply serves as tangible proof of what they believe and the magical thing about this little idea is that it is not my opinion, it is based on the biology of how the human brain makes decisions.

Go ahead and tell us more about that. So, the human brain has a part of the brain called the neocortex. what is our brain Homo Sapien is the newest part of our brain it is responsible for all our rational thinking and language it is simply not responsible for decisions this is where what exists is very rational easy to see tangible the limbic part of our brain is responsible for all our feelings such as trust and loyalty, this is where instinctive decisions come from, it is also responsible for all our behavior, but it does not have the capacity for language, that is why it is difficult to express feelings in words, that is why we use analogies and metaphors . all the time um and when we start with why you're actually talking to the decision-making part of the brain, that's why it feels inspiring um, here's why.why you light up or get goosebumps when you hear those types of messages or feel like someone is talking directly to you, instead of describing a product that you can understand and it's all very rational and most people lead with the rational, they are trying to make a tangible or rational case. why you should or shouldn't do something or buy or not buy something great leaders inspire us to buy and again it's just biology so I love that point you make about how similar the neutrality of a language is, so there is a phrase that I heard about education, let's talk about language that is psychologically privileged and in which you can get ideas, so if there is anyone listening to this who might want to start exploring why, what the type of language is, are the questions they should ask. that opens up these kinds of conversations for them to learn in their own way or well, for themselves first, but let's also talk about them initially and then maybe talk about how they can do it with the teams that they're a part of. um to do for someone for yourself to learn your own why um first of all understand that Hawaii is basically an origin story is where you come from we are the product of our upbringing you know the experiences you had growing up make you who you are.

I who am your why is fully formed between your mid and late teens and doesn't change for the rest of your life you only have one why you are who you are now if you are living in balance with that is a different conversation if you are making decisions that are high level High authenticity and that's all that authenticity means authenticity means the things that I say and the things that I do reflect who I really am that's all that means um that's different conversation um and when you know why the ability Making those decisions becomes a lot easier, you know we've all had the feeling of flow and things like this, except it's a bit like a game of roulette, as sometimes it happens and sometimes you don't like it.

I've done the same thing thousands of times. times How come you don't feel good anymore? So here's a fun way to learn why. It's called the buddy exercise. Go and search. Do this with your best friend. Be, don't do this with your spouse, don't do this with a sibling, don't do this with your parents, it doesn't work, best friend, someone who loves you, who will be there for you, will pick up the phone at three in the afternoon. morning clock and you would do the same for them and ask them this simple question: why are we friends? and they'll look at you like you're crazy because the part of the brain that controls that deep feeling of love and trust doesn't.

Not controlling language is a hard question to answer, so they'll say, "I don't know, of course, they know they just don't have the words for it," so you stop asking why and ask what exactly is in me, come on, what specifically is in me? I know you would be there for me no matter the struggle and you can't help them and you can't let anyone else help them. You have to do it. let them go through the process and they will start to describe you I don't know you're smart you're loyal I trust you and you play Devil's Advocate well that's the definition of a friend you have with a lot of people what specifically Is it about me I know you'd be there to me no matter what and again they will go through a few rounds of complaining and describing and eventually they will give up and start describing themselves and this is what my friend told me they said I don't know Simon all I know is I can sit on a room with you, I don't even have to talk to you and I feel inspired and I got goosebumps, in fact, I'm getting it right.

Now it always happens because what they did was put into words the value that I have in the world and I had the emotional response and that's what will happen, someone will say something that will give you goosebumps or you will get nervous or something will happen and that's when When you know you've got it right, you've got it right, because what you give to the world and what you should constantly work to give to the world is the reason why those people love you, it's the reason why you are not. everyone's friend and if you do this with multiple friends, the surprising thing is that they will say very similar things, if not exactly the same, because that's what you put out into the world, that's your reason, that's why you get out of it. going to bed in the morning um it's a really fun exercise um with teams it's slightly different but even for companies it's wise to learn the origin story you know where the company came from the founder's story is why organization for teams is a little different um in those cases you want to tell specific stories that reflect why we love coming to work every day and by the way, you asked before, like how do I communicate to my white people, to other people, just remember I'm not smarter, I've just been doing it.

This is a lot longer so I have practice and that's why I can wax something over a vision or something just because it's taken me many iterations to get it right, the easiest way to do it. What I do is I just tell someone, let me tell you why I love working here, not like love, you know, it's rational. I like my job. I like people. I get well paid. I like my job. Love is emotional. It's like you know. I know the question is: Do you love your wife? Yes, I like it a lot. You know it's a different standard.

Love is a higher standard. So when you talk about what you love, it's profoundly different. I'll give you a silly example. actually, one that comes from the book I haven't thought about in quite some time. Trying to communicate your ideas to someone, whether it's selling a product, selling yourself in an interview, or simply in a meeting with the people you love. people, in quotes, buy your ideas, it's the same as dating. I mean, think about it, you sit across the table from someone and you hope to make the sale, you hope to get the deal right, that's what you want, so let's make a dating analogy.

Here, let's call him Brian, of course, and we send Brian on a date, um, and he sits down at the table with this girl he was set up with and that's how the date starts, um, I'm incredibly rich, um, I'm very successful. . I'm on TV a lot, which is great because I'm quite handsome. I know a lot of famous people. And I have a beautiful house. You should come sometime. The question is how. Well, that date was instinctive, we all know it was shit, but think about how people sell their ideas or how companies sell themselves.

It's like we are a very, very successful company. You may have seen our advertising on television. We are very us. We are very good at what we do. We have beautiful offices. You should come see them sometime. Well, if we know the date sucked, why would we think that would work better? The answer is that it is not like that. Now let's send. Brian is out again and this time we will explain his why and say that he doesn't know his why, but he can answer specific questions about love correctly. He can give specific examples, so he sits back down and says.

You know, I absolutely love my job, the other day, just three days ago, one of my team members was struggling and I had the opportunity to like it. He was walking down the hallway and he was inside. I was late for a meeting. but I thought you know what's more important to me and I sat down with them and helped them solve a problem and then I went to my meeting and I was late and when I explained why I was late they all said yes, yes. Of course you did the right thing and I have to tell you it's the most magical thing in the world to come to work every day at a place where I can do that and it's greatly appreciated and the best thing about it was that I did it.

I made a lot of money from it and got to meet a lot of famous people. I'm on TV all the time, which is really cool because I'm handsome and I have to buy a beautiful house and you should. I come at some point like all the same rational things were there, but how different did that feel, yeah right, and now the rational things are the proof, but it's not the reason to buy, so if you can tell a specific story of what you love and it is a high bar you have to love it is a way to attract people who love the same thing and the best thing is that it is a filter because there are some people who hear that story and think that it is corny it is not going to do well for us together in business, so it's a fantastic filter that attracts the right people and repels the wrong people.

Brilliant. Okay, I have a lot of things running through my head. The most important is this fear of not being sure you are. I'm going to be able to find my why now, at this point in the conversation, Simon offered to help me find my why. Here is a small example of what we discussed. You had that experience of sitting in the back of the car. Yeah, your mom probably trying to support you. Dad woke up, you know, was there something in particular about this one or is it just one that you found to try and capture the general memory, um, I think it was because my parents were very busy, so my dad used my dad, he was a charity worker. , but I was also doing a career when we were kids, my mom was a full-time teacher, so there weren't a lot of things like we weren't a family that did a lot of things, actually mom and dad basically worked and then the weekends were a list of jobs on Saturdays and Sundays and they continue like that, even now that they are 70 years old, they just make you come into the house, they have a list of jobs all the time and I think it was like that was gone and we were just together on those moments, so that stands out much more than being at home, like I don't really notice anything, so it's the joy of going on an adventure with the family, yes, or maybe two people who are more adult than you, yes, yes, something like the formula one example, yes, of course, so, yes, those stories are very similar, wasn't it you standing alone in the pit lane, right?, you said it was these two people you were standing on. you meet a racing driver and a multi-million dollar team owner, you meet something like mom and dad, you meet a charity worker and a teacher who are highly qualified people, but at that moment you are just a family and you are a part of that family and you may be the youngest and least qualified person, but you're still part of the family, yeah, and those two are exactly the same story, that incredible feeling of, oh my God, that's right, I love this.

I'm in the car with them, yeah, you know, this is it, this is it and everyone's relaxed and we're having fun and I'm part of it, you know? and they see me as equal, yeah, yeah, you know they didn't. Look down on me and you said I feel like I've arrived, you feel like I'm here, but it was also that you were treated that way, yeah, you know, so your why is very much your why is a lot about um um. feel part of the family feel part of the team um and I would dare say that you are happiest when you work with people in a common cause to do something together and where you have difficulties is when they ask you to. doing things alone and listen to that in its entirety, download the high performance app for free right now and you can listen to the entire conversation as Simon guided me to find my own why, let's get back to the conversation, so if we turn the lens to yourself, how did you do it?

So come find out your why, so, um, it was. I reached a point in my career where I had fallen out of love with my job. um on the surface, my life was good. You know, I had my own business. We had amazing clients. We did an incredible job. What was he doing? I had a marketing consultancy, yeah, um, in New York and uh, I didn't want to wake up at noon anymore. I was just, I was done. I was a sudden realization from a loved one. I mean, you know, these things always feel sudden. but they've been, you know, it's a slow boiling frog Until you realize the water is boiling um so the answer is who knows, it showed up, you know, how long does it take to feel depressed? you know, I don't know um and I was deeply embarrassed, feeling bad because I shouldn't look, look at what I'm doing, look at the things I'm doing, like I shouldn't be, you know, depressed or you know, I don't want to go to work, so I kept it. to all those negative feelings towards myself that are really stupid um and the feelings got darker and darker and darker and darker and they feed on each other, they feed on themselves and that's the problem with keeping negative feelings to yourself. itself, they rot and grow and it got to the point where I was really in a dark place, but all my energy went into pretending that I was happier, more in control and more successful than I really felt, so no one noticed.

I knew, and it wasn't until a very dear friend of mine came to see me. Me and I said there's something wrong, there's something different, I don't know what it is, but something is wrong and I, for some reason, I opened up and I was honest and it was cathartic, you know, it was a weight that was lifted off my shoulders and everything. that energy. which consisted of lying, hiding and pretending every day. Now I had new energy, renewed energy to find a solution. um uh, I'll spare you the long story, but I had already articulated this idea of ​​the Y and the CircleGolden to explain why. some marketing worked and some didn't, and it was the discovery of the human brain, the limbic brain and the neocortex, um uh, which I learned at a dinner party.

He was sitting next to someone whose father was a neuroscientist. I mean, it was just like a polite conversation and like Belle started to explode and I realized that she wasn't explaining why marketing worked, she was just explaining why people do what they do and I realized that this was my problem. He knew what he was doing. I knew how he did it, but I couldn't tell you why that's what I needed to find and couldn't do it myself, so I brought in a stranger who had objectivity and took me through some kind of version of his process and mine. which really helped me, but the most important thing was that I figured out how to help my friends find their why, of course, and that's what I started doing.

I started helping my friends find their why, but there is an element of your story that, thank you for sharing, I think takes courage to do, whether that friend is yours. who just discovered that something is wrong with you and I ask that you have the courage to open up and be honest and vulnerable with them is something that I think is not referenced enough, thank you but I disagree because I think my friend had anger, not me, you know, I think it's very difficult when your friends tell you something is wrong and you say no, everything's fine and then they let it go or they're not even willing to say some things, it's just too awkward You know, we don't like awkwardness, awkwardness, we certainly don't like causing discomfort and we certainly don't want to create tension or a fight, so we just leave it and I think the brave friends, the friends who really, really love, you are those who will lean into that tension and leave.

I don't care what you say and I know you're lying to me. I love you to death and I know something is wrong and I'm going to keep asking you. until you tell me you know and most importantly whatever it is, I have you, I love you, you're safe, I don't know what it is and I don't care what it is, I just know that I'm your partner and you you're never alone and the friend that helped me became the way we said I love you to each other um we used to say you're never alone because that's how it all started you know she told me you're not alone here um so I think she he had the courage to get me to open up and then I just went into the safe space, so if we accept that the courage was there, I'm sure I won't accept the question which is very noble for people to ask, I think.

The reason I ask this is because for anyone listening to Simon I, I'm interested in him laying out what the benefits are of being prepared to ask these questions that often go unanswered. Yeah, I mean, you know, human beings regardless. Our own opinions we are not as strong or as smart, but in teams and groups we are amazing, so try to solve the problems in your own life by yourself. I have it. I have very bad news. You can't, that's why addiction exists because I can't solve these problems on my own. I can't get over the stress on my own, so I'm going to drink, you know, or I'm going to do something else that's harmful to me and my family. and my relationships like all addictions are if you're addicted to your cell phone addicted to alcohol addicted to drugs you're going to destroy your relationships you're going to destroy yourself um and there's tremendous courage and it takes courage.

It's okay for someone who loves you to say: I've got you, I'm here, let's do this together or for you to call a friend and say: I think I'm struggling and I don't think I can do this alone, can you help me? It's humiliating, but it's perhaps the most important lesson any human being can learn, which is, I don't know and I need help. And if you can learn that and you can do it in the worst of times, you can do it. You can do stupid things all the time and I, for me, I mean, for those who know my work, you know, I regularly call myself an idiot, you know, and I consider myself an idiot because I have no problem saying it.

I don't know, can someone who knows who is smarter than me explain this to me? I'm under no delusion that I have to present myself as the smartest person in the room because I'm not, you know where I am? Well, I may know a little bit about something, but gosh, everything else we're talking about I don't know anything um and um and I think feeling comfortable asking for help and saying I don't know um turns out we're surrounded by people. who want to take care of us and help us but they don't because they didn't think we needed it because we were too busy presenting ourselves as perfect and having all the answers so they just didn't do it, yeah, but they would, yeah, if we just asked them and you know I have a small group of friends where you know we have a deal and you know I have a couple of friends who are super senior, super high achieving by all traditional definitions and I remember the first time one of us called the other one and said, "I'm stuck," which is really hard to do because you want to appear smart and strong to people who you respect and who are very smart and strong.

And I have one of my dearest friends. He's in the military, he's a senior officer in the US Air Force and he's still on active duty, and um, I remember the first time he called me brother, which in the military is a big deal. . You know, you and I have colleagues and co-workers. They have brothers and sisters um and so they call each other brother and they call each other sister and it's kind of amazing um and I remember the first time he said "okay brother, I'll talk to you later" or "hey brother" and I was like, that means the relationship It was different now, you know, and he's a warrior, I mean, he's a badass, he's an incredible human being and when we get off the phone, he'll say, I love you, you know? or he will text me. and saying I miss you, not only do I miss you, I miss you, which is much more vulnerable, you know, and it's deeply human, and he and I, you know, we call each other and say, I'm struggling or I'm stuck, and sometimes it's a business. .

I just need your opinion, but sometimes it's personal, just frustration, you know, can I talk to him? I'm so frustrated, but having to foster those relationships and those relationships take a lot of work to get to, they don't just appear and they do require. risk, you know that at some point you open up a little, but having those types of friendships I think are absolutely essential to being what we would call a high-functioning human being. I don't think you can be a high performer on your own. I don't think it exists and anyone who does it is either not as high performing as they think they are or they are high performing but tremendously expensive.

They feel alone. They need pills to start the day. They have other problems. I will have health problems later in life. I think if you want, if you choose, quote, to have high performance on your own, it comes at a cost that I think is not worth it. Can I just upload that message because I think it's particularly for young people? people now listen to podcasts logging into social media sites Instagram all these other things it seems like we upload the self-made success story and everyone wants to tell us that they did it on their own yes I think it's very good to hear this yes I heard This incredible story from Steven Spielberg where he said that when he hears his name he receives thanks like people thank him from the stage when they receive an Oscar that he doesn't really know and has never helped, except to the people he actually is. "I helped, I don't thank him because there is a fear that if I thank Steven Spielberg for helping me, it somehow devalues ​​the fact that I got an Oscar, which of course is nonsense, it doesn't, but there is a deep insecurity of that I can".

I don't thank anyone or say that I received help, that I am him, I am him, look how great I am, yes, and the reality is that there is not a single person in the world who has achieved it without someone's advice, a favor from someone, an open door. from someone advice from someone um a shoulder to cry on from someone someone to vent to you know someone can be negative like even I don't know people who cause problems in your life bullies at school like yeah, everyone collaborated We all collaborated because they have developed your resilience, your understanding of human nature, nothing is a solo journey in this world and thanking the people who really thanked you is I think it's humbling, yes, of course, and anyone who presents themselves as if they were the wolf lonely.

I succeeded and won these awards and achieved this wealth and power and fortune or whatever. The joke is that we know you're lying, if you're a human being. I know you're a liar, right? So why don't I just confess it and I? In fact, I'll think highly of you. There will be people listening to this now who think, man, this guy has it all, he understands himself, he understands the world, he understands business, he understands leadership when you found your why, yeah, that eliminates the doubt and the fear and the bad days and the insecurities no, of course not, um, it helps me understand the times when things went well, why they went well.

It helps me understand the times when things went wrong, why they went wrong, and it helps you make decisions so that I put myself in a position of strength more often than not, so, for example, I hate the conversation about strengths and weaknesses, what are your strengths, what are your weaknesses, I think it's a stupid conversation because everything requires a context, right? You don't have it. Strengths or weaknesses, you have characteristics and attributes and in the right contexts those things are strengths and in the wrong context, in the wrong environments those things are weaknesses, they are always correct, so it is better to know who you are and then look for the environments in those who will develop those things.

There will be advantages, so for example, if someone came to me and said Simon, your work is incredible, we will offer you 10 million pounds to do any job for us and we will lock you alone in a room for three weeks and let you that you do it right now, superficially. Most people like amazing, but I know that if I say yes to that deal, one of two things is going to happen. One, I'm a disaster working alone. I know this is an attribute. It's like being on a team, it's an attribute, not a strength, not a beater, and it's an attribute, so if you make me work alone, one of two things is going to happen, the quality will be bad, so I'll give you work. and I'll leave.

Wait, no, we don't pay for this right or the stress that it's going to take for me to get some kind of decent product is going to absolutely, it's going to destroy my health and myself and everything, the stress is just tremendous, so when they offer me you know, if someone is listening, I would accept this offer, but you know, if someone ever came to me with that offer, I would say thank you, but I would like to have a team of people, please, that I can choose from and you can lock the team in space for three weeks and we will create the product because now I am taking my attribute and I am putting myself in a position of strength and one of the things that when I learn my why and I learn my house helped me navigate better and create the environments that make it more I'm probably in a position of strength not to, that's all, and if I couldn't make it work, at least I went in with my eyes wide open, this is It's going to suck, but at least I'll do it for a short period of time and I think that the cost is worth it, because I always weigh the cost of everything, everything has a cost, there is a cost for money.

Make there is a cost to your career, there is a cost to your relationships and there is nothing wrong with that, just like there is a cost to buying a cup of coffee, right? The question is: was the cost worth it? Yeah, you know, this coffee was worth a fiver? If the answer is yes, spend it, if the answer is no, find somewhere else to spend it or I look for something cheaper, so I always weigh the cost and say is it worth it and if the answer is yes, I will do it. No, I'll work very hard, I don't want to say this is fascinating because we've done over 200 of these interviews, Simon, where we often go back to the teachings of Howard Gardner, the educational psychologist who has that great line of gift.

We don't ask people how smart they are instead of asking them how they are smart and a very good example of that was when we interviewed Joe Malone, she is a perfumer, she talked about how in the school environment she came from a broken home, so what she was she worked extra jobs during the evenings and weekends she was dyslexic she hadn't been diagnosed so in the school environment when she yawned because she had been working the night before she was diagnosed with laziness when she couldn't understand the work she was doing . She was diagnosed as stupid and she said that was when she came out of that environment and realized that she had this amazing ability to take ingredients and create beautiful smells, which is why we're seeing this pattern very frequently among our high performers that you're describing.

I'm interested in how again our listeners might identify their characteristics and attributes so they can place themselves in environments where they thrive. I mean, you have to be honest with yourself as someone who knows you don't have to. Beat yourself up, but you don't have to rationalize and make sure everything is okay, I mean, most people have some sense of self-awareness. Know? Do you work better aloneor as a team? You can answer that one that you know. You work best when you are distressed or need time. Know? Are you the kind of person you know? You get good grades but you need to study hard or your grades are okay but you didn't study as much as I always thought. grades should be proportions, you know, it's like the grade earned over a number of hours studied, right, you know, okay, so if you need a scoop and you're willing to give someone 50 hours, that's your person, But if you are willing to sacrifice. quality a little but you need it done in an hour, yes, I have someone else for you here, there is no difference better or worse, yes, sure, and I think what we have done is falsely assume that high levels of achievement are what most importantly so if you get top marks it means you are the smartest in the room but again not if it took you 50 hours and I need someone who can work under pressure yeah right so most of us know that How do you learn?

Can you just skip classes? do all the reading and you will do well on the test or do you have to go to class because you have to listen to it, are you an oral learner or are you a visual learner? Do you know how to take notes? You know everything. these, I think anyone who is even a little introspective can figure out where they did well, like: I can't go and I have ADHD. So reading doesn't make sense to me, in one ear or the other. I mean, it's like I'm literally useless and So I still have to pass school and I firmly believe that the solutions we find to the struggles we have as children become our strengths as adults.

That's why I'm in school with ADHD. I can't read, I mean, I can physically. I read I just don't understand and I've been diagnosed no, no, I wasn't diagnosed until I was an adult and so many similar things, you know, hyperactive child who was accused of being selfish or not caring about people because he was absent. -In my mind, I forgot a lot of things that I was supposed to remember, um, and if you believe a lot of those things, it will destroy your self-esteem, um, and there were definitely times where that happened, you know, I'm like, oh God.

God, I'm a horrible, selfish human being, you know, um, but, thank God, it wasn't diagnosed because although there were difficulties that went along with it and there were definitely struggles, the tricks that I figured out because I had to. getting through school was I had to go to class I couldn't skip class I needed really good teachers who were good at explaining things I couldn't have them teach me from a book because I had to have fun in class um I had to do it Go after class and talk to the teacher because the conversation helped me learn and then I did well, you know, and I became very good at asking questions.

I became very good at listening to, well, look what I do for a living. Skills were formed and then why am I good at connecting patterns like I did with you in a you know with just a couple of examples? Well, that comes from my childhood because I had to pass the exam, so I needed to get as much information as possible. The short period of time that I was able to because I have to figure out these things that don't make me smarter, it just means that I discovered a life hack and I think you know in this modern age we are so afraid of our children.

By being in uncomfortable positions we are eliminating all the struggle, you know, we are putting them on big pillows and saying: let me make this as easy as possible for you now, of course, every parent wants to make your life easier, but if you talk to the date between quotes High-achieving people in the world I mean, there's that very famous story about Richard Branson, you know, where his mother would drop him off three miles from home and say, "I'll meet you at home," and you'd have to figure out how to get there. home. and she always told the funny story about how, whatever it was, you know, a half hour and 20 minute walk would take her three hours because she kept stopping to look at all the flowers and look at all the insects and now you understand boy with tremendous ability to solve problems and with an insatiable curiosity, well, you know, look how he was raised um and um and you talked about it with the bully at school like you knew that adversity is the best teacher in the world um and if we hugged too much and we oversimplify and and and and um then we won't allow people to learn who they are, what they're made of and not just speak their mind, that's too obvious.

I'm literally bad, like what makes you you. Yeah, and every single one of us talks to someone who is what we know the world would consider high performing, assuming they're healthy, you know, they all overcame something. Every single one of them, you know, Elon Musk was horribly bullied, you know, um. There are so many stories about ADHD and dyslexia and you know tons of those, yeah, in the business world, especially we've had a lot on these podcasts, you know people who have suffered enormous physical injuries or childhood trauma and this kind of feeling of You know, the post-traumatic growth, yes, it's very common in the conversations that we have and again, that's the perspective, right, yes, everyone will go through stress, everyone will go through trauma 100 percent and the trauma will have side effects, but also You know what I believe. the world is balanced I think the world is always balanced yes there are costs but there are also benefits so if you go through trauma yes there will be costs and there are benefits too you know go back and look at Covid and say , and you know, when people talk about the lockdown and all this is what happened and how horrible it was and this is what now ask yourself and what was good and I bet you can come up with an equal number because it's always balanced, Yes, the question is, are you looking for it?

You know, I guess maybe it's your natural disposition or just learning, who knows, but me, my natural disposition is to look for the benefits. I recognize the costs, but I look for the benefits. Can we please talk about leadership? some names about half an hour ago why were those names on your mind why do you consider them good leaders um all of them um survived their own lives um um which means we have forgotten a lot of people who may have achieved great things things over the years along the way, but for some reason we remember them and they were not the only ones who did it, the only ones who led their organizations or their movements, they certainly weren't the first, but there was something about them that inspired people to believe. into something bigger than themselves, I mean, when Steve Jobs dies, there's a billionaire who lives a lifestyle that none of us can relate to and we lay flowers at an Apple store after he dies, how true, that It's ridiculous, but the only reason we did it is because for some reason we connected with what he stood for, he made us, he made a certain group of people feel seen and heard in a way that others didn't and the fact that who ran a technology company, that's what he did, but why? he did it, it was something quite different, there's a reason why young people and creative people are drawn to it because he was, he was a rebel, he was an iconoclast, he opposed the status quo, you know, him and Steve Wozniak , um, and that's what creative people do and young people like to do, yeah, you know, it's not an accident, um, so yeah, they all survive their uh, you know, they live lives that they lived beyond them, yeah, so how can we, by the way, by the way, as an aside each of us has a deceased grandfather, a friend who passed away and we continue to invoke their names to this day, yeah, so it's not It is necessary that a large company or a social movement has had an impact on the lives of the people where they will do so. literally tell your story and carry your name for the rest of your life you know my grandfather was extremely important to me and you know his name shows up in fun places you know I use his name as a password and you know things like that so why?

Was it that important to them? So he was completely unique. I mean, he was a complete weirdo and very few people understood him, but I saw a side of him and he opened up to me. a way where he didn't open up to other people and basically showed me that you have permission to be your own weird self even if other people don't understand you, how did he do that? He just didn't care what people thought about him, he just didn't care, you know, I remember being a little kid and there was a politician on TV saying something or another and my grandfather we were watching the news, you know? and my grandfather says: I'm not going to vote for him and I told him that you don't like his policies and my grandfather says that I don't like his hair.

I told him you can't not vote for someone because you don't like their hair and he said I can't vote for someone for any reason. reason why I want and I said yeah I guess and he just did his thing and you know no he wasn't the one the most some people loved him and some people didn't and he definitely drove my grandma crazy but He just did it his way . Do you care what people think about you? I care, so I made a deal with myself a long time ago that if someone doesn't like me, because basically, if you want to achieve something in this world, you have to do it.

Get used to the idea that not everyone will like you, you just have to get used to that and if you want everyone to like you and that's inconsistent with making an impact of any kind, it just doesn't work that way, um, but I did it. an agreement with myself that if people don't like me because they don't agree with me, I was okay with that and if people don't like me because they feel intimidated by something I said or did or I agreed with that, but if someone that I respected didn't like me I have a problem and I have to take responsibility and I'm doing something wrong and that's the deal I made with myself and that continues to this day, you know if I go, I have friends that don't They read the reviews of their books, I don't read them and I will always read them because I find them, because if they are useful, I want to know if there is a critical review that explains in a very orderly and well-organized way that when one of the things I wrote failed It didn't work, I actually like it, yeah, that's a good point, that's a good point you're making, I'll take that one, you know, whereas someone just calls me an idiot or a Neanderthal like someone literally calls me.

When I'm with this guy, what am I supposed to do with it? This is the worst book I have ever read. okay, compared to things like, I don't know, that's not useful to me, give me something useful, you know, um, bad reviews or bad reviews, like again, if it's useful, I really appreciate it, but if you're just throwing away stones, I don't. I don't really know what to do with that, yeah, so tell us what's the best feedback you've ever received and then if we're talking about you as a writer, yeah, be specific because your work is involved and it will outlive you, yeah, you know.

I like the impact to be significant around the world, so I'm interested in how you got there and what the kind of adjustment was. What was the best comment that allowed you to write so succinctly and powerfully? When I wrote. my first book, no one thought I could write, including me, the longest I wrote before was like 15 20 pages, you know, a school paper which is brilliant for people to listen to because I think people see someone like you and thinks I must have been amazing since I was 11 writing all kinds of amazing things like that soap opera no.

I think if I'm really honest with myself, probably the longest I wrote was 10 pages because if it was 30 it would probably be shit, so where did it come from? The courage came from then to even start or think that I'm going to write a book, it's not really courage, it's that I had this idea and a friend of mine said you should really write this and I was like, "Okay, you know, And someone". I did an introduction to uh and again when I say someone, it's not because I was well connected, it's because I believed in starting with and and I was very good at that and I believed in the law of diffusion of innovations, which I just talked to early on. adopters and therefore the right people always made introductions to me.

I was insisting on only talking to early adopters, so basically, my plan for what my career was like and how I built it starting with Y is written and starting with And that's literally what I did and I had no advertising or PR companies. I didn't play with algorithms. He didn't handle numbers. I didn't have friends. I wrote fake reviews like nothing like that. All the tricks and trades he had. I didn't do any of them. I followed that book. It's my model. I just wrote what I did. Then someone introduced me to one of the big business editors and you know.

I had a 29 minute meeting with him and him. three days later they offered me a book deal, he just took a chance on me, um again, starting with why you connect with the right people, for some reason they take a chance, yeah, they don't know why, you don't know either. um, um, and then they told me. I should get a writer and then my agent at the time introduced me to a guy he knew and he said this is the perfect writer for you and I went to Portland to meet with him and I brought him the contract and these contracts always say: now You know. anylet the numbers be 25 in advance 25 at the time of delivery, whatever they are, you know 50 in advance, whatever it is and the way it actually works and practices, you sign the paper and, like crazy, three months later you They send a check, yeah, and me and me.

Know? I'm a nobody. I don't have followers. I don't have anything. But I said when I signed 50. So we signed the contract ceremony at his house in Portland. This was about a weekend to work together and I delivered. He gave them a check for the first semester and the first thing we did was get in his car and drive to the bank to cash it, which was a little strange, you know? and then he kept trying to challenge my ideas and change them and I was like, "Oh my God, this guy wants to write his own book, not help me write my book, and he was very difficult and kept tearing down my ideas and remember, when I wrote, I started with why I had already been talking about it." It was for two and a half years like I knew my stuff and I went back to my hotel room that night and I thought this wasn't going to work out and I called him and fired him.

I told him, listen, hey, I guess I don't think you and I are a good connection and he started yelling and yelling at me. I'll mention it before. I called him, I called the bank and I stopped the check, of course, and I told him I said it so you know, I stopped the check, you know, and he started yelling and yelling at me and threatening to sue me and all this stuff and the good news . It's all contracts, if you haven't done anything, there's no harm, I'm not in breach because he hasn't done anything yet, you know, all contracts have a little cooling off period and uh, so I said, I explained to him, I'm like If you knew about your threat and the way you're responding, you just made my life so much easier, uh, you've strengthened my resolve, if you were a gentleman about it, I'd really start to question whether I would have done it. the right choice here so thanks for that yeah and I moved on and of course he didn't sue me but now the problem was I had a book to write so it's amazing what a deadline will do when a company gives you a lot of money says you owe us and um I started writing but I started writing the way I talk so the book is very conversational it's a very easy book to read yeah um no I use big words because then I'm not trying to look or sound smart.

I'm actually just trying and since I have ADHD I don't like reading books and I don't really read much. Everyone thinks I'm doing great. I read and like to joke that I've actually written more books than I've read, which is true. So the best thing about being a writer is that I'm reading my own work and I get bored as hell. I just cross it out and if you notice in those books there are quite short sections and yes, they are quite punchy and there are a lot of stories because I had to enjoy reading it too, so I wrote a book that I enjoyed reading.

Someone with ADHD um, so there's no simple answer to your question, but I didn't try to write to other people's standards. Yes, I tried to write a book that I wanted to read and it turns out that it is a very nice, simple and sweet little book. which is what I like, so as you increased the numbers and wrote your other successful books, you must have received comments that people like people, so it was already old saying that failure is often born and often, but success has many. parents, yes, then many people must want to offer a vision, a comment or a criticism.

I don't show my work to anyone except one person who is like that, my friend Jen Hellam, uh, she's been with me for years. someone help me write and research name name Laurie Flynn to start with why um and she was in the New York Times because I realized that she didn't want to write to him. She needed a journalist because she needed help with the investigation and she would write a couple. of the sections as a journalist and I would write it like I said but I wrote 80 of beginning with And I wrote 90 of leaders at the end and I wrote 100 of uh of infinite game um but Jen um was with me uh for the leaders at last and an infinite game and she, I've known for years, she doesn't work for the editor, she's not really an editor by profession, she just happens to be a brilliant brilliant editor and one of them, and my dear friend and she just calls all the time about things I'm writing she says which doesn't make sense she's the only person I trust um so I do it I never do any of my stuff alone um but I work with the people I want to work with one person and it's usually one person.

I don't give my manuscript to 10 people and tell them what you think. So tell us about Jen because that really intrigued me, that relationship, like you talked about that little word. with big implications of trust, yes, well, what comment has she offered to Simon where have you gone? Wow that's an idea oh that's incredibly valuable you know Jen has a mind like mine she's the most amazing mind it's really funny because I think it's okay if I say this you know she was diagnosed with OCD not like oh I'm obsessive like no no she was diagnosed as having OCD she takes her meds you know I have ADHD sometimes I take my meds you know and we are Totally opposite, you know, the things that relax her scare me and the things that relax me scare her, it's very funny, um uh, and she's picky with logic and I'm very good with big ideas, so she'll follow along. the logic of an idea from the beginning to the middle and the end of the book where at the end I have forgotten what it says at the beginning um and so your ability to keep track of everything and make sure that you haven't abandoned the logic of the beginning the end is yes, I couldn't do that without her uh because I can't remember 250 pages, she can, it scares me, it sounds very useful because it brings that incredible skill to your writing, yes, but how do you choose?

People around you like How do you choose the people you let in? Because you will live a life. You are very well known. There will be many people who want to be. I will be friends with Simon. I can talk about my why. every day I imagine that's very attractive to a lot of people, so how do you choose the people in your circle? I mean, I don't think I'm particularly unique and I don't think I'm any different than anyone else. How do you choose your friends? How do you choose your friends? As I like. I make friends like anyone else you like.

I know someone. Sometimes you introduce them. Sometimes you meet them somewhere. Get along. They have a nice conversation. They like each other. they go out once they like each other again or not and they never talk to each other again they know that they both let their guard down a little they both break up a little they realize that they have a lot in common values, I mean, my friends are the same as friends of all the others, you know, no, I don't think there are. I mean one of the things I notice in people you know, who had some kind of commercial success, especially those who had it young is that they let their guard up because they live lives.

I mean, I had an experience where someone gave me incredibly bad advice that hurt me and it was someone in the Inner Circle, who I work with, a co-worker, who gave me incredibly bad advice. The advice that resulted was advice that worked for them, but not for me, and it was self-serving advice that they gave me and it was very expensive for me, it was very painful and I called my I called a friend of mine who has been in the public eye since he was 20, he's like 60, now you know, um, and I said how do I deal with this, how do you handle it, he says, yeah, he says you're a product now, you kind of customs, that is.

Like it never goes away like you're going to live a life where you're not one hundred percent sure and it's like I understand why celebrities marry celebrities, you know, I get it, yeah, um, because when you start meeting people , I got burned, that's, by the way, one of the things that leaders ultimately come from, and that is that yeah, you know everyone knows that when you achieve any kind of commercial success, all your jokes are funnier and you look much better. It's just what happens, yeah, and if you believe it, you're dead, if you believe your own press and you believe all the smoke that people put out, you know it's up your ass, then it's short. to be a short existence, yes, but I do mean that there is a story that I have told before and that is that I live according to a former deputy secretary of Defense who is giving a speech at a big conference, a thousand people or something and while he is standing on stage giving his prepared remarks, he stops and breaks off and smiles and says, you know, I spoke at this exact same conference last year, I was still the undersecretary last year, I was flown here in class. executive, there was someone. waiting for me at the airport to take me to the hotel someone already checked me in when I got to the hotel I went down in the morning there was someone else waiting in the lobby to take me in another car to this same place they took me at the back entrance they took me to a green room and someone he offered me a cup of coffee and a beautiful ceramic mug he says this morning he says he flew here by coach this time he says I checked into the hotel this morning I went down and took a taxi to the same place I entered through the front door, I found the way backstage um and when I said to someone, do you have coffee?, they pointed to the coffee machine in the corner and I poured myself a cup of coffee.

This is a polystyrene cup. He says that the ceramic cup was never for me, but for the position he held. I deserve a Styrofoam cup and I believe that every successful person on the planet is given ceramic cups. You know, they open the doors for you. they give you perks they give you free products you know whatever so they tell you you're beautiful and they tell you you're fun and they tell you you're smart and you feel great and it's okay enjoy it be grateful for it it's definitely fun it's definitely surreal but They're not giving it to you, they're giving it to the position you're currently in, they give up and then they give it to the next person and there's a guy I know who's a great CEO. that he had recently retired and a big fancy party was being thrown.

This is a true story, it was a big fancy party and he was talking to friends like, "Hey, did you get your invitation?" The guy says, yeah, he says. I didn't receive mine. He must have missed it, he didn't realize that he was never invited to the party in all these years, they are inviting the CEO of this company who turned out to be him, yes he completely missed the plot and like I said, enjoy the advantages, but they're not for you and I think the people who think they deserve the ceramic mug have missed, they've missed the plot, we all deserve Styrofoam mugs, but it's just that when that happens in your life, yeah, you know You because.

It becomes more and more important because it is something that keeps you grounded and keeps you coming back. There is a combination of things. I think definitely knowing your why as part of that is definitely important to surround yourself with people who call you out and tell you that you're an idiot. you know my sister is the first person to say, get over yourself, you know, yeah, I mean, you know I can't get away with anything, you know, which is right, you know, she's known me my whole life, I'm older. , so I have a couple of years under my belt, um uh, but I think the other part is the way that I view my career, and this is the importance of vision and because, you know, when I started and I said, wouldn't it be this?

It's amazing if work worked like that, you know, and people like I think you're completely unreal. I say no, no, I think I have an idea, and an idea is an iceberg under the ocean, and you're the only one who can see it. That's literally what an idea or a vision is, it's a product of your imagination and if you do some work that gives that idea some tangibility, some life, I gave a talk, I wrote a book, whatever, I did some consulting, whatever, simply. I added a little bit of tangibility that's like a little iceberg popping up for some people to say oh, I see what you're talking about now and so, throughout my entire career, someone will say, "Hey, good job." It would be like the tip of the iceberg and then as my career progressed you know the more I did the more things the more Iceberg and people say oh it's amazing what you've achieved they're just looking over the ocean yeah I'm still looking under the ocean. and I would always go to the tip of the iceberg and to this day if you, no matter how much praise you give me, I will thank you when I say thank you, but what goes through my mind is the tip of the iceberg and that's why I'm , I'm, I'm, I'm humbled by the tremendous amount of work that still needs to be done and what reminds me, you know, what keeps me going is kind of like the original founders of women's suffrage. movement in the United States, each of them had died of natural causes before, before the first woman voted now.

I'm sure they would have loved to have lived to see a woman vote, but I can guarantee you that they died proud and with smiles on their faces knowing that they created a momentum for other people to see what they imagined under the ocean and would carry the torch. without them and that's what I live for I live for I live for the desire to spread a message in a way that I can die with the confidence that other people carry the torch without me and you know I look at someone like Oprah and I'm as remarkable as she and she puthis face on every cover of every magazine, the magazine is named after him. everything is named after her and she is there and if she dies, she dies, yes, I mean an extraordinary human being who has done remarkable good in the world, but it is her, yes, and I have worked very hard so that she does not whether it's about me, you know, we changed our company from you know to the optimism company and you know, we remind our team that you know they're optimists, that's what they are, that we call our team optimists and, like me, everyone the years, you know, I don't think we'll get to 100 there yet. but every year the goal is that if I got hit by a bus I can proudly say that the work will continue because it has to because the vision is bigger than all of us, I wouldn't Let's say it's an OP, an optimistic way to end , but I think that's a brilliantly optimistic yes, but knowing that the momentum will continue without me, that's great, I love it.

That it will, um, we could talk for hours, would you come back sometime? I would be honored, thank you, it was really interesting, thank you before we let you go, although we do have some quick questions that we would like you to ask yourself, okay, chocolate. oh, sorry, we haven't started yet, that's the right answer, done, uh, the three non-negotiable behaviors that you and the people around you should adopt um uh integrity, uh honor, it's not the same thing, um, I explained to you. I'm sorry, honor, um, so honor is a word that still exists in the military and that seems to have disappeared in polite society.

You know the chivalry is gone. You know there was a time when your word was that and you wouldn't violate your word because then if people knew you violated your word. In other words, no one would want to do business with you, as if honor really mattered. I love that and I'll give you an example. To me, honor has nothing to do with reliability, intelligence, or even honesty. You can have people who are honest and trustworthy and not dishonorable, they are honest and trustworthy but dishonorable, dishonor to me or honor is doing something that is dishonorable i.e. taking advantage of another person's bad situation for personal gain, that is dishonorable and if you're willing to let go. your own interests ego ambition because someone else is struggling then that to me is Honorable and this happens all the time, like when a company is struggling an employee comes on their bus and says I want my raise now, like now is when you're going to ask because someone told you that you have influence or that you have the cards, it is dishonorable.

I want them out. I don't care how much more I have to suffer. I want them out, whereas if they put in the work and help us get through the really, really tough times and then come and say listen, I was there with you through all the tough times. I'd really think I'd like it a little more. I would say, yeah, great, let's have that conversation, but let's do it. when someone is fighting, I think it's dishonorable, so for me honor is really big, so integrity, you know, doing the right thing. High ethical standards, um honor and uh, and I think the willingness to face yourself is the third, um, it's very difficult to be a human being, you know, cats don't have to work very hard to be cats, but the Humans have to work very hard to be human and the people that are on my team, every new team member when they join our team, I like how this was supposed to be.

Be quick, every new member of our team gets a phone call from me saying, "Hey, you're part of something bigger than yourself," always remember that and B, I have an expectation of you whether you stay or you stay in this company for a short term. or long term. I hope you leave here a better version of yourself than when you started. I hope you take charge. We will give you some of that education and some of it I hope you seek on your own, but you have to face yourself and I think that is non-negotiable if you could go back to a time in your life, what would it be and why?

It's a very difficult question because I think now is the best time to be. I'm grateful for all the experiences I've had, good and bad, throughout my life, but I don't really want to relive any of them, so I don't know how to answer the question, if you could give me some advice. a young Simon, what would you say? You don't have to know all the answers and you don't have to pretend you do. I wish I had learned that lesson sooner. I bet what's the most valuable advice you've ever received. I mean the most valuable.

I don't know, but I can give you one or two very valuable items. um, you know, get over it, you know, when I complain about something or someone leans in, everyone just get over it like I'm your sister, yeah. I think that's how it is and sometimes I catch myself doing it to myself like you know I'm complaining about something like Get over it, you know, I think that's way up there, another one that I have and live with. young young man in a big company and the senior client came in and my job was to be in the high level meeting with all the senior people in my company and the senior people from the client and my job was to work on PowerPoint like that was my job and Like I had to do it next, but I worked on the account every day, so sometimes they would talk about something because I was in the weeds and they weren't.

He offered some answers, not because he was trying to impress. either is just because I really knew what was going on and they didn't, and at the end of the meeting, this woman who is like my work mom, she was one of the senior partners in the company, put her arm around me and walked out. Through the door. and she looked at me and said, you know, three quarters of an answer is better than one and a half answers and that stuck with me to this day, like when I'm sitting in meetings and I can offer more and I just don't.

Three-quarters of an ounce is better than one and a half answers. I love that for people who hear this and feel content and happy, yes, good and stable, but they don't know why. Yes, what would you say to them? Well you. I could do the buddy workout, which is a lot of fun, and it's a really fun way to do it, and you know, I've tried to produce resources to help people in what's best for them, so the buddy workout is a way you can do it, I wrote. a book called find your why, that if you want to review a workbook, we have ways to do it if you go to

simon

cinek.com, you can have someone help you personally, you can take a course that you can do with In a group, I have tried to do it as many ways as possible because I want everyone to learn their why, so I've tried to do it all different ways, whatever works, but yeah, make one of them great, yeah, and the Final Question , Simon, what is your one golden rule for anyone looking to live a high-performance life? um uh the golden rule is um it has to be for the benefit of others um um high performance for the benefit of yourself I don't really know what that means because at some point you know I want to win a million pounds, I'll win. two million pounds, he says: You're going to keep moving the finish lines and it's going to feel like a treadmill at some point, that's you.

You're going to crash, it's going to happen, but when you live a high-performance life for the benefit of others, it's endless, you can do it forever, and it's rewarding until the day you die. Thank you very much for reaching high performance, thank you. So much for having me, this is truly a wonderful conversation, thank you, it's been a privilege, thank you, thank you very much, I really enjoyed it, hey guys, I'm Jake, listen before you go, please do me just a favor, subscribe, make a big difference. For us, the more subscribers we get, the bigger the channel becomes, the bigger the channel becomes, the bigger names we can attract and the more impact we can have for you, so thank you for watching and subscribe right now.