Dave Chappelle Crowd Work

like if you're black you're going to lose anyway and then he left and then Hillary Clinton just walked past me in one of those Steve Harvey suits but Obama was taken forever everyone wanted to talk to him when I found out the media They saw it exactly. what I saw there was no doubt about it that was the guy I waited and waited for and finally it must have been over an hour and a half when he finishes his last interview and says, well, thank you very much, good conversation and he turns around and he we do eye contact, he sees me and when he sees me, he looks up, Dave Chappelle says, and Obama did me the same way I did Prince Charles.

I will never forget this, he said in my ear. I received your message. Thank you very much, New York City. You know, when I was a kid, I was probably about 8 years old and at the time we lived in Silver Spring, yeah, a common misconception about me in DC. A lot of people think I'm from the hood, that's not true, but I never bothered to correct anyone because I wanted the streets to embrace me, it's a fact, I kept it as a ruse, like I sometimes dated rappers. like Nas and them and these start talking about the projects, I was wild in my pajamas, me and I are like word word, but I don't know, I have no idea that my parents did well enough for me to grow up. white people, and to be honest, when Nas and them talked about the projects, I used to get jealous because it sounded funny, everyone in the projects was poor, that's fair, but if you made Silver Spring poorer, I felt like it was just happening to you. . pain from that first sleepover at a white friend's house, you come home on Sunday and just look at your parents like they need to make everything better at Timmy's house.

Remember the first time you saw that in the cold winter and being at a white friend's house and seeing it in his living room without his coat. Timmy was one of my first white friends in my life. Good friend too, moved to Silver Spring from Utah of all places. I assume his family was affiliated. that Mormon church they had there and I used to hang out and one day I was at his house we were just hanging out and Timmy says Dave why don't you stay for dinner tonight? I told him, oh man, I would love to, but I can't if I don't get home before dark my mother will kill me that was a lie my mother had several jobs I hadn't seen her in like three or four days at one point in my life it was my experience that white dinner wasn't delicious, I'd rather go home and fry up some nonsense or something, but then old Timmy threw me a curve ball.

He wasn't expecting me and said, "Oh, it's a shame you can't stay, Dave, because Mom made the stove." Top Stuffing I said the stove, so hold on, let me make some phone calls real quick. I had seen that commercial so many times that I had dreamed of getting my hands on some of those stove things and I finally met him, who actually had a stove box in the house. I couldn't miss this opportunity, so I pretended to call my mother , then I came back and said Timmy Timmy, you won't believe this great news, mom said, I can stay, she said, fantastic, she said.

Why don't you come with me and we'll help set the table and then we can say the blessing? I had no interest in setting this son of a bitch's table or saying these crazy Mormon prayers. I just wanted to get that damn stuff out of my hands first my plan. It was simple I washed my hands slowly and when I finished the table will be set the blessing will be said and all that will be left to do is eat I went to the bathroom I washed my hands very slowly I must have been in there for about 10 minutes and suddenly one of his moms came to the door and said hello David right, I said yes ma'am, she said Timmy tells me you're planning on staying for dinner, I said I hope that's not a problem mom. "She says no, no problem, in fact we'd love to have you, it's just that we weren't expecting company and I'm afraid there isn't enough stove stuffing to go around, so I kicked her in the stable, ladies and gentlemen.

I told you I'm stupid I told you what I was going to say and you still didn't see it coming and that's why I do the big Bo oh my gosh, but there's a bigger reason why I would stop doing comedy right now and this reason is the real one reason that has been leaking and it's really the

crowd

, not you. I'm talking about the

crowd

on the big stage. It's too difficult to entertain a country whose ears are so fragile and so sensitive that the entire country has become assholes. what you're saying upset someone you know I can remember when it all started was when I was doing the Chappelle Show when I was doing the Chappelle Show I used to do the show and then on the weekends I like concerts and so on, so I'm doing a concert and there was a couple in the front row.

Beautiful couple. Wife. The wife was obviously Asian. You can see it in her face. Husband. This was mysterious, to say the least. He couldn't pinpoint where she was from. The caramel color fell very. nice hair but could have been from anywhere Bangladesh Mexico I can't guess with hair like this all I knew for sure about this guy is that his wife was one. I could see that on his face too, no, he was laughing and having a good time. One time and she was scowling at me on a damn comedy show. I couldn't understand it and then at some point I realized that she was pregnant and I was smoking on stage.

I said, "Oh my God, that's probably why she's mad," so I started to put out my cigarette but then she hit me with one of those fake non-smoker C's, so I kept smoking. I thought baby will be fine, relax and tried to break the tension. I just asked him, that's all I said. Hey where are you from anyway and I realized she was all over me she goes very condescending she says I'm from California if you ask me my ethnicity I'm chit he said I'm Mexican bro , I said, well, me. I'm sorry if I offended you by asking but you are a very beautiful couple and lady, there is no doubt that you are going to give birth to the hardest

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ing baby this world has ever seen, that is not a bad joke, she got very angry.

I got up to leave immediately but she didn't just leave, she had to give me one last hit on the way out. I will never buy one of her DVDs again. Dave Chappelle. I said ma'am, with all due respect. The Chinese don't. I bought DVDs and the crowd went crazy, we all laughed, we had a good time. I didn't even think about it and then just three days later this lady sent a letter to my promoter telling him not to book me for shows anymore because it was a racist quote, uh, and I'm quoting her as being insensitive to the nature of my marriage. interracial.

I thought it would be if she knew that I myself am in an interracial marriage, that's true, in fact my wife is Asian, she surprises me too. I'll see you at Thanksgiving, but my wife isn't Chinese, she's Filipino, that's right, that's right, and our kids are Puerto Rican in some way, so there you have it. I don't give a damn about Interra, in fact you know my mom is half white, a lot of people aren't. I don't know, okay, you were too excited, but okay, a lot of people don't believe me when I say that, but it's true, you can't tell by looking at me, but if I grew my hair long, you'd think I was. at a Cat Williams concert, she was my, she's beautiful, they're just taking it too far.

I don't know why or how everyone got this sensitive, you know, who hates me more, the transgender community, yeah, these, I mean, I didn't realize. how bad these were. I was really upset about the last Netflix special, it's tough, man, I don't know what to do about it because I like them, I've always never had a problem with, you know, actually, I think. I make fun of everyone and I mean as a group of people you have to admit it's kind of funny. I am sorry brother. I had never seen someone in such a funny situation who didn't have a sense of humor about his birth. feeling like there's something different than what they're born with and that's kind of funny, you know, it's funny if it's not happening to you, it's like that white black that's on the news all the time Rachel Dozer, he's a white woman , but then he got dressed.

He rose like a and fought his way to the top of Blackness and he always wanted to know her so he could understand. He just wanted to have dinner with her so he could look into her eyes and call her to her face. is that speaking of I identified black who is trans talk lady stop biting stop biting there is a big difference between her and a trans the difference between her and the trans is I think I don't understand transgender people either, but I know they mean what they say that they cut off their cocks.

That's all the proof I need. I've never seen someone throw away their dick. I do not need it. I don't understand it, but I believe you when I support your decision. How far is Rachel willing to go? What is Rachel willing to do so that we black people can believe that she believes that she is actually one of us? Are you willing to support your house? Investing in a mixtape that probably won't

work

. He didn't even change her name. she didn't even change her name her name is Rachel I can't believe that name if you want my support you're going to have to change your name to the blackest one I've ever heard you're going to have to change your name to Draymond Green I don't know a name blacker than that which is black on paper if you type Draymond Green on Airbnb it will automatically log you out people get mad bro people get mad about everything he said he was doing a show that was in Portland, Oregon and they checked me into a hotel with the name by Charles Edward Cheese.

I came back and there was a note that was like a letter on my desk and it was addressed to Mr. Cheaters, so obviously I'm going to assume whoever wrote this letter. It must be a close friend of mine, this is not some kind of name that a person would just guess, but then I open the letter and it turns out that I don't know this person at all, a letter from a fan, you know, I'm not even used to it. to the idea that I have fans, but I'm grateful for it, and while I'm grateful for the fans, I don't read those letters.

It would be nice if he did, but realistically it's like what am I, Santa Claus? I don't have time for this, I want to do it, I'm trying to relax, read all these dreams and wishes of strangers, but then I read it. I had already opened it, so I read the whole letter and you know who the man was who wrote it. this letter really loves me, I mean, they were so nice in the letter and then they described to me what it was like coming to the show, how excited they were, how much fun they were having and then they said that when I got to my jokes. about transgender people who were devastated because it turns out that the letter writer was transgender.

Now I'm going to be honest for a second. I have to understand. I never feel bad about anything I say here and I would never admit it to you. I hadn't blocked your phones, but it was the strangest thing, when I read this letter it made me feel bad. I didn't feel bad about what I said. You understand. I felt bad for making someone else feel bad. Be honest. I don't even know what I said that upset that person. I have so many jokes about transgender, but I feel like it was probably this joke that I'm about to tell you right now and it's not even that bad of a joke, it's a It's a real joke, I mean, it's not true, but I had read in the paper that Caitlyn Jenner was contemplating posing nude in an upcoming issue of Sports Illustrated and I know it's not politically correct to say these things, so I thought about it.

I'll say it for everyone else, yuck, oh sometimes I just want to read some stats. I don't know why you'd put a man in the middle of the sports page like this. I just didn't think that was the place for it, but it wasn't. say something like CIT and Jen is a bad person. I'm not mad at her for doing it, or even mad at the sports illustration, if I'm mad at someone, I'm probably just mad at myself, you understand, I know I am. I'm not strong enough not to look at those pictures and I don't think I'm ready to see what she's trying to show me, so Caitlyn.

Damn, if you go through with this, you better work hard to get home. I want you to do it. go all the way Hustler style, do you know what Hustler style means, missy, that means open your lips, I hope she opens her lips and there's a little cock inside, ah, the show is behind the curtains? I don't know what I said, that bothered me. person but I'm going to tell you something when I read that letter and the moments after I read it I did something that many black men in America don't have the time or the money to do I thought about how I felt, I asked myself a very basic question that I think which I had never directly contemplated.

I said man, Dave, if you're writing all these jokes, do you have a problem with transgender people? and the answer is absolutely not, do you think I am? I understand all the decisions people make, but I understand that life is difficult and those types of decisions do not disqualify you from a life with dignity, happiness and security, but if I'm honest, my problem has never been with transgender people. My problem is transgender people. I feel like these things should not be discussed in front of black people. It's insulting all this talk about how these people feel inside since when, as Americans, giving an idea of ​​how we feel inside and I can't get rid of this horrible suspicion. that the only reason whycountries in your stupid original gang and since he bought it the other 13 shootings were carried out by white people from the torch TIY these are facts, don't you see me trying to ban white people from the program to keep some terrible idea because it's cruel and racist and Most importantly, it would be catastrophic for my results if there were no white people here tonight.

I could leave this with $1,800. This man needs to realize that we all need each other and that's why we never will. Will we ever be able to beat China because everyone in America is racist and everyone in China says everything is wrong and don't believe the media either because while all this is happening the media is trying to make us believe that the extremes between us are the norms that we may disagree with, that's fine and most of us keep a cool head about this, you know what I mean? Americans generally respect the beliefs of others, even if they do not share those beliefs.

I know. I respect everyone's beliefs except the Amish, because CU are the only ones I can say. Clearly, God is wrong, the speed limit is 75 times an hour in Ohio and one lane of traffic is in error. Your God is ridiculous. All the people on my path also know me, not from television, obviously, they know me from the streets because when I see them. horse and buggies I'll stop the Porsche and talk to them Ezekiel Ezekiel, are you sure God doesn't want you to have any of this technology or this energy, huh, huh, I can't hear you, let me turn on this air conditioning?

What did you say and they say: stay away from me? You try to tempt me like the devil devil no brother. I'm trying to get you into the game Zeke, it's a big world out here. I just drove 25 miles and 30 minutes, that's a day trip for you, you don't even know what the weather will be like tomorrow, right? Right? You don't even know there's a valuable Pokémon right in your car. I walk away, huh, oh, my vaporizer you want to hit it. my vaporizer oh, sorry, I'm trying not to get herpes, my bad, I've been playing cat and mouse with here for 30 years, I shop every night, I go to the club, tonight I'll say, no, Herby, without fail respect.

I'm not saying you have here, I'm just saying one in five people do, so let's be careful with this and make sure we come out with the lips we came with. Sometimes I think the media is hard on Trump. Because I'll see that they get along with it, it doesn't seem bad to me. I got angry at Trump for not staying in the White House long enough. I have been to the White House before. It seems like a really nice place to work, but I wouldn't want to live in that Scooby-Doo house either. That shit looks scary.

Imagine you are trying to masturbate. Bush didn't stop there either. He was also rich, he said like this: "I'm going to my ranch in Texas." Obama was the first to move into the White House. "This is a nice place. Look at this rug," the media criticized him for putting Jared P in the his-and-me cabinet. I didn't think that was the worst thing he had done and it was still early and I mean it's not unprecedented. Kennedy had the right to his brother's attorney general in Washington Outsider to be honest with you. He would probably do the same.

In fact, do you think I'm going to a Hollywood meeting alone with all those white people? I bring my MC Mittens from the streets. I don't even know his real name. Everyone calls him Magc Mittens, but I know he's not. He is not qualified. Even listening to these meetings, but this makes me feel good and all those white people look at me like Dave. Would you mind asking your friend MC Mittens to excuse us so we can talk business? I say whatever you say, he listens. the whole meeting, when they finished talking, I just look at MC's gloves and if he gives me the signal, meow, meow, I'll sign the papers, is it a gut test or how about this one?

Remember when it was the day after the election and the President of Taiwan called Donald Trump to congratulate him and Donald Trump, you know, of course, took the call and spoke to the President of Taiwan. The problem was that Taiwan does not have a president. The United States operates under what they call a one-China policy and Taiwan is a renegade province of said China and Donald Trump didn't know that and he picked up the phone and started blabbering and the media ate his ass and I'm not going to lie. I was laughing as if to say "oh, how silly." he's in trouble and then that night I was in bed falling asleep and then I had to admit it to myself.

I thought I didn't know either and then I realized that the media had gotten the story wrong, that wasn't the story. Donald Trump took the call. No one told Donald Trump not to take the call. That's terrifying. Hello.