Ricky Gervais on Sleazy Tories | POLITICS | Universal Comedy

They have had a good number of sleeves. I don't know the conservative party. You're not like, I mean, every match gets a little

sleazy

, but it's not things as interesting as work, like beating up a farmer or having two teeth, he remembers. that Tory MP Stephen Milligan was found dead, uh, with a noose around his neck, orange nitrate ammo in his mouth, a bag over his head, he put his stockings on, I'll be honest, I think he was masturbating, but again, freedom to do whatever you want, as long as you don't hurt anyone, I mean, you hurt yourself, he went too far, that's accidentally, of course, you know, that's the problem with the older mending handjob, we have to do it right or you go too far and actually die and then Then your masturbation days are over, so you know, if I liked masturbating in an inch of my life where he put on his stockings and sucked oranges with a bag on his head, I'd have a friend close and I would just say: listen, I love it.

I almost killed myself while masturbating using all this stuff, if one day I make a mistake and accidentally kill myself, come on, put down the rope, get rid of all that other stuff, just say it was suicide and how do you know they're in on it all? How did they do it first? He was getting ready one day and when he tied his tie it was a little tight? Uh oh, it's okay now and when they do that and they almost die and they do it well and they survive, then they swing there when they're done.

Do you ever look in the mirror and wonder what am I doing? The first apocryphal story or urban myth I heard was about masturbation. No, no, it's not surprising that you hear that kind of stuff when you're 14 or 15, and that's it. The main hobby of a 14-year-old boy and it was told to us by a guy named David Beasley and I talked about it on my animal show. He was the one who said that if cannibals capture you, they show you pornographic photographs so that you get an erection. and there's more meat and usually urban myths start with a friend of mine, right, not this one, he said I was masturbating the other day, guys, carry on, he said I was in my bed at home and I was naked and I had my injection and I was listening to music I had my headphones on and when I finished I opened my eyes and my mom had come in and left me some tea and biscuits David Death oh my gosh there's my first born thumping like a little monkey I'm so proud of He is very friendly if you carry him like this he will come better I leave this so he knows that his mother saw him think about that your mother coming in and masturbating you furiously the other way around it is worse but we believed that at that moment I think he believed that, he told me another story that I have no reason not to believe.

He said his brother was going to a job interview and he had to change trains in the crew and he was on the train platform and he shot himself while you I got diarrhea, I thought about it and I had to do the interview, so it seemed that they had 10 minutes to really train and it seemed like he saw millets, so he stooped towards the millets, entered and left quickly, mate Levi's 36. Okay, I have. the bag made the train go straight the bathroom he locked himself in he put on the bag he took off his pants he took off his pants he looked out the window he covered it he cleaned it he flushed the toilet himself he opened the bag it was a jacket oh and when he told us that we were going oh, what would you do, what would you do, what would you do in my life, bob trying to be cool when you just cut the corners of the aircraft carrier, oh, you're still going to do the interview, so tomorrow, oh, that take?

Myself, what is the pension plan like? Yes, thank God for a tote bag to hide my spoils. Incredible, there are more drastic forms of protest than marches and leaflets. In 1963, a Vietnamese Buddhist monk as a protest against the Vietnam regime came to light. place a light and burned to death was of no use because that is not a threat or a deterrent, if a little monk comes up to you and says, you better stop doing all those things you are doing, otherwise Otherwise, I'm going to put myself. a light, you're going to come alive, fill your boots, buddy, and no one cared and I bet you don't even know his name, right?

I looked it up, it's absolutely true, his name was thick or crispy kwang duck. bowing down to his peers john lennon a less drastic form of protest against the vietnam war the famous sleeper stayed in bed for a week with the okono and that was it and people were becoming brilliant genius that's excellent and yes, I bet Because that little monk was gutted, wait for what burned you to death or fuck Yoko. I love it when rock stars get involved. I love political songs. Be careful, friend. He has a guitar. He says what he thinks in C.

It's okay when it comes to people like you, Bob. Dylan and I love it when pop stars try it, yeah, remember the cultural club classic? They've been singing karma comedian for too long and they came up with the war song, oh and that's where they go to war, war is stupid. and people are stupid, how is that going to change your mind? I mean, if you like war, you love war, you love it, it's your favorite thing, I mean, you're on a, you're on a plane, you're going to bomb. out of the country oh I can't wait to get there I love bombing people oh oh I'm almost turning on the radio at war stupid and stupid people we're going home boy george there he packed on the pounds when he left the slap Isn't there a fable there Children, every action has a consequence?

So Billy Joel, after singing things like Uptown Girl, then revealed his classic, his p or his protest song against the world, we didn't start the fire and in that song he is. basically a list in chronological order from 1949 to 1989 and he only mentioned six to eight things in each verse, i really go harry truman doris dave red china johnny ray south pacific water who will be joe dimaggio joe mccarthy richard nixon stood up becca television north korea south korea marilyn monroe that's not a song it's a conversation with rain man you