Weekend Update: Betsy DeVos - SNL

SECRETARY OF EDUCATION BETSY DeVOS WAS LOCATED THIS WEEK, AFTER A DISASTROUS 60 MINUTE INTERVIEW. HERE TO COLLECT PHI HER POINTS IS BETSY DeVOS. HELLO. HELLO. THANK YOU, THANK YOU TO THE PUBLIC AND TO THE MAN. GREAT, GREAT. YES, THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR COMING. BETSY, WHAT HAPPENED IN THAT INTERVIEW? WELL, I -- I THINK THE PROBLEM IS THAT THE WORDS COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH WERE BAD. AND IT'S BECAUSE THEY CAME OUT OF MY BRAIN. GOOD. YES, SURE. WHY DON'T WE GIVE YOU ANOTHER CHANCE. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON PUBLIC SCHOOLS VERSUS CHARTER SCHOOLS? WELL, YOU KNOW, I DON'T LIKE TO THINK ABOUT THINGS IN TERMS OF SCHOOL.

I THINK STATES SHOULD DECIDE IF THEY HAVE A GOOD SCHOOL OR A BAD SCHOOL OR A BAD SCHOOL. WHAT THEY PREFER. IN WYOMING, FOR EXAMPLE, WHICH HAS MANY POTENTIAL BROWNS, THERE SHOULD BE A SCHOOL FOR BEARS. AND IN LOUISIANA, CROCODILE CROSSING GUARDS AND IN NORTH CAROLINA THEY STOP BEING TRANS. THAT'S WHAT'S GOOD TO THEM. GOOD. YOU COULD BE THE MOST PROTESTED MEMBER OF TRUMP'S CABINET. BUT WHY DO YOU THINK THAT IS? YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S BECAUSE I DON'T DO A GOOD JOB. AND I CAN'T BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW. VERY GOOD, GOOD, YES. RECENTLY PEOPLE HAVE BEEN CRITICIZING HIS POSITION ON GUNS IN SCHOOLS.

WELL, AGAIN, I THINK STATES SHOULD BE ABLE TO CHOOSE HOW THEY PROTECT THEIR SCHOOLS, BASED ON THEIR CIRCUMSTANCES. FOR EXAMPLE, IF TWO HOME ALONE STYLE BANDITS WANT TO ROB A SCHOOL. THAT SCHOOL SHOULD HAVE THE OPTION OF RED DOOR KNOBS OR A CAN OF PAINT THAT GOES DOWN THE STAIRS. AND IN THAT, THEY ARE GOOD SCHOOLS, GOOD CHOICE. WHATEVER YOU CHOOSE, WE ARE WORKING HARD TO ENSURE ALL SCHOOLS ARE GUN SAFE LEARNING ENVIRONMENTS. CAN I ASK YOU SOMETHING, DO YOU LIKE YOUR JOB? NO, I DON'T. I SPEND MOST OF THE TIME FOLLOWING JAEMING WHILE CLIMBING. BUT I LIKE TO VISIT A GOOD SCHOOL AND MAKE WORKSHEETS WITH CUTE LITTLE BLACKS AND OCCASIONALLY A POOR STINKING WHITE.

POOR STINKING WHITE? YES. DO YOU REALLY WANT TO SAY THAT ON TV? OH, I MADE A FUDGE. LOOK. MAYBE HE'S NOT VERY GOOD ON CAMERA. BUT BEHIND THE SCENES MY IDEAS ARE MUCH WORSE. BETSY DeVOS, EVERYONE.